by A. M. Brooks
I laugh because the idea sounds ridiculous and I wonder for the hundredth time since he picked me up outside the school if being here was a mistake. I pick up my fork and jab a piece of egg onto it. I’m starving and despite the company, this food looks amazing. We sit in silence as I continue to devour my eggs. I’m aware Darrian hasn’t moved to touch his food yet, but that’s his loss. It’s as tasty as it looks.
“Stop looking at me,” I tell him. “Eat.” He laughs gently and I hold my breath until I hear the scrape of his fork across his plate.
“So Sacramento?” he asks. Clearly, he isn’t as comfortable with no speaking as I am. I raise my brow at him and nod my head. “Sounds fun,” he mumbles.
“Should be,” I answer. “What are you doing this weekend?” I pretend nonchalance yet part of me is actually curious.
He rubs the back of his neck with his hand. “Actually, we’re taking a family trip to Stanford this weekend.”
My fork stops midway to my mouth as he says this.
“I swear I’m not planning to ambush you or anything. It was a weekend that worked for my father and I had a long weekend without classes today or on Monday,” he rushes the information out.
I hadn’t even thought about proximity-wise how close Stanford is to Sacramento. I was still reeling from the announcement he was voluntarily going to the campus at all. “Are you going to go to school there?”
“No,” he laughs. “I’m just playing his game. He gives me information and I pretend to humor him and fake interest in his college.”
“What information?” I question. He watched me intently, my brain connecting the dots that I had ignored before. “Roman,” I answer for him.
He shrugs his shoulders. “It’s not a hardship. I get to tour the school, eat a few meals, and see their impressive facility. Staying in a hotel all weekend with him may be difficult though,” he jokes.
We both shovel more food into our mouths and silence falls between us again. This time I’m uncomfortable. There are so many questions I want to ask. Information I’m dying to know. Once I open that door though, lines will really blur.
“What is your plan for school?” I finally verbalize because I can’t help myself. “I doubt you plan to graduate from the community college.”
“Honestly?” he pauses, waiting for me to take the final plunge. I blink twice before nodding. There is no going back. “I started at the college to earn credit while I waste some time. I will see this Zero-Thirteen and Roman shit through. I need to up my strength in my knee after the accident. There are a couple places I’m interested in applying to for next year. Just waiting to set up more tours.”
“Oh.” I nod, following his conversation even though it’s causing a small twinge of pain in my chest.
“That’s a lie, Nora,” he says suddenly. My head snaps back. He’s watching me again.
“I don’t get it,” I tell him, my voice quiet. I’ve heard Darrian’s mind games before.
“It’s a lie,” he repeats, something in his voice though gives me the strength to meet his eyes head-on. When my hazels lock with his greys, his smolder. “I could have still gone and played without a scholarship. I’m not exactly hard-up for tuition money. Roman is in jail and honestly, it’s probably the fact that I am still here that has him so worked up. Ethan, Elijah, Trent…they could all protect you without me. My knee is back to normal as long as I stretch before a workout and ice it after.”
“Then why?” I ask. “Why sit out when your dream was to play? To get out of Araminta.”
“You’re here,” he answers. I feel heat creeping up my neck. It feels suffocating. I want to tear my eyes away from his, but he’s still holding me hostage with the promise, the devotion, the pleading that is staring back at me. “If you’re here, I want to be here. I can’t leave until I know personally that you are safe from the fucked-up situation I put us in. I won’t leave until I’ve apologized to you for every shit thing I did to you last year.”
“Darrian—” I start to say, but he cuts me off.
“Everything won’t be perfect again, but I can’t leave until you know how I feel about you for real.” His voice drops between us.
I close my eyes, holding the tears back. I don’t want him to see me cry again. I feel weak every time I’ve ever cried in front of him. “I can’t do this with you, Darrian,” I tell him, shaking my head. “I’m not ready.”
“I know,” he says, leaning back. “But I can’t stop either, Nora. I know we belong together. I was a dick. I was mean and you didn’t deserve any of what I put you through. I’ll give you all the time in the world to be ready to hear what I have to say. I’m not going away though.”
“Why?” I ask, even though I’m scared of his answer. “Last time I checked, you made it pretty obvious I didn’t mean anything to you. We’ve never been a couple so I’m failing to see why now. Why at all?” My voice raises and I can tell my words are affecting him. His golden skin reddens along the cheekbone, his eyes narrow as they study me. His teeth hold onto the silver lip ring during our silent showdown.
“Because I fucking love you,” he tells me.
All the blood drains from my face and I swear I didn’t hear that correctly. I stand quickly causing my chair to tilt backward. My fists clench, my body vibrating with anger.
“You don’t love me,” I accuse. He leans back watching me, a predatory look crosses his face. “You don’t do to people what you did to me if you love them.”
“It’s because I love you I did what I did,” he responds as if he knows exactly what I’ll say. My subconscious wonders if this is another game that I’m already losing. I close my eyes and suck air in through my nose and release it out of my mouth.
“I’m leaving,” I tell him before he tries to explain more.
“Nora, wait,” he says, jumping up. His hand grips my wrist, turning me to face him. He towers over me and I fight against myself to not cower inward. Pushing my chest out, I stand taller, our proximity makes it challenging to look him in the eyes and my head tilts back.
“You promised you’d give me time, yet here you are, once again, doing what you want without thinking of me!” I yell at him, not caring anymore if anyone can hear us.
“I know,” he responds, bringing our joined hands in between our bodies. “I’m sorry. I need you to know how I feel though. I’ll give you time, Nora, but I’m not giving up. I’m sure as hell not going to make it easy for guys like Nichols to come between us either.”
I roll my eyes.
“Stop,” he begs. “I love you. Take your time, just know I’m not going down without a fight. I’m not going away this time.”
I let his declaration hang between us. I would have given my soul to hear these words from him last year. Right now, they make me anxious, hopeful, and scared. Three things I never wanted to feel again.
“I’ll take you home,” he says, his voice soft and careful as if he can sense I’m at my tipping point of the night. I decide right then to shut my feelings down. Without speaking, I follow him off the dock, across the sand, and into his Jeep. He doesn’t try to talk to me the whole way back to the school. I keep my gaze out the window and school my face to hide all emotion.
When we pull into the empty parking lot, he parks right next to my SUV. My survival mode kicks in and I practically fling myself from his Jeep, speed walking to my door. I beep the key fob to unlock the doors, my hand shaking the entire time. I hear his feet moving in long strides behind me, my heart skips a beat when again his hand circles my wrist and pulls me to face him. I try to yank my hand free causing his grip to tighten.
“Darrian,” I start to tell him to let me go, but before I can finish his long arms wrap around me, pulling our bodies together. For the millionth time tonight, I’m stunned and speechless. He’s warm though and smells like mint and sea salt with a hint of maple syrup from our meal. It’s delicious and my traitorous body responds instantly. He doesn’t speak, but I feel lips press against the crown
of my head before he pulls back. He gives me enough space that our joined hands dangle between us. With a smirk, he drops my hand and saunters over to the Jeep. My legs won’t move, and my head is still spinning from what just happened.
“Have fun in Sacramento, baby,” he calls, his grin widening as he disappears inside.
The door slamming sends me flying back into reality. Cheeks red, I bite my lip and throw myself into my SUV. Before my buckle is secure, I race out of there, ignoring him completely. I don’t breathe again until I hit the first set of lights.
“The hell Sutton,” I berate myself, quickly flipping through my phone. “So stupid.” I need some hardcore jams right now so I don’t have to hear myself think. I fasten my seatbelt and hit play on Machine Gun Kelly’s “Till I Die.” I ignore the looks from the drivers in cars around me as the bass shakes throughout the SUV. Fuck ‘em. I take the longer route home until my chest stops beating wildly and his scent no longer lingers on my skin.
“Whoa.” I hear Lily’s intake of breath as I follow her down the narrow steps of the arena. I smile and nod in agreement. “It’s intense,” I agree. We made it to Sacramento earlier today and hung out in the hotel until we had to be to Trent’s race this evening.
“It’s so different than a high school sporting event.” Her eyes are wide as she takes it in. I look around too, embracing the energy, and smile. X Ambassadors’ “Collider” blares from the speakers while the racers are warming up. Their engines fire and smoke from their tires against the dirt fans out. The air is thick with competition and gasoline smell. The crowd loves it. We make our way to our seats near the front. Trent got us passes to sit as close as possible as my birthday present.
“Holy shit,” Shea says, turning to us, her eyes are large.
“This is insane,” Olivia agrees, her smile is huge on her face. “Way to go Trent!” she shouts. We all laugh. Someone behind us echoes her yell and we laugh harder.
“Why don’t we come here more often?” Lily asks while her eyes follow a group of guys, who are clearly not in high school as they pass our row and sit a section over. I smirk and wink at her, but she continues to eye fuck the group in front.
“You are single.” Olivia points at her, smiling deviously. “And hot, go for it, girl.”
“Wait ‘til you see some of the racers,” I tell her, only adding fuel to her fire. Her eyes get wider and she stuffs popcorn in her mouth faster. I feel more relaxed and take a few sips from my drink.
“We have pit passes after the race, right?” Olivia confirms.
I nod. “Yup, Trent said just to wait, and he’ll text us where to go after the race.”
“So cool,” Shea breathes out.
“Trent said it’s a big race for him,” I share even though he had sworn me to secrecy. “He could get a sponsor here and be set after graduation.”
“Why doesn’t he share these things?” Lily berates.
I shrug. “Because it’s Trent.” He is the last person to brag about himself and his skill even though he kills it on the track. He’s fearless out there which makes him a threat to his competitors as well as the most sought after for sponsors. He’s just looking for the right one he always tells me, and I appreciate that about him.
The arena plunges into darkness suddenly and the crowd goes crazy. Engines are revved by the racers as the announcers go over the rules and get ready to introduce each racer that will take the track tonight. I scream when they announce Trent’s name. He’s cast into a spotlight while Chamillionaire’s “Rockstar” plays. The crowd is deafening when he does a superman off his bike in the air. I scream and Lily and I jump out of our seats dancing and cheering. I know my throat will be sore tomorrow, but I don’t care. The energy is addicting. My adrenaline feeds off of the crowd.
The lights go back on and each biker is lined up. The flag goes up and they take off. We watch and cheer for Trent until we’re getting looks from people around us. I smirk because they probably assume where groupies or bunnies or whatever the hell they call them.
“It’s the last lap.” Lily squeezes my arm. The checkered flag whips wildly back and forth. We stand cheering with the rest of the people. Trent’s bike whips a hard left on his last turn pushing him an inch in front of the guy next to him. He pulls himself up while guiding his bike over the tops of the whoops. His acceleration brings him farther ahead before the last turn. Trent sails across the finish line twelve seconds before the next rider. We scream and clap for him. Trent knocks helmets with his team members while everyone waits for things to die down. The top three riders are announced and handed a medal. My phone vibrates against my leg, I pull it out and see a text from Trent.
Trent: Come down to the green gate ;)
Nora: On our way!
“Guys.” I pull them in closer. “Trent wants us to go to the green gate.” They all follow me as we weave our way down and over to where we need to be. Trent is signing autographs on the programs for a few kids. My chest squeezes with happiness for him. Trent is living his dream and crushing it.
“Trent!” Olivia calls as we get closer. He looks up just in time as she hurtles herself into his arms. “I’m so proud of you!” Shea chuckles at her girlfriend’s antics before sliding in to give him a side hug next.
“You were awesome,” she agrees with Olivia.
“Yay!” Lily squeals while wrapping her arms around his waist. I jump in and embrace both of them not minding the dirt and sweat caked on his shirt.
“I’m so happy for you,” I add. He grins at all of us.
“Thank you, ladies, for being here,” he tells us. “I think you brought me luck.” He nods to the man in a suit shaking hands with Trent’s circuit agent and trainer.
“Did you get signed?” I ask, practically bouncing on my feet.
“I think so,” he says. “Duke will probably do some fancy negotiating shit but yeah. They approached me right after the race.”
“They’re the ones you wanted?” I question, searching for the logo of the sporting apparel on the man’s jacket.
“Yup.” He nods, his smile growing bigger. “AfterHours Racing.”
“Trent.” A group of racers walk toward us. “Are these your friends?” one of the guys asks. They all look like they belong on the cover of Sports Illustrated. Three of the four have their shirts off and hanging from the back of their riding pants. Sweat glistens off the lean muscled six-pack abs. I hear Lily groan next to me knowing she is also appreciating the deep V that disappears below the belt. I look up and the guy with the longer dark brown hair covered by a backward ball cap winks at me. He totally caught me checking him out. I blush and shrug my shoulders. He’s hot. I’m not blind. A smile cracks his lips.
“Hey, Sam.” Trent lifts his chin. “Yes, these are the Araminta girls. Olivia, Shea, Lily, and Nora,” he lists, pointing lastly at me.
“Whoa,” one of the guys with short blonde hair says, looking back and forth between me and Trent. “As in that Nora?”
“Jesus, Dean, yes.” Trent rolls his eyes. I smile at his discomfort. “We’re celebrating her birthday.”
“He’s been talking about us?” I ask. Trent shifts next to me before dragging his hands down his face with a groan.
The guys laugh. “Something like that,” the guy, Sam, says. “Happy Birthday, by the way.”
“Thanks,” I respond and share a look with Lily. “Have you guys been friends long?” I question, making eye contact with each of them.
“Since we were babies on the track,” the guy who caught me staring earlier answers. “I’m Elias, by the way. Since dick head here forgot his manners,” he says with a hint of a Spanish accent.
“And that joker over there is Kian.” Trent uses his middle finger to point to the quietest guy in the group. Kian nods, looking uncomfortable with all the attention on him.
“It’s nice to meet some of Trent’s friends,” Olivia states.
We make some more small talk before deciding to hit the diner across the road by
our hotel since all the guys are staying there as well. Now that the excitement is over, I realize how hungry I am. We order burgers, milkshakes, and taco baskets to share at our large table. The guys keep us entertained with stories of their racing memories and jokes they like to play on each other.
“It’s a tradition now,” Kian finally speaks. “You lose, and you know a prank is coming your way.”
“What qualifies as losing?” Shea looks between them all.
“Not making top six in the races,” Dean answers her before popping fries into his mouth.
“What’s new in Araminta?” Sam asks, his eyes mostly on Trent.
Trent lifts his shoulders. “Same as always.”
“Did you live in Araminta?” I ask.
“I did.” His smile is warm and infectious. “I moved in seventh grade though to Anaheim for racing. Last I checked, the football team took first and your basketball team took state.”
My smile falters a little when he mentions the basketball team. I feel Trent’s body tighten next to mine as if he’s physically taking the blows for me. “Yeah, the school is on fire,” Trent responds for me. I shove my burger into my mouth to avoid having to say anything.
The rest of the meal is easy, and no one touches the topic of Araminta again. I can tell Lily is infatuated with Dean and he seems to be into her. I feel a slight pang of guilt because of Ethan but quickly shove that thought away. Darrian said Ethan has some demons he’s working out, but he is hurting my best friend in the process. Lily deserves to be happy for putting up with his hot and cold attitude with her. Darrian. His name floats through my mind and I check my phone. He has not called or text today, which was unusual. He said he wasn’t ambushing me on my vacation. A small part of me was curious about what would happen if he did though. I gulp down some water while mentally chastising the voice in my mind. She’s a thirsty bitch.
“You ready?” Trent looks at me, and I realize he must have been waiting for my answer for a while. I smile and nod my head yes. We all get up after the guys split the bills.