by A. M. Brooks
“You don’t have to do that,” Shea tells them.
“We want to,” Elias replies. “Or super fans tonight brought Trent the lucky win. I’m happy my boy will be getting that sponsorship.”
“Shut it,” Trent says, laughing. “It’s not final yet.”
“Nichols, it’s practically wrapped in paper and a bow is stuck on top. Just waiting for your name on the tag,” Sam drawls.
“Whatever, man.” Trent shakes his head, refusing to discuss it more.
We walk the block over to our hotel. The guys give us hugs and I watch as Dean and Lily exchange numbers.
“What?” she asks when I raise my eyebrow at her.
“Nothing,” I smile, lifting my hand up in surrender. We laugh between us.
“Everyone going up?” Olivia asks before she sets off a chain of yawns.
“I am,” Lily says.
“Me too,” Shea answers. “I’m exhausted.”
I look at Trent who shakes his head ‘no’ at me. “We’re going to go check out the pool area,” I inform them. We wait until they get in the elevator before turning to leave. I catch Lily’s gaze before the doors slide closed. Another knowing look passes between us. I hate the guilty feeling gnawing at my insides. We walk to the pool area and let ourselves in. Chlorine permeates the air. A few people are hanging out in groups, but they ignore us as we find a small table to sit at. The plastic waterfall muffles the noise around us.
“Did you have fun tonight?” Trent asks.
“Yes!” I burst out, smiling when he laughs at me. “Trent, you were awesome. I’m so proud of you. And you should be proud of yourself that your hard work is paying off.”
“It’s not official yet,” he reminds me, leaning forward and cradling his head in his hands. “Thank you though for being here tonight. It means a lot to me. I’m glad you got to meet the guys too.”
“They’re great guys,” I tell him. “I’m curious though, what do they know about ‘that Nora?’” I say, using my fingers to make quotations.
Trent’s cheeks turn pink against his tan skin, he looks almost embarrassed. “Just that I messed up with you last year and I’m trying really hard this year to make it up to you. But I think I’m being friend-zoned forever. I also may have said your name in my sleep once.” He laughs while I sit slightly in shock that he told me all that. There is a tug-of-war in my chest going on.
“I don’t think I want to know what you were dreaming about.” I laugh, trying to push away any awkwardness. I went through hell this past summer and the one person I always could count on was Trent. I made it through each week just to prove to him I could. When he did visit me, I would tell him about my progress, and then he’d let me break down if I needed, then the process all over again the next week. Eventually it became less of a struggle to get through the days he was gone, and when he would visit, I wasn’t shedding tears anymore, or having panic attacks. I looked forward to seeing him. He was the sun in my cloudy existence. I hated myself again that I can’t force my feelings for Trent to deepen. He’s the perfect guy. A safety net for my heart to land on.
“I don’t even remember what it was. Elias just gives me shit about it still.” He shrugs, smiling at the memory. I smile back at him. We sit in silence, neither of us continues the conversation.
“Nora,” Trent says my name and I want to beg him to not continue. It’s selfish and unfair of me. I should let Trent go, but I’m weak and I want him to keep on being the sun, being my warmth, until I find it again on my own. “I’ve liked you since last year. I know I fucked it up at Halloween and I have no excuse, except that I had been drinking. After, when you let me continue to be your friend, I felt so damn lucky. I was going to give it some time before I begged for you to take another chance with me.” His voice is hoarse and his throat bobs with emotion. “Then everything happened with you and King. I decided that since you were happy, I’d settle with being your friend and be fine with it as long as you were happy. I did my own thing and was moving past it until Olivia started talking about how really not okay you were. When you left Araminta, my only intention was to be there for you as a friend. I really tried, but I can’t not want you. I like you. I like everything about you from the way you pop your gum when you’re concentrating to the horrible playlists on your old as fuck iPod.”
I laugh at this even as tears are welling in my eyes. “Trent,” I say his name, not sure if I’m begging him to stop or not. I have too many emotions for this conversation I can’t contain them all.
“I know you have a shit ton of things going on right now, Nora. I just want to put it out in the open,” he mutters. I watch his lips attempt a smile, but the pain in his eyes is haunting.
“I wish I had the words to tell you how much you mean to me,” I tell him. Warm salty tears make their path over my cheekbones before falling on the ground. “You’re the only reason I kept going all summer. I need you in my life and I know how horrible that makes me because I honestly don’t know if I can be what you need. I’m torn. I want to be one way, but my heart won’t let me. That’s not fair to you. I’m scared to lose you as a friend.”
His warm fingers reach out and scoop my hand into his. He squeezes me gently. “You don’t have to promise me anything, Nora. I’m sorry I sprang all this on you right now. I just can’t hold it in either. That’s not fair to either one of us. I want you to be happy. I’m here for you always.”
I hiccup through my now sobs. Trent pulls me tighter against his side resting his chin on my head. We stay that way, listening to the sounds of rushing water. It’s not lost on me that once again, Trent is holding me together without judgment while I break. He is the knight on the white horse I should cling to. If only I could escape the part of me that seeks the misunderstood king with the dark heart.
I left Sacramento second-guessing everything. Trent never brought that night up again once we were back and neither did I. My usual routine slipped back into place. Only now I was more aware of my time around Darrian. My stomach drops with dread when he picks me up for school. I know what he wants from me and now lines are blurred with Trent and me as well. Nothing is how I expected it to be when I came back. I’m angry. Angry at them, angry at myself, and angry at the situation we’ve all been thrust into. Halloween is this weekend and I’m in the same limbo as last year.
“Are you going to the party?” Shea asks me quietly from across the table. Ethan and Elijah are hosting a costume party again this year. We all were invited as well as part of the senior class. This year though I’m dead set against going.
I shake my head. “No, Trent and I are going to the movies.” I was surprised when he had asked me and I agreed right away, neither one of us wanting a repeat of last years’ experience.
“You?” She turns to Lily next. I watch a slight blush creep over her cheeks. “I’m actually going to Anaheim to meet a friend.”
“Wait, What?” I lean closer to her, smiling.
“It’s not a big deal.” Her eyes drop to the table. “Dean asked if I wanted to go to the haunted Disney theme park. It sounded cute.”
“Of course he did.” Trent rolls his eyes. “Dean is the softest guy I know. But it is a good time. I went when I was eight.”
“Shut up!” Lily laughs, throwing a piece of her carrot stick at him.
“I think it sounds fun,” Olivia reassures her, and I nod in agreement.
“Looks like it’s just us going then,” she says to Shea.
“You’ll have fun,” I tell them. “The boys know how to throw a party if nothing else.”
After lunch, I dump my tray and decide to stop at my locker quick before heading to class. I grab what I need, close my locker, and turn right into a solid wall of dark blue.
“Now that’s very Deja vuish.” Ethan laughs above me. His hands rest on my shoulders when he steps back, giving me space. I can’t help but smile too, his is infectious.
“We’re very good a meeting up this way,” I agree. “What’s up?”<
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“I was seeing if you’re planning to be at the party this weekend,” he asks. His hands slide into his front pockets. He looks almost nervous, which is very unlike him.
“I actually have plans,” I tell him.
“Wow,” he laughs again. “This really is like last year all over again.” I laugh with him when I realize he’s almost right.
“Kinda.” I shrug. “Going to class?”
“Yeah.” He looks down at me shyly. “Can I walk with you?”
“Come on.” I tug the sleeve of his rolled-up Henley shirt. Ethan falls into step next to me. We haven’t hung out much except for the meeting at Darrian’s house. I do miss Ethan in the protective brother way. The more time that passes, I want to trust him again, there hasn’t been a very good opportunity though. He’s been true to his word since the hospital. A small part of me even believes he is protecting me from Darrian still.
“Sounds like it’s going to be a good turn out,” I point out, determined to keep a conversation going.
He chuckles next to me. “There is no way to have this conversation without it sounding like a script from the past. Yeah, should be a good turnout. If you do decide to come, I promise Darrian really won’t be there.”
Shrugging my shoulders, I turn to him. “Even if he was, things are different now.”
“Well, he definitely won’t be. Recovery doesn’t go too well with parties,” he says. The implication makes sense now.
“Good to know,” I tell him. I’m still set on not going, but I keep that information to myself. Ethan and I made small steps forward in our friendship today and I don’t want to ruin it. He drops me off at my class and with a wave, he turns and jogs to his room.
The day of the party arrives faster than anticipated. Right before I leave to meet Trent, my phone dings with a text from Lily.
Lily: SOS :( :(
Nora: What happened?
Lily: Dean has food poisoning. Our date is off.
Nora: I thought it wasn’t a date? Just friends hanging out…
Lily: Shut up! Lol
Nora: I’m sorry Lil. Do you want to go to the movies with us?
Lily: No
Lily: I’ll feel like a third wheel.
Lily: Is it crazy if I want to go to the party?
Nora: No. Shea and Liv will be there.
Lily: Again third wheel. But yeah that’s true.
Nora: But other people will be there though too!
Lily: I guess. Ugh! Now I have to find a costume. :(
Nora: You’ll be fine. You’re super creative. ;)
Lily: Thanks. You sure you aren’t coming?
Nora: Hard pass! You kids have fun ;)
Lily: You too girl!
Smiling, I throw my phone in my purse and head downstairs to leave.
“Where are you off to?” my dad asks, walking out of the kitchen. He’s dressed in a black and white striped jumpsuit and carrying a fake money sack.
I laugh, surprising us both. “Oh my God!”
“Fitting, right?” He laughs too.
“You’re a genius and very brave considering,” I tell him. “What’s Jodi going as?”
“A detective,” he answers smirking.
“Well if there is a prize, hands down, you two should win,” I give him praise and wipe the water from the corner of my eye away.
“What are you up tonight?” he asks again.
“Movies with Trent,” I answer, gesturing to the door.
“Well, be home at a decent time and be safe,” he states.
“No school tomorrow, remember,” I remind him. Only Araminta would cancel school for the Monday after Halloween.
“That’s right.” He rolls his eyes. One thing we can agree on is that this town is over the top with all things. “Have fun.”
“You too!” I yell while running out the door.
Twenty minutes later, I meet Trent outside of the theater. We share a popcorn and get drinks before sitting down. The theater is dark, but we aren’t the only people in the room. My neck tingles causing me to feel jumpy. It had been awhile since I felt this way. I scoot farther down in my seat and pull my jacket farther around me.
“You okay?” Trent asks, bending down next to me. I nod then shake my head no.
“I feel like someone is watching us,” I whisper to him. He must see the fear in my eyes. He stands up, pretending to look around like he lost something before he straightens up. I notice his form freezes for a brief second. “I think I left it in the lobby. What if it’s in the car?” he says to me loud enough to be heard by people around us.
I play along even though I want to bolt. “The movie starts soon. I’ll check the lobby, you go look in the car.”
“Deal,” he says, taking my hand to help me up. My legs feel weighted down as he leads me out of the theater. Once we get out the main doors, we jog over to his car.
“What happened?” I demands, trying to catch my breath. My heart is pounding in my chest uncontrollably.
“Some Zero-Thirteen guys, I think,” he replies, watching the crowd of people passing by.
“You think?” I ask.
“They had yellow on. Camilla was with them. I noticed them, but they weren’t paying attention to me. She was watching you though,” he lets me know.
I shiver in response to his words. “Well, now what?” I laugh. I had been looking forward to tonight.
“We could go to my place and watch a movie,” he offers. I hesitate. Trent and I haven’t spent much time alone since Sacramento and I’m still terrified to give him the wrong idea and ruin our friendship.
“How about the party?” I throw the idea out there, the words out of my mouth before I can take them back.
“Seriously?” he questions, watching me.
“Lily and Dean weren’t able to go out. She went and I feel bad she’s by herself. It was just an idea.” I shrug, downplaying the idea.
“What about Darrian?” Trent calls me out. I cringe when he says Darrian’s name.
“Recovery doesn’t mix with partying,” I repeat what Ethan had promised me the other day. I watch as Trent mulls over the option I have given him. Trent likes a good party. Halloween just hasn’t been good to us.
“Do you have a costume?” he asks curiously.
“Sort of,” I say. “I’ll have to add some things together at my house. What about you?”
“I can grab something old. We’re really doing this?” he asks hesitantly.
“I’m okay if you are,” I reassure him.
“Okay.” He shrugs. We go our separate ways and decide to meet at my house before going to the twins’.
I shoot a quick text to Lily, who is excited we’ll be joining her. In my room, I quickly straighten my hair until it is stick straight. I grab my black dress from the closet and throw some fishnets underneath. Chunky black bracelets adorn each wrist before I slide my arms through the black angel wings until they rest comfortably in the middle of my back. One glance at the clock alerts me that Trent will be here in three minutes. I tie up my black Doc combat boots before taking off down the stairs. I hear Trent pull up on his bike right as I open the door.
“Whoa!” He eyes me up and down. “Fallen angel?”
“Guess again,” I tell him, even though I know he won’t get it. If my dad was here, he’d get it right away. It was my mom’s favorite show.
“I have no idea,” he admits defeat.
“Peyton’s drake angel from OTH.” I shake my finger at him.
His head falls back. “Damn. It looked familiar.”
“That was quick for you.” I point to his hockey jersey, jeans, backward baseball cap, and Adidas. He swings forward a golf club that he taped a piece of cardboard to in the shape of a hockey stick.
“Yeah,” he smiles. “I did Happy Gilmore a few years ago. It was a hit. Thought I’d try it again.”
“I approve,” I smile back. “Let’s go. I’ll drive!”
He doesn’t complain as we hop in my S
UV. An hour ago, when I came up with this idea, everything was fine. Now that we’re almost there, my stomach is in knots. I want to believe Ethan, but fool me once. I’m not sure how I would react if Darrian is there. He seems serious about his sobriety. I haven’t discussed with him though if he is staying away from just drugs or alcohol too. How much of a temptation is a party when you’re under a year sober?
When we pull up, cars and trucks line the street. If I thought last year the place was outrageous, the guys outdid themselves this year. The whole house is lit up with purple and black lights. Large bats and snakes are stuck to the doors, windows, and sides of the home. Inside, rope lights illuminate the rooms, some corners and hallways are plunged in darkness. Chills zip over my body at the creepiness effect. Cobwebs and insects hang from the ceilings and light fixtures.
“Nora?” Elijah asks as he stops abruptly in front of me. He’s dressed in scrubs with fake blood all over them.
“Hey,” I croak out nervously, bringing my hand up to wave.
“Glad you made it,” he says right as Tara walks up behind him. Her makeup done to appear as a zombie.
“Hi,” she says before hugging me. I haven’t seen her since prom and even before then we were never really close. Elijah and Tara usually keep to themselves and she’s rarely around. “I love your costume, One Tree Hill, right?”
“Wow, yes,” I tell her smiling. “No one ever gets that.”
“I love old CW shows,” she responds. Her lips turn into a genuine smile. I smile back. I could be friends with Tara. I look again at Elijah who is watching her with part fascination and part hunger. I’m dying to know what their story is and why he keeps her secluded.
“Go on in.” Elijah nods toward the area where the kitchen usually is, “Lily and your girls are back there. Sup Nichols.” He nods at Trent who offers a “Hey,” back.
I take Trent’s hand and lead us through the crowd. We find Lily taking shots with Olivia and Shea. All three are dressed in blue shorts, tube socks, and a baseball tee with yellow sleeves. Vixens adorn the front in black puff paint. We’re old school CW meets new CW shows.