Megan 3
Page 12
‘You smacked him?’ Mum asked.
‘I gave him a bit of a fright, that’s all,’ George said. ‘It was nothing. He was crying before he was hurt.’
I hugged Jack to me, tears running down my cheeks. My mind was going full-pelt but I was aware that there was a whole lot at stake here. If I spoke now, said what I ought to, everything could change. I stood to lose my precious new room, and Jack’s room, too. The space, privacy and new life I’d been so looking forward to might never happen.
I brushed away the tears. ‘Oh, he hit him all right,’ I said to Mum, and I carried Jack over to her to show her the red weal.
Mum gasped. ‘You did this?’ she asked George.
‘I told you – the kid’s got to learn.’
‘And that’s not all,’ I said. ‘You kicked him the other day, didn’t you? I wasn’t sure at first, but I am now.’
‘What rubbish,’ George blustered.
‘You did. And he’s terrified of you. That’s why he always plays up when you’re around.’
Jack took in a great shuddering breath, resting his head on my shoulder. I felt my anger rise again. ‘If you ever… ever… touch him again I’ll kill you!’ I said.
There was a long silence and then Mum said, rather shakily, ‘I don’t believe it.’
My heart sank. I felt sick. ‘You don’t believe it! How can you say that?’ I cried. ‘Who d’you think made that big mark on his leg, then?’
‘Oh, I believe George did it,’ Mum said quietly. ‘I just can’t believe it of him. For a man to hit a baby…’
George looked shifty. ‘OK, I maybe tapped him a bit hard,’ he said. ‘What’s all the fuss about?’
‘Mum…’ I pleaded. Don’t let me down, Mum, I said silently.
‘It won’t happen again,’ George said.
‘No, it won’t.’ Mum held out her arms for Jack and I let her take him and cuddle him. After a moment she said, ‘I’m sorry, George,’ in a very calm and reasonable voice.
‘What d’you mean – you’re sorry? What’s that supposed to mean?’
‘I’m sorry but I won’t be moving into that house with you after all.’
My eyes filled with fresh tears. Oh, cheers, Mum…
‘But… but we’re buying it together,’ George said. ‘We’re engaged.’
‘No, we’re not,’ Mum said, twisting off the ring and pushing it towards him. ‘I’m sorry but I couldn’t live with you. You’re not the man I thought you were. My first duty is to my children, and if I can’t trust you with them, then that’s the end of it.’
‘I don’t believe I’m hearing this!’ George shouted. ‘I’ve left my wife for you! I’m buying a house with you – helping you out of this pigsty!’
Mum smiled a little. ‘We’ve been living in this pigsty quite happily up to now, and we can go on living in it.’
‘You’re doing a stupid thing, Christine,’ George said warningly. ‘We’ve got a good life ahead of us – don’t let this little thing spoil it.’
‘This isn’t a little thing,’ Mum said. ‘Anyone who comes into my life must love my children – and Jack – as much as I do. If they don’t then it’s no good. No good at all.’
George got up and started swearing and pacing about angrily.
‘Perhaps you’d better go and pack now,’ Mum said after a moment. ‘Go back to your wife if she’ll have you.’ He went to say something and she turned away from him and said, cold and distant, ‘I’ve made up my mind, George. Don’t bother to try and say another word.’
She didn’t say anything after that, but she and I sat down on the sofa together, with Jack hugged between us, while George raved, swore a bit, then had another go at Mum. Eventually he went into the bedroom and must have started packing.
I think he got as far as putting one suitcase outside the door ready to take and then the new people turned up to see the flat again. I don’t know what he said to them because I could only hear the murmur of voices, but after a while they went away.
And then he went away as well and Mum and I just sat there for ages. In the end Jack went to sleep on my lap and Mum gave a couple of nervous coughs and said, ‘I’m sorry, Megan.’
‘What for?’
‘Sorry about George and everything. I thought it would be OK. I really thought we might be able to make a go of it but I…’ She shook her head and sighed. ‘I put Jack in jeopardy and could have ruined all our lives.’
I put my cheek on Jack’s downy head and she went on. ‘This might sound odd and you may not be able to understand it at your age, but I thought George was my last hope. I’d more or less given up on having a proper relationship with anyone ever again. George – well, thinking about it now, I probably rather grabbed at him without working things through. All I could see was a husband, car and decent income – and a proper house – somewhere we could bring up Jack together.’
I nodded slowly.
‘Then as soon as he moved in – and believe me, that situation was forced on me much sooner than I would have chosen – I began to see the drawbacks. But I told myself that once we were in the new house with all the space and everything, it would be all right.’ She shook her head. ‘It wouldn’t have been, of course.’
I didn’t say anything – I didn’t know what to say – but I patted her hand. I mean, we aren’t a very touchy-feely family, but right then I felt pretty close to her. I knew that she’d chosen us over him, and was grateful. I knew, too, the answer to that constant question about who I was. Before anything else, first and foremost, I was a mum. And if the time ever came when I had to decide between Jack and someone else, then it would always be Jack.
First published in Great Britain in 2001
Bloomsbury Publishing Plc
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This electronic edition published in September 2012 by Bloomsbury Publishing Plc
Copyright © Mary Hooper 2001
The moral right of the author has been asserted
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eISBN: 978-1-4088-3679-8
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