Key To His Heart (Gay Romance)

by Trina Solet

"Do you want to hold my hand?" he asked Ant.

  Ant grabbed hold of his hand fast and clutched it tight. Phillip was lost for a moment, drowning in too many feelings to be able to sort them out. He just focused on that tiny hand in his and on reassuring the anxious little boy at his side.

  Then Phillip spotted the sign for the gift shop. He drew Ant's attention to it.

  "We can go in there and get a gift for your Gran-gran," Phillip told him.

  Ant nodded. Going in, he pointed at the flower display. "Gran-gran likes flowers."

  "We'll get her some, and you can pick them out."

  Ant picked out the most colorful mix of flowers, and Zoe gave him a thumbs up. The arrangement came in a basket with a bow on the handle. Ant carried the basket of flowers clumsily but proudly as they went to the elevators and up to Lilly's room.

  From the door of her room, they could see Lilly sitting up in bed. Phillip was relieved that she didn't look too bad considering. The curtain was drawn on the bed of her roommate. Quiet voices could be heard on the other side.

  "Looks like you have a roommate," Zoe said as they went in.

  "That's Margaret and her beau. She's in here for her hip. I got lucky not breaking anything when I landed. And how's my little man?" Lilly said and opened her arms to Ant.

  Ant squealed happily, handed the basket to Phillip and ran into her arms.

  "Easy does it," Zoe warned him seeing how tightly he hugged his great-great aunt.

  Zoe found room for the flowers while Ant sat on the bed next to Lilly. He made happy noises, and she cooed over him and reassured him that she was all right.

  "I'm sorry I worried you all. They say I might have got too much of one thing and too little of the other," she said vaguely. "They'll have me sorted out in no time. Don't you worry." She riffled Ant's hair.

  To give her a chance to have a more serious conversation with Phillip, Lilly sent Zoe and Ant to the hospital cafeteria for something to eat.

  "Hospitals always have Jell-O," Zoe told him.

  "I like Jell-O," Ant said as they left.

  As she watched them go, Lilly sighed. "I can't tell you what a relief it is to be able to see Ant. It's such a big hardship for Zoe to bring him. Thank you for driving them here. I'm so grateful."

  "I'll do whatever I can for Ant and for you. Can you tell me what the doctors said? Why did you collapse?" Phillip wanted to know.

  "What I told Ant is right, more or less. When I went to the doctor that day, she changed my blood pressure medication. I got confused, and I guess I took too much of it instead of this other pill. I take so many now. It made me go all cold and clammy and knocked me down flat. They're worried about my kidneys. That's why they're keeping me for a bit."

  Phillip offered to pay for anything she needed. "Any treatment, if you need a specialist..."

  Lilly stopped him. "It's alright. They say two or three days in the hospital should have me right as rain."

  "And after that, I would like you and Ant to come and live with me," he said, repeating his offer. With what happened, he was a lot more determined to get them out of that apartment.

  "That's kind of you," she said. It sounded like she was going to refuse again.

  Phillip wasn't giving up though. "I'll hire a nurse for you and..."

  Lilly cut him off. "I'm not worried about me right now. It's little Ant I'm anxious about. I don't know how long Zoe can keep him. There used to be another neighbor who had him stay with her, but she moved. And my friend Bernie is in a nursing home now."

  "Isn't Zoe reliable?" Phillip asked.

  "She is, but her boyfriend comes to stay with her and the baby on the weekends. He drinks and yells. Ant is scared of him."

  Hearing this, Phillip made a decision. "I'd like to have Ant stay with me while you're in the hospital. Zoe, or someone else you trust, can come and see where I live and let you know that everything is all right."

  She thought for a moment then nodded. "You are his uncle. And I don't want Ant at Zoe's when her boyfriend is there."

  "You'll also be able to Skype with Ant and see for yourself how he's doing," Phillip told her.

  She frowned. "I don't know the first thing about that."

  "I'll have a tablet delivered here and arrange for someone to help you with it."

  She nodded again, but Phillip could tell how worried she was. He might be Ant's uncle, but they had just met. And it wasn't just Lilly. Phillip wondered how Ant would take the news.

  Since her baby was taken care of for a while, Zoe agreed to go visit Phillip's place as soon as they left the hospital. Phillip found that it wasn't as easy to persuade Ant to leave his Gran-gran though. Lilly told him he was going to go see where Phillip lived.

  "If you like it there, you can come and stay with me for a few days," Phillip told him.

  "Gran-gran, you come too," Ant said.

  "No. I have to stay here until I feel a little bit better."

  Ant looked sad when she said this. Philip tried to make the visit more appealing by telling Ant about his aquarium.

  "It's this big." Phillip showed him by stretching out his arms. "It has two fish in it. One is called Bee, the other one Ruby. Do you want to see them?"

  Ant's face brightened, but he still looked at Lilly with worry.

  "Go on. I have to take a nap anyway. And the next time you come back to see me, you can tell me all about those fish," she told him.

  Ant agreed but he wasn't happy to be leaving Lilly.

  As they headed to the parking lot, Phillip called Leon and told him that Lilly seemed well.

  "Oh, that's good to hear." Leon sounded relieved. "I bet it did Ant good to see her."

  "Yes, it did," Phillip said then told him the plan for Ant staying over at his place.

  Leon was pleased for him. Phillip could hear it in his voice. "You guys are going to have fun."

  "I've been told I'm fun impaired," Phillip confessed.

  "That's why video games exist."

  "I remember those," Phillip said. What he remembered was that he always lost to Tony. Then there was some excessive celebrating and Tony yelling, "In your face!" Phillip couldn't quite picture Ant doing that.

  Chapter 9

  As soon as they arrived at his apartment, Phillip took Ant right to the aquarium. It was set up against one wall in the living room. The sun was shining through the window and filling it with light.

  When Phillip saw Ant put his hands on the glass he warned him, "Don't tap on the glass. That will scare them."

  "I know that one. It's the bee," Ant said while pointing at the black and yellow fish, which flitted among the algae.

  "Yes, it is. It's an angel fish," Phillip told him.

  "An angel too? And a bee?" Ant said, puzzled.

  "Yes. It's both," Phillip told him. "That one is called Ruby because she is mostly red." Realizing that Ant might not know what a ruby was, he explained. "Rubies are red stones, like diamonds but red."

  Ken had named them. Phillip didn't think fish needed names, but Ken had scoffed, "What are you planning to call them, 'hey, you'?"

  "I wasn't going to call them at all. They're fish."

  Ken pointed an accusing finger at him. "And you're a cold fish. Instead of something warm-blooded and cuddly like a puppy or a boyfriend, you got yourself fish. The least you can do is name them."

  Actually the best Phillip could do was to let Ken name them.

  Ken narrowed his eyes at each fish and decided. "I'm calling this one Ruby and this one Bee. There. Was that so hard?"

  Now Ant watched them mesmerized. "Can I play with them?" he asked, turning his big blue eyes to Phillip expectantly.

  As Zoe laughed, Phillip wondered what exactly he had in mind. Whatever it was, he decided to make the rules clear. "No. They are not the kind of pets you play with. You can look at them and talk to them."

  "Like flowers," Ant said. "Bernie used to talk to her flowers because flowers need love to grow."

  "Bernie?" Phillip said,
remembering that Lilly mentioned the name.

  "That's a friend of Lilly's," Zoe explained. "She went into a nursing home after a stroke laid her up."

  "I miss Bernie," Ant said and looked sad.

  Phillip didn't want him to start missing Lilly too so he asked. "Do you two want to see the rest of the apartment?"

  Ant wasn't too interested, but Zoe agreed.

  Considering that his place was "decorated like a morgue", according to Ken, Ant's lack of interest wasn't surprising. Zoe was another matter. She had whistled when they parked in front of the imposing building, once more in the lobby and also when they walked into the apartment. Now she eagerly went poking around. Leaving Ant to the company of fish, Phillip took her on a tour of the place.

  "Aren't you too young to be someone's rich uncle?" she asked him as she admired his kitchen.

  "I wouldn't call myself rich."

  "Rich people never do," she said.

  "Still, other than the fish tank, I'm afraid this place isn't to Ant's liking." Phillip was a little worried about that since the plan was for Ant to stay with him.

  "Give him twenty, thirty years. He'll love it," Zoe predicted.

  She might be right about that, but the current, three-year-old Ant would probably prefer brighter colors and something other than gloomy, black and white art photography on the walls.

  Phillip grumbled at everything he saw and liked just fine until now then he showed Zoe the room where Ant would be staying. It was a guest room in name only. No one had ever stayed there. While Zoe eyed the room's simple but high end black furniture and nodded, Phillip looked at the room and frowned. He would have to do something to brighten it up for Ant.

  While making plans for the room, Phillip got some basic information from Zoe. He asked if Ant went to preschool or daycare. He didn't. Phillip also wanted to find out about Ant's mother and what happened to her. Ant was in the living room, preoccupied with the fish, so they could talk undisturbed.

  As they stood in the doorway of the guest room, he asked Zoe about Ant's mother. Phillip explained why he was asking her. "I wanted to talk to Lilly about her great-niece, but now that she isn't well, I don't want to burden her. I thought it might be difficult for her to talk about Joan. Can you tell me what happened to her?"

  "What Lilly was afraid of, that's what happened. Joan overdosed a little less than a year ago. Before that, she stayed with Lilly off and on. After she had Ant, she left him with Lilly while she disappeared for weeks." Zoe sighed. "Then one time she didn't come back. Lilly was always the one taking care of Ant anyway. She took good care of him, but she's so old and she isn't well. Her eyes are failing her. You see how she can't get her pills right. With her health, Lilly really should be in a nursing home."

  "She doesn't want to go," Phillip guessed.

  Zoe nodded. "She doesn't want to leave Ant and have him go into foster care. She's afraid of what will happen to him, where he'll end up. But he has you now."

  "I'll make sure Lilly has nothing to worry about," Phillip said as they took one last look around the minimalist guest room. "And I'll make this place more homey for Ant's visit."

  "That fish tank of yours won him over," Zoe said as they headed back to the living room. Ant wasn't there though. Zoe's phone rang and Phillip left her to go in search of Ant.

  Phillip found him standing at the door to his office, looking in. At first he didn't know why. Then he remembered the gifts he bought were in there.

  Last night he had lined them up on the sofa in his office and agonized over which two he should give Ant first. He had never taken so long to make a decision in his life. That's because Tony's son was more important to him than anything. When he first met Ant, it was so unexpected. Phillip hadn't been prepared for their meeting at all. The next time he wanted to make a good second impression. But with Lilly in the hospital, things didn't quite work out like he planned.

  Ant looked up at him as he came over. "Is there another kid?" he asked seeing the toys set up on the leather sofa in the office.

  "Another kid? No," Phillip told him. "Those are for you. I was going to give them to you tomorrow."

  Ant made a surprised noise. Phillip smiled at him and brought him into his office.

  "You can open two of them now," Phillip said since that had been his plan for the next time he saw him.

  Much like his uncle, Ant took forever to decide which two should go first. Finally he made his pick.

  "Just remember that those others are yours too, and they'll be waiting here for you," Phillip told him.

  Hanging up her phone, Zoe came over. She was ready to head home. On the way out, Ant said a long goodbye to the fish.

  Since Zoe's boyfriend wasn't coming by until the day after tomorrow, Phillip drove both her and Ant back to her place. He arranged to pick up Ant before her boyfriend arrived. He would first take him to visit Lilly then bring him to his place. As much as he worried about it, Phillip also looked forward to spending time with Ant.

  During the drive, Zoe called Lilly and told her about Phillip's apartment. She didn't mention anything about it looking like a morgue. She only had good things to say before she let Lilly talk to Ant for a while and hear all about the fish and the toys.

  In Danning, they stopped at her cousin's place first. It was an even worse building than the one where Ant lived. Philip could see cardboard closing off one window. He certainly hoped Zoe's cousin didn't live there.

  As Zoe got out of the car, Phillip stopped her. "Should I give you some money to give to your cousin for her help?" Seeing where she lived, he figured she could use a little extra money.

  Zoe waved her hand. "Oh, no need for that. She owes me for babysitting her brats."

  "I'd really like to," Phillip said. He knew neither Zoe nor her cousin could afford to refuse his money.

  "It would be weird to pay my cousin for babysitting," Zoe said and went in to get her baby.

  In front of her place, Phillip got out along with her and Ant. She had her baby in a carrier and she was sleeping.

  "It's good of you to take care of Ant considering you have your hands full with your own baby," Phillip told Zoe as he walked her to her door.

  "She isn't too much trouble, and Ant isn't either. He's such a quiet little thing." She looked over at him where he was peering into the mailboxes.

  "Would it be weird if I offered to pay you for babysitting him? I'm not your cousin after all," Phillip asked as Zoe walked over to get her mail.

  "As long as you're taking care of Ant and looking out for Lilly, it's all good. It's not like I'm feeding him lobster. I can afford an extra helping of mac and cheese," Zoe said.

  "Mac and cheese?" Ant said, overhearing her.

  "That's what's for dinner," Zoe told him and he looked overjoyed.

  Phillip wondered if he could make him smile that easily.

  "Please accept this." Phillip handed Zoe some money as she started to head inside. Seeing she was about to refuse again, he told her, "It's not for you. It's for the baby, for inconveniencing her."

  With a raised eyebrow and a shake of her head, Zoe took his money. "This is too much," she protested and tried to give it back.

  "The baby isn't complaining," Phillip said looking down at her peaceful expression.

  Zoe gave up and pocketed the money. Now it was time to leave Ant, and Phillip found it so hard to go to his car and drive away. To give himself a push, he went over everything he had to do to make his place suitable for Ant. Phillip kneeled in front of him. "I'll see you soon," he promised.

  Ant nodded in agreement. "Bye, Uncle Phillip!" he yelled after him.

  As he pulled out of the parking lot, he saw Ant standing on the front steps and waving for as long as he was in sight.

  Chapter 10

  As soon as he got to the office the next day, Phillip continued what he had spent half the night trying to do. He wanted to transform his apartment for Ant, or at least the guest room. It was more than he needed to do just for a visi
t, but he wanted Ant to like it and feel comfortable. In the future, when Lilly was better, he hoped Ant would visit him often.

  He had been looking at colorful, cartoonish furnishings until his eyes hurt, and he was ready to keep doing it. If it meant spending time with his newfound nephew, he would turn his whole apartment into a playground. That might have been overly ambitious since he could hardly manage to furnish one room to a child's liking.

  He was still stuck on picking out a bed. There were beds with slides, beds shaped like spaceships and pirate ships, log cabins, castles, school busses and locomotives. So many were shaped like racecars, but Phillip certainly wasn't getting Ant one of those.

  While Phillip struggled with too many choices, Leon brought in his mail and let him know that McCain needed him to sign off on the final updates to a proposal.

  "I'll have it for him. I think I should at least pretend that I work here. Right now I'm trying to choose the perfect bed for a little boy," Phillip told him.

  "How is it going?"

  "It's all a big blur. I'm trying to think back to when I was three. That's an even bigger blur. Ken told me that he doesn't believe I was ever a child. He said I was born as a thirty-year-old in a suit."

  "You're thirty?" Leon asked, looking at him appraisingly.

  "No. I'm twenty-seven," Phillip said defensively. "And when Ken said that, I was twenty-three."

  "I see. Don't listen to Ken. Just trust your instincts and good luck. I need to get back to emailing Mrs. Lahari some more spreadsheets. I think I'm really working for her these days," Leon said as he left.

  It was true. Leon spent more time assisting her than he did Phillip. He had cut back on his appointments so he could get ready for Ant's visit and also so he would be available in case he or Lilly needed anything. He had to be able to drop everything on a moment's notice.

  With his priorities turned upside down, he was no longer the man to handle the company's most important clients. At most he could supervise and advise. Phillip was surprised that he had no qualms about that. Work just couldn't compare to the immense joy of finding Tony's son, a child he wasn't sure even existed. It was like his ambition simply evaporated in the face of a curly haired little boy in his life.