by Dora Bramden
“Let me help you.”
Footsteps on timber struck louder as he covered the length of the room in mere seconds. She struggled. Her pulse stuttered. Heat flooded her throat and rose to her face. He took the scarf from her and pulled it up over her head and tossed it aside. His hands grabbed her. Tingles shot up her arms. Her fingers instinctively curled around his warm palms and locked on.
His mouth met hers and she sighed into his warmth. His tongue claimed hers and desire ran along every nerve, lighting up dark places. Her pulse beat thickly in her throat.
She slumped against him. His firm body took her weight. He let go of one hand and curved his arm around her, bracing her against him. Her fingers rumpled his hair, desperate to feel that he was really here in her arms and not some teasing apparition.
His aftershave, woodsy and clean, enveloped her and he deepened his kiss and claimed her whole mouth. It could well have been her soul because she lost herself in it. She was his and there was nothing she wanted to do about that. Her breath was filled with Alessandro, her body craved his.
She locked her forearm around his neck and squeezed.
He’s here for me, a quiet voice whispered in the recesses of her mind.
When he released her she swayed, panting.
“You’re here?” was all she could say. Happiness tingled everywhere in her body. It seemed dumb now that the words were out, because she hadn’t known how to end it. You’re here, for how long? Are you here, for Alex? Are you here for me too? It was the last one that had tripped her up and silenced her.
“Yes, and I need you to come with me.” He tugged on her hand.
“What. Wait. Where?” She forced her fingers to let go and broke free of his grip.
He turned. “Just to the car, someone wants to see you.”
“Who?”
“Mamma.”
“She wants to convince me to bring Alex back to Italy, doesn’t she?” She would deal with it, no more running.
“No she has made other plans. But let her tell you.”
“Why don’t you tell me? I have to change out of my rehearsal clothes anyway.”
“I want her to tell you because you won’t believe me. I know I hurt you with the appearance of my indifference for two years. But the day you left me I lost everything that really mattered to me. Pride and pain kept me silent when I should have been a text pest demanding that you let me back into your life.”
“You must miss Alex. I believe you love him very much.”
He paced up and down as she slid into her training pants and changed her ballet shoes for flats. Sliding her arms into a kimono and she was ready.
“If I had the ability to turn back the clock and change what I said and did to you that night, I would do it.”
“It’s okay. I get it.” She picked up the heavy training bags but he took them from her.
“No you don’t. But you will.”
A long black shiny car was pulled up to the curb. The back door rested open.
“Buon giorno, bella,” said Mamma Rinaldo. She smiled as though she’d just got the right answer to a difficult question.
“Ciao, Cristina,” said Katrina.
“Call me Mamma, please. We’ve moved to Australia. Isn’t it wonderful?”
“Just you on your own?”
“No, Maria and Alessandro too. Well for three months initially, the immigration paperwork is being processed but we think it should be approved.”
“I’ve bought a house for Mamma and Maria to live in when in Australia.”
Mamma Rinaldo wagged a finger at the pair of them. “I’m not going to spend the time I have left alone in that mansion. I want to be near my grandson.”
It was wonderful that Mamma Rinaldo was so happy and would be nearby for Alex to visit. Did this mean Alessandro was ready to be a father who cared about the boy’s mother?
“Alessandro. What about the F1 championship. Are you going to try and keep that up with a base in Australia?”
“No, I’m not. I’m retiring; it will be in the papers very soon. The team will break in a new driver ready for the next season. I’ve withdrawn from this year’s competition.”
“But you love racing.” Racing had always come first with him. Like her dancing had been first for her, until Alex came along. Was it possible that getting to know Alex had changed Alessandro’s priorities?
“I want to see my son grow up. I’m going to break the family tradition and die an old man with my grandchildren around me.”
“Won’t you miss it, the thrill, and the challenge?”
“I won’t miss racing but I want to stay part of the team. Engineering the car designs as I’ve done in the past is what I love doing most. Racing cars around a track kept me from feeling but I can’t keep those feelings buried anymore. I don’t crave it like I used to. You’ve changed that. I love Alex and want to be there for him as he grows up. But I hope I can be with you too. I want to be with you, mia cara sposa.”
“I want to believe you but it’s hard for me.”
“I know, I have some explaining to do. You see, Papà taught me that success on the racetrack made you a man. The smell of oil the roar of engines is what I remember of being with Papà. Uncle is right about one thing. Being a man means more than racing cars. It will always come second place now.” He looked up and down the road. “We’re on the street. What I have to say should be private.”
“Do you want to come back inside?”
“Un momento.” He strode over to the driver side of the stretch limousine and issued some instructions to the driver and conversed in Italian with his mother.
“See you soon, Katrina,” she called.
“Sì, soon,” Alessandro said and closed the car door. The driver eased away from the curb.
“Can I come home with you? Did you drive today?”
Her heart hoped that this was the change she wished for in Alessandro but she’d been disappointed in the past. She needed to ask more questions and it seemed he was finally ready to answer them. “Yes, come back to my place. We should talk, and you can visit with Alex.”
The sun was setting and the shadows ranged long over the inner Melbourne roads. She clicked on the blinker at the end of her street. She couldn’t get home soon enough. Alessandro’s presence beside her was weakening her resolve. She needed to get the width of the room between them or she’d fling herself on him and kiss him. She’d missed him so much after leaving Italy. She had to remember that this was the man who she suspected of trying to take Alex away from her, but, not now. Now he’d decided to follow her. Wasn’t that what she’d always wanted?
Inside she put on the lights. Janet would be bringing Alex back soon. She would have seen them drive up.
“Bella, I have to tell you something. You asked me in Italy about the time a woman made a mistake about me being the father of her baby.”
“I remember. Are you ready to talk about that now?”
“Sì, I realize that event has shaped my actions. You, I think, suspected it had affected me but I didn’t want to deal with the emotions it brought up. I think that’s why I left when I did to meet the officials about the fuel system. I could have handled that from Milano.”
“I felt like it was another part of you that you didn’t want to share with me.”
“No, I didn’t want to think about it myself. I wasn’t ready to face the truth but now I am. Let me just tell you what happened. She had the baby and I was there, at the birth. I loved the boy immediately. I was prepared to marry her. I would have, even though I didn’t love her. For the child I would have.”
“I get it. Same as what you want to do for Alex. But I want more than that. I want to be loved for myself.”
“I know. You should be. That’s the point, you aren’t her. I didn’t love her, but I love you. I always did but didn’t want to admit that to myself. If I loved you, I would be open to terrible pain if you went away. I wouldn’t be able to race. I would lose my edge. When my b
aby boy turned out to be another man’s child, it was like he died. I never wanted to feel that pain again. I never wanted to have another child because I didn’t want to be hurt again if I lost it.”
“So when I took Alex away, it felt like it was happening again.” No wonder he’d been desperate when she left Italy with Alex. “But, I told you I won’t keep him from you.”
“You don’t understand. I locked my emotions away, all of them. I refused to love anything. First, my Dad died when I was ten, then eight years later; losing the baby who wasn’t my son silenced my heart. At least I told myself it did. When you left two years ago, I couldn’t look at your text messages. I thought they would be goodbye messages, saying that you didn’t love me. I couldn’t read that. I’d feel too much. If I faced the pain of losing you I would bring up the rest of it also. That why I distracted myself and focused on the next race.
“But when you left me this last time, at the airport, I was devastated. Not just for Alex. I’d lost the love of my life. The woman I adore. The woman I’d do anything for. Yes, anything.” He took her hands and crushed them against his chest.
“I love and adore you, Katrina. Please be my wife.”
His words rang truer than anything ever had before. Tiny shivers raced up and down her body until she shook all over. Her chest filled with warmth and obliterated the empty cold place that had been there for two long years. He loved her.
Laughter and tears flowed at the same time. She pulled her hands free and slammed against his chest. Her arms reached around his neck. He hugged her so tight; the air whooshed from her lungs.
“I’ve always loved you, Katrina. I always will, I’ll never leave you again.”
He kissed the top of her head, her forehead, and her mouth. He squeezed her tight, and she hugged him with all her strength as if to show him how much she cared.
Janet knocked on the back door.
“Papà,” Alex called. They turned as one in time to see Janet set him on the floor. He toddled over and threw his arms around their legs. Alessandro picked him up. Katrina kissed Alex and hugged them both. Her heart was full. Now she had the family for Alex that she always wanted; a family that loved and wanted her too.
If you enjoyed this book you might like to read Katrina’s sister, Natalie’s story in ‘The Scottish Billionaire’s Secret Lover’. You can find details on Dora’s website, www.dorabramden.com/books’