Confessions

by Sasha Campbell

  “I didn’t dump you on Valentine’s Day.”

  “Look, let’s not go there again.”

  There was a pause. “Are you and this man still together?”

  I quickly answered. “No, I ended it right after it got started. I was hurting.”

  “So because you were hurting you found comfort with another man?”

  “What was I supposed to do…sit around and hope you changed your mind and took me back? You dumped me on Valentine’s Day!” I was yelling now because I was angry. I had put everything into making our marriage work and this was how he wanted to treat me. I deserved better. “I thought we were past this. I thought we were leaving the past behind and starting fresh.”

  “We are, but we can’t do that until we put everything out there on the table. Honesty is important. If I can’t trust you, then we don’t have anything.”

  My heart was pounding so hard my chest hurt. “What makes you think I’m not being honest with you now?”

  He sighed. “I just don’t know. I’ll probably never know.”

  “Leon, I’ve changed since we’ve gotten back together.”

  “How do I know that? How do I know you’re still not messing around with that dude? Do you know how it makes me feel to know some other man has been fucking my wife?”

  “I know good and damn well the way you like to screw you haven’t always been faithful!”

  He forced a laugh. “That’s the difference between you and me. I take my marriage vows seriously.”

  I gripped the receiver and dropped my head. “Baby, I made a mistake. I’m sorry.”

  “And what about the men in Chicago and Dallas?”

  “I don’t know where that shit came from, because that’s definitely a lie.” Hell, this was one time I wasn’t lying. I used to date a dude in Chicago, but that was many moons ago. There was a long silence, and the hairs at the nape of my neck curled. I don’t think I’d ever been so scared in my life. “So now what do we do?” I asked.

  “I don’t know. Knowing you slept with someone else, I need some time to think.”

  I wasn’t going to beg. I couldn’t. I had given everything I had to my marriage. I just didn’t have anything left to give. “Okay. But before you hang up I just want you to know I love you. I never realized how much until after we split up, but I know now and I am willing…” My voice broke. I took a breath trying to hold on. “I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make things work.” I didn’t even wait to see if he told me he loved me. I couldn’t handle it if he hadn’t. I hung up the phone and fell to the floor and cried like a baby. Someone was out to get me, and I was determined to find out who it was.

  45

  Nikki

  Trinette came barging into my office at the back of the store. I had just gotten back from New York yesterday and hadn’t even called to tell her I was back. I was ready to cuss her ass out when I saw the look of panic on her face. “What happen to you?”

  She flopped down on the couch, and it was several seconds before she finally found the words to speak. “Leon dumped me.”

  “Again! I mean…why? Why did he dump you this time?”

  Her eyes snapped to me and I saw the pain. “Someone from St. Louis took the time to find his address and send him a letter telling him about everything I’ve been doing.”

  “What?” I couldn’t believe that shit. Someone had finally told on her. “How did you find out?”

  “Leon called and read the letter to me, then he told me it was over.”

  “Oh, no! Who would do something like that?”

  She shook her head. “It could be anyone. It could be Jay’s girlfriend. It could be this girl named Cimon. I was messing with her daddy.”

  “You had you a big daddy, huh?”

  She ignored my attempt to make light of the situation. “I wouldn’t be surprised if it was Maureen. I think she caught me coming out of the motel with her husband a couple of weeks ago. Whoever the bitch was, she tried to run me over.”

  “Whoa! Slow your roll! You were at a motel with her husband?”

  “Yeah, but—”

  “Uh-uh. No buts. I thought you said you were committed to your marriage and you were gonna do everything in your power to make your marriage work.”

  “I am.”

  “Then why the fuck were you in a motel room with someone else’s husband?”

  She knew she was wrong. I could tell by the look on her face. “I don’t know why I went, but once I got there I changed my mind and left.”

  Did she really think I was stupid enough to believe her? “You are so full of crap.”

  “Nikki, I’m serious. I had no intentions of screwing, but he said he had a surprise for me and I was curious what it was.”

  “Well, let’s see…if you were meeting him at a motel, it’s quite obvious what his surprise was. How about some dick!”

  She shook her head. “It wasn’t like that.”

  I rose. “You know what, I am so sick of your shit! You have me feeling sorry for your ass, but you haven’t changed. You’re never gonna change. I’ve got enough problems dealing with Kenyon.” I turned around and walked out my office. Trinette came to the wrong place if she was looking for sympathy.

  “Nikki, you tripping,” she called after me.

  Swinging around, I faced her. “No, you tripped. Leon is a damn good man, and he doesn’t deserve this. You’re my girl, but I’m tired of your shit and I’m not gonna lie to you. The only person who can help you is yourself. You got yourself in this mess and you’ll have to get yourself out.”

  Trinette looked so lost sitting there on my couch. “I don’t know how.”

  I’d never heard her sound so defeated before, but I wasn’t about to feel sorry for her. I’d humored her enough over the years. “You’ll have to figure that out yourself. Oh, and one more thing, watch your back. Someone is out to get you, and it’s probably someone close to you.”

  46

  Trinette

  Lying in bed at night, all I could think about was Leon and how lonely I was. It wasn’t fair. I tried to do everything right, and what had it gotten me—heartache.

  Someone was out to get me. They had slashed my tires. Wrote on my glass. Thrown a brick through my windshield and followed my ass around town. But the worst thing of all was the letter to my husband.

  Someone wanted revenge, and I needed to find out who that person was. One thing for sure, whoever it was knew enough about me to share my past with Leon. The only person I told my personal business to was Nikki, but I knew she wouldn’t do no shit like that. There were my brothers, but they would never hate on me either.

  I forced myself to go to work when what I wanted to do was lie in bed and never get up. I buried myself in my work. Then four days after my heartbreak, Yolanda moved out onto the floor and asked for everyone’s attention.

  “I would like to announce the name of our new director. Let’s give a round of applause to Maureen.”

  Everyone started clapping. Several looked over in my direction, waiting to see my reaction. I thought it was going to hurt, hearing she got the job that was supposed to have been mine, but it didn’t. That job didn’t even matter to me anymore. Even though Leon and I were no longer together, I still didn’t want it.

  Maureen looked over at me and gave me a triumphant smile. That bitch had no idea the only reason why she had gotten the job was because I had turned it down. I waited until Patricia had gone to lunch before I went over to Maureen and congratulated her.

  She looked surprised. “Uh…thanks.”

  I leaned against her desk, arms crossed, watching her eyes as I asked, “How’s things with you and Michael?”

  “Fabulous. Why?”

  I shrugged. “Well, a couple of weeks ago, you were worried about him mess—”

  “I’ve taken care of that problem,” she replied, quickly cutting me off.

  My brow rose. “Oh, really, and how’s that?”

  “That’s personal an
d none of your business.”

  “Come on, tell me. What did you do, slash her tires? Send her husband a letter?”

  Her eyes widened. “She has a husband? Do you know something I don’t?” she added with a confused look.

  I laughed and moved toward her. “I don’t know. You tell me.” It finally dawned on me, Maureen was too dumb to do any of those things. She wasn’t anywhere near as smart as I had originally thought.

  “Trinette, I have no idea what you’re talking about. If I’m going to be your boss, you’re going to have to understand I can’t share my personal life with you anymore. What would it look like, me hanging with the support staff?”

  Leaning forward, I whispered for her ears only, “I guess that means you won’t be hanging out with Chuck anymore either.” Maureen’s eyes grew wide with fear. All I could do was smile. “Don’t get the shit twisted. The only reason why you got the promotion was because I turned it down. If you don’t believe me…ask Yolanda.” Smiling, I moved over to my desk and retrieved my purse. “I’m going to lunch.”

  On the ride over to Harry’s Chicken & Seafood, I thought about Maureen’s behavior. If Michael was messing with someone, it definitely wasn’t me. I thought she was too dumb to be stalking me, but I wasn’t quite ready to take her off my list of suspects.

  I parked and walked into the restaurant and spotted Nikki sitting at a booth in back. “Hey,” I said as I flopped down in the seat across from her.

  “Hello,” she mumbled. She avoided eye contact, so I could tell she was still angry at me. “I went ahead and ordered.”

  “Thanks.” I cleared my throat. “Look…I asked you here because I wanted to apologize. I’m really sorry, Nikki. You’re right. All I’ve ever done is fuck around on Leon, and no, I don’t deserve to get my husband back.”

  Her eyes met mine. “I wouldn’t take it that far.”

  I shook my head. “No, it’s true. I used up all my chances living dangerously on the edge. I love having power over men. I like knowing I can be the richest bitch in St. Louis by using the power of my own pussy. It’s sad but true.”

  “I heard your coochie ain’t all that,” she teased.

  “Then whoever you were talking to lied. ’Cause this shit is dripping in gold.”

  She laughed, and despite my jacked-up life I joined in. “Listen, I’ve lost everything else in my life, but I can’t lose you, too. You’re my best friend, and I don’t know how you have put up with me all these years, but one thing I know is your friendship means the world to me.”

  “I love you too, Netta. I’ve learned a long time ago, you are who you are. And I can either be one of those people who loves you or one of those who hates you. I decided just to let most of your shit go in one ear and out the other, and I love you regardless.”

  I stuck my tongue out at her, but inside I felt so good. Nikki was a sister to me, and whenever everything else in my life was going wrong, it was a relief to know she was still there.

  As soon as the waitress left after delivering our drinks, Nikki looked over at me and asked, “Have you found out yet if that man’s wife is stalking you?”

  Shaking my head, I took a sip of my drink. “Nope. I think she might be a little too naive to step to me like that. What’s even worse is, she’s now my new boss.”

  “Ouch! I guess that means she got the director’s position.” When I nodded she added, “How do you feel about that?”

  “I really feel better than I thought. I hate the fact she got it and that seems to be the only thing that pisses me off, but other than that, I would take Leon over that job any day.”

  “I sure hope the two of you can get back together.”

  I shrugged and wasn’t about to put much stock in that thought at that point. “Maybe one of these days, but I need to get my head on right first.”

  Nikki gave me a weird look, then reached across the table and placed her palm to my forehead. “You feeling okay?”

  Laughing, I slapped her hand away. “I’m feeling fine. Probably better than I have in a long time. Graduation is right around the corner, and after that…well…I don’t know, but at least I have options, and it’s definitely time for me to try doing things a little different.”

  Nikki nodded, then reached for her glass.

  “Have you heard from Kenyon?” I asked. Her stalker cracked me up.

  She frowned at the mention of his name. “No, not even an e-mail in over a week, thank God. Hopefully, the ex parte scared his ass.”

  “I can’t believe he showed up in New York! Maybe that psycho has found him someone else.”

  “Let’s hope so.” She took another sip, then smiled over at me. “I’ve got some good news.”

  “What?” Whatever it was had her eyes dancing with excitement.

  “Donovan’s coming home in two weeks.”

  “You’re serious?”

  She started nodding her head as a tear rolled down her cheek. “I’m so happy.”

  I winked at her. “I’m happy for you.”

  “This will be our time to start over fresh. I want us to work. I’m ready to have another baby.”

  My eyes grew wide. “What?”

  Nikki drew in a shaky breath. “I’m serious, Trinette. I think I’ve mourned over Mimi long enough. She’s gone, but I’m not, and I need to start living again.”

  “Good for you,” I said, giving her a high five.

  “I’ve already stopped taking my birth control pills.” Something over my shoulder grabbed her attention. Nikki leaned in close. “Netta, there’s Jay.”

  I swung around on my seat and sure enough, there his fine ass was. “I’ll be right back.” I rose and sashayed my hips in a slamming Vera Wang dress up to the cashier and tapped him lightly on the shoulder. He looked surprised to see me.

  “Hey, Netta…uh…whassup?” His eyes darted all around, acting nervous as hell.

  “I should be asking you that.”

  “I’ve…uh, been meaning to call and talk to you,” he shot back.

  I quirked a perfectly arched eyebrow. “Oh, really, about what?”

  Just then his baby mama Ronnie came over and pushed up close to her man. “Hey, Trinette. Whassup, girl?”

  I looked her dead in the eye to see if there was any indication she knew about me and Jay. To my relief, her smile looked genuine. Jay looked relieved as well.

  “I should be asking you,” I replied, pointing to her stomach. She had to be at least five or six months pregnant. So that’s what Jay been meaning to talk to me about.

  “’Bout to have another baby by this fool here,” she said, smiling as she spoke. “But at least he finally made it official.” She held out her hand, wiggling her ring. I glanced up at Jay with my brow raised with a look of amusement. I guessed he’d been meaning to talk to me about that as well. He finally decided to marry Ronnie.

  “Wow!” Her ring was maybe a half carat at its best. Jay is such a cheap ass! “It’s gorgeous,” I lied. Then I couldn’t help it. “Look what my hubby got me.” I held out my hand and showed her mine.

  “Daaayum! Now that’s a ring,” she replied, then rolled her eyes in Jay’s direction. I guaranteed he’d be back at the jewelry store the next day.

  I winked at him. “I’m happy for both of you.” And I was. I thought I would be hurt to know Jay had chosen another woman over me, but the truth of the matter is, I never wanted Jay, but I didn’t used to want him with anyone else either. But now I no longer felt that way.

  He looked relieved. I guess he was expecting me to show my ass. “Thanks, Netta,” he replied, then glanced over to my booth. “Is that Nikki sitting with you?”

  I nodded. “Yep.”

  “Do you know if she’s heard from Kenyon? I’ve been trying to reach him all week and he hasn’t been answering his phone or been at work.”

  “Puhleeze, she put an ex parte on that stalker! Ever since his daughter’s car accident, he started acting crazy.”

  Jay gave me a weird look. “
Daughter? Kenyon’s daughter died of crib death when she was three months old.”

  Hell, nah! My mouth was wide open. This story got better every day. All of a sudden I started laughing hysterically and dragging Jay over to Nikki at the same time. “Nikki, giiirrrl, you’ve got to hear this.”

  47

  Nikki

  “I am so happy for you,” Trinette replied. I knew it was hard for her to be happy for me when her marriage was in a shambles, but it showed she was a true friend. “We need to go out and get you new luggage. Something pink.”

  I frowned. “You know I’m not about to go to the airport with some loud-ass pink suitcases.” I started laughing and she joined in. At least she was laughing.

  Trinette suggested meeting for lunch when I had called her that morning to tell her Donovan was back in the states and I was flying to meet him in Miami on Friday. We’d decided to go on a second honeymoon and start our new life off fresh. I had no problem with that. I definitely needed to get away. It had been two weeks since I discovered the truth about Kenyon’s daughter. He was still acting psycho, calling my phone all hours of the night. Anonymously, of course. Otherwise he’d have been violating the terms of his ex parte and I’d have him arrested. The man wasn’t stupid. Just psycho.

  I glanced down at my watch. “I guess we better get outta here. You’ve been gone for lunch long enough.”

  “Nikki, I am not worried about Maureen, trust me.” She gave me a look that said there was a lot more to that story. I decided to save that tale for another day when I’d time to spare.

  “I really wanna get to JCPenney and do some shopping,” I suggested.

  “Okay, I’ll go with you.”

  My head whipped around. “Are you feeling well?”

  Trinette gave me a weird look and laughed. “Why you say that?”

  “Because you don’t shop at Penney’s, remember?”

  She shrugged. “I guess it’s time for me to accept I’m not rich and the clothes at JCPenney are cute and at least it’s affordable.”