Beyond Hope's Ridge

by Silver McKenzie

  ❖

  Buster decided the easiest way to start the conversation with Steph was not to and instead order lunch. He wanted to put it off as long as possible. He could hardly keep his eyes off her. Even in her distress over the shock of what Matt had done, she was gorgeous. Her blonde hair was loose around her shoulders, her cheeks pink from the crisp air, and her eyes bright and radiant as usual. It was hard to believe someone could look so good so effortlessly. She didn’t wear makeup, which he loved about her, dressed very casually, and most importantly, spoke from her heart. She didn’t lace her words with other meanings.

  His thoughts went back to the conversation with Eve. Her comments about him not meaning to let her down and Eve being sure he wouldn’t let her down this time hadn’t gone unnoticed. If she was trying to lay a guilt trip on him, she’d succeeded. But not in a way that would make him suddenly ask her to come back to him. It was the first sign he’d seen of the Eve he’d broken up with three years earlier. He’d been so busy beating himself up about not noticing her postpartum depression and not being there for her that he’d forgotten how nasty she could be. Manipulating situations and, when she didn’t get her way, throwing comments at him that hit like poisonous darts. Sometimes subtle, other times with full force. They’d mostly had a good relationship before Holly’s birth, but when this side of Eve appeared, Buster would generally do his best to keep out of her way.

  After Holly’s birth, it became who she was ninety percent of the time. An angry, bitter person who dealt with her frustrations through alcohol and other men. The subtle digs left her repertoire, and she communicated mainly via screaming and yelling. She made sure Buster knew about every man she cheated with. He hadn’t understood that at the time. Wouldn’t she want to hide her infidelity? It was his lawyer who, during the divorce, looked at him like he was an idiot. “She didn’t hide it because she wanted you to know. She wanted to make you jealous. Get a reaction.” Could she have honestly thought his reaction would be anything other than separation?

  Margie arrived at their table with two steaming bowls of vegetable soup and a board with freshly baked sourdough bread.

  “That smells delicious.” Steph smiled at Margie. “Thank you.”

  Margie returned her smile. “I’m planning to come and try out a class this week, Steph. Any suggestions for which one?”

  Buster could almost hear the cogs turning in Steph’s mind. No doubt she was thinking something along the lines of don’t bother, we’ll be closed.

  “I’m running a beginner's class on Tuesday night,” Steph said. “It’s introducing people to the hot room and most of the Bikram sequence. I’d start there if you’re free. It’s at six.”

  “Great, I’ll see you then.”

  Buster waited until Margie retreated to the counter. “I wasn’t sure what your response was going to be.”

  “Me either,” Steph said. “Anyway, enough about all of that. Let’s talk about you.”

  Buster felt the heat rise in his cheeks. “This is the bit I’ve kind of been dreading. And it’s why you haven’t heard from me all week.”

  Steph raised an eyebrow. “Has something happened?”

  “Something happened before our date last Sunday.” Buster went on to explain that Cora had rung, suggesting Eve was expecting him to take her back.

  Steph’s mouth dropped open as she listened. “Why didn’t you say something?”

  “I couldn’t. She called as I was leaving to drive over to your place. I had thirty minutes between ending the call and arriving to see you. My head was a whir. I had no idea what to think. When I think back now, I realize she’s as good as her daughter when it comes to manipulation.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “She said something along the lines of how I had a chance to make it up to Eve after letting her down so badly.”

  “Not exactly subtle.”

  “She can be very manipulative,” Buster said. “I know she has Eve’s interests at heart, but she just has no idea what it was like being married to her daughter.” He went on to tell her that he’d visited Eve the previous day, and a similar discussion had taken place. “It took me right back to every reason our marriage would never have worked. I appreciate now that the extreme behavior Eve displayed after Holly was born was affected by postpartum depression, but it wasn’t brand new behavior. I’d seen it before and hadn’t liked it. I’m guessing it would have escalated over time, and our marriage might not have survived anyway.”

  “What does this all mean, Buster? I’m glad you’re telling me now what’s going on, but I’m not sure exactly what it means. What are your plans with Eve?”

  “I’ve said I’ll support her application for the appeal and stand by her through that. But that’s all. I haven’t elaborated on what will happen after that, partly because I don’t know.”

  “Does she have any reason to believe the two of you still have a chance to get back together?”

  “I told her I wasn’t willing to commit to starting over.”

  “How did she take that?”

  Buster frowned. “I think she deliberately misinterpreted it. She said something about how she agreed, and there was no rush. That we owed ourselves to take it slowly without pressure.”

  “That doesn’t sound like someone accepting that there’s no chance of reconciling. Did you clarify it with her?”

  He shook his head. “Honestly, I only really worked out what she meant as I was driving home. We do need to take things slowly, even just to rebuild an amicable friendship, but not with anything else in mind. Deep down, I know one hundred percent that she’s not the right woman for me.”

  “But you’re letting her sit in prison, thinking that there is a chance of a relationship?”

  “At the moment, I guess, yes. I’ll be going back again in the next week or two, so I’ll ensure she knows for sure that there’s no chance. It was hard, Steph. The prison is intimidating in itself, and then we only have an hour to talk. She’s good at saying what I want to hear but manipulating the outcome. This might be another example of that. I’m not sure, to be honest. I did tell her about you.”

  “Me? What did you tell her?”

  “Just that I’d met someone who I liked.”

  “I bet that didn’t go down well.”

  Buster gave a sheepish smile. “No, not really. I’m sorry, Steph, I am. What I feel for you is so unexpected and so good. I didn’t anticipate it and haven’t known how to handle it. Only a few weeks back, I told Travis I was leaving the business and moving away from the area. That I needed a fresh start.”

  Steph’s mouth dropped open. “Why?” She seemed to struggle to control the growing anger in her voice. “Why would you start something up with me knowing you were planning on leaving? Why didn’t you just leave our relationship as friends?”

  Pain flooded Buster’s eyes. “I couldn’t, Steph. The attraction to you is too big. How could I walk away from this feeling? I’m not sure I’ve ever felt this way before.”

  “And if things between us went well, were you still planning on moving away?”

  “I have no idea. Things have been moving so quickly in all areas of my life, I hadn’t made any decisions.”

  “But it was still a possibility.”

  “I guess so.”

  “So not only did you not mention the fact that you left Eve believing you’re getting back together, but there’s a strong possibility you’ll leave the area anyway?”

  Buster stared at Steph. Her eyes flashed with anger. He ran a hand through his hair. “I’m not explaining this very well.” That was an understatement. All he was trying to convey was that he was confused and hadn’t had time to sort through his feelings.

  “It makes me angry because even though we hardly know each other, a great part of our discussion at Spicer’s Peak was about being honest. You were dishonest as we were having that conversation.”

  “Not intentionally.”

  “Leaving out the important par
ts of a conversation is dishonest. You left me feeling like there was hope for us, that maybe after everything that’s happened I did deserve some happiness. That we both did.” Steph tore a corner off a piece of bread and dropped it in her soup.

  “We both do deserve happiness. I didn’t want to mention those things when I had no idea how I felt about either of them. But what I said about the attraction to you being too big to pull away from is still true. I mean it, I just haven’t done a good job in showing it.”

  Steph looked up from her soup as if she hadn’t even heard what he’d just said. “I think it’s probably best that we press the pause button on us. We’ve both got so much going on at the moment that trying to make us happen is awful timing.”

  Disappointment settled on Buster’s shoulders. Part of him agreed with Steph, but another part of him had hoped she’d be the one to say they should try to be together regardless of anything happening around them. That they should support each other through the challenges they were up against, that it could only make their relationship stronger. Instead, she was telling him that no, he could do it alone and she didn’t need his help with her situation.

  He scooped a spoonful of soup into his mouth, hoping to disguise his disappointment. Steph had spoken about listening to her gut as far as Matt was concerned and that she should go with it more often. Right now, his head was telling him that he had enough on his plate, and a new relationship was not a good idea. His gut, however, was telling him something completely different.

  ❖

  Steph waited. Was he really going to sit back and eat his soup? Did he really have nothing to say? This was his chance to step up and make it right between them. To acknowledge he’d misled her and to promise it wouldn’t happen again, to reassure her that moving would be the furthest thing from his mind if a relationship was to develop between them.

  She needed to get away from Buster before he saw how angry she was. She was seething. First, there was Matt and his lies, and now there was Buster. It was one thing to not tell her about the phone call from Cora on their date, but it was another to have sat there talking about honesty and being upfront with their issues. The very first time he had the opportunity to show her what type of person he was, he’d failed miserably.

  Steph took a deep breath, pushed her chair back, and stood.

  Buster grabbed her wrist. “Don’t go. I’m sorry, Steph, really I am.”

  She extracted her arm. “Sorry for what exactly?” She needed to hear from him that he understood why she was upset.

  “For the way this has turned out. As I said, I haven’t done a very good job of showing you how I feel.”

  Or a good job of realizing what you’ve done wrong. She did her best to ignore the pain in his eyes. “I’ve got a lot to process regarding Heat Wave and what I’m going to do next.”

  “Steph…”

  She shook her head, refusing to let the anguish in his voice affect her. “I’ll see you around.”

  She turned and left the cafe before any more awkward conversation was exchanged. She crossed over Lake Drive, deciding she’d walk the lake trail and try to clear her head.

  Steph glanced at the food truck where Asha waved and beckoned her over. Steph hesitated. She didn’t want to talk to anyone right now, not even her sister. Yet, she wasn’t given a choice. Asha turned and spoke to someone in the food truck and then walked toward Steph.

  “Can I join you for a walk?” Asha asked. “Orla’s helping me for the next couple of hours, so she can take over. I could use a break.”

  It was tempting to say no, that she wanted to be alone, but Steph knew that would end in a barrage of questions from Asha, so it was easier to say yes.

  They walked in silence to the lake’s edge when Asha stopped and turned to face Steph. “What’s wrong?”

  Steph sighed. “Is it that obvious?”

  Asha gave a small laugh. “I’d normally expect you to ask how I am or what’s going on. To be completely silent suggests something’s wrong. I saw Buster go into the cafe after you’d already arrived. Did something happen?”

  This time Steph couldn’t help but smile. “Are you spying on the cafe?”

  “Definitely. It’s easy enough with the food truck being just across the road from it. I’m keeping track of all of my customers and putting black marks against their names on days I see them go into the cafe but not buy their usual coffee from me. They’re all going to pay.”

  Steph stared at her sister. “You’re not serious…”

  Asha laughed. “Of course not. You should see your face. Orla mentioned she saw you, and then I happened to see Buster’s pickup arrive. I thought he might be coming to chat with me about the pavilion. But then he hurried into the cafe. I assume to see you.”

  “We had lunch together. It didn’t go very well. I told him I wanted to put us on hold. Not that we were really at the stage of an us as yet, but it was heading there very quickly. I think it’s too hard, Ash. He’s got all the baggage with his ex and daughter, and to top it off, she’s now pressuring him to get back together.”

  “Really? Wow, I wasn’t expecting that.”

  “I don’t think he’ll go back to her, but he knew that she was hoping they might try again when we had our date. He didn’t mention it, of course, even though we had a conversation about being open and honest. I can’t go there again.”

  Asha nodded. “No, I can understand that you wouldn’t want a repeat performance of Dylan. But Buster’s situation is different. He told you about his ex today. Only a week’s passed since your date.”

  “He did tell me, but he hasn’t told her there’s no chance of them getting back together. She’s sitting in prison, probably planning her homecoming. I think that’s unfair of him and makes me question whether he’s made his decision about her. Also, he gave Travis notice that he was leaving the business and moving away from Drayson’s Landing.” Steph sighed. “Except for Zane, I think all of the men in this area are worth avoiding. They’re all liars.”

  Asha raised an eyebrow. “That’s very un-Steph like. I don’t think Ryan or Charlie or most of your male yoga clients would appreciate that either.”

  “Lucky I only said it to you, then.” Steph managed a wry laugh. “I didn’t mean it. It’s just Buster and Matt. They’re on the top of my low-life list today.”

  “Matt? He’s not my favorite person, but I thought you were seeing a different side of him, and that he was being decent about Heat Wave. The computer, phone, and even the temporary contract were pretty generous.”

  “That was when he wanted something from me,” Steph said. “But circumstances have changed.” She went on to tell Asha about his decision to use Heat Wave as financial security. “Again, it’s not what happened that I have a problem with. It’s the way Matt’s handling it and the fact that he lied outright to me. Why not just tell me the truth to begin with?”

  Asha was shaking her head. “I’d like to kill him. Here we all are being nice, giving him the benefit of the doubt that he’s changed, and he goes and does that. He’s even got Charlie helping him. He’s despicable. As soon as we get back, I’m going to see Charlie. He shouldn’t be helping Matt at all.”

  Steph was about to say no, that Asha shouldn’t get Charlie involved, but changed her mind. Who knew what Matt was really up to in terms of using Charlie? There would be some ulterior motive, that was for sure.

  “What are you going to do now?”

  “I’m not sure. I’ll think about it during the week. Opening a studio is an option, but traveling is too. I might finally do what I always said and take off to India and Southeast Asia. Explore the world and have a break from this place and all that goes with it.”

  Asha put an arm around her older sister. “I’ll miss you if you do decide to go.”

  “Me too,” Steph said. As they continued walking around the lake, she realized that right now, Asha, Zane, and her parents were all she would miss if she did leave Hope’s Ridge.

  �
�

  Buster hardly remembered the drive back to Drayson’s Landing. He was bitterly disappointed. He knew he wasn’t exactly a catch with his baggage, but he thought Steph understood him and liked him. That they had chemistry worth fighting for. He shook his head. He was crazy. Only weeks earlier, he’d vowed never to go near another woman again. He’d made that vow for a reason. Not so much because of what they were like, but because of what he was like.

  He pulled into his driveway and, for the first time in a very long time, took in his house and garden through the eyes of a stranger. The garden was an overgrown mess, and the front fascia of the house was still only half-painted from fifteen months earlier, when he and Holly had decided it needed a facelift. He’d barely done anything around the place since her death, which on the one hand was understandable, but on the other it needed to stop. He needed to pull himself out of his funk and get his life back together, and he would start now.

  Three hours later, Buster took a beer from the fridge and walked back out to the front garden. It was amazing that he’d been able to transform it so quickly. The lawn was mown, edges done, and he’d cut back the bald cypress trees that had grown out of control. He’d also pulled weeds from the garden beds that bordered the house and tidied up the bed of geraniums Holly had insisted they plant two years earlier. They were flowering beautifully, and Buster realized he should be taking pride in these reminders of his daughter, not letting them grow out of control. The backyard was just as overgrown, but he’d tackle that next weekend. He’d started, and that was what was important.

  He walked back into the house just as his phone rang. He picked it up off the kitchen counter.

  “Henry Busterling?”

  “That’s me.”

  “Henry, my name is Nathan Bromley. I’m your wife’s lawyer.”

  “Ex-wife.”