There was a silence and a low voice—gravelly and hushed. “Come here.”
I did. I stood before him, eyes sneaking peeks at this wings every few seconds. I hoped I was being sly about it, but by the creeping quirk to his mouth, I was sure I wasn’t. “Do you—” he cleared his throat, “want to touch them?”
“Yes!” The word barked out so unexpectedly that my hand actually jumped up to cover my mouth. He swallowed and I could tell he was trying to suppress a full-on grin by the way he forced his lips to set in a slight frown.
“Okay,” he said. “Touch them.” It almost sounded like a challenge. Like he didn’t actually expect me to.
But I did. I reached out and let my fingers drift over the long feathers. I let out a little sigh and Giovanni’s eyes widened suddenly and quickly stepped back. Jarred, I blinked at him. “Did I hurt you?” I asked confused.
He shook his head. I dropped my hand to my side. “I see. I—” Before I could say another word, he stepped back and let his wings stretch out to their full width. I had to lean my head back to see their full expanse. A smile sprawled across my face so wide. Angel’s wings. Was there anything more beautiful than angel’s wings? I reached up to touch them again. They felt like a combination of silk and velvet against my hand. “They are so beautiful.” It was then that I felt the heat on my palm. I hadn’t realized I had done it, but I had placed my hand on Giovanni’s chest to balance as I reached up on my tiptoes to touch his wings. His eyes were staring at my hand, unmoving. I couldn’t even feel the breath pulse in and out of him. I plopped back down on my heels and quickly removed my hand. A small shudder went through his chest before he started breathing again. I didn’t give him the chance to look up at me. I spun on my heel and ran. He had been disgusted that I had touched him, revolted by it. I was a monster and I should be afraid. He would always be there to remind me that. I was a thing. I was dangerous. I was wrong. What had he said? I was a daughter of Hell.
“Jade!” His voice was an echo. I didn’t look back. I kept running; because I didn’t want him to see my glassy eyes and the tears I tried to keep tucked away there.
22
GIOVANNI
Her hand brought a surge of unbridled pleasure rising up to the surface. I was already flushed because of the wonder in her eyes as she looked at my wings. I felt the flutter of touch as she grazed her finger across them, but her hand on my chest... she had done it innocently, not even realizing that she had done it, but I had. The moment her fingers came to rest on my chest, my body let loose a sigh so intense I almost trembled. A hot wanting spread through me and I wanted to wrap my hand around hers, bring her fingertips to my lips, and kiss each one. She had noticed my reaction and left me there, so desperate and rocked that I didn’t quite know what to do. I couldn’t chase her. She didn’t want me to chase her and I wasn’t sure what I would do once I caught up to her. I couldn’t demand her to return. So instead, I turned back towards the expanse of the sky. I had come here to fly, to spread my wings and soar, but with this feeling tickling and expanding in my chest, I felt like I already was. I clenched my jaw and fell to my knees letting my head fall into my hands. I had to get myself together before I went to find her.
You don’t want her. You want Glory. War. Blood. I imagined the General drawing on the angelic runes for battle. I imagined the gauntlet that I would drink from. I imagined the chariot of gold that I would ride on through the city. The name of honor I would bear. Yes, this was what I wanted. Not this... not little hints of uncharted affection. It didn’t hurt to lie in my head, and so I kept lying to myself, over and over again until the only thing that was ablaze in my mind were the tall spires of the Gold City and the armor of gold etched with the symbol of a Phoenix and the Celizas fluttering to my feet.
23
CONNOR
Matt and I walked to his house in silence.. It wasn’t until we were outside his front door that he finally turned toward me. He looked past me to the trees and sky, and then to the parked cars on the street. “Hard to imagine this could all be gone.”
”It doesn’t have to be,” I said. “It won’t be.”
Matt nodded, his eyes still unfocused.
“You have the right pages?”
“Yeah.”
I shifted uncomfortably. “The ritual... I am doing it in three days. On Saturday. During the full moon. Nanan said it is more likely to work on the full moon.”
“Do you want me to go with you?”
I shook my head. “I think this is something I need to do on my own. Just figure out how to separate her from Dejanira. Figure out if it’s possible.”
“I will.” He turned away from me, before saying over his shoulder, “And Connor?”
“Yeah?”
“Maybe you should say goodbye... to your mom.” He chewed on his lip. “In case, you... don’t come back on Saturday.”
Say goodbye. The thought weighed me down for the entire walk home. I dragged my feet coming into the house. When was the last time I had dinner with Mom? Coffee? A few moments just to hug her? I hadn’t. I shut her out. Her and her prying eyes. She didn’t deserve that. I wanted to punch myself for my selfishness. I peeked in the kitchen. Not there. Vegetables were cut up on the counter and the pot was boiling. I raised an eyebrow. “Mom?”
I heard the crackling of a fire... a sound from Dad’s study. I slowly walked to the door and creaked the door open. “Mom?”
Mom sat on her knees in front of the fireplace. She didn’t look up at me.
“Mom... are you okay?”
She didn’t respond. I went and took her shoulders in my hands and shook her. Her dazed eyes slowly searched my face before settling on my eyes. Her eyes were red-rimmed and glossy like she’d been crying.
“Mom... what’s wrong?”
“I’m sorry, darling,” she whispered.
“Sorry? Sorry for what?”
“I couldn’t lose you too.” She pointed into the fire with a shaky breath and I followed her finger.
I bolted upright and lunged for the fireplace, my hands flinging forward to reach and grab. The fire burned my hands and I pulled out a fire poker to drag out the pieces.
One small tattered piece of parchment. One small corner of an entire prophesy.
The texts were gone.
I deflated, falling to my knees.
They were gone.
I didn’t turn around as my mom’s sobs drank up the silence.
24
JADE
I fell under every strike. Giovanni’s sword swiveled and danced in the air and I just barely kept my head attached. Giovanni growled at me, annoyed. “Focus!”
I couldn’t. My brain felt scattered like the leaves. Giovanni roared in frustration before slashing his blade against a tree.
”I don’t want to go to the Seraphim after we get Lynx,” I said, rushing the words out.
“What?”
“I—I want to go back to Louisiana. I want to protect them. I want—”
The blow was quick and fierce and knocked me backwards. “We have to go!”
“Why? What can they really do to help us?”
“And who will you save? You are useless! Your strength comes and goes. You have to go to Heaven!”
“I want to go home.”
“You don’t have one!”
I blinked at him and settled back into the earth. I thought of Nanan’s floral wallpaper and Connor’s room, and the quarry, and even the damn school’s pale yellow walls. I closed my eyes. “Yes I do. And it isn’t in Hell and it isn’t in Heaven. It’s here... with Connor.”
The stillness was deathly silent. When I opened my eyes, Giovanni was gone.
I felt it like a repulsion in my veins. My eyes were open just as I felt cold steel against my throat. Giovanni hadn’t come back after sundown. For only a moment, I wondered whether he came back to continue training. Was he drilling me now?
“Why hello, my little pretty.” Dark brown eyes were inches from my face.
Not Giovanni.
I was pinned down beneath a man, or rather wings; wings like a bat’s had been expanded out like a sail. A demon? I gasped. Giovanni. Where was Giovanni? The man licked my lips in one slow motion. “Hmmm... you taste so sweet.” Definitely a demon. I tried to buck upwards to leverage my weight, desperate to get loose from him. He just laughed at my failed attempted to get free; it rumbled within me. “I may just have my wicked way with you before I plunge this knife into that beautiful beating heart.” There was more laughter from behind him. I tried to scream, but he effortlessly put his hand over my mouth to silence me. “Shhh, shhh, shh. We don’t want that big, strong angel coming back just yet. He won’t let us have any fun at all.” My eyes darted around the demon as his ribbed wings folded behind him. There were four more flanking themhim. Their faces were worn and jarring. They were all shirtless, their wings an expanse of black behind them. Their torsos were sleek and corded with muscle, and swords hung from holsters around their hips. They wore that same disturbing lustful expression that Dominic had once worn and all their attention was focused on me. I shook with fear and repulsion. My movement seemed to make the demon on top of me even more enthralled. He pressed into me and nipped at my ear. I instinctively coiled away from him. He let go of my mouth and grabbed at my hair to keep my head in place just as he rammed his lips against mine forcing them open, his tongue invading my mouth.
Why are you so weak? ... Giovanni’s voice said in my mind.
Why can’t we play? said the dark whisper, creeping into my brain. My tattoo sputtered to life. There was a part of me that wanted to open my legs and wrap them around the demon’s torso... but that was lies. Not me. I blinked. Not me? It was the first time where I noticed the urge as an entity pushing me rather than just my own soul dragging me towards action. The dark seductress inside me wanted these wicked things. Not me. I wanted to be free. I wanted to be strong. Because if I couldn’t save myself, how the hell would I save anyone else? I was not going to be victim to these demons’ vile wanting. They would be victim to me. I bit down hard on the demon’s tongue and I tasted blood in my mouth. He howled as he bucked back. I used all my strength to roll and buck from beneath him. I jumped on top of him and pounded my fists into his face. I could feel the bones crack in my hands but I did not stop. Hands descended down of me, grabbing at my body and hair hauling me off the demon.
He stood up, wiping the blood on his face so that it was a smear on his cheek. “Aren’t you lively?” he said. The demons around me roared with laughter as they poked, prodded and groped my body.
“Leave now and I won’t kill you.” I could feel it slithering in my veins... the need for battle, for bloodshed, for violence. It was like a siren in my ears, but this time, I could use it. This time, it wouldn’t go to waste.
The demon barked out laughter. “Won’t kill me? Do you hear that boys? She won’t kill us. Isn’t she a sweet little kitten?” I could taste the tension in the air, licking at my skin. “What do you want with me?”
Scars trailed over his torso along with a collection of intricate tattoos. He strode over to me as I struggled against the arms holding me. “Oh, well, I…” he paused as the men around me made growling noises, “Oh, I am sorry, we...” he smelled like rot and ash, “want to have our way with you, and then... we will—” He didn’t get to finish his sentence, because in a blue blaze, two swords scissored across his middle and his body split in two. The hands released me and spurred into action. I fell to my knees and landed in the pool of blood where the body laid sprawled out in two. I heaved in a breath and immediately regretted. His blood hissed as it sizzled into the earth. I heard the shouts and grunts a few yards to the side of me. I looked up. Giovanni was a whirl of ferocity. His swords expertly danced in the air in beautiful deft arcs. One other demon was on the ground in pieces, but two were still battling him, axes and swords in hand. I shuffled to my feet. I didn’t have a weapon, and my strength... it wasn’t anything against the two monsters of men. Giovanni didn’t lose a step or get nicked. I didn’t see hesitation or fear strain his face. But one against three... it was too much. He needed help.
You don’t need a weapon. You are a weapon. The whisper was a quiet urging in my mind. I am the weapon. I wanted to cringe, but instead, I looked down at my hands. What had I done with these hands? I had torn a demon into pieces. Giovanni was beginning to tire. I closed my eyes. Feel the energy, feel the void, feel the black essence writhing within them. I did. Like slithering snakes, they uncoiled and licked at me; their bodies oblivious to how their essence could glide away from them. They sensed me as a friend. They responded to the darkness in me. They were wrong. They should be running.
Giovanni saw my approach and gritted his teeth, almost losing his step. “Jade! Get back!”
Mention of me drew the attention of one of the demons and he turned and sprang at me. “Come here, you little bitch!”
Giovanni roared. The moment of distraction forced his hand to slip, and with three quick deft movements, the two demons had disarmed him and he was on his knees staring at the point of a sword. He didn’t look afraid... he looked poised for more action. He would not be executed today. Neither would I.
The demon’s sword soared in an arc past my side and I ducked away. Running straight toward him, I let the wildness in me unleash. I could feel my body shiver as a ripple of power strained against me. I collided with him and clawed my fingers into his gut. Not expecting my attack, he stared wide-eyed as I pumped poison into him. Spidery veins laced across his face just before his body wilted into a pile of ash. I felt it... power whipping around me wanting more. Wanting to be fed. The demons stared at me with wide eyes, unmoving. The two didn’t even have a chance. I reached forward, arms outstretched, palms out and calling. Their shadowy essences flinched away, but couldn’t ignore my command. Once I got my hands clenched around the black tendrils, I squeezed tight and yanked my arms apart; and their bodies went whistling through the air in a wide arc and cracked against the ground, just before being yanked back to the center to hover over us. I held them there. They cowered and begged.
Something caught in my throat. Was this wrong? Was this... something else more powerful plowed through my thoughts, and with a snap, I yanked them back down to collide with the earth in a terrible thud. They were a twist of broken tangled limbs. I heaved in a huge breath and then looked at Giovanni.
A whisper in my mind: one more victory... one more life to make me stronger.
Giovanni must have sensed this, because he stared at me... not afraid, not fearful, but resigned. I looked around at the mess of bodies around us. I stood in the center of a massacre, an ugly massacre. I took in another deep breath. I did this to protect us. I did this to keep us safe. I wouldn’t do it again unless I needed to... I wouldn’t do this simply to make me stronger.
Oh, yes, you will...
I cringed. No, I won’t. I relaxed and let the claws that had grown retract. The shiver of power around me dissipated. “I—I didn’t know what else to do.”
Giovanni stood in a breath and slowly rose to his feet, surveying the area. “You did what you had to,” he said simply. His eyebrows peaked up. “And you did a very thorough job of it.”
Ashamed, I looked at the ground, the small bit that was just green and untouched by red. “I won’t do it again.”
Giovanni took my shoulders. “Don’t be ashamed, Jade. This—this is power. A gift. Think of how many people you could save if you could use this to protect the people you love. We may actually have a chance.”
That small acknowledgment made me smile.
He turned to walk away. “And Jade,” he paused, “thank you for saving my life.”
25
CONNOR
The boat puttered along the swamp. I was sure the motor was going to die on us. I kept imagining the red crocodile eyes staring at us, waiting for their moment. Waiting for their dinner. I gulped down a breath. Nanan sat behind me, her hand on the steering rod.
Looking back at her, she didn’t look like an old lady braving the swamp. She didn’t look out of place at all. She looked like a force within her own element—strong confident lines, determined eyes.
“How much farther?” I asked, embarrassed by my shaking voice.
She heaved in a breath as if it weighed too much. “Soon. We will be there soon.”
The rowboat sputtered along. The tall grass around us closed in, getting closer so that the blades grazed our skin. I didn’t like it. It felt like this was a trap. It felt like we were going to be swallowed up by the grass and left to the crocodiles. It felt like we were about to be torn apart. My chest ached. My fingers tingled. I really like my fingers I, thought. I didn’t want to have to lose them in this swamp. The motor cut off. I jerked toward Nanan. She sat still, her hands in her lap. Her eyelids falling almost shut.
“Nanan.” My whisper sounded more like a hiss. “Did the motor die?”
She just shook her head. “No... no.” She opened her eyes and shuffled towards me, making the rowboat rock. I grabbed onto the sides of the boat and breathed in deeply. She swatted one of my hands away from the side of the boat and pushed my arm over so that she could sit beside me. Her voice was like a bit of wind caught in the air. Soft, melodic, one with every sound around us. A voice of the swamp. She took my hand in hers and traced the lines across my palm. Then, in one quick motion, silver flashed and a tiny slice over my index finger spotted with blood.
“What the hell was that for?”
She didn’t answer. Instead, she took the knife and sliced her own finger. “The river is going to wanna know who comes seeking it. Not gonna show us unless it knows what we want.”
Fire and Shadows (Ashes and Ice #2) Page 7