An Unexpected Christmas

by Lori Jennings

  She shook her head. 'Coffee first, champagne later.'

  I smiled at her answer then turned to my mother who looked from me to April and then back. I watched a slow smile cross her face and then she asked for tea.

  'Coffee for me too please, and be quick!' Ella instructed from across the room. She was holding a wrapped gift close to her ear and shaking it.

  With coffee made as quickly as I could, I passed Ella her mug then April and then settled myself in next to mum on the sofa.

  'Are we ready now?' Ella seemed to be bouncing on the spot where she sat on the floor, she was wearing pyjama bottoms with skiing pandas on and a t-shirt with the words What happens under the mistletoe stays under the mistletoe emblazed in red glitter across the front. Mum nodded to her and I watched as Ella passed her a present with a huge silver bow on it. I chanced a look at April who sent me a small smile. My attention was drawn to the gasps of appreciation and saw that Mum had torn off the snowflake paper and unwrapped a vase from Ella.

  Ella then handed April a box wrapped in the same paper which had an equally huge bow on top. April took it from her and that shy look crossed her face again. 'Shouldn't it be family first?' She shifted in her seat so she was sitting up a little straighter and I noticed she had dressed in the same dark blue pyjamas she wore the other night and my mind flooded with all the things I wanted to do with her.

  'No. Mum goes first then guests.' Ella gestured to April. 'Then Nate and then me. Which is totally unfair.' April laughed at her then dropped her attention to the gift in her lap. I watched as she ripped the paper and pulled out a green scarf and matching gloves. She leaned down and gave her a hug and I wondered what she would think of what I had gotten for her.

  'Thank you it's beautiful.'

  'I thought it would go with your long black coat.' April nodded then Ella reached for another gift and passed it to me. I had learned over the years that I had to unwrap my presents quickly so that Ella could get to hers so I ripped the paper off, dropping the sparkling paper to the floor, and lifted the lid of the box.

  I took out the dark grey wool sweater that sat in bright red tissue paper and pulled it on over my head. 'What do we think?' I smiled at Ella then chanced a look at April.

  She had a small smile on her face and she was biting down on her lip and I really wanted to know what she was thinking. 'It looks good.'

  I grinned at her then turned my attention back to Ella. 'Thanks sis, it's great.'

  She grinned over at me then turned and started rooting under the tree. 'Oh, open the one from me; it's the one with the red paper and the silver bow.' April was pointing to a small box.

  Ella picked it up and tore at the paper like an overexcited five year old. She lifted the lid off the tiny box and a huge smile crossed her face. 'Oh April, it's stunning.'

  'What is it?' Mum asked and scooted forward in her seat. Ella pulled out a short sliver chain and suspended in the middle was her name. 'Oh that's lovely.'

  April smiled as Ella fastened the necklace around her neck then leaned over and gave her a hug. 'Will you pass the one from me to your mum next?' April asked.

  Ella did as April had asked and passed Mum a larger box. We all watched as she carefully unwrapped it and pulled out some sort of bath set and a scarf. Ella ‘oohed’ and ‘aahed’ as Mum draped it around her neck then stood. April lifted herself out of the chair and met Mum half way and I watched as April was enveloped in a hug. I knew Mum liked her and I knew she would be happy to find out about us I just needed April to be okay with people knowing. I didn't understand why she was worried about people finding out, maybe it was not just people we knew but the press and everyone else. Thinking about how my previous relationship had been scrutinised by the media and the fact that most of it was made up made me think that waiting a while might be a good Idea, I was happy to wait for her but I would also be happy to have at least Mum and Ella know about us.

  Mum pressed a kiss to her cheek. 'They are beautiful, thank you so much.'

  'You're welcome. Thank you for sharing your Christmas with me,' she said it quietly, and I saw my mum squeeze her a little tighter.

  They pulled apart and as they sat down Ella passed me a present wrapped in the same red paper. I looked over and grinned at April before ripping the paper off. Lifting the lid I saw there were a few things in the box. I lifted out a book on running trails around London and smiled; this was going to make my usual run around the park much more adventurous. I placed it to one side then grinned as I pulled out a tiny squishy Dax.

  Ella laughed. 'Oh that's brilliant!' She reached over and took it from me and squeezed it, giggling to herself.

  I smiled at April who sent me a shy smile then seemed to hide behind her coffee mug. 'It's for when work stresses you out; you can take out your annoyances on him.'

  I could tell that she had put some thought into what she had bought me and now I only hoped she would see that her gift from me had just as much thought and feeling in it. 'It's great.'

  The next thing I pulled out was a glass wrapped in paper. I unwrapped it and looked at the crystal cut whiskey tumbler which obviously went with the small bottle of scotch that was left in the box. I noticed that there was something etched in the glass and my smile widened as I read it; 'Too much of anything is bad, but too much of good whiskey is barely enough.' I looked back over at her. 'This is perfect.' I put everything, except Dax which Ella seemed to have claimed, back in the box then placed it on the cushion beside me and rose up off the sofa. I crossed the room and held my hand out to her. She placed her mug down then slipped her hand into mine. I tugged and she stood so I could wrap my arms around her. I didn't care what Mum or Ella thought I needed to touch her. 'I love it, thank you.' She snuggled in for a second then pulled away and dropped herself back into her chair whilst I moved back to the sofa, missing her warmth already.

  Ella passed April the present I had gotten for her and I shifted in my seat, it was odd how nervous I felt. I wanted her to like it; I wanted her to be excited about what I had gotten for her.

  'It's not my turn,' April said, but still taking the gift from Ella.

  'I know but I want to see if Nate has gotten you as good a gift.' Ella looked over at me and raised her eyebrows and smiled then turned her attention back to April.

  I watched her take a deep breath then pull at the paper to reveal the book I had chosen for her. She opened the front cover and I held my breath. I had left a note that simply said

  I have something else for you, but you will have to wait until we are alone. X

  I saw the blush cross her cheeks. Ella leaned close to her and April snapped the book closed quickly.

  'What is it?' Ella asked kneeling next to her.

  April smiled at her. 'It's a copy of Persuasion, a very beautiful copy of Persuasion.' I had found a great second hand bookshop a couple of years ago and they could get hold of anything. When I asked for a copy of April's favourite book the guy had shown me a few copies and I had decided on a hardback copy with a pretty floral cover.

  She clutched it to her chest then rose out of her chair, she walked to my side then dropped a quick kiss to my cheek. 'Thank you.'

  I smiled up at her. 'It's your Christmas Carol.' She returned my smile and nodded then moved back to her chair.

  The present opening continued and everyone seemed incredibly happy with their gifts. Finally there was only one thing left under the tree, a small gift bag that Ella reached for then read the tag.

  'Who's it for?' April asked leaning over to get a look.

  'Umm, it's for me.' I noticed that her posture changed. She had sat up a little straighter and then I realised that I recognised the bag. I had seen Roddy with it last night; he must have brought it and left it under the tree for her, the sneaky sod.

  She was really nervous about opening it but when April placed a hand on her shoulder she let out a little sigh and sent her a small smile. She reached in the bag and pulled out a black jewellery box. She took a deep brea
th then opened the box and the smile that spread across her face was priceless. Maybe I would be happy for them to get together if he could make her smile like that.

  Ella slowly lifted a bracelet out and examined it more closely. From where I sat I could see that it was one of those charm bracelets. There was a tiny Christmas present, a tennis racket, a giraffe and a crown. They meant nothing to me but as Ella examined each one in turn I could tell they meant something to her and I suppose that was the most important thing.

  I looked over at April and smiled, hoping that she would think my second gift was as thoughtful and full of love as this one from Roddy was to Ella.

  Shit. I felt my smile widen. I was in love with her. I hadn't thought it was possible to fall this quickly for someone, it had only been a few days, but I was certain that I had fallen in love with her and the only thing left to do was tell her.

  April broke our eye contact and turned back to Ella. 'It's beautiful. I'm so happy for you.' Ella glanced up at her and grinned then turned her attention back to the bracelet. Mum stood and moved over to Ella to get a better look at the gift and I thought that Roddy was a pretty smooth bugger to have gotten something that had all the female attention.

  April stood and still clutching the book she lifted her empty mug and walked out of the room and into the kitchen. I watched her go and there was something about her body language that didn't sit well.

  Chapter Twenty Five

  April

  I walked into the kitchen and placed my empty mug in the sink then looked out of the window at the snow covered garden and hugged my book closer to me. What was I doing? I was acting like this was the beginning of something. That it would continue after tomorrow. That our relationship was anything like Ella and Roddy's, they had a chance and a future. They were perfect for each other. I wasn't good enough for Nate, he deserved someone who would be able to stand next to him at premiers and look the part, someone who was his equal in every way.

  Selfishly I wanted to keep Nate, but the more I thought about it the more my heart broke. I had fallen deeply in love with him and knowing it was going to end hurt more than I thought it ever could. I felt the tears roll silently down my cheeks and I reached up and brushed them away taking a deep breath to steady myself.

  I could feel him when he walked into the room. He moved over to stand behind me then placed a hand on my shoulder and I took a breath then plastered a smile on my face and turned to look at him.

  'Is everything alright?' His voice was filled with concern and I felt another part of my heart break. He was too good, even if he argued the fact, he was too good for me.

  'Everything is great.' I went to move past him and head back into the living room but he stepped to the side and blocked my path.

  'I may have only known you for a few days, but I can tell when you're lying.' He reached out and stroked his thumb across my cheek the look of concern on his face which only added to my heartache. 'So tell me, is everything truly alright? Is this because... because of last night?' I looked up into his eyes and I wanted to tell him everything, wanted to voice my fears, wanted him to tell me that I was being an idiot that everything would work out fine, wanted to erase that look of worry in his eyes, but I was too much of a coward.

  'No, no of course not. Last night was... perfect. I think I'm just missing my family, that's all.' He nodded and stepped a little closer to me. 'I think I will give my sister a ring, find out how the kids are.'

  He stroked his thumb over my cheek again then quickly placed a kiss to my lips. I felt it everywhere and I wanted to kiss him longer and deeper and hold on with everything I had. I smiled up at him then moved around him and walked back into the living room, needing the distance.

  Ella and Maggie were sitting next to each other on the sofa and chatting quietly. Trying not to disturb them I gathered up my gifts then headed out through the hallway and up the stairs to my room.

  I closed the door behind me and sat down on the bed placing my presents on the duvet next to me. I picked up the book that Nate had given me. I ran my fingers over the worn leather and instinctively brought it up to my nose. I breathed in the smell that triggered so many memories.

  I hadn't been a big reader as a child but in my late teens I had discovered my love for books. The smell reminded me of all the late nights curled up under my covers just devouring stories, reading until the early hours just to see what happened to the characters. Reading until my eyes hurt and they wouldn't stay open any longer. I loved that smell; it was comforting and familiar and always soothed and calmed me.

  I finally lowered it to my lap and opened the cover and took out the note that Nate had written. I needed to talk to someone about what was going on but the person I would usually go to was Ella and there was no way I was going to talk to her about what was going on between me and her brother.

  I leaned over to my bedside table and picked up my mobile and tapped until I found my sister's number and waited for her to pick up.

  'Merry Christmas!' I said as she answered, I could hear the kids shouting in the background.

  'Merry Christmas. Thank you so much for the presents. The kids haven't stopped since five this morning, and I'm already on my second drink.'

  I laughed and it made me feel a little better. I lay back on the bed and listened to the background noises coming from my phone. 'I'm glad the kids liked their presents.'

  Abby was silent for a moment. 'What's wrong?'

  Sometimes I hated that my sister knew me so well but this was not one of them. 'Something happened...' I took a deep breath then continued. '...with Ella's brother.' I couldn't tell her that Ella's brother was Nate Hamilton, famous actor and the man I had had a major crush on for quite some time, I think mainly because I didn't see him that way anymore. I only saw him as Nate.

  'Oh my God, really?' I could hear the excitement in her voice. 'What happened? Tell me everything.'

  'It's complicated.' I let out a heavy sigh and squeezed my eyes shut, forcing myself not to cry again. 'Abby. I really like him but he is way out of my league.'

  'What do you mean, out of your league?'

  'Well, he's smart and funny and really, really good looking and kind and thoughtful and he bought me a copy of Persuasion for Christmas - and he is the most amazing kisser.' I wasn't going to tell her that he was pretty amazing at other things too.

  'Shit. Sorry, Mummy did not just say that. Scott can you get the kids dressed please?' I heard a load of shouting and giggles and then a door close and it went quiet. 'What are you going to do?'

  'I don't know. He gets me Abby. I have only known him for a few days and it's too fast and I have all these feelings and I don't know what to do. Abby, tell me what to do.' Nothing would stop the tears falling from my eyes now.

  She was quiet for a moment and I could hear her take a large gulp of her drink. I knew I shouldn't really bother her with my problems; she had a lot going on in her life as it was, but I needed my big sister. 'Firstly, I think you need to decide what it is you want. Then you need to figure out if you are strong enough to go for it. Only you can make that decision. It might be one of the hardest things you ever do and if you decide to go for it then that's good, but if you decide that you aren't strong enough or you aren't ready then that's okay too.' I could hear Scott shouting in the background and one of the kids crying. 'Sorry, I have to go; apparently Scott can't cope with both the kids on his own.' She let out a sigh. 'April?'

  'Yeah?'

  'You need to stop feeling inferior to everyone else. You are an amazing person; you just need to believe in yourself a little more. I love you, Merry Christmas.'

  'Merry Christmas, I love you too.' She hung up and I let my phone drop to the bed beside me. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. It was easy to tell someone not to feel something but if you truly believed that you weren't good enough then it was very hard to think otherwise. I knew deep down that I wouldn't be right for him, that he deserved so much more than me.

 
I took another deep breath then opened my eyes and climbed off the bed. I wandered into the bathroom and turned on the shower. I knew one thing for certain; I couldn't think when I still smelled like him.

  When the shower reached temperature I stripped out of my pyjamas and stepped under the water. My body ached, just another reminder of what happened last night and I just stood, letting the water wash over me. I could still feel him, the way he touched me, the way he had kissed every inch of me. I knew more tears fell from my eyes but they were soon washed away by the hot water. I had to pull myself together. I needed to get through today as if nothing was going to change, as if I was going to see him again.

  I was clean and smelled like my vanilla body wash again. I shut off the water and climbed out, grabbing a clean towel and wrapping it around myself. I wandered back into the bedroom and sat on the bed.

  I had been trying not to think about what Nate would do once I had gone. I knew he was heading to Miami for his next role but after that I had no idea. The thought of him meeting new people, and I knew eventually dating someone, settled in my head and I felt my heart ache; I knew I would see pictures of him with other women and I knew it would break my heart every time, but I needed to control my feelings. I was letting him go before he realised that I wasn't good enough. I wanted him to find someone perfect for him; I wanted him to be happy.

  I stood and walked over to the dresser; today was a day for woolly jumpers, thick socks and comfy jeans. I hadn't bothered with too much makeup the past couple of days but when I looked at my reflection I saw that my eyes were puffy and red and my skin looked pale and blotchy. I tried to cover it the best I could but after ten minutes I realised there was only so much I could do.

  I wondered how Nate saw me. All I saw was my boring brown hair and hazel eyes. I was average height and probably on the wrong side of my ideal weight but it never really bothered me anymore. I was just ordinary, maybe sometimes even pretty, but never more than that. I closed my eyes and I could see the look Nate had given me last night as I stood naked in front of him. It had made me feel wanted and special. I shook my head and opened my eyes again.