An Unexpected Christmas

by Lori Jennings

  I hadn't really put in much effort with my appearance for my meeting with Olivia. I knew the restaurant was a bit upmarket so I had dressed in my smart trousers and white shirt but not bothered with a jacket.

  The doorman hailed me a cab and climbing in I gave the driver my destination and settled in the backseat. I stared out of the window and watched the scenery flash past. I didn't mind Miami as a place, it had its good qualities, but I missed London. That was my home and it was where I felt the most comfortable, but it would be a couple of months before I saw it again not having any real reason to visit whilst I was filming.

  It only took a couple of minutes to reach Casa Tua and as the cab pulled up I passed the driver a couple of notes and climbed out. I took a moment and looked through the gates and up at the building. I didn't know what Olivia wanted but I had come to the decision that I should at least hear her out, I had promised Ian fifteen minutes and I would stick it out for at least that long.

  I walked through the wrought iron gates and across the small courtyard to the door where I was shown over to a quiet corner table. Olivia wasn't here yet so I sat down and ordered a drink. I had realised over the past few days that the more time I spent alone the more I thought about April and so I had tried to fill my spare time with anything I could. I had walked around the city, and read anything I could get my hands on. It helped that my filming schedule had me up early and was a challenge but there were still times that she crept into my thoughts.

  The waiter brought my drink just as I spotted Olivia walk through the doorway. The hostess gestured to the corner I sat in and I waited as she sauntered over to me. She hadn't changed since the last time I saw her, she still had that famous shoulder length blonde hair and it seemed she still favoured heels and some sort of fashionable outfit. I rose out of my seat as she approached and she leaned in and placed a kiss to my cheek and then moved to place one on the other side.

  'Nate darling, how are you?' She smiled at me and I waited for her to sit then lowered myself back into my seat before answering.

  'I'm well.' I waited as she ordered herself a drink and for the waiter to disappear before asking what I really wanted to know. 'What the hell am I doing here Olivia?'

  She looked at me, eyes wide like she hadn't expected me to ask. She lowered her gaze to her hands which she had placed on the table in front of her. She was picking at one of her long pink fingernails. She took a deep breath and I felt that my words had maybe come out a little harsh. 'I wanted to see you.' She looked back up at me now, her smile was gone and had been replaced with a look I hadn't seen before. She looked almost shy. 'I wanted to apologise.'

  I leaned back in my chair and watched her for a moment. 'You could have done that on the phone or in an email.'

  'I needed to do it face to face, Nate.' She stopped picking at her hand and lowered her hands into her lap. 'Things have changed since the last time you saw me and you were one of the many people I wanted to talk to.'

  I looked at her and wondered what the hell could have happened for her to do an almost one eighty. The waiter was back and placed a tall glass in front of her. 'So what's changed?'

  Olivia took a sip of her drink then placed it back on the table before looking back at me. 'I had a health scare.' I sat up a little straighter in my seat. 'I found a lump under my arm.'

  'Are you alright?' I knew she said health scare but it didn't seem to register.

  She sent me a small smile. 'I am. I spent a week freaking out and thinking about all the people I had hurt and all the stupid things I had done and I swore to myself that if everything was okay that I would change. That I would stop being so self-involved and think of other people for a change. Luckily it turned out to be nothing and now I'm trying my best to do everything I said I would.' She took another sip of her drink then took another deep breath. 'Nate, I am genuinely sorry for how I acted when we were together. Looking back I can't believe I let it get so out of hand I mean I was such a horrible person and I know I still have a way to go to become better but I just hope you can accept my apology.' She looked at me and waited.

  When I walked in I had no idea that this was why she wanted to see me. I looked at her for a moment wondering if she was being genuinely honest with me or if it was just a game. I realised then that she was really trying to become a better person and for that I commended her and I hoped she was strong enough to do it. 'Thank you Olivia, really. I can see that you mean it and I hope everything works out for you.'

  She smiled at me in a way she hadn't before and I could see now that at first she looked the same but her expression was new and fresh and she looked happy. 'I am so glad that you can forgive me and that maybe one day we could even be friends.' She let out a happy little sigh. 'What do you say to some food? I know you probably have an early start but you need to eat.'

  I sent her a small smile of my own and lifted the menu up off the table. 'I am pretty hungry.' I hadn't really eaten anything today and I realised that I hadn't really been hungry the past few days.

  The fifteen minutes I had allocated for my meeting Olivia turned into an hour and a half. We had ordered food and she had asked me all about the movie I was working on and how my Christmas was. It was the complete opposite to any conversation we had ever had previously and she sat and listened as I talked. I realised that she was a good listener, she had just needed to realise that there were other people in her life that had opinions and thoughts. It was the first night in Miami that I had actually enjoyed until Olivia turned the topic of conversation in a direction I wasn't really ready to talk about.

  'So, can I ask if you're seeing anyone?' I could tell that she wasn't wondering if we could get back together but that she was just curious. I felt my easy smile drop from my face instantly and I could tell that Olivia had noticed. 'You can tell me to mind my own business if you like.'

  I let out a heavy sigh. 'No, it's alright. I'm not seeing anyone at the moment.'

  She scrunched her eyes up a little and studied me. 'But there was someone.'

  Did I want to talk to Olivia about this? We weren't exactly friends but maybe an outside opinion would give me another perspective on the situation and help me work out what went wrong. 'There was. It was recent and fast, in fact it lasted only a few days and I'm not even sure I know what really happened.'

  'You still care about her.' She said it as a matter of fact and she was right. I did still care about April, I did still love April and part of me hated myself for it, and another part of me thought that I was an idiot for not fighting for her.

  'It's complicated.'

  'Everyone says that and in truth most of the time it really isn't. I'm sorry to be blunt and maybe it's the new me but if you cared about her so much then where is the complication?'

  'She broke up with me.' I pushed my hands into my hair and scrunched them into fists. I let out a heavy sigh then thumped my hands onto the table. 'She said that it wouldn't work out, that we were from different worlds and that I deserved someone who could love me the way I deserved to be loved.'

  'What's she like?' I could tell that she was truly interested to know about the woman who was making me crazy.

  I thought for a moment, trying to think of the words that best described April. 'She's...' I shook my head and let out a breath, 'she's amazing, and funny, and beautiful, and when I'm with her I don't worry about anything. She fills me with this sense of calm that scares the hell out of me but is also something I have been looking for, for so long. I haven't met anyone like her.' I looked into Olivia's eyes and sent her an apologetic look. 'Sorry.'

  Her smile was small but lit up her eyes. 'It's okay. She sounds perfect.'

  'To me she is. I fell in love with her and I thought that she felt the same or at least was on her way to and then she ends it, just like that.'

  'Hmm.' That's all Olivia said, and I waited for her to elaborate. 'Did it occur to you that maybe she doesn't think she is good enough for you? I'm guessing she isn't in the industry.' I shoo
k my head. 'Well then maybe because you work with women who aren't exactly "average" that she feels that she isn't good enough for someone who could probably date whoever he wanted. I'm not saying that to give you a big head, not that you're the sort of person who would ever think himself better than others and - I'm waffling, sorry it's something I do now.' Her smile was shy and really did suit her better than the huge fake smile I had seen too many times. 'It's just a thought.'

  I stared at her. Was she right? Was the reason April had ended our relationship so early because she didn't think she was good enough. Was I such an idiot that I didn't see it? I didn't know what to do. I could feel a little spark of hope form but I couldn't hold on to it. Olivia could be right, or she could be wrong, and my head couldn't fully process this new idea.

  'Thank you.' I glanced down at my watch then back at Olivia. 'I should probably head out, early call time.'

  'Of course.'

  I gestured to the waiter and when he placed the bill on the table both Olivia and I reached for it. I had never seen her even glance at a bill when we had gone out let alone try and pay. My shock must have shown on my face as she looked at me and laughed. 'What? I told you I had changed.' She smiled and placed her card on the tray. 'That's right, Olivia Reed pays her own way.'

  'Really?' I leaned back in my chair and sent her a quizzical look.

  'Yes, really! Maybe, you can pay next time, if you want?' She sent me a shy smile.

  I thought for a moment, she really seemed to have changed and I was starting to believe that Olivia and I could have some sort of friendship. 'I would like that. You surprised me and I think we could be good friends.'

  'Good, I think so too.'

  We headed outside and I hailed a cab for Olivia, as it pulled to the curb she opened her arms for a hug. 'Thank you for meeting with me.' I wrapped my arms around her.

  'I'm glad I came.' We pulled apart and I opened the car door for her, she stepped towards the door but before climbing in she turned back to me and placed a quick kiss to my cheek then placed her hand over it.

  'If you want to talk about anything you have my number.' She lowered her hand and smiled at me. 'Try and work it out with the girl. If she makes you this crazy then she's probably worth it.' Olivia climbed into the cab and waved as it pulled away. I needed to have a serious think about what it was that I wanted and then work out how to get it.

  Chapter Thirty Four

  April

  My first day back in work was harder than I thought it was going to be. I knew I didn't really have the right to feel so depressed about ending it with Nate but that didn't stop me playing everything over and over in my head.

  It didn't help that two of the girls in the office got engaged over Christmas and were flashing their diamond rings to anyone who would listen. I was happy for them, I really was, but it was hard to show enthusiasm for someone who was so incredibly happy when you felt like your heart would never recover and that no man will ever live up to the one you just let go.

  Somehow I managed to get through it but it did take two packets of chocolate-caramel digestives and chain drinking coffee all day. When I wasn't at work I was curled up under my duvet thinking about Nate or sleeping. I had been ignoring my phone every time it rang and I hadn't even checked the messages that I knew were beginning to pile up in my inbox. Why, if I knew that I had done the right thing, was I feeling so miserable about it? I wondered if Nate thought about me or if he had gotten to Miami and that was it, surrounded by beautiful people in a stunning city, he was probably at some amazing party every night or going on dates with gorgeous actresses who would fit in with his life better than I ever could. Just that image, of him moving on, broke another part of my heart.

  New Years had come and gone. I spent New Year's Eve alone and fell asleep around nine o'clock. Ella had invited me to a party that she was taking Roddy to. He had come up to the city to spend a few days with Ella and I didn't really want to spend the night watching them act all smitten and loved up. She had asked me what was wrong a couple of times but I had managed to convince her that I hadn't been sleeping well or I had indulged a little too much the previous night.

  New Years day, when I would usually travel to see my sister, I had spent in bed watching old Doctor Who episodes which, again, reminded me of Nate and so I watched most of them through my tears. When I wasn't watching TV I was sleeping and my dreams were filled with images of Nate's smile and the way he held me as we slept. I knew I should have gotten out of my flat but I was back in work the next day so I didn't see much point.

  I dropped my bag down next to my desk and slumped in my chair. I had taken to walking to the coffee shop on the corner during my lunch break so that I could avoid any conversation with people in the office. I knew it was incredibly antisocial but today all anyone could talk about was who they snogged at midnight or which party they were at. I knew it was the first day back after New Year but how could people still be talking about it?

  I took a long sip of my coffee and closed my eyes for a moment. My coffee addiction was still in full swing but I had stopped devouring entire packets of biscuits in one sitting, in fact I had practically stopped eating all together. My energy levels were suffering because of it and it was a struggle to get out of bed and into work. I had seriously considered calling in sick but then thought better of it, at least at work I could pretend that I was being distracted when in fact I was still thinking about Nate most of the time.

  I opened my eyes and placed my cup on my desk and looked around. There were a few people still milling around but most had either popped out for food or sat in the break room probably still discussing their New Years parties or resolutions. My eyes passed across Gina's desk and stopped when they landed on the cover of the magazine that sat there. One name blazed out at me and I reached over and picked it up slowly bringing it closer to me.

  It wasn't printed very large, just the phrase 'Nate in love?' in bright yellow lettering above a small picture. It was definitely Nate but I didn't know who it was he had his arms wrapped around but the by-line offered more pictures inside. I could feel the bile rise up into my throat and I swallowed hard to try and push it back down. Part of me, the sadistic part, wanted to see more pictures, to see who this woman was and when the pictures were taken.

  I had no idea what I was feeling; it seemed every emotion that was humanly possible filled me up all at once. My hands were shaking but I couldn't stop myself from finding the page with the full article. There were four pictures in total and each one showed Nate and the woman outside some restaurant. Everything seemed to stop when I saw that the woman in the pictures looked the complete opposite to me. She was everything I was not; tall, slim, blonde, incredibly beautiful, and she was smiling up at Nate and kissing him. That was the picture that filled me with dread and made my stomach churn. He had moved on to someone I would never be able to compete with.

  'You alright April, you look a little peaky?' I looked up and saw the concern on Gina's face but I couldn't find any words and I simply stared at her. She moved around the desk and to my side. 'April? Are you alright?'

  'What's going on?' It was Ella and I moved my gaze to her face then back to the magazine in my hands. So many thoughts were flying through my head in that moment. Where was this? When was this taken? It had only been a week, how could he have gone back to her in only a week? It was my fault he was with someone else. It was all my fault. 'April?' Ella had moved in next to me and slowly she took the magazine from my hands then after a moment she threw it onto the desk and took my hand. 'Come with me.' I looked up at her and feeling the panic begin to bubble up inside me I stood and let her lead me into her office.

  Ella closed the door behind us and we sat on the small sofa. I couldn't look at her. I just stared at the carpet, my thoughts still spinning around my head and making me dizzy. She didn't say anything for a moment but held onto my hand. 'April, you can't go on this way.'

  I looked up at her then and shook my head. 'It's j
ust low blood sugar; I haven't managed to eat anything today. I will be okay if I just eat something.' I couldn't talk to her about this. I couldn't talk to anyone. I moved to stand back up but she moved her hand from mine and placed it on my shoulder to stop me.

  'Please don't lie to me.' Her voice was filled with worry and I felt the first tears form in my eyes. 'I have an idea of what's been going on and that picture just confirmed everything.'

  I was shaking my head again. The image I had just seen flashed into my head and I felt sick. I loved him so much and even though I had ended it before I thought I would get hurt it seemed that I couldn't avoid the heartache that came with him dating someone else.

  'I thought something had happened with you and Daniel at the party but thinking back now I realise I was wrong. It was Nate wasn't it?'

  Just the sound of his name forced the tears to fall silently down my face. 'I didn't mean for anything to happen.' My words came out shaky and Ella put her arm around my shoulders.

  'What did happen? April it must have been pretty serious for you to be this upset about it. Did he take advantage...'

  I stared at her. 'No, God no. Ella he's your brother, I can't...'

  'He might be my brother but you are my friend and upset so tell me.'

  I looked back down at the carpet. I could feel the panic begin to start again; I didn't want to do this. I didn't want to tell her that I had chosen to walk away from the best man I had ever met. That it was my own fault that I felt like this and now he had moved on it hurt more than I ever thought it would. 'I can't.'

  She took a deep breath. 'I tried to call him yesterday. He didn't answer his phone and he didn't reply to the seven texts I sent him so I'm guessing he probably feels as bad as you do.' Her voice was soft but I could also tell she wasn't finished. 'And if I think back to Christmas I should have guessed something was going on. I saw the way he looked at you but it just didn't register until now. He cares about you, I am sure about that.' I subconsciously reached up and ran my fingers over the metal bar of my necklace and squeezed my eyes shut feeling the tears roll down my cheeks. 'What I can't work out is what happened.'