Zombpocalypse (Book 1): Contingency

by Mariah Lynde

  My reaction was instantaneous. My right foot shot out, bare foot slamming into Cal’s shin as I glared at him from where I was trying to relax in my chair. Considering the fact he’d killed any opportunity I had to get in some practice, seeing him laughing about it just caused my irritation with this whole situation to increase as I hissed at him, “You could go sleep in your car you know.”

  “Sorry, I’ll stop.” Holding his hands up again in that seemingly non-threatening, ‘I give up’ kind of way – I shook my head and turned my attention back to the computer screen.

  “No, not a crossbow. My parents got me a compound bow several years ago. It’s been a while since I took it out to practice, but I figured it couldn’t hurt.” A frustrated sigh left my lips as I recalled my afternoon and I shook my head before continuing, “When I got home I figured I’d be able to get in an hour or so of getting reacquainted with said weapon, but then I had an unexpected visitor show up to make my life a living hell.” I thumbed over at Cal as if any of them could actually see me.

  “Hey!” Cal uttered softly and in turn I just smiled innocently up at him.

  “Don’t you ‘Hey!’ me. You showed up here out of the blue with no call or explanation. Some people would know better than to just show up at someone’s home randomly just so they can act like a prima donna and demand answers to questions they already have the answer to. Yeah, thanks for that.” I snarked a little and narrowed my eyes on Cal, not even realizing the rest of the people in the call had gone silent, “Thanks to you, the only practice I got today happened to be in head bashing 101. And guess what? There was no extra credit for doing it with a metal object, just a whole lot more soreness. So, instead of honing a skill that could give me a slight advantage in this mess, I now have aching shoulders, a crick in my neck, and jello arms.”

  “That is not my fault! I didn’t tell you to go out there and play batter up with a bloody corpse.” This time gray eyes locked on me with something I could only assume was anger.

  “How is it not your fault? If I’d gone out in the woods earlier, I might have seen him and been able to SHOOT him. As for playing batter up, I didn’t exactly see you moving to do anything about it! WOULD YOU RATHER HAVE HAD HIM WANDERING AROUND AND INFECTING MORE PEOPLE INSIDE THE GATES OF THE COMPLEX FOR US TO DEAL WITH LATER, JACKASS?!” This time I actually yelled right back, completely oblivious to the snickers that played out on my speakers.

  “That’s a big maybe! You couldn’t even shoot me in the arm! I had to fall on a damn arrow to get hurt. From where I was standing it’s not like that bow would have done you much good anyway!” By now, he’d moved to straighten, towering over me at his full height and glaring as if his stare would dissuade me from further argument.

  How wrong he was. Of course, the others in the call were getting their kicks in hearing all of this.

  “Maybe it wouldn’t have been so bad if you weren’t such a pansy ass rich boy! I swear, who the hell witnesses a chick becoming a zombie and still needs to have Momma hold his hand to tell him the truth…again? If you hadn’t been here, I likely would have been able to work on targeting!”

  “Or you’d be one of those things! You weren’t exactly doing too hot when I came across you!”

  “What the hell would you know about it? You stopped me before I could even go shoot a single arrow.” Sniping at him, I didn’t realize the call had gone silent again.

  “Yeah…as if one arrow would have made all that much difference! You’re delusional.” Seeing his disdain as he glared down at me, I hopped up out of the chair, all five foot two of me raring for a fight as I shot back.

  “And you’re an asshole!” At that moment, I was anything but a calm and rational human being. If anything, I was a Valkyrie on the warpath and Cal Mitty was my target. Each word I delivered was a shrill, rising shriek while one hand lifted to jab my index finger into his chest to accentuate every syllable. Despite the height difference, I glared right back at him.

  This had gone from conversation with the planning committee of nerds, to all-out war with the entitled jackass now standing less than a foot in front of me. The events of the day began to play out in my mind and I felt myself just growing angrier as I relived every moment I’d spent with Cal. It was as if Pandora’s Box had opened and every sin went flitting out in the form of blaring, angry words. My frustrations and inability to understand his thought process spewed forth unchecked while the others got a front row seat.

  “Seriously, who the hell just shows up at an employee’s house with what we saw last night? Can you tell me that? Who? I’d like to know what kind of serious mental defect you have going that makes it more important to come here, to the house of a woman you don’t know and try to have her pat you on the back and say, ‘no it wasn’t a zombie’? Of the ten million things you could have done, how did that make a damn lick of sense? You could have gone shopping for supplies. You could have decided to jet your ass to some cabin in the middle of nowhere or even tried to spend the days contacting people you know to find out exactly what was going on.

  “Instead, you came here! To my house! You forced your company on me and stopped me from doing what I had planned. As if that weren’t enough of an imposition, you forced me to have to explain to you exactly what everyone saw in that lobby last night and then got yourself hurt! An injury you are now blaming me for when your own clumsiness put you in that position! You’re spoiled, selfish, and completely unobservant but you are calling me delusional. Seriously? Seriously?! Just because I spent last night and today preparing for what could be coming our way while you drove around in your damn car and acted like it was business as usual, I’m the nutcase. You know what? You sir…can go to hell.” I fumed.

  The minute my rant ended, I glared up at him with nothing but absolute rage. Any chance I had of maintaining my position was shot down by the sudden explosion of raucous laughter and comments that blasted out of my computer speakers.

  “Holy hell, they sound like they’re married!” Johnny began with a deep, throaty laugh, “Somebody better get that man some aspirin, he’s gonna need it.”

  “I forgot how evil she gets when she’s pissed.” Chimed in Jay, causing me to blush a little.

  “Damn straight, that was epic.” Brandon added, a comment which only further served to add to my mortification.

  Not that I was the only one.

  Cal’s cheeks had become a ruddy, cherry red color while his eyes glistened with a slight sheen of moisture. Judging by the firm set of his lips, I’d say it was more over being embarrassed than any kind of humor.

  “So, now that you two are done with the foreplay, mind getting us back on track?” Robbie chimed in, likely because he knew I’d blow a gasket and just hang up the call if things got any more embarrassing than they already were.

  Glaring up at Cal, I refused to break eye contact with him. The time for playing with kid gloves had passed. This…this was now war and I refused to show any sign of weakness. On my side of things, the whole of the conversation had gone dead quiet while my guest and I glared at one another.

  “Give it up, man. She’ll outlast you.” The sound of Mack’s voice was distorted, almost as if he were talking to us while standing in some god awful tunnel. That did not stop him from commenting however, “Our Angel’s as stubborn as they come. If you think she’s gonna back down after you got her pissed off enough to yell, you’re in for a rude awakening. A man in a desert in the middle of a forty year drought has a better chance of being given the miracle of rain than you winning this fight.”

  As if to confirm Mack’s words, I just smiled sweetly up at Cal. My saccharine sweet smile brightening little by little while the rest of me remained poised for our battle of wills. Surprisingly, he seemed to take Mack’s words to heart and backed away a step, perhaps realizing that he’d only seen the tip of my iceberg of crazy.

  Suddenly, I was grinning, basking in the thrill of my victory when I noticed that his arms had crossed over his chest and seeme
d to be watching my every movement. Gray eyes focused on me while his head tilted to the side before he gave me a pointed stare. Apparently, our little war was just getting started, he’d back out of one battle to move on to another.

  I really couldn’t get rid of this man soon enough. Something told me, no matter how soon I thought that might be, fate had other plans in mind.

  Flopping back down in my chair, I became more than grateful for the distraction that my friends offered. Anything would be better than dealing with Cal one-on-one.

  “So, where was I?” I asked, moving to lay my head against the back of the chair.

  “You were talking about getting in some practice, Daryl Dixon style.” Johnny chimed in and I could only shake my head. Leave it to him to try and get me riled back up.

  “Oh, yeah…you’re right. So, anyway, I got back from shopping and noticed it was still light out. I figured it could only be a good thing to get some practice in with the bow since I don’t exactly own or know how to operate a firearm. Came in the house, grabbed my stuff and headed outside just to be stopped by this…” It had been on the tip of my tongue to say ‘jackass’ but I thought better of it at the last second, “…guy.”

  My choice of wording and the pause that had come in my sentence did not go unnoticed. Robbie chortled quietly on the other end of the line while Cal glared at me from his position propped up on the arm of the chair across the room.

  “And by guy, you mean the dude that yelled at us all a few minutes ago?” Ray asked softly, her voice in no way as muffled as Mack’s which meant he was across the room doing something else.

  “My name is Cal.” His voice growled out from over my shoulder which caused me to jump. I hadn’t even known he had moved.

  “Wow, even his name says douche.” Mack called out and this time it was my turn to stifle a laugh.

  My reaction seemed to cause said douche in question to scowl at me. All I could do was shrug a little in response before I moved to lean back in my chair. Figuring that this was well on its way to becoming another blow up, I jumped back in.

  “So, anyway, I got tied up talking to Cal and then he hurt himself. I brought him inside, patched up his arm and sent him on his merry way. Unfortunately, the local cops thought otherwise and shut down the main road before doing a drive-by to announce a mandatory curfew to Charlotte and the outlying towns.” Leaning back in my chair, I sighed and closed my eyes. This explanation would cause a lot more questions than answers, so I just settled myself in for the ride.

  “A curfew…?” Robbie asked, this time his voice unsteady. He realized just as I had that a curfew meant way bigger problems a lot sooner than we expected.

  “Mmmmhmmmm.” I tilted my head back and idly tapped my bare foot on the floor as I continued. Honestly, it was the best way to distract myself from the presence of the ‘other’ person in the room. “Anyway, so instead of being able to go home, he’s stuck here at my place. We were in the kitchen after it started getting dark. There are a few acres of woods behind my duplex that spreads across the rest of the area to the far side of the fence. When the contractors didn’t finish the complex, those trees stayed up and apparently they had a rotting little friend hidden inside. While I was working on dinner, he moseyed on up to my back door and started trying to eat it for a snack.”

  “Holy shit! It was in your gated community?” Finally chiming in and sounding none too sharp, was Alec. Shaking my head a bit, I knew for a fact that of everyone in the call he probably was the one that wasn’t all there.

  “Yes.” I answered simply, scrunching my nose.

  “So…how did you end up on zombie bashing duty? Why would you even go out there?” Robbie asked, trying to keep the conversation on track.

  “Personally, I think it’s because she’s insane. We’d have been perfectly fine just staying here in her home and waiting for morning.” Why he thought he had earned the right to chime in I could not fathom. Cal did not know my friends from Adam, nor did he understand the way any of us operated. Still, that did not stop him from giving voice to his thoughts on the matter and earning a glare from me.

  “Oh, yes, because if it had broken through the back door it would have been fine since you’ve proven to be so useful, right?” I shot back, this time earning a glare from him as his cheeks flushed red.

  “That’s not fair, Miss Warren. I couldn’t help…”

  “What? You couldn’t help in the lobby last night because you might mess up your suit? Or this afternoon when Mommy didn’t tell you all was right in the world and you knocked yourself out while you panicked? Oh, yes! I know, let me count on you to help me…with what, exactly?” Irritated beyond belief, my right hand shot up and extended to Cal a very frank answer in the form of the bird.

  Shaking my head, my other hand moved, ripping open the drawer directly to my left. Screw niceties and trying to get healthier. This situation called for something more than a pull from a vape or an e-cigarette. Rummaging through the drawer I found the unopened pack of “emergency” cigarettes I’d squirreled away just in case. Tossing a lighter up on the desk, I went rummaging for the ash tray that matched while the others talked.

  “Damn dude, really?” Brandon choked out a laugh while the others seemed to interject their own random comments. At that moment, I could have cared less about his pride and more about getting a hit of nicotine before I killed one of the living.

  “Holy hell, what is she doing?” Jay muttered in annoyance, likely because I was being none too quiet about my actions.

  “Ohhhmannnnnnnnn! He must have pissed her off good. I haven’t heard that sound in months.” Good old Canadian Dave finally spoke, his mirth obvious by the chuckle that followed his words.

  “Huh, what? What is it?” Johnny chimed in only to be answered by Robbie.

  “She broke out the emergency, ‘I’m about to kill people’ pack.” The minute those words left my best friend’s mouth the whole of the call went silent. I couldn’t help but smile because every one of them had just gone deathly quiet as if some catastrophic horror had taken place.

  Funnily enough, their words even brought the man beside me to still. It wasn’t that hard to understand why their words gave him pause as he looked from the screen then back to me and towards the screen again before speaking, “What…exactly does that mean?”

  “It means, you’re lucky she hasn’t killed you yet.” Johnny spoke up with a mirthful chuckle while Robbie explained.

  “When she and her ex parted ways, Angel decided to stop smoking and start vaping. You know, that whole, life changing directions 'I want to be healthier' phase. So, she set aside smoking and started using a vape or an e-cig to curb her need for nicotine. There have only been two situations in that time period where she’s picked up an actual cigarette, one was when she had to deal with the ex again and two was when someone hit her car while she was down here for a vacation. In both situations she was fit to murder someone. So whatever you’ve been doing, I’d tread lightly, sir.”

  The last was met with a chorus of affirmations which had Cal looking at me like I were some sort of psychopath. Then again, considering what he just heard, that might seem like a plausible thing so I just offered a half smile and tore the plastic seal on the box of cigarettes to flip back the lid and pull one of those small, white sticks free.

  “Surely it can’t be all that bad?” Here it went, Cal planned to do with the group exactly what he tried to do with me this afternoon, deny his situation. “I mean, if she was really so mentally unstable someone would have done something. More to the point, what would that make all of you?”

  He was cut off by the sound of a whole group of people drawing in a sharp breath. That sound was followed by a chorus of replies.

  “Oh, damn.”

  “Shit, here we go.”

  “I need popcorn.”

  “She’s gonna commit murder.”

  “Ooooh. Bad choice.”

  Each one had Cal sliding back away from my desk and st
aring at me in confusion, “I don’t understand.”

  “Did you just call my best friend and everyone else in this call a lunatic?” Right on cue, there was Robbie. Considering the current situation that the world had landed itself in, you’d think that tirades of this sort would be deemed unnecessary.

  You’d think.

  However, any form of normalcy or order was important to find amidst chaos. For me and for our group, one of those things that could be considered normal happened to be our almost rabid defense of one another when outside elements attacked.

  “I...was merely stating…”

  “You were merely stating what? That she is a lunatic that’s unstable so you can feel better about yourself? That we’re all making up the events of the last couple of days because we’re crazy? What? Was that what you were stating?” That snapped reply had everyone, including me shutting up. “You’re lucky she saved your ass. From what it sounds like, you needed the help you silver spoon munching panty waist.”

  Oh, dear. Not even the Hobbit had gotten a verbal lashing like this one. When Robbie resorted to stringing together words and descriptions for insults, he meant serious business. The other in the call soon began to murmur, huffs and growls of anger stirring amongst the group sounded through those speakers and all of it was directed at the man standing beside me.

  Honestly, I could have interjected, but something within me craved seeing Cal try to survive the slings and arrows coming towards him on his own. I could have stepped in and said it was fine; that none of this was necessary, but my frustration level demanded otherwise. This guy had been proving to be a pain in my ass for the majority of the last day. Since I had no clue how bad things were outside of my little housing complex, there was every possibility that I could be stuck with him for a couple of days. I needed him to learn his place. Hopefully in such a way that he would not be a gigantic pain in my ass and something far more manageable.