‘We just saw him last week. Complete sweetheart.’ Christian smiles softly, deviously vague and curbing more suspicion.
‘Right. And he has that girlfriend, Natasha, to be caring for too; it’s not down to him to be solely responsible for our girl. She’s got to learn to do it solo.’ My dad cuts in and I literally feel myself tense, anger bubbling at the mention of her while Leila is riling my nerves. I can’t help feeling ultra-touchy with this subject when I know the source of my heartache is less than a hundred feet away at his parents’ house tonight. This is why I have avoided family dinners, where everyone gets to come together to focus on me.
‘Nice girl… Never really seen the connection though, she’s a bit… I don’t know….. Bland. A bit quiet and tame, for our Arry.’ My mom is frowning my way, as if she expects me to have some sort of input and I just frown hard back at her.
‘Lame more likes.’ Leila mutters and for once I find myself smiling at her impulsively. I always knew she was lukewarm to the other girl, but she has never actually openly insulted her in front of me before.
‘Leila!’ My mother scolds, giving her a maternal look of displeasure.
‘She’s a very sweet young lady and seems like a genuine homely person. She is always very polite and good mannered.’ She adds with a gentler tone that just doesn’t seem all that genuine, and I start to wonder how long I have been oblivious to my family’s distinct lack of affection for the girl Arrick has been bringing home for two years.
When did this happen?
‘Again lame… I can understand someone like Rylanne hooking up with a Natasha, I mean he is all for a 1950’s housewife who wants to stay home barefoot and pregnant, that’s why he is dating Brie; but never a Carrero. Definitely not Arrick!‘ Leila’s stuffing her face with more bread and throws me an odd look that just gets a flat response. I won’t be goaded into a reaction that betrays anything; my friends have fallen silent and eating to deflect attention and I can feel my face flaming. Hoping they all drop this topic soon. As interested as I am to hear they don’t all adore her, I am not really savouring his name being passed around or his relationship analysed when all I want to do is forget him.
‘Arrick clearly likes her, so I guess it’s none of our business!’ I point out steadily. I catch Daniel frowning at me for a moment before he clears his throat and looks away, it’s an odd moment but I let it slide. Not sure what to make of it.
‘True. Everyone gets to make their own choices in life. Even if they are the wrong ones.’ Daniel cuts in, sighing heavily and sitting back casually. He rubs his flat stomach and stretches, seemingly bored with how this conversation is going and finished with his own starter. He has always been completely comfortable at my family table. Leila throws him a sarcastic look, reminding him of all his wrong choices in their past and he just hits her with an award-winning smile and swoops in to kiss her on the mouth. A quick chaste peck that makes her soften visually.
Still weak for him then. Kinda cute, yet also gross.
‘Talking of which, where are the rest of them? Surely everyone is coming for the party tomorrow?’ I look at my mom and then Leila, wondering why my brothers get to escape this unbearable dinner tonight. Family tradition dictates we all have to be here on the eve of Leilas smash up and I could have used the numbers to avoid this strained topic.
‘They are all arriving at different points through the day tomorrow. Life Soph’s, kids, jobs….. everyone will be here for the party.’ My dad frowns, motioning for the housekeeper to start removing plates for the next course. I watch Leila almost wrestle the bread plate from her angrily.
‘Except the kids… I told you mom. No kids this year. I plan to get completely bladdered, dance up a storm and have a kid free night and no children will be ruining our buzz.’ Leila growls at the housekeeper and puts the bread plate back on the table like a feral beast protecting her babies.
‘My sweet maternal little wife.’ Daniel rolls his eyes, but my mom just smiles patiently; used to the diva in her and her unmaternal demands.
‘Yes Leila, we all know. I made sure to inform all guests that this is a child free affair. We have a little kiddy get together for everyone on Sunday afternoon.’ My mom tries to smooth her ruffled feathers with a warm tone and gentle smile.
‘Should have made that Monday mom… Hangovers can be an all-day thing when you’re an alcoholic like Leelou.’ I smirk her way and catch the evil glare.
‘Shut up or I’ll impale you with my breadknife.’ She sounds deadly serious and holds up a rather long and sharp implement that she has swiped from the bread plate in the centre. Daniel leans in smoothly and removes it from her fingers, handing it off to the passing housekeeper with a grateful smile. Leila just glares at him coldly.
‘I agree though. Hangovers and family fun days do not mix. Leila is like a beast the day after a party.’ Daniel concedes, giving my sister an eyebrow wiggle that breaks that icy look to a softer almost grudged smile, and my mom sighs heavily.
‘Sunday is the only day they will all be staying until. People have lives for goodness sakes and I want to see all my babies, and grandbabies, in one place at one time before you all leave again.’ She seems close to tears, deflated at her ruined plans.
‘I don’t have kids and I will be on a flight home Sunday afternoon mom.’ I shrug unapologetically, I do not want to be around for that little get together with a hangover. Screaming kids and arguing family are my idea of a hangover nightmare and I could never subject Christian and Jenny to that mess.
‘I don’t know why I bother sometimes, I really don’t.’ My mom huffs and sighs as my dad pats her hand sympathetically. Giving her a tender smile that seems to perk her up.
‘I plan on staying in bed till Monday.’ Leila ruins it with that little exclamation, in diva mode, with a spoiled brat tone.
‘I’ll bring the kids. Don’t worry about it, we have Christmas coming in a few months and you know that’s a week-long family get together.’ Daniel is trying to be the saviour once more, my poor momma gripping on with her fingertips to her dream reunion.
‘Because that’s something to look forward to.’ I roll my eyes and then laugh when Leila throws her bread at me and sends my mom into scolding overdrive.
Chapter 4
The Huntsberger house is transformed, the huge adjoining dining room and family room has been emptied through the day and now styled with floral arrangements, seating which pours out into the gardens from the wall of veranda doors; looking like a huge function room in any classy hotel. Leila has always insisted on using home for her parties, I think it’s the little bit of sentimentality in her and that this place signifies safety and happy memories for her. It also means strictly no paparazzi for any of the more well-known guests and we can monitor who gets to come in and let everyone relax to have an enjoyable time.
Food is being laid out in the adjoining TV room, music blaring from the sound system outside and a huge marquee, housing a bar and extended lounging area is set up; I can see a wooden floor for dancing inside as well as in here. They have gone big and bold for this one, the place is bursting with friends and family galore and even though it’s early in the evening, the house is crowded.
I work my way out through the room from the hall, Christian and Jenny are mingling already, welcomed with open arms into the Huntsberger family last night over dinner and drinks, and obviously feeling right at home already. Jenny is in tight conversation with Nathan in one corner, looking decidedly cosy together and clearly uninterested in milling guests, and Christian is in an adoring group of Carrero women, nieces and cousins galore, all fanning for his attention, so I leave them both to it. They both seem to be happy with their current situations and I am still trying to find myself a level of sanity to get through tonight.
I make a bee line for the outside area, pushing among friendly faces who stop me to hug and smile my way, comment on how much I have grown and changed of late, the same old repeated affections and I just smile and per
severe. Pushing between two burly Carrero men, with trademark dark hair, wide shoulders and those green eyes; I manage to squeeze out the other side, looking back apologetically and walking straight into the hard-muscular back of another male in a tux with an ‘ooft’.
‘Sorry I wasn’t looking where I was…’ I trail off as Arrick turns my way with his hazel frown and devastating smile, temporarily catching my breath catch in my throat. I immediately hit that zombie like state of ‘I do not know how to behave right now.’ And do that awkward little eye avoidance flustered thing. Jake leans in past him and grins at me. My heart deciding now is a great time to flutter crazily, while my stomach churns into knots and my palms get sweaty.
‘Still as graceful as ever Soph’s.’ Jake winks and Arrick hands me a glass of champagne smoothly with a half-smile, as though everything is completely normal right now and not at all weird in the slightest. I accept it carefully, so as not to touch fingers and try to appear relaxed, despite the conga of nerves running through me. Arrick seems more chilled tonight, and a slight haziness to the green in his eyes suggests these two have already been drinking the bar dry before the party got into full swing. I take the glass, raise it with a quick smile and sip on it gratefully, suddenly overcome with awkwardness and unable to stand his eyes on me.
‘Just looking for Leila.’ I raise a brow and look around, straining on tip toes to see over the hordes of super tall people and avoid looking directly at him. I just feel like his presence has me all edgy and light headed and even though I have the urge to run away, I stand my ground in a bid to prove I am over this. Arrick raises his chin and looks around too.
‘She’s over there, wrapped around Daniel and already looks pretty smashed.’ He raises his own glass, pointing with it into the crowd of tuxedo’s and sparkly dresses. One thing my family know how to do, is party in grand fashion. I try and follow his direction, turning my head but I am not tall enough to get any real view of her, even in strappy heels and I am aware that if I stretch too much, the silver, short dress I am wearing will hitch a little too high. It’s not fitted, more of a floaty style so will be a risky move. I sink back onto my shoes defeatedly and turn back to them with a sigh.
‘What’s new for Leeloo?’ Jake smirks, also looking up and over the people around them, clearly also tall enough to view her from his standing point and seeing what I cannot. I try to stretch some more, in a second attempt, to see and fail miserably; cursing my height for the first time in my life.
‘Guess I will wait till she finds me then.’ I smile their way and catch that tiny eyebrow flicker and a slight frown from Arrick, almost fleeting by as his eyes meet mine and then disconnect. I turn around and see Jake hauling at his bow tie around his neck as though it is strangling the life out of him and pause, glass midway to my mouth, waiting to see if he dares to pull it off.
‘Leave it alone.’ I reach out and slap his elbow, throwing him a scolding look and knowing fine well what he’s doing. You can almost set your watch by how long it takes Jake to discard any form of tie at any event.
‘I hate these things, I feel like Emma has tied a rope around my neck.’ Jake squirms some more, pulling it so much it comes loose, and then looks like a wicked school boy who just broke a vase. That pleased twinkle in his eye at his own naughtiness, pretty sure he has an excuse now.
‘Oh well, guess it comes off now then.’ He smirks, pulling it a little more, but I only shake my head at him, ready to remind him how bat shit crazy Leila will go if her party photographs are less than perfect.
‘If yours is off then mine is too.’ Arrick doesn’t wait, just yanks it at one corner so it not only unties, but slides cleanly off and hangs it like a dead animal from one hand and I honestly think he might dump it on the passing tray of drinks. The two brothers grin at one another and I literally sigh out loud.
‘Nope..Nope…Nope. You both know if she kicks off because men are starting to take these off, then it will be you two who get it. Leila is crazy, she will hurt you. Wait until the photographer has done the rounds before doing that, at least she will be too drunk to care. I grab Arricks bow tie from his hand impulsively, knowing he can only tie them in front of a mirror and throw Jake a no-nonsense glare. I point a finger at his face, and he folds in less than a millisecond.
‘Fuck sakes woman!’ Jake growls at me, but goes to start redoing his own bow tie once more, a little look of defiance in that green gaze as he mumbles under his breath and can’t shake my glare. I turn my attention back to Arry, who is watching me a little too closely for comfort, and try not to react to how much it catches me off guard.
‘Scoot down, you’re too tall.’ I implore him, trying to avoid the way he doesn’t hesitate into leaning into me, so his face is practically touching mine and eyes glued intensely. He takes my glass to hold for me. I hesitate a moment, before sliding his tie in around his neck, putting my arms behind him carefully and avoid really touching him much, to bring it round and start tying it the way my mother showed me, many a time. I focus on his tie, not the suffocating closeness and way he’s looking at me, fiddling with clumsy fingers because he is literally too damn close like this and his expression is so soft it’s killing me. I can smell everything that is him, feel his gentle breathing on my face, close enough to just graze my nose across his. My breathing is literally deteriorating, as are my nerves. Arrick is staring right at my face, his hazels practically boring a hole into my eyes and making it near impossible to think straight at all. I re-tie it twice as I make such a mess while under scrutiny and hope he doesn’t notice.
‘You look beautiful tonight…You always do.’ He says it so quietly it’s almost inaudible. I feel his voice tingle on my lips, a tiny sensation of vibration that makes me ache to just kiss him and struggle to keep myself in check. My legs are turning to Jell-O and my insides a washing machine on spin. Tying it neatly, I give it one last tug and impulsively smooth my hands across his shirt and lapels without thinking, hands burning with the feel of him. I have tied these for him a million times and it’s almost like breathing to me, the way I instantly reverted to Sophie of old. Arrick seems to take a moment, leans into my palms, before he moves back to straighten up and passes me back my drink coolly. I can barely catch my breath. The sudden lurch in my centre makes me feel instantly emotional and unable to keep this act of indifference up.
‘Thanks.’ I blush wildly, feeling the heat rise from my feet and look away in a bid to break the penetrative gaze he has going on with me right now. Small shallow inhales to cool the torrent of emotions crashing through me at speed. I won’t let him see me break. I won’t show him how close to tears he has me.
I won’t ever let you see that you can affect me again.
‘Your boy…Christian…He seems like a good guy.’ Jake interjects, his eyes trained on his brother’s profile and adopting that infuriating Carrero unreadable mask; a brotherly trait, obviously. Jake kind of looks a little smug and I wonder what his game is, but at least he distracts me and draws my attention to him and gives my head some much needed focus.
‘He is… A really lovely guy, who does his best to take care of Jenny and I.’ I smile; real affection in my tone, a topic that instantly relaxes me, and glad of not only a change, but a reason to move back and look at Jake instead, give myself room to breathe. Noticing his tie is crooked I gesture him over and click my fingers for him to scoot down to my height too. Jake dutifully obeys, and I straighten his tie before patting him on the cheek with a cheeky wink, and a mock air kiss. He just eyerolls at me.
Arrick downs his glass of champagne in one go, surprisingly for him, and immediately lifts another from a nearby passing waitress holding a tray, as though he has decided he’s getting hammered tonight. He instantly seems disengaged from the conversation, looking anywhere but at me, finally. I can almost sense the change in the atmosphere immediately and wonder if he dislikes Christian, or the thought of me with Christian.
Stop caring.
‘As long as he makes you ha
ppy Soph’s?’ Jake is now the one analysing my face, looking a little too closely, which only makes my heart race as though I have something to hide. I wonder now really what he is doing; he has that knowing look in his eye, smug yet cool with a hint of ‘all seeing’ about him. I wonder if he has told Arrick that he maybe thinks Chris is gay, but judging by his mood I think maybe not. I have no clue what he is doing or why he would still carry on the ruse for no purpose, when it affects his brother, who is literally his best friend. I also start questioning Natasha’s lack of appearance, I was sure she would have shown up by now and yet, he is here solo, except from Nathan, who seems to also be AWOL, and more intent on trying to seduce Jenny.
‘Ummm, yeah, I guess. You know…. You make your own happiness, right? I evade the question as best I can, smiling widely and hoping to make it look like my usual cheeky faced self. Avoiding any eye on eye contact for more than seconds while I find my acting hat and push it firmly back on.
Arrick turns his head a little my way and regards me with a sideways glance, an unreadable look in response to my answer. I look away, scanning the room while downing my own champagne, overly aware of how stupid this whole thing has become. How juvenile it is, and right now I could kick Christian up the ass for making me keep this up.
The lies we tell to keep face. Dumb, so very dumb.
My own parents know Christian is gay, my whole family for that fact, after meeting his camp side last night and hearing all about his boyfriend, and I have no doubt that Jakes ‘Gaydar’ is not that broken. He was chatting to Christian long enough before Arrick boarded the jet to see enough to figure it out; before macho mask came into play and Christian implemented his ‘let’s make Arry jealous’ plan.
‘Right!’ Jake lifts an eyebrow my way, sarcastic toned and that hint of smile hits home immediately, that he knows; he is fully aware. Jake is being Jake. Smug and Mr know it all with a ‘I know what you’re doing’ look that just makes me narrow my eyes at him. I just wonder why he is allowing his brother to still think that Christian and I are a couple. Giving him a questioning look, he just shrugs behind his brothers back, throws me a little head shake with a smile, as if to say, ‘I have my reasons!’.
The Carrero Heart_The Journey_Arrick and Sophie Page 5