Reborn as a Vending Machine, I Now Wander the Dungeon, Vol. 1

by Hirukuma,

  Lammis’s accent had come out again.

  “Welcome.”

  “Oh…um, I see. It’s the same price, so I’ll buy it.”

  She’s slipped back into normal speech. Her accent is cute, though. I wonder if it bothers her?

  After retrieving the chips from the compartment, she struggles valiantly with the red tube before finally managing to open the lid.

  “This tube is really well made, and the pictures on it are really detailed, too. They would sell for a high price. No, wait, first let’s look inside.”

  Her appetite appearing to overtake her curiosity, she tears open the paper cover and takes out the contents.

  She seems to understand they’re snacks, since she plucks one up and bites into it without a second thought. They’re the lightly salted flavor.

  “Wow! It feels so different. It has a simple taste, but… What are these? I can’t stop!”

  After shoving a whole bunch into her mouth at once, she buys a bottle of mineral water to go with the treat and washes them down. Has she fallen for the demonic charms of this snack? I love them, too, and frequently ended up devouring a tube twice that size before realizing what happened.

  “Aaah, my money’s leaking out like bathwater…but I can’t stop!”

  “Thank you.” I make sure to show my appreciation.

  My sales this time total 6 silver coins. That’s 6,000 in yen. I got 60 points from it and recovered up to 320.

  Oh, right. Now that I can change prices, I’ll change the mineral water to one thousand. Now all the products in the vending machine cost one thousand.

  Part of why I made all the prices the same is because it’s a pain to do the calculations otherwise. Also, it costs the same number of points to stock mineral water as it does the corn soup and the milk tea, so that was pricking at my conscience.

  If it looks like Lammis will run out of money, I’ll lower all the prices to help out. I know her wallet’s getting lighter pretty quickly, after all. But she’ll have to put up with these prices for a little while longer, since my life is on the line, too.

  Stratum Settlement Gatekeepers

  “We’ll get to the entrance of this stratum soon. Hang in there a little longer. There’s a settlement there, so we can take it easy.”

  Stratum? What’s a stratum? Like a floor? It sounds like she’s talking about the inside of a building or something, but the sky is overhead, so we can’t be indoors, can we?

  I don’t really get it, but I’m glad to be somewhere with people. I want to sell a ton and get a bunch of points.

  We haven’t been attacked even once since setting off on our trip, so I didn’t have to use Force Field. Monsters only watched from a distance, never rolling up to mess with us. Frog people must have a good information network.

  Still, I have to say, Lammis’s incredible strength is one thing, but her endurance is nothing to scoff at, either. She’s fine even after walking for five hours while carrying me. I think she could be an excellent hunter if she goes about it the right way.

  “Oh, I can see the settlement! We’re here! We made it back alive!”

  Returning to this place was her hope that had been crushed once before, after her party left her behind. Then she found me, and now we’ve finally arrived. I suppose it’s not out of the question that she’d be happy enough to cry.

  She’s acting like it’s natural to carry me around, but if someone other than Lammis had found me, they might have destroyed my body to get what was inside. She says she was lucky, but maybe that’s what I should be saying.

  Along the trail, I see logs stacked up—a palisade that feels wonderfully homemade. It looks about six feet tall. This settlement must be fairly large.

  At what appears to be the entrance are two men wearing dusty sets of leather armor, one bald and the other with a sort of crew cut. Both are built like pro wrestlers, their presence more than serving their role as lookouts.

  “Oh, well if it isn’t Lammis! Alive and well, I see. Your party came back half-dead, so you had me worried!”

  The bald man who seems to have a sword scar on his cheek grins in a carefree way, clearly pleased that Lammis is safe. Is he friendlier than he looks?

  “Yes, I managed to survive! I’m so sorry for worrying you, Karios.”

  She puts me on the ground and bows to him. She’s as polite as she is short.

  The man with the crew cut standing next to him narrows his eyes, merely watching their exchange. It almost looks like he’s smiling.

  “It’s great that you’re safe and all, but what is that?”

  “Oh, this? I think it’s a magic item. I picked it up at the lakeside. When you put money into this kiddo, it spits out goods!”

  Kiddo, huh? I mean, I’m sure Lammis is quite a bit younger than me, but if we go by when I was reborn into this world, I’m only a few days old.

  “You don’t say? Maybe some magic-item developer left it there as part of a test. Or maybe it’s treasure. I’ve never heard of anything like that on the Clearflow Lake stratum. It’s been five years since we became gatekeepers here… Right, Gorth?”

  “Yeah.”

  So the skinhead is Karios, and the silent, crew-cut one is Gorth. Looks like Karios is in charge of all the talking. The other one’s barely said a word.

  “Is it an invention? Should I have left it there?”

  “No, it’s just a theory. ’Sides, everyone in the dungeon knows that if you find something lying around a stratum, it’s yours.”

  Dungeon? Wait, they’ve been talking about strata, too. Is this just one stratum of many inside a dungeon…? But there’s a sky. It definitely doesn’t look like we’re underground. What’s going on with this world?

  “Anyway, you pay money to buy something? Can we buy something, too?”

  “Yes, I think so. Can they?” asks Lammis, turning around to me.

  I already have an answer.

  “Welcome.”

  “Whoa, whoa! Whose voice was that just now?!”

  Karios cries out as he jumps back, glancing around. Gorth is staring suspiciously at me. Does he know I was the one who spoke?

  “Ah-ha-ha-ha. It’s okay, Karios. This right here is who answered you. Right?”

  “Welcome.”

  “F-for real? I’ve never heard of a magic item that can talk. Couldn’t you sell that for a lot of money?”

  “I-it’s not for sale! This box is going with me to see Hulemy.” Lammis stands in front of me and spreads her arms like she’s protecting me.

  Oh, what a good kid. I may need points, but I’m sorry for taking your money away.

  “Hulemy’s that crazy magic-item-engineer lady, right? I think she was in the settlement for a while once. She’s sharp as a tack, so maybe that’s a good idea.”

  Well, that explanation just makes me feel uneasy. She’s crazy, but she’s also an engineer? That doesn’t bode well. Now I’m not entirely sure I still want to meet her.

  “I know! Do you want to buy something?”

  “Sure, I’ll try anything. Your recommendations must be safe. If it’s one thousand, that’s one silver? Expensive, but… What does it sell anyway?”

  “Um, this is delicious water. And this is sweet, like tea, I think with milk in it. Both are super-cold. The lower row is warm, gooey soup. The red tube is food. It was kind of like fried putetu.”

  “So it has both warm things and cool things? I’ll take the soup and the fried stuff. What about you, Gorth?”

  “I’ll have sweet tea.”

  “Insert coins.”

  Both of them twitch in surprise, but at Lammis’s urging, they put their silver coins into the slot.

  When I finish dispensing their orders, I make sure to thank them, and say, “Please come again.”

  They both got bottle cans, so they opened them easily, but they might not have been able to if those were pull tabs. I should stay away from those kinds of products for a while.

  “This soup is real warm.”


  “And this is ice-cold.”

  Both of them take a gulp at the same time before downing everything all at once. A moment later, their eyes snap wide open.

  “What is this?! Hold on a second, this is seriously amazing!”

  “Hmm. This is quite good.”

  “What about these fried things…? Ohhh, god, these have a simple taste, but I just can’t stop!”

  “Give me a few.”

  Lammis watches as they devour the pressed potato chips, a happy grin on her face. I’d probably be making the same expression if I could.

  Karios wasn’t willing to share, so Gorth bought another tube of chips. Then, seeing how much his partner enjoyed drinking up the milk tea, Karios takes an interest in it as well. One milk tea, coming right up!

  They take quite a liking to their purchases, and they buy at least one of everything I have. It seems like Karios’s favorite is the corn soup, and Gorth’s the milk tea.

  The sales totaled nine thousand, or nine silver coins. I’ll get ninety points from that. Thank you, my dear customers.

  “Man, this is really something. Whoever made that thing’s got tip-top taste, and being able to drink both warm and cool stuff is amazing. Fancy leaving it here? We can’t go anywhere while we’re on lookout duty. It would be real nice if we could have this.”

  “Yes.”

  Ah, I see. If she sets me up here, they’ll probably buy things on a regular basis. They’ll trade off lookout duties, too, and if the others buy things as well, it might mean steady sales.

  “Hmm… Should I? I don’t want to leave this box…”

  “Well, then bring it around every now and then. We promise we’ll buy something when you do. And I’ll tell the others, too.”

  “It must be difficult to carry like that,” says Gorth. “Why not buy shoulder straps?”

  Now that’s a nice idea. I don’t hate being carried like I’m being hugged, but it’ll probably be easier for Lammis to carry me around if I’m strapped to her back.

  “Oh, maybe! Are you okay with that?”

  “Welcome.”

  “You are? Okay, I’ll bring this box around every once in a while!”

  “Great, thanks. Now we’ve got something to look forward to while standing watch.”

  “Thanks.”

  With this, it looks like I can reasonably expect future sales. Points are my everything, after all. I want to stock some new products and add more functions, too.

  To start with, collecting points is my top priority.

  “Let’s head to the inn for now. Whatever we do, money comes first…”

  Yeah, sorry about that. I put you through a lot of expenses. If I have the leeway, I should give Lammis part of my sales. Can’t I do anything along those lines? I’ll look into it when I have time.

  Large tents dot the inside of the settlement. Not the kind of tents you take with you on a day off to go camping, but sturdy, circular ones, the sort nomadic tribes might live in.

  Each camp seems to be a shop or a home, and everyone standing at their entrances as we pass by gives us curious stares. I suppose a small girl carrying a boxy hunk of metal would look strange to anyone.

  The ground is flat and level. I can’t quite call it paved, but it’s probably easier for Lammis to walk around here than in the wilds.

  “Over there is the inn I stay at.”

  It’s a two-story wooden building, unusual for the area.

  Making Money

  “I’m back, ma’am!”

  Lammis throws open the inn door, puts me down, and yells a greeting.

  In the impressively clean, hall-like area stands a well-built woman holding a broom, her mouth wide-open as she looks this way.

  “Y-you’re safe! I was worried. Oh, I hope you’re not a corpse fiend. Are you breathing properly?”

  “I’m alive, really! A lot happened, but I managed to make it back.”

  The inn’s mistress pats her to confirm as Lammis explains through a wide grin. I don’t know whether this place has a lot of nice people, or if Lammis is just a lovable character, but she doesn’t seem to be in a bad position here.

  “Those hunters with you came back all covered in wounds, and they said you were dead. My daughter yelled at them and refused to believe it, though.”

  “I know; I worried Munami, too. I’ll have to apologize later—”

  “Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh! Lammiiiiiiiiis!”

  A shout loud enough to shake the hall rattles their shoulders up and down. Lammis turns around and sees the girl coming down the stairs.

  She’s carrying a big basket filled with laundry. Her braided hair is tinged with red, and she has a triangle bandanna on her forehead. Her apron has a simple color scheme, the same as the mistress’s. Perhaps it’s the inn’s uniform.

  She isn’t much to look at, but while she gives a plain impression, she has sharp eyes that make her seem bright and intelligent. To put it bluntly, she’s like an inconspicuous maid.

  But she flies down the stairs in a rush and charges straight for Lammis before putting the laundry on the floor and grabbing her shoulders.

  “Wait, you’re alive! You’re not a corpse fiend, right?!”

  “M-Munami, I’m alive—I promise! Look!”

  Munami must be the mistress’s daughter. The apple doesn’t fall far—she said exactly the same thing as her mother.

  She’s shaking Lammis back and forth so hard it looks like the poor girl’s head will snap off. Maybe you should stop now…

  “I swear, Lammis, how much are you going to make me worry? I demanded that the people who went with you tell me everything, and they said they left you by yourself and ran away. I spread the worst rumors I could about them so that they can never live in this settlement again. Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh.”

  She looks down, her face covered in shadow. Very scary. She must be the type who gets dangerous when she’s mad.

  “So that was why you got your things together in a hurry and left…” The mistress sighs.

  “By the way, what is that?” asks Munami. “That thing you put in the entrance. It looks really heavy.”

  “Oh, I found it by the lakeside.”

  “Lammis…you picked up something weird again? Don’t you remember when you brought back that frog-fiend child and caused a huge mess?”

  “Y-yeah. B-but this time is different! That baby over there saved me. It’s really useful.”

  With both mother and daughter glaring at her, Lammis starts floundering, explaining how she met me, my abilities, and what she plans to do.

  “I understand where you’re coming from, but…,” says the mistress. “Lammis, even if you do want to go back to the surface and see Hulemy, what about the money for the transfer circle? And do you have enough to pay for a room at an inn? You look like you lost all your things.”

  “Oh, right. I have nothing left… I can’t do anything.”

  Bombarded with a stream of questions, Lammis falls to her knees in exhaustion, hanging her head.

  …Most of her wallet’s precious contents are inside me. Thinking on the terms I’ve heard in the conversation thus far, we have the surface, a transfer circle, and a dungeon.

  We’re inside a dungeon, and to get back to the surface, you need to use a transfer circle. And you need a significant amount of money to use it. Finally, Lammis is flat broke. My bad.

  Inside a dungeon, huh? It doesn’t feel like we are, but I’m a vending machine anyway, so… At this point, common sense and things not making sense to me aren’t important. I just have to accept how things are.

  Even though I want to cut into their conversation, if all I can say is “Welcome,” “Thank you,” “Please come again,” “Get one free with a winner,” “Too bad,” “You’re a winner,” and “Insert coins,” what am I supposed to do?

  Meanwhile, the conversation is drawing to a close.

  “Well, there’s nothing for it, is there? You’ll have to work here at the inn for a while. I wonder whether that
box can attract customers if you put it outside. It’ll sell what it has, too. Two birds with one stone.”

  I could wish for nothing better. “Welcome.”

  “Whoa, it really can talk, can’t it? I’ll leave attracting customers to you, then.”

  “Oh, but Karios the gatekeeper asked me to bring it over that way every once in a while.”

  “That’s fine. I don’t mind you slipping out to bring it there and come back.”

  “Yes, ma’am!”

  And that was how my life in this settlement began.

  The settlement houses only around a hundred people, but the residents change by the day. As far as I can tell, the only permanent ones are the ones doing business geared toward hunters.

  Hunters are people who put down monsters, collect materials, take on escort requests, or explore the dungeon in the hope of finding rare treasures worth entire fortunes. The Hunters Association has a branch here in the settlement as well. They hand out quests to the hunters and buy their materials.

  Oh, right. Apparently, this is one of the dungeon’s floors, or strata, called Clearflow Lake. Being inside a dungeon with a sky… All I can say is that other worlds are amazing.

  I hear that it takes three weeks just to go from one end of this stratum to the other. The main creatures living here are the fish and shellfish in Clearflow Lake proper, plus the frog people they call frog fiends. Apparently, there are creatures called the Three Powers as well, but I don’t know much about them.

  My sources of information are, incidentally, listening to Lammis chat about something or other every day, eavesdropping on the inn patrons, and—

  “So I say to the guy, ‘Hey, it’s our job to protect this place from outlaws.’”

  —Karios, who works as a gatekeeper. He seems to have free time in spades, and he frequently starts talking to me whenever I’m set up near the gate.

  “Welcome.”

  “Right, so those frog heads have been more active lately, so we’ve been seeing more injured people. It’s always around this time they send out a big hunting party to deal with them.”