Reborn as a Vending Machine, I Now Wander the Dungeon, Vol. 1

by Hirukuma,

  “Phew, it’s cold out. Oh, you get something new again? Wait, the blue button means it’s a cool one, right? It looks good, but I’ll pass. I’ll just get the usual soup.”

  “I’ll have the warm sweet tea.”

  “Wait! There was warm sweet tea in here?! Damn, I’ll buy that after.”

  I have stocked a warm version of the milk tea, so thank you for your patronage.

  I’m thankful that Karios and Gorth both buy quite a bit every time Lammis brings me by, but I worry about how their wallets are doing. I hear the gatekeepers have a considerable income, though, so they’ll probably be fine… Of course, maybe it’s stranger for me to worry about them when I’m the reason they’re spending all their money.

  I’m positioned next to the gate only partly because those tending it think so highly of my products—another big factor is that for some reason, there’s been this superstition going around that the frog fiends never attack while I’m here.

  “Boxxo! Time to go home!”

  Oh, Lammis is calling. Is she finished with her shift at the inn? That means the end of my workday, too.

  The warm beverages that the two guards bought are my last sales of the day.

  Lammis places me on the wooden harness again, then easily lifts me with strength that’s unimaginable from only looking at her slight frame. The two of us—one girl and one machine—head back toward the inn from the gate.

  “We had a funny customer at the inn today. She’s a hunter. It’s her first time going into the labyrinth, and she was really energetic and about the same age as me.”

  “Welcome.”

  Come to think of it, how old is Lammis actually? I assumed she’s around fifteen or sixteen, but she could actually be a little younger or older than that.

  “How was your day, Boxxo?”

  “Get one free with a winner.”

  “It was fun? I hope you can talk a whole lot someday. But first I have to save up money so we can go see Hulemy soon. When we do, I’m sure you’ll learn how to do lots of new things!”

  She feels indebted to me for saving her life and is trying her hardest for me, but I’m the one who had been saved. If not for Lammis, I’d be broken down right on that lakeside by now.

  I’m the one who should be grateful. Seriously.

  “Thank you.”

  “What’s wrong? You don’t need to thank me. You’re the one who rescued me, Boxxo. Thanks!”

  All I can do for her is follow along with whatever silly things she’s saying, but she always smiles as though she’s happy with that, and that’s enough for me.

  My situation is baffling: I’m a vending machine in another world. But I’m starting to think this kind of life isn’t all that bad. If I had a face, I’d be wryly smiling right now.

  It may be a strange environment, but if this is what my days will be like, I’d like it to stay this way. I really would.

  The Director

  Today I wake up refreshed once more, in front of the inn.

  When I first started working around here, a few people were trying to steal me, but lately, it’s been peaceful. The young lady with the light-brown twin-tails stopped causing mischief as well. Now she buys things from me like everyone else.

  She seems to have taken quite a liking to the orange juice, so maybe I’ll add more varieties of it soon.

  Normally, the old couple and the young merchant come around at this time, but today I have a different visitor… But why are they staring at me, standing still as a rock?

  My body has an average-ish vending machine height of nearly six feet, but the giant bear in front of me is a head taller. I’m referring to him as a bear because he’s actually a bear.

  The giant, black-furred bear is wearing a long coat with a hood. This is no lie, or joke, or metaphor. He is, without a doubt, an actual bear. You’d think a scene like this would normally cause havoc in the settlement, but the people walking by spare him only passing glances. Nobody seems surprised.

  Does that mean bear people aren’t particularly unusual in this world? There are frog people, so maybe…?

  “Oh! What are you doing in a place like this, Director?”

  Lammis throws open the inn’s door with ruthless force and calls out in her usual voice, brimming with energy.

  She just called this bear “Director.” This gives me the impression that he’s a very important person. Now that Lammis mentions it, I can’t say I don’t sense a certain intelligence coming from him.

  “Hmm. Lammis?”

  What a deep voice. It exudes an incredible presence, just like his appearance. He said only one word, but he seems like a boss you can rely on.

  “Unusual for the director of the Hunters Association to come all the way out here.”

  “Hmm. I came today with a request for the sentient magic item.”

  Wait, me? The director of the Hunters Association must be a pretty influential person. What could someone like that want with me?

  “Oh, you’re here for Boxxo? Instead of standing around outside, let’s go inside! I’ll carry Boxxo in. Hup, ho!”

  Without realizing it, I’ve already gotten used to being carried. I feel like a sick person being cared for, but I certainly can’t move by myself. The goings-on of daily life are making me realize more and more how important this young girl is to me.

  She moves aside one of the chairs from the inn’s round table and places me down there; Director Bear goes to the other side across from me. The giant sits in the seat with a bump and a creak.

  And I notice Lammis has occupied the space to my right.

  “Your Might would be quite beneficial as a hunter. Have you no intention of returning?”

  “I like my job at the inn right now, and even if I went back to being a hunter, nobody would team up with me…”

  “Hmm. I don’t believe that’s true, but feel free to return whenever you like.”

  “Thank you, Director.”

  Director Bear nods magnanimously. Lammis mentioned before about being a dropout hunter, but the director seems to hold a high opinion of her. If she could team up with others who complement her, I think her talents would really blossom.

  “In any case, I’ll get to the point. Recently, we’ve been planning to raid a frog-fiend nest, but we’d like you—Boxxo, was it?—to join us.”

  The proposition completely blindsides me. He can’t be expecting any combat ability from me.

  “What? But Boxxo can’t fight.”

  “I am aware. I would like him to provide food and drink while the party is in the field. We will prepare more than enough rations, but there is no telling what will happen in battle. Warm food that can be eaten immediately would be a great boon to the hunters. Of course, I will ensure all who buy something pay the proper price. In addition to that, I would prepare a reward. How does this sound?”

  It doesn’t seem to me like a bad deal. The frog fiends act rather guarded in my presence, so I don’t think they’d likely target me. Plus, the hunters would probably buy a lot.

  But how do they plan on transporting me? I guess if they put me on a horse-drawn cart, it wouldn’t be a problem.

  “Do you want to accept the request, Boxxo?”

  “Welcome,” I answer right away. If I’m going to continue living in this settlement, it wouldn’t be bad to do some self-promotion by helping the Hunters Association’s director. This is a chance to gain fame and pick up a lot of extra cash, too. I’ll give them a taste of my products and get them all hooked.

  “You want to go, Boxxo? Then I’ll join, too!”

  Lammis shoots her hand into the air, which is fine, but I don’t want her to get involved with anything dangerous. I think she’s more suited to working at the inn here than being a hunter.

  “You will come as well, Lammis? Can I put you in charge of Boxxo’s transport and provision of food?”

  “Yes, sir! Leave Boxxo to me!”

  If she’ll be with me, she probably won’t carry me into dang
er. And if push comes to shove, I’ll protect her with Force Field. We’ll probably be all right.

  Besides, if I don’t help them deal with the frog fiends, it’ll put the settlement in danger. In the end, Lammis wouldn’t be safe anymore.

  After wrapping up our conversation, Director Bear leaves the inn. The raid is three days from now, so I should get ready as well. This is a good time to stock more food items. I’ll test out some different things in the next three days and see what sticks.

  The aforementioned three days have passed.

  I’m already fitted in the wooden harness. Men and women are all standing around—about thirty hunters. They’re leaving only the bare minimum garrison behind for defense; most of the hunters here are apparently part of the mission.

  The settlement’s continued existence is important, but apparently the one thing we absolutely can’t yield is the transfer circle inside it. The transfer circle is a magical device that allows you to directly warp from the surface to this stratum, Clearflow Lake.

  People come here from higher strata as well. Each stratum has something called a stratum lord—when hunters defeat it, a transfer circle appears. This system allows them to move to the next stratum.

  It’s possible to use the transfer circle without slaying the stratum lord by paying money; so as long as someone’s already beaten the lord and revealed the circle, anyone can travel to other strata.

  As a general rule, stronger monsters appear the deeper you go, but it depends on the stratum. Certain places aren’t home to many powerful creatures and are easy for hunters to make a living in. Clearflow Lake is one of those safer strata. As an aside, this information is all from Karios, who told me about it once.

  Still, Munami told me something else—that the frog fiends don’t have a terrifying mob mentality or anything like that. It’s just that when mating season comes around, they lay a lot of eggs that turn into adults very quickly, so the period of time before winter sets in is the most troubling.

  “Ugh, it’s that time of year again, huh?”

  “Well, it’s a good source of income. Time to make us some money.”

  A pair of warriors—in their thirties, from the looks of it, and veterans, surely—are making small talk. They don’t seem terribly reliable. Apparently, this is a yearly affair, and many hunters visit the settlement this time of year. The merchants see a spike in sales, too.

  “L-let’s take it one step at a time. We shouldn’t push things too much.”

  “Yeah. We can still make a profit by going after the stragglers, right?”

  A handful of fresh new faces are participating as well, and they seem rather nervous for their first joint venture.

  With this many people, I think the frog fiends don’t stand much of a chance, but if there is one thing I’m worried about, it’s that I’ve been hearing that they’re more populous and active compared with previous years.

  In the worst-case scenario, I’ll just focus on protecting Lammis as we retreat…but I really do want that one-billion-point transformation.

  “Are you comfortable in there, Boxxo?”

  “Welcome.”

  Considerate as always, she checks up on me, but it looks like she’s doing it to relieve some of her own tension as well. I think there’s a little less blood in her face than usual.

  I remember a friend of mine, a military maniac, playing a game along these lines with units that carried food and goods. What were they called again—logistics teams? This type of unit generally doesn’t take part in the battles, and rather than using horse-pulled carts, the guys we’ll be accompanying use these giant boars with horns on their foreheads for carrying supplies.

  They seem to understand how vital rations are for fighting, too, so we have no fewer than six hunters with us for protection.

  “Don’t get too tense. We’re skilled—well, about middle-of-the-road. Those frog fiends won’t be getting the better of us.”

  A rowdy-looking man with a wide-brimmed hat and a stubbly beard talks to Lammis. He looks like a gunman out of a cowboy film, but instead of a gun on his waist, he’s wearing two short swords.

  He’s the leader of the team of six assigned to escort us, and seems the type of person who’s moderately relaxed in these situations, both physically and mentally. I’ve never seen him before now, so he’s probably one of the hunters who temporarily came to assist us in this subjugation mission.

  “Thank you!” Lammis quickly bends at the waist in gratitude, which swings me down at the same time. The man hops back before I hit him.

  “Whoops. So this is the sentient box I’ve heard so much about, eh? It’s the talk of the settlement.”

  “The name is Boxxo, sir. You can put money into the coin slot, and then when you press the bump under the item you want, it’ll come out.”

  Lammis is getting used to explaining this as well. At first, there were a lot of people who didn’t know how to use me, so she demonstrated. Once more people became familiar with me, she wrote some simple instructions on a sign and attached it to my side; residents who saw it would nervously try it out themselves. It’s a rather fond memory for me at this point.

  “Ho! Sounds convenient. We can get food and drinks right away while exploring or fighting. It’s a bit, er, massive, unfortunately, but hiring someone like you to carry him makes it very useful indeed.”

  I’m fine with him being impressed, but I see a glint of dim light in his eyes. That look reminds me of the guys who tried to steal me and failed. I should be careful around this man.

  “Oh! I bet you just thought you wanted to have Boxxo for yourself. But you can’t, because he’s my friend.”

  Once again, I’m struck by Lammis’s acumen. Given her personality, of course, she doesn’t use it to her fullest.

  “Whoa, guess the cat’s out of the bag. Still, it would be pretty convenient to have this guy—Boxxo, was it?—around our place, too. Well, why don’t I buy something as a symbol of our meeting? Don’t need water… I’ll take this one, with the picture that looks like limun slices.”

  “That’s the cold version. The red bump underneath is the warm one.”

  “Oh, is that right? Thanks.”

  The man seems to have settled on the lemon tea. He’s got a shady air about him, but a customer is a customer. I’ll still give him the product.

  Once the man retrieves it from my compartment, I thank him, saying, “Thank you. Please come again.”

  “Shoot, it really can talk. What a find. Never seen a container like this, either. He’s not drawing every single one of these detailed pictures, is he? What’s that about?”

  “Well, you got me there. Oh, and it’ll go poof after you drink it, so you don’t needa worry about where to toss your trash.”

  Lammis has reverted to her informal way of talking. It seems like she tries extra hard to be polite to people at first but then eases into a more straightforward manner—both a flaw and a charm. I think her natural way of talking is more attractive. And I don’t hate her native accent, either.

  “For real? Guess all that’s left is to taste it… Damn, that’s good. Warm and delicious. If they put you in a rich stratum, they’d clean you right out. Wait, how is this item restocked?”

  This man’s questions are right on the mark. I know he’s very curious, but I can practically see the calculator working in his mind. He seems to have a mind for moneymaking.

  “Well, you see, I’ve never refilled Boxxo. He’s sold over a hundred things now. Isn’t that mysterious?”

  “This box is getting more interesting by the minute. Hey, Filmina, you were listening, right? Come over here for a sec.”

  “What is it, Captain Kerioyl? Also, please stop yelling.”

  A woman with blue hair, styled in a wavy, delicate perm, appears at his call. Her eyebrows are long and slender. The corners of her eyes are angled up slightly, giving me the impression that she’s a headstrong person. It would be a real shame to have her beauty diluted by a poor person
ality.

  She’s holding a gnarled wooden staff in her hand, and she’s wearing a clear blue, robe-like garment. Filmina looks a lot like a magician—the kind that uses water magic.

  “You know a ton about magic items and ancient treasures and stuff, yeah? Can you figure out anything about this Boxxo here?”

  “I’ve been probing for a while, but I don’t feel any mana from it. It seems like it’s just a lifeless hunk of metal.”

  Well, I mean, I am a vending machine.

  “But it still gives you items without anyone refilling it. The thing must be getting its supply from teleportation or another dimension, right?”

  “Normally, yes, but certain Blessings won’t produce any mana, either. Besides, there’s no way a piece of metal could use a Blessing.”

  Um, actually, I can use a Blessing. As I thought, a vending machine being able to use one is strange…though I knew that. I should refrain from using Force Field for a while and see how things shake out.

  “Everything about it is unusual. I don’t get it, but if it’ll help us out, I’m grateful. Pleasure to be working with you, Boxxo.”

  “Thank you.”

  The man is suspicious, but he bought something, so I have to thank him. And maybe keep an eye on him, too, so that he doesn’t deceive Lammis somehow.

  The Hunting Team

  The frog fiends’ nest, or rather their settlement, is about an hour north from the spot by the lake I was on, or so I hear.

  That must be why they kept coming over for a look. If I had picked the wrong Blessing at the time, there’s a strong chance I might be scrap right about now. It’s a good thing I didn’t pick a combat ability…even though I don’t think I could use one with a vending machine for a body anyway.

  “Welcome.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Please come again.”

  Still, business is booming, and I don’t have time to think about it much. I’ve been at full speed for a while, giving out an endless string of thanks.