“He’s a baby.”
“He’s not always gonna be a baby.” Sierra shook her head. “Get out Paul. You can see Nathan, but I can’t deal with seeing you right now. We may be able to get past this and figure out how in the hell we’re going to deal with this, but I am definitely not making any promises. How could you have been so stupid?”
Paul said nothing. He gave her a weak smile and then went up the stairs. She could hear him talking quietly to their son. He returned several minutes later with an overnight bag.
“I love you Sierra. Never forget that.”
“You’re the one who seems to have forgotten.”
Paul shook his head sadly and left the house.
Sierra locked the door behind him. She went to the kitchen and made herself a glass of wine. She went upstairs and took a long hot bath and then changed into her pajamas and crawled into bed. She laid her head on Paul’s pillow and cried herself to sleep.
Kimber
When Kimber awoke, her phone was ringing. Her heart beat fast, thinking that it was Luke. But when she picked it up, the caller ID read ‘Paul Brooks’. She took a deep breath and then let it, and picked up the phone.
“Hello.”
“Kimber this is Paul.”
“Hi Paul.”
“I guess we need to talk huh?”
“I’m sorry if I caused problems between you and your wife. But when I realized that you could be the father of my child, I knew that I had to tell you.”
“Your husband called my house last night. He was rather intoxicated. Sierra talked to him. What in the hell is going on between your husband and my wife? I know that they haven’t been together lately but they act like they’re still in love and we’re some kind of morons because we don’t seem to get it.”
Kimber sighed. “He loves her and I assume that she loves him. I never thought that it was possible to love two people at the same time until Luke explained his relationship with your wife. I still don’t get it completely but I guess we’ll just have to live with it, or maybe not. Luke left me. Did Sierra leave you or kick you out?”
“She called me the world’s biggest moron and told me to get the fuck out, asked me how we were going to explain this to our son. You guys have a daughter don’t you? Oh Kimber, we screwed shit up bad.”
“I know. We were too busy trying to get back at them for cheating on us to think about the consequences. It just sucked so badly and I wanted Luke to know the way he made me feel. But it’s even more messed up. I bitched at Luke because I don’t think he ever would have told me about his affair if the whole thing hadn’t happened the way it did with you and Sierra. But I don’t think I would have told him about us if I hadn’t ended up pregnant and questioning the paternity of my child.”
“I know what you mean. I didn’t ever really plan on telling Sierra. We were just really starting to get things back together you know. The whole sex thing has been going better and she’s not checking out other guys, not that she ever really did. How are we gonna handle this Kimber?”
“Luke never checked out other women either. I feel like such an idiot. We had great sex, but now we’re facing having to explain to everyone that we share a child together because we wanted to get back at our spouses for screwing each other. It sucks to have to admit that you’ve been cheated on, but to have to say that you yourself were dumb enough to have sex with someone else and didn’t use protection and created a child in the process, that’s just truly screwed up.”
“Well, I’m assuming that there is a greater chance that your child is Luke’s. I mean absolutely no offense when I say this, but I hope that it is.”
“I know Paul. We were incredibly irresponsible in what we did, but to think that we have to go through a whole mess of DNA tests, visitation and child support because of it, it’s just too much. You would want to see the baby if it’s yours right?”
Paul cleared his throat. “Yes. It would be strange and probably uncomfortable for all of us, but I would want to be a part of the child’s life.”
“At least we have that out of the way. Did you talk about it at all with Sierra other than in an argumentative fashion?”
“My beautiful wife has quite a temper. Sometimes I think that if she didn’t she would have been able to talk to me calmly about our problems in the bedroom instead of getting upset and pissed off at me and falling right into bed with Luke. Then again, there’s a part of me that doesn’t believe that to be true. They had something together that we don’t understand. Maybe even if Sierra and I had had a great sex life, she still would have cheated. I don’t know. I guess it doesn’t do me any good to agonize over it. Did you talk about it with Luke or was he really pissed off at you too? He seemed pretty proud to tell me that he made love to my wife when you said that we’d just had sex.”
“We did just have sex. It was great. I’m not going to deny that. It was so damned good that I fantasized about it for a while afterwards. But Luke asked me if the sex was so good that it was worth ruining two marriages over. It wasn’t. He also told me that if we had used a condom or if I wasn’t pregnant, that he wouldn’t even have cared that much. Isn’t that crazy?”
“You know, Sierra said something similar. She called it a ‘ha ha you fucked my wife so I can fuck yours’ kind of a thing. And that’s what it was. You’re a great woman Kimber. Beautiful, smart, successful, and I’m sure you’re a great wife and a great mother. But I love Sierra. She is the woman for me. When we got married, the thought of ever having a child with another woman never crossed my mind. It makes me kinda sick to think about it. No offense.”
“None taken. I’ve been feeling so terrible myself. I’m worried that all of my stress and anxiety is going to carry over to the baby.”
“Oh Kimber. It’s gonna be okay. No matter what happens, the baby will have two parents that love him or her. Even if we did screw up both of our marriages royally for one night of good sex, it will turn out okay. And all of the kids will be fine whether there is a half-brother or sister thrown into the mix or not. We’re lucky enough that we might have married two people that have tempers, but there’s no way Luke is going to stay away from your daughter or the baby if it is his. Sierra won’t try to keep me away from Nathan either. She’s pissed at me now and I don’t blame her, but she knows that our son needs me, even if I am a complete idiot.”
“Paul, you’re not an idiot. Well, maybe you are and maybe I am one too. But I know that I have to chill out or my stress really will carry over to the baby.”
“If you need anything, you can call me. I know it’s a little weird, and I’m probably not the person that you want to ask for help from since I helped get you into this mess, but I’m here, even if you just need to talk without having someone yell at you for being a dumbass.”
Kimber laughed. “Thank you. I guess I should probably let you go now. Alexis is going to be home soon and I have to explain to her that Daddy is going to be gone for a while but that she can still see him. Or at least I hope he’s only going to be gone for a little while. Anyway. I hope that things work out between you and Sierra. I know that she loves you. It’s really hard for me to imagine the two of you not having a great sex life with the sex that we had, but I think part of what made it so good was the wrongness of the whole thing. That’s pretty shitty huh?”
Paul laughed, though it sounded strained to Kimber’s ears. “Yeah. Good luck to you too. Um, I guess you can let me know when it gets closer to the baby being born what we’re going to do about the DNA test and all that. I assume that you would rather have Luke with you than me even if the baby is mine when you have the baby, no matter who the father is, but I can be there if you want me to be.”
“I think that it would probably be better if Luke is the one that is there yes. I’m not sure how he’s going to feel by then, but it would probably be a lot more comfortable all around. I’m due on July 29th. You can call me if you have any questions or concerns and you can call me if you just want to talk to
o.”
“Thanks Kimber. Have a nice day.”
“You too Paul. Goodbye.”
“Bye.”
Kimber hung up the phone. She got up and used the restroom. Her back was starting to hurt a little and she wished that Luke were there to give her a massage. She wished he were there period. She wondered if their marriage or their sex life would ever be the same again, even if he did decide to come home, especially if the child was Paul’s.
She took her phone with her and went downstairs to make breakfast.
Luke
Luke awoke early with a pounding headache. He groaned and patted the bed beside him, not realizing at first that he wasn’t in his bed at home. As awareness of where he was and what had happened to drive him there dawned, he let out an even bigger groan.
He got out of bed and used the restroom. He looked at himself in the mirror and had the distant thought that he looked like shit. But he didn’t care. He was glad that he’d been wearing his glasses when he left because he was too hung over to worry about having to put his contacts in.
He lit a cigarette and lay back on the bed, staring at the ceiling. There were stains from what he assumed had been a leak. He thought that he would definitely have to find another place to stay if he was going to be gone from home for longer than a few nights.
He had no idea how long he was going to be gone from home. The idea of being away from his wife and daughter made him sick to his stomach, but the thought that another man had impregnated Kimber made him even sicker.
He had been honest with her the day before when he’d told her that if she wasn’t pregnant that there wouldn’t have been much he could have said about her sleeping with Paul. Two wrongs didn’t make a right, but how could he honestly get pissed off at his wife for having revenge sex with Sierra’s husband? He knew that’s what it was and that made him feel like the whole thing was his fault even more.
Luke would have taken back what he had done with Sierra if he could. He knew that he shouldn’t have called her in the first place. It had just been such a shock when he had taken Alexis to school and saw that Sierra was her teacher. It had stirred up so many old feelings that had been buried for so long. And he had felt his self-control crumble when she had confessed to him that Paul refused to make her love to her and that she didn’t feel attractive.
He had looked into the eyes of a woman that he loved and saw her need. He knew it had been selfish. He knew that he should have urged her to talk to Paul about her feelings instead of taking it upon himself to prove to her that she was still attractive, pregnant or not. He had known that it was wrong every time he kissed her, every time she cried out his name in the heat of passion. He had especially known it was wrong when he had had sex with her on the day he had gone to say goodbye to her.
That certainly hadn’t been planned, but she had needed it and he had never been able to deny Sierra. He would always love Sierra. He just wasn’t sure that he could ever truly communicate to Kimber that the way he felt about Sierra would never change the way he felt about her and that it did not diminish his love for her in any way either. Kimber had never loved another man the way she loved him.
Luke didn’t doubt that Kimber loved him. He had never doubted that Kimber loved him. Kimber hadn’t been treated well by the men she had been with before him and it had made Luke doubly feel like shit when he had broken her heart. But Kimber didn’t seem to realize how beautiful and special she was either. Even if she had worked at a fast food restaurant and lived in a studio apartment when they had met, she would have been attractive to him. Kimber was truly beautiful inside and out, but she was also human and her acting like a typical, impulsive screwed up human being is one of the things that had gotten them into the mess that they were sitting in.
He still had serious doubts that he could raise another man’s child and stand by her and be her husband, but he knew he had to talk to her. She was pregnant and upset enough as it was without him piling a bunch of crap on top of it.
He put his cigarette out in the ashtray and lit another, trying to calm his nerves. He didn’t consider himself to be an overly emotional guy, but the sound of Sierra’s voice had almost brought him to tears the night before. He was almost afraid of what the sound of Kimber’s would do to him.
He picked up his phone and dialed her number with a hand that had a slight shake to it.
She picked up on the first ring. “Hi.”
“Hi.”
Luke suddenly had no idea what to say to her. He cleared his throat, because it suddenly felt scratchy and it wasn’t only because he had drank and smoked too much the night before.
“Hang on a second babe I need to get a drink of water.”
“Okay.”
He ran water into the plastic cup in the bathroom and gulped it down. It didn’t calm his thirst so he gulped down another, knowing that he was probably going to end up feeling water logged but not caring. He filled the cup again and took it back to the bedroom with him.
He picked his phone back up. He could hear her breathing on the other end of the line. The sound of her breath was almost too much for him. He wanted to take her into his arms and tell her that it would all be all right, but he wasn’t sure that it would be and he wasn’t going to lie to her and end up hurting her even more.
“Kimber, I need to apologize for the way I acted. I probably need to apologize to Paul and Sierra too. I don’t know if you’ve talked to Paul, but I got drunk last night and acted like an idiot and called their house. It wasn’t my place. I shouldn’t have done it. I feel like this is my fault. I know that you wouldn’t have slept with Paul if I hadn’t slept with Sierra. But I did, and you did and we have to figure out how we’re going to handle this.”
“I am so sorry Luke. I can never tell you how sorry I am. It makes me sick to think that the baby may not be yours. I feel so terrible.”
“Honey, I know you do. But we can’t take back what we did. None of us can. And the last thing you need is to let yourself be eaten up inside with guilt because of what you did. You are such a wonderful mother and I know that you would never do anything to hurt the child that you carry. So we have to come to some kind of agreement that will put your mind at ease. I don’t know right now if I can raise another man’s child. I love you so much Kimber, but that is so much to ask.”
“I know Luke. Even with how much I love you, I don’t know that it would be fair to ask that of you. I did talk to Paul. He’s agreed to take a DNA test and if the baby is his, he wants to be a part of the child’s life.”
Luke took a deep breath and then let it out. “I guess that’s only fair. If the child is mine, I certainly want to be a part of his or her life. I definitely want to continue to be a part of our daughter’s life too. But as for our marriage, I think we need to take it one step at a time. It breaks my heart to think of living without you, and the thought of divorce makes me want to throw up, but I’m not going to pretend that everything is fine when it’s not. That’s not fair to either of us.”
“I know. I would never keep you away from Alexis. I’m not quite sure how I’m going to explain this to her. She’s going to be home anytime.”
Luke sighed. “We’ll work out some kind of visitation for now. I would say that I’d come home and sleep in another room but it’s not fair to our daughter to pretend everything is normal. If we did that and decided to divorce later on, it would tear her heart out even more.”
“What can I tell her Luke? I know this is my fault but it’s going to be so hard to explain this to her.”
“Honey, I can hear the stress in your voice. It really sucks that you had sex with someone else one time and instead of just having to tell me about it and get through that, we have to deal with a big mess like this. You don’t deserve this. Sierra and Paul don’t deserve this. Their son, our daughter and the baby don’t deserve this. But sometimes life throws some damned crazy curveballs at you and you have to deal with it to prove that you are strong and you can take
every damned one of them. You are strong Kimber. I have always admired your strength. We’ll get through this, together or apart.”
“I never wanted our marriage to turn out like this Luke.”
“Neither did I sweetheart. Tell Alexis that we’re separating temporarily. She won’t understand it, but she knows that we both love her. I’ll have to find someplace to stay that is a lot nicer than this dump if she’s going to be staying with me even part time though.”
“I’m sorry Luke.”
“Kimber, I am begging you to stop torturing yourself. What’s done is done. No matter what happens, I love you way too much to let you do this to yourself.”
“You hate me don’t you?”
“Oh Kimber, I could never hate you. Please know that. Tell Alexis that I love her. Do you have any preference as to when I see her or take her overnight? And you know that you can always call me if you need a break right?”
Kimber sighed. “I know. You can take her whenever you’d like Luke. She’s your girl.”
“Honey, stop that. You are a wonderful mother. And you have been a great wife too. If I knew that I could be okay with raising another man’s child with my whole heart right now, I would be by your side. I would put up with any amount of stupid gossip if I knew wholeheartedly that I would treat the child the exact same way I treat Alexis whether it’s mine biologically or not. But I don’t know that. And until I do without a doubt, I have to stay away.”
Misty Reigenborn Romance Boxed Set Page 17