Big Booty

by Cairo

He whispers into the phone. “You remember Pissy Sissy when we lived in buildin’ four?” He’s talkin’ about Priscilla Keyes, one of the hoodrat hoes from around the way, who everyone calls Pissy Sissy ’cause she smells like cat piss. Bless her lil’ smelly heart! “It’s her brother,” he says.

  “Which one?”

  “The one with the crooked eye.”

  “Whaaaat? That cockeyed motherfucka is around your brother, Da’Quan’s, age. How long he been there?”

  “Like twenty minutes. He came ten minutes after Darius left. Mommy, you better hurry up before they start doin’ stuff in there.”

  I press on the gas, speedin’ through red lights and stop signs. I don’t give a fuck! I’ll run a motherfuckin’ pedestrian down dead tonight. “Where’s Joshua and Isaiah?”

  “Joshua went with his dad . . . ”

  I frown. What the fuck Julius doin’ comin’ to get my son without clearin’ it with me first? I see I’ma have to curse that niggah out again.

  “ . . . and Isaiah’s in his room ’sleep.”

  “Don’t say a word. I’ll be there in a minute.”

  “I won’t,” he says, his voice goin’ lower. I almost have to strain to hear him. “But hurry. She just came out of her room and went into the kitchen. Now she’s goin’ back into her room with three beers.”

  I don’t wanna hear shit else. My stomach is in knots. I need to call my bank to make sure I have enough money for bail. I tell Elijah to make sure the patio door is unlocked for me. Then remind him to keep his goddamn mouth shut. He promises.

  I disconnect. They done fucked up my groove and I’m pissed the fuck off!

  Twenty-Six

  It takes me exactly ten minutes and seven-seconds to get to the house. As I creep up to the house, I shut off my lights. There’s a dark-colored BMW boldly parked up in the driveway. Oh, this bitch is real grown ’n hot with it, bringin’ her niggahs up in where I pay motherfuckin’ rent!

  See. Her ass thought she was real slick. Askin’ me a buncha goddamn questions earlier about what I had planned for the night. I knew her sneaky ass was up to somethin’, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. That’s why I asked Darius to keep an eye on her ass. Then I told Elijah to be on the lookout as well; just in case. This lil’ grown bitch keeps the switch flipped on sneaky. I block the niggah’s car. His ass ain’t goin’ no-motherfuckin’-where tonight!

  I walk around to the back of the house, slippin’ off my heels as I quietly slide open the glass door. Elijah is sittin’ at the dinin’ room table, waiting. His eyes are wide with excitement. His ass loves drama. I put a finger up to my lips, walkin’ toward the hall closet. I pull out my locked box, open it with the key I keep hidden, then pull out Old Faithful and load it. Then I stand there for a hot minute, starin’ down the hall at Day’Asia’s door. Fuck knockin’ on it. Fuck yellin’ out her name so she can scramble around and hide shit. No, this calls for street action. I take off runnin’ down the hall and kick in her door, causin’ it to fly off the goddamn hinges.

  “Surprise, motherfuckas!” I yell, wavin’ my gun in the air. “Don’t fuckin’ move. Or I’ma blow both of your motherfuckin’ heads off.”

  This little bitch got the lights on low and motherfuckin’ fuck-music playin’ low in the background. I smell her hot pussy in the air. It smells like clambake ’n shrimps up in here. I’m too goddamn through!

  “Oh, shit. Fuck!” Cockeye says as I flip on the lights. He’s butt-ass naked; dick bouncin’ everywhere. Day’Asia’s fast-ass is in a red thong. A goddamn thong! Some shit I didn’t buy her at that. I’m standin’ on his pants. He tries to grab his boxers.

  “Oh, no, motherfucka! You stand there naked or you’re goin’ outta here in a body bag! Now try me.”

  He drops them. I quickly glance down at his hard dick and almost get weak. Now I’m really heated. But I don’t know what I’m more pissed about. The fact that this cross-eyed niggah has a long, black dick, or the fact he was fuckin’ my daughter with it. Either way, all I see is red as he tries to cover it with his hands.

  Day’Asia throws her hands up over her titties. “Mommy, we wasn’t doin’ nothin’. I swear.”

  I point the gun at her. “Bitch, puhleeze! Then why the fuck you in here all naked? I can smell ya steamin’ pussy way out in the livin’ room, smellin’ like goddamn clam juice.”

  She blinks.

  “Yeah, I said it. Rinse ya goddamn pussy out good before you wanna get it fucked.”

  “But we weren’t doin’ anything.”

  “Don’t you stand there and lie to me. I will blow your top off tonight, sweetie. Lights off, music playin’, candles lit, you only in a goddamn thong . . . where the fuck you get that shit, anyway? And this niggah here naked to the bone; y’all were gettin’ ready to do a whole lotta nothin’ up in here.”

  “Mommy, please . . . we didn’t—”

  “Bitch, I told you to shut the fuck up! And I’m not gonna tell you again!”

  “M-M-M-Miss-Miss Simms, I-I-I can explain,” Cockeye offers as he tries to stutter his way out of a bullet to his face.

  I aim the gun at him. “Shut the fuck up, niggah! You in my motherfuckin’ house, gettin’ ready to fuck my motherfuckin’ daughter . . . you can’t explain shit to me. The only thing I wanna know is. Did you put your dick in her? And if you open your motherfuckin’ mouth with a lie, I’ma get charged with a body tonight.” I place a hand on my hip. “Now talk!”

  “No, word is bond, Miss Simms. We didn’t fuck. I’m mean, I didn’t. I swear. We were gonna, but . . . I swear on my seed. We—”

  “Mommy, please. I’m sorry. Put the gun—”

  Before she can open her mouth to say anything else, I leap over and backhand her. She falls back into the wall. “Shut the fuck up. Next time, I’ma pistol whip your ass up in here.” Now I’m not really gonna shoot my baby, or his ass. But, I’d mace both of their asses down real good. But they don’t know what I’d do at this moment. And the poor, slutty thing pisses on her nasty-ass self. Bless her lil’ pissy-ass heart! I feel like clawin’ her damn face it, then punchin’ her in her throat. She’s crossed the goddamn line, fuckin’ up in here! And not havin’ her pussy fresh. Oh, I’m goddamn through.

  She slides down the wall, cryin’ and holdin’ her face. Like I give a damn! “Get ya goddamn stinkin’-ass pussy up off my carpet before you stain it.”

  Cockeye looks over my shoulder and I follow his stare. Elijah and Isaiah are standin’ in back of me gawkin’, takin’ everything in. “Y’all go on and take your nosey-asses upstairs before I fuck both of you up, next.”

  They take off runnin’. “Hahahahaha, Mommy said she’s gonna blow his cock off. And shoot up Asia’s nasty stink-box. Her pussy smells like clams.”

  “Elijah!” I yell. “Stop makin’ up shit. ’Fore I beat yo’ ass!”

  I stare Cockeye down. “Niggah, you tried to run your dick up in the wrong pussy. How old are you?” He tells me he’s twenty. “Twenty? Niggah, have you lost your motherfuckin’ mind? She’s sixteen!”

  He frowns, shootin’ a look over at her. “Sixteen?” he repeats, soundin’ shocked. “Yo, I ain’t know she was only sixteen. She told me she just turned eighteen.”

  “Well, she told you a motherfuckin’ lie!” He cut his eye over at Day’Asia. She looks at him, then me. I narrow my eyes at her. “Don’t say shit. I feel like crackin’ your skull open.”

  “Can I put my clothes on, now?” Cockeye has the audacity to ask.

  “Hell no,” I snap, yankin’ his boxers outta his hand, then snatchin’ the crumpled sheet from off the bed and throwin’ it at him. “Put that on if you wanna cover up. As a matter of fact, go sit your ass out in the livin’ room until I’m finished with Miss Hot in The Ass over there. Then you can leave.” He stares at me as if I’m crazy. “Niggah, I’m not playin’. You do know who my sons are, right?”

  He nods. “Yeah. Miss Simms, I don’t want no problems.”

  “Oh, too late, niggah. You shoulda tho
ught about that before you snuck yo’ ass up over here and climbed up in my daughter’s bed. Now you got problems. And just so you know. I’ve blocked your car in. So if you’re tryna go somewhere, you’re gonna be goin’ on foot. Now go take yo’ ass on out in the livin’ room and wait until I’m finished. Then I’ma give you your shit and send you on your way.”

  I keep the gun aimed at him. He shoots a look over at Day’Asia, shakin’ his head. “I don’t believe this shit,” he mumbles, wrappin’ the sheet around him, then walkin’ past me.

  “Elijah and Isaiah, y’all block the door and make sure this nasty niggah doesn’t try ’n leave up outta here.”

  “Okay,” they say. “We got it covered.” I hear Elijah talkin’ shit to him, laughin’. But I’m too focused on beatin’ this little ho’s ass to be concerned.

  “You stay right there,” I tell her. “And if you fuckin’ move, I’m promise you tonight will be your last night breathin’. Do you understand me?”

  She looks at me, scared shitless. Good!

  She nods. “Yes.”

  I walk out into the livin’ room. Tell Elijah and Isaiah to go upstairs until I call them back down. Cockeye is sittin’ in the dinin’ room. “Niggah, I told you to go sit yo’ ass in the livin’ room. See. You hard-headed. That’s why your little bad-ass stayed in trouble and always in and outta jail.”

  He locks his eyes on the gun in my hand, then looks up at me. “Miss Simms, I swear to you. I thought she was eighteen. If I woulda known she was only sixteen I woulda stepped off when I ran into her.”

  I put the gun to his head. “Did you fuck her?”

  He shakes his head. “No. The only thing we did was fool around.”

  I frown. “Fool around how, niggah? You eat her stank-ass pussy and suck all over her titties? She suck that big-ass dick of yours?”

  He blinks. I got the niggah shook. Good! “And you better think long and hard before you speak ’cause you done tried to run ya dick up in the wrong one. Now open your mouth.” I rub the barrel of the gun over his lips. “Open your mouth, niggah, or I’ma bang your teeth in.”

  “Miss-Miss Simms . . . rrreal shit . . . we didn’t ffffuck.”

  “Open. Your. Mouth.” I cock the gun back. “I’ma count to ten, then I’ma shoot your head off and splatter your goddamn brains all over the room. One, two, three . . . ” He opens his mouth and I slide the barrel in.

  “Did she suck your dick?” He swallows hard. The niggah’s sweatin’ bullets. “Motherfucka, don’t think I won’t blow your brains out in here. Answer the question.” He tells me, again, that he didn’t know she was only sixteen. He pleads. Tells me I gotta believe him. I do. Still I wanna toy with the niggah some more before I run down on Day’Asia’s ass and beat her down. I get up in his face. And speak real low. “I’ma tell you what we gonna do.” I pause, narrowin’ my eyes. “We gonna act like this never happened, understand?”

  He rapidly nods his head. Sweat is pourin’ down his face. “Cool. I can do that, ma’am. It never happened.”

  “Good. Now this is what you’re gonna do for me. How much money you have on you?”

  “I got like three, four, hunnid in my jeans pocket.”

  “Good. I want it for all my pain and sufferin’. And then I want you to bring your black ass back here tomorrow mornin’ at nine. So I can collect the rest. You got that?”

  He nods again. I pull the gun from outta his mouth.

  “And if you don’t show up here at exactly nine, I’ma have my crazy-ass sons beat yo’ black ass after I fuck your mother up, word is bond, niggah. And them I’ma hunt ya baby muhver down and fuck her up. You got that?”

  He nods. “I got you. I’ll be here. I’m not gonna front. I don’t want no problems; real shit.”

  “Good.” I step back. Tell him I’ll be right back, then walk back down to Day’Asia’s room. Lucky for her, she’s in the same spot I left her in. I grab Cockeye’s clothes, then walk back out into the dinin’ room. I tell him to stand up and give me the sheet he has wrapped around his body. He removes it, tryna cover his cock.

  “Niggah, I already saw your dick. Remember, you were tryna fuck my sixteen-year-old daughter with it, niggah-bitch.” I hand him his boxers and watch as he slips into them, runnin’ his pockets. I pull out two condoms, a driver’s license, and four-hundred-and-fifty dollars. I fold the money and stuff it down in my bra, tossin’ him his jeans. He puts them on, then finishes puttin’ the rest of his shit on. I keep my eyes on him as he stuffs his feet into his Timbs, then grab my car keys and walk him outside.

  I memorize his license plate as he gets in his car. I back my car away from the driveway, then get out as he backs up. “What time you gonna be here tomorrow?”

  “At nine-thirty.”

  “No, niggah. Nine.”

  “I got you.”

  “Oh you gonna get me, all right. And if you don’t show up, I’ma have yo’ ass hemmed up for tryna rape my daughter.”

  He blinks. “Yo, I ain’t—”

  I put my hand up, cuttin’ him off. “Oh yes, the fuck you did, niggah. You tried to rape her. And trust me. I will make sure yo’ black ass gets fried for it. Now don’t have your ass here in the mornin’ and see what I do for you.”

  He wipes his sweaty forehead with the back of his sleeve. “I’ma be here, Miss Simms. I don’t want no problems.”

  “Good. Now get the fuck up outta here.”

  He backs outta the driveway, then peels out down the street like a damn maniac. I wait for his car to disappear in the night, then go back into the house and beat the shit outta Day’Asia for a) disruptin’ my goddamn night, b) for sneakin’ a motherfucka up in this house, c) for wearin’ a goddamn thong, d) for not washin’ her pussy out, and d) for tryna be so motherfuckin’ grown.

  Twenty-Seven

  At exactly nine o’clock, Cockeye rings my doorbell. But I make the niggah wait, peekin’ through the curtains at his young, horny ass. I take him in, all of him in, startin’ downward to his brown Gucci sneakers. Hmm, they gotta be size twelves, or thirteens.

  Booty gotta thing for niggahs with them nice, big feet. Yes, lawd!

  I lick my lips.

  If this niggah got nice feet, I might suck them toes. Well, after I wash them down real good.

  My eyes journey up to the way his designer jeans hang just so. Loose fittin’, but still up on his waist. A brown and beige Gucci belt is holdin’ them up. Unlike them ghetto bitches who think a niggah wearin’ saggin’ pants with his ass hangin’ out is sexy, I think the shit is triflin’. His brown long-sleeved T-shirt has GUCCI scrawled over his chest. The niggah’s thin, but from what I remember from last night, chiseled.

  My eyes travel up to his side profile. Mmmph. This cocoa-brown niggahgot the nerve to be kinda sexy from the side. A brown and tan Yankees fitted is pulled down over his eyes. But I can tell his head is freshly lined ’cause the niggah’s goatee and mustache are piped out nice ’n fresh. Oooh, let me find out this lil’ niggah tryna impress me.

  Flashes of him standin’ butt-ass naked in Day’Asia’s room last night pop into my head and I feel heat shoot through me. I was so goddamn mad and turned on after seein’ all that dick that niggah has hangin’ between his legs that I—after I beat the shit outta Day’Asia’s fast ass—had to ride down on one of my dildoes to take the edge off. Mmmph. And the niggah-bitch was tryna fuck Day’Asia with all that cock meat. Not on my watch, goddammit!

  Oh this niggah gonna learn today! And I’ma learn him good.

  I finally swing the door open when he rings the bell, again. I step back and let him in, wearin’ a white chiffon and sequin lace-front flyaway with matchin’ thong and a pair of seven-inch platform heels. “Don’t open your mouth to say shit.”

  He blinks, tryin’ not to stare at my hard nippes pokin’ through my “Fuck ’Em” wear.

  I shut the door behind him, lock it, then slowly turn to face him as I place a hand up on my hip. “I’m glad you came through and didn’t have me have t
o hunt you down.”

  “I-I-I . . . ” He pauses, takin’ a deep breath, then wipin’ beads of sweat from his forehead with his hand. “Whew, it’s gotten hot all of a sudden.”

  “That’s the heat from my pussy, niggah. Now what you got for me?” I walk up to him, holdin’ my hand out. “And relax. I’m not gonna fuckin’ bite you. Well, maybe I will. But I’m not gonna kill ya ass.”

  He lets out a nervous chuckle, reachin’ into the front pocket of his jeans and pullin’ out a wad of rubberbanded money, then handin’ it to me. I can tell the niggah’s extra nervous. And he should be. “H-here you go.”

  He watches as I count out the money—seventeen-hundred dollars, in all hundreds. I stare him down, countin’ in my head. Mmm, the four hundred and fifty I got from his ass last night and now this piece of change is gonna get stashed right into my emergency “handbags and heels” fund for those last-minute fashion emergencies. Still, I need a lil’ somethin’-somethin’ for now. “Niggah, I know you don’t think this is gonna do me right after the shit you tried to pull up in here last night.”

  “M-M-Miss Simms, on e’erything, I swear on my moms I ain’t know Asia was only sixteen. What I gave you is all I-I-I have on me r-r-right now. But how much more you want? I can hit you wit’ about five stacks later on tonight when I make my rounds. No frontin’. I’ll come through wit’ it.”

  “Oh, I know you gonna come through, lil’ niggah.” Right up in my ass! I eye him, lettin’ my gaze roam his body. His long, black dick pops into my head. And I grin. “How much dick you got?”

  He gives me a confused look. “Huh?

  “Niggah, you heard me. I asked you how many inches that long, black dick of yours is. You know, the one you were tryna rape my daughter with.”

  He puts his hands up. “Whoa, whoa . . . I-I wasn’t tryna rape her.”

  “Niggah, I know what I saw when I kicked the door in. You had my baby pinned down to the bed with her drawers ripped off, tryna stuff her pussy with your goddamn dick. That’s what the fuck you did. Now that’s my story, and I’m gonna stick to it. That shit you pulled traumatized me, niggah. So you gonna have to compensate me for my pain ’n sufferin’ if you want me to forget about what I saw.”