by Sue Shepherd
She spent as many nights as possible at James’s shared house. They both found it less inhibiting to sleep there. They fell into a routine of having dinner with her parents, then popping to the pub for a couple of drinks, thereby ensuring they finished up at his place at the end of the night. He was happy to meet up with Michelle and whichever boyfriend she was currently seeing, and often treated them all to a meal after payday. He was very loving, and Beth adored how he would turn up with gifts for her at unexpected times.
As Beth’s nineteenth birthday approached, James asked her to keep the evening free.
‘Aww, that sounds good. What are we doing?’
‘You’ll see, love. I have great plans.’
‘Would it be OK if I didn’t keep the whole evening free? The girls at the salon wanted me to go for a quick drink after work.’
‘I’d rather you didn’t.’
‘But ‒’
‘Like I say, I have great plans. They don’t involve you getting pissed with that lot, before you’ve even met up with me.’
‘When was the last time I got pissed, James?’ She’d purposely chosen not to drink much since they’d gotten back together, it seemed the easier solution when it came to Lisa and her demands to come out.
‘I don’t know. I’m just saying, I’d rather you kept the whole evening for me. Go out with them another night. Please? Don’t spoil it.’
Beth agreed. It was a small price to pay, given that he’d obviously planned a good night.
He didn’t disappoint. He took her to a fabulous restaurant. The kind of place she’d never been to before. He ordered for her. Choosing dishes he thought she’d enjoy. As they ate their delicious salmon mousse starter, he produced a jewellery box from his pocket and placed it on the table.
‘Another bloody useless watch?’
‘Shush, Lisa. The box is too tiny.’
‘Happy birthday, sweetheart. I hope you like them.’
With great excitement, Beth opened the box, and discovered a beautiful pair of diamond earrings. Admittedly the diamonds themselves weren’t huge, but they were still amazing. ‘Oh, James, they’re gorgeous.’
‘They’re real diamonds too. Plus, the gold is twenty-four carats.’
‘Wow. You shouldn’t have.’
‘Of course I should. You’re my girlfriend. I love you. You know that.’
She grabbed his hand and squeezed. ‘And I love you.’
As their empty starter plates were removed, and their main courses were placed ceremoniously in front of them by the rather grandiose waiter, Beth said, ‘I can wear them tomorrow night. The girls will be dead jealous.’
‘Tomorrow night?’
‘Yeah. I moved the night out. I’m going to the pub with work. Michelle’s going to pop in too. I am so lucky. Two birthday celebrations!’ She let go of his hand, and picked up her knife and fork.
‘I don’t think you should wear them to the pub. They are real, like I said.’
‘I know. I’ll be careful. I just want to show off. Let those girls see what a generous boyfriend I have.’
As James silently sawed at his meat with his steak knife, she thought she could detect a twitch in the corner of his left eye. ‘Are you OK?’
‘Excuse me?’
‘I asked if you’re OK.’
‘Yes. Fine. Unlike this steak. It’s flamin’ tough.’
Beth felt a bubble burst. She didn’t want anything to ruin this wonderful night. ‘My chicken’s lovely.’
‘Good.’ His eye gave another slight tic.
‘What are you going to do? Complain?’
He shook his head. ‘No. It doesn’t matter. You’re all that matters tonight, my beautiful Beth.’
She breathed a sigh of relief. James was always generous with his money, but occasionally he’d get a bee in his bonnet about something, and decide to complain. It wasn’t something the Campbell family ever did, and Beth found it a tad embarrassing.
He left most of the steak, choosing not to say anything when the waiter cleared his plate. His purposeful silence and belligerent stare said enough.
Over dessert, Beth chatted about her day at work and made a point of asking him how the new houses were progressing. Gradually, the fact the steak had been tough, moved into the past, and once again Beth felt relaxed and happy.
‘I’ve been thinking. Mind if I join you at the pub tomorrow night?’ James gave one of his dazzling smiles.
‘Um … I guess not. But won’t you be bored? It’s all women, apart from Kevin, and he’s far more likely to want to talk about boy bands with the girls, than football with you.’
‘I don’t mind. You know me, I’ll fit right in anywhere.’
‘OK then.’ Beth tucked into her caramel and pecan ice cream.
‘He’s such a tosser. Why does he have to come to the pub with you?’
‘I don’t know. Maybe he’s worried he’ll miss me.’
‘Bollocks. He doesn’t trust you, more like.’
‘Of course, he trusts me. Look, Lisa, you don’t understand anything about adult relationships. And you don’t know anything about James.’
‘I’ve had sex with him, though, haven’t I?’
‘Yes. By deception! But that was before. Things are different now.’
‘Please yourself. It’s no skin off my nose if you allow that smarmy tosser to gatecrash your night out with the girls. All I’m saying is – watch him.’
‘I intend to. I intend to watch him every day for the rest of my life. I love him.’
‘Yada, yada, yada. I’m with Nanna on this one.’
‘What do you mean? Nanna likes him.’
‘Yeah, you keep telling yourself that. She’s my nanna too and I know what she really thinks.’
Summer became autumn, and Beth couldn’t have been happier. As far as she was concerned, things were going well for her and James.
One night, they were lying in his bed when he asked a question. It was just after he’d reminded her how amazingly talented he was with his tongue, and she was almost asleep.
‘Were there any other men after me?’
‘Huh? James, I was asleep!’
‘Sorry. But you’re not asleep now. So … were there?’
‘Men? You mean, did I have sex with anyone else?’
‘Yes. In Australia?’
‘Um … no.’
‘You hesitated.’
‘Huh?’
‘You hesitated before you said “no”.’
‘I’m tired. I was feeling extremely good and all I wanted was to fall asleep in your arms. Please forgive me if I hesitated.’
‘So …?’
‘No, there were no other men in Australia.’
‘Well then, who’s the fat guy in the photo?’
‘What fat guy?’
‘In your bedroom, next to the photo of us on Christmas night.’
‘Do you mean Charlie?’
‘I don’t know, do I?’
She struggled to stay awake. ‘He’s not fat, he’s … chunky.’
James seemed annoyed. ‘Right. So, there was someone else?’
‘Not like you mean. No.’
‘Who’s the chunky guy?’
‘Lisa chipped in. ‘Tell him it’s none of his business.’
Beth decided to knock the whole thing on the head. ‘Listen, Charlie’s just a friend. We went scuba diving together. We did not shag. OK?’
‘You met him in Australia?’
‘No. I met him in Tennison Avenue. I’ve known him for almost as long as I can remember. I just happened to bump into him on the way to the reef.’
‘Well, you look flamin’ happy in the photo. That’s all I’m saying.’
‘Perhaps I wasn’t being interrogated at the time!’ She tried a little laugh.
‘Sorry. You’re right. I was just … you know?’
‘Being a dick?’ suggested Lisa.
‘It’s all right. Forget it. You should’ve asked me sooner, if you were w
orried.’ Beth snuggled into him. ‘I have nothing to hide from you.’
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ He pulled away, on the defensive.
‘It means you can trust me completely.’
‘Does he still live near you? Are you still mates?’
‘No, he moved away after …’ She shook her head. ‘He just moved away. Anyway, he’s in Singapore just now.’
‘But you don’t fancy him. So, I needn’t sweat about it.’
‘Oh no, James my old mate, that’s not what she said. She said she didn’t sleep with him, she most definitely didn’t say she didn’t fancy him.’
‘Shush. He doesn’t need to know that, Lisa.’
‘Night, night, love.’ James held her tight.
‘Night.’ Beth found it annoyingly difficult to drift off the second time.
Life revolved around nights out with James and her friends, and overall it was a happy time. He was funny and warm, and he made Beth feel great. She couldn’t wish for a better boyfriend. She made sure to keep the concerns she’d had about him in Bondi firmly in the back of her mind. Unfortunately, the back of her mind was where Lisa resided, and she had no intention of being so quick to forget.
Thirty-five
Beth had been asking to meet James’s family since they’d first got back together in the summer, and he’d been vague, to say the least. After much cajoling, she managed to get him to reluctantly agree to drive up and spend some time with them over the Christmas holidays.
They were heading up north to meet his mum and his two brothers. Beth knew his dad was long gone, James never spoke of him. To be honest, he rarely spoke of his mum and brothers either, and she was intrigued to meet them.
It was Boxing Day; they’d just had a brilliant Christmas with Beth’s family. They’d done all the traditional things; worn their paper hats whilst devouring Nanna and Pat’s delicious turkey dinner, listened to the Queen’s speech, and sat immobile on the sofa whilst enduring the Christmas episode of EastEnders. The evening ended with Nanna’s turkey and homemade pickle sandwiches, accompanied by an episode of The Royle Family. Don and James had a similar sense of humour, and Beth watched proudly as they laughed together. James fitted in well with her family. Nanna was less wary of him now. She even made him an extra sandwich, a real commendation.
Beth was sincerely hoping James’s mum, Shirley, was going to be lovely, just like her own mum. She wanted to get on as well with her as James did with her parents. It was important to her, as far as she was concerned James was her future, and she wanted to make a good impression on the person she hoped might one day be her mother-in-law.
It was beginning to concern Beth how quiet James was on the drive up. ‘Are you OK?’
‘Of course.’
‘You’re not very talkative.’
‘Just tired.’
‘Well, yes, The Royle Family are exhausting by anyone’s standards,’ she joked.
‘Look, I’m just concentrating on the road. Motorways are dangerous if you keep chatting.’ He seemed a bit snappy. It surprised her.
‘Are you not looking forward to seeing your family? It’s been ages since you came back up.’
‘Yeah! I can’t flamin’ wait.’ There was sarcasm in his voice.
At this point, Beth could no longer kid herself that things were fine. Of course, she’d been worried when he hadn’t seemed keen to introduce her to them before. But she’d told herself over and over there was probably a good explanation for why he hardly ever went up there. The petrol was expensive and it was a long drive, that kind of thing. But she couldn’t fool herself any longer. He was clearly not looking forward to seeing his mum or his brothers, and he wasn’t happy about her seeing them either.
The rest of the journey took place with little chat. Beth wondered what she was heading towards.
‘Here we go.’ James gave a heavy sigh, as he stopped outside a terraced house. The front garden was overgrown and full of strange objects, things not normally associated with a garden; a small fridge, two car batteries and a broken fan heater. James seemed not to notice them.
She followed him down the passageway to the left of the house and in the back door. They made their way through a tiny kitchen, which led to a dark lounge. There was a dreadful, overpowering smell, it was kind of damp and dusty mixed together, like the house was crying out to be aired. She couldn’t say what she’d been expecting, a joyous greeting from the family, perhaps? Excitement that James was home, maybe? In actual fact, the reception they received was lukewarm at best.
Two teenage boys were sitting right in front of the television, watching what appeared to be an awfully violent movie. The curtains were drawn; the room was dingy. The two boys did nothing to acknowledge their guest’s arrival. Absolutely nothing, not even the raising of one eyebrow between them. Beth and James stood, waiting. She kept expecting the boys to notice them and jump up. She thought they might turn off the TV and draw back the curtains. Surely, they had merely lost track of time, and once they realised their big brother had arrived, they would spring into action.
After what was the most excruciating minute of her life, it became clear the boys knew full well they were there, they simply didn’t give a toss.
‘Either of you two ugly bastards going to say hello?’ James sounded angry.
Both the lads grunted, ‘All right?’
James led Beth through the lounge. They had to step over various items of dirty clothing and a couple of full ashtrays before they found themselves in the hall. Once there, she realised why they had entered the house through the back. The entire hallway was blocked by boxes which contained, if the writing on the side was to be believed, televisions and DVD players. This must be a permanent state of affairs, or else James would have knocked at the front door, surely?
He shouted up the stairs, ‘Mum. It’s me. We’re here.’
A voice replied, ‘Coming now.’
Beth waited. They were crammed into the tiny entrance. Squashed together. She could sense James’s embarrassment. Her heart ached for him.
James’s mum appeared at the top of the stairs. She’d clearly been asleep.
Beth knew from the things James had told her, Shirley was about the same age as Pat. However, the woman who came down the stairs appeared old enough to be Beth’s grandmother. In fact, even Nanna looked better. Shirley Collier had not taken care of herself. Her teeth were few and far between and this caused her cheeks to sink inwards. Her sallow skin was not complimented by her nicotine stained hair, which was as dry as straw. As a trainee hairdresser, Beth could easily tell, even at a distance, when someone had done a bad bleach job on themselves.
As she reached them, Shirley gave James a hug and held his face between her hands. ‘Jim.’ She gave a half smile.
Moving on, she gave Beth a cursory hug. They were both stiff. It was not the most natural of greetings for either of them. Shirley smelled strongly of cigarettes. Her clothes, her hair, her skin. Beth tried her hardest not to recoil.
The three of them made their way into the lounge and Shirley drew back the curtains. ‘Turn the fecking television off,’ she barked at the boys.
The slightly older boy spoke. ‘It’s right at the end. Let us just see this one get killed.’
‘NOW.’ Shirley was clearly used to getting her own way in this house. Beth watched in horror as she raised her hand. ‘Wanna clout?’
Both boys shook their heads, and one of them, the one who’d tried to negotiate watching the end of the movie, reached forward and clicked the TV off.
‘Jim’s here. We ain’t watching horror films. Talk to ’em!’
Beth wasn’t sure who Shirley’s instruction was aimed at. Were she and James being told to talk to the boys or vice versa?
Shirley lit a cigarette and grabbed one of the overflowing ashtrays from the floor. She sat herself down on the sofa and inhaled deeply on her Lambert and Butler. No one spoke.
Beth suspected everyone else was as confused by S
hirley’s instructions as she was.
‘Well … talk then. They ain’t come all this fecking way to look at your stupid blank faces.’
Ah, it was the boys Shirley had been talking to.
Again, the boys could find nothing more engaging to say than, ‘All right?’ The same question they’d already asked.
James sat down next to his mum. Watching her blow smoke at him, Beth wished he wouldn’t sit so close. He was going to smell as bad as Shirley.
Unable to bear the uncomfortable atmosphere any longer, Nanna’s good manners shone through, and Beth decided to try talking to James’s relatives. ‘Which one of you is the oldest? You both look similar in age.’ It wasn’t an interesting question, but it was something she would need to know, and at the very least it stopped the silence from suffocating them all.
The boy who’d switched the TV off replied, ‘I’m older than him.’ He jerked his thumb towards the other boy. ‘I’m Craig. I’m nearly seventeen.’
The other boy mumbled, ‘I’m Dean. I’m fourteen.’
And that was that. They were back in the silence.
Beth found it almost unbelievable how hard the boys were to talk to. Craig and Dean were not the chattiest of lads. How James had ended up with his sense of humour and easy-going manner, she’d never know.
It was heart-breaking to sit there and realise that these people were his nearest and dearest. She completely understood why he’d taken a job down south, to get away from them. It was evident Shirley loved him, that much was true. During the course of the day, she told him she’d missed him, and made a couple of attempts to make physical contact with him. But she also seemed disconnected from him; in fact, she seemed disconnected from life in general.
Before she’d seen the place, Beth had been expecting some seasonal food. Nanna always made dripping from the turkey, and throughout the days that followed Christmas, they enjoyed it on toast. However, at Shirley’s house, it was clear things were going to be horribly different.
In fact, by 4 p.m. they hadn’t been offered anything at all to eat. Beth’s stomach was rumbling, and all the glorious food of the day before had become a distant memory. The closest they’d come to food was when, not long after they’d arrived, Shirley had barked at her eldest son, ‘Make ’em a brew then,’ and they’d each forced down a mug of weak tea. After that, Craig had switched to beer and seemed to assume they would too.