Can't Get You Out of My Head

by Sue Shepherd

  The two men standing on the doorstep were mean. They had mean faces, and it was clear, even before they spoke, that they were going to have mean voices. They made the ones who’d taken the TV a few years back look like pussycats.

  She tried to close the door, but the left-hand man had already executed a perfect foot in the door manoeuvre.

  ‘Are you Jim’s missus?’

  ‘I … Please. He’s not here.’ As hard as Beth slammed the door onto his foot, it seemed to have zero effect. He was wearing steel toe-capped boots, and she guessed the door was probably plywood.

  Both men stepped towards her, she automatically stepped back. The one on the right smelt strongly of garlic. The smell assaulted her nostrils, she feared she might retch.

  ‘Jim’s been a silly boy.’ Garlic man sneered.

  ‘He’ll be back soon. He’ll have some money. He’ll pay you.’

  Steel toe cap man spotted all the presents next to the door. ‘Ah, happy fucking birthday.’ He began picking them up.

  ‘Please … they’re my daughter’s. They’re just toys.’

  Neither of the men made eye contact with her, the message was clear – they didn’t care. They didn’t care about Beth’s child. They didn’t care about Beth. They didn’t care about anything, apart from what they could get out of the house to sell.

  She tried one last time. ‘Will you please just wait until my husband comes home … he’ll ‒’

  Garlic man shoved her back against the wall. ‘Shut up!’

  Steel toe-cap man had made his way out to their van and, after putting the first armful of presents in the back, he returned to collect more. ‘Yeah, shut up, you stupid bitch. Jim ain’t gonna pay us. He’s had plenty of chances. He ain’t gonna start today.’

  ‘He will. I promise. Listen I’ll get you the money.’ Beth was already thinking she’d have to call her mum and dad. ‘How much does he owe?’

  Garlic man leant in close, way, way, too close. ‘We just told ya, he’s had chances. We told ’im. He knew today was the deadline.’

  Every breath Beth managed to force down into her lungs stank of garlic. She’d never felt so sick.

  Lisa attempted to take control. ‘What the massive fuck has that man got himself into now? Listen, things can be replaced. But you can’t. Don’t antagonise them. Don’t argue. Just sit down and co-operate.’

  ‘But … the presents!’

  ‘I mean it. SIT DOWN. Do you want me to come out?’

  ‘No. Well … I don’t know. What will you do?’

  ‘I won’t do anything different to you, I’m just offering, if you don’t want to be there.’

  Beth was genuinely touched. ‘That’s kind of you. But I’m all right.’

  ‘Next time they’re not looking, take off your rings. Just like before, OK?’

  Two minutes later, both men were busy. The presents were gone, and they’d moved on to look for more items. One was in the kitchen; the other was scouring the lounge for treasure.

  ‘Do it now. Take off your rings whilst he’s got his back to you,’ Lisa hissed.

  Beth began pulling at Nanna’s ring. ‘I can’t … it’s tight …’

  ‘Pull it.’

  ‘I am pulling it. It’s bloody tight. I’ve put on weight. It’s …’

  ‘Pull that fucking ring off or let me out and I’ll do it!’ Lisa was panicking.

  ‘It’s stuck!’ Beth began hyperventilating.

  Hearing her laboured breaths, the man in the lounge looked round. ‘There’s a good girl. Planning ahead for us are ya?’ Shouting to the other man in the kitchen, he said, ‘Mate, she’s got a couple of nice rings here, and she’s just getting ’em off for us.’

  His mate replied, ‘Nice one.’

  ‘I can’t … They won’t come off. I’m sorry.’

  Lisa shouted at her, ‘What the hell are you saying sorry for? Don’t apologise to these ignorant bastards. Just let me out. I’ll deal with this.’

  ‘No. You’ll get us killed. I’m doing it.’ All the time, Beth was pulling on the rings. Her finger was sore. The more she tried to get them off, the tighter they became.

  The man with the garlic breath approached her, leaning in, he warned, ‘We’re just gonna take your TV to the van. If I was you darlin’, I’d have those rings off by the time we get back, d’ya understand me?’

  Beth wasn’t sure exactly what he was going to do, but she wouldn’t put it past him to grab the electric carving knife from the kitchen, and chop her finger off.

  When both the men made their way out of the house, staggering under the weight of the large TV James had bought a couple of years before, no doubt thanks to a secret win, Beth wondered if it would be a good idea to just slam the front door on them and shut them out. Lisa soon put paid to that suggestion. ‘Don’t be an idiot. Those morons would think nothing of kicking the door in. Like I reminded you earlier, who was on the payroll when this house was built? Your ridiculous husband, that’s who. They’d be through the door in a second and they’d be fucking livid. If you want to keep your finger, you’ll get those rings off.’

  Beth had never known fear like it. Her heart was surely going to explode out of her chest. Her head was swimming. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t calm her breathing. Tiny stars were appearing in front of her eyes. ‘I think I’m going to faint. Lisa, I really think I’m going to pass out! You do it, please?’

  Just like the night before her wedding, Beth’s anxiety attack sent her spinning to the furthest corner of her mind. She felt Lisa rush forwards. Back in Lisa’s place, the fear subsided. She watched as her body made its way to the kitchen. Poor Lisa was wobbling slightly; she hadn’t been out for a long while, but she carried on, knowing there was no time to adjust.

  Beth was shocked to see her open the freezer door and take out a bag of frozen peas. She wrapped them around Beth’s ring finger. Beth could feel the cold, but she imagined it would be far more intense for Lisa.

  They waited. Thirty seconds. One minute. Beth sensed a slight numbness in her finger, judging by the way Lisa was reacting it was far more severe for her. Then they heard it, the front door opened with such a thump it smashed against the wall behind it. The men were talking, it wasn’t clear what they were saying, but it was obvious they were back for the rings.

  ‘Lisa!’

  ‘It’s OK. Give me one more second.’

  ‘They’re coming.’

  ‘I know. I can hear as clear as fucking day, thanks. Just give me a second.’

  She watched as Lisa removed the bag of peas. With a clean swift jerk, she pulled at Nanna’s ring. Fortunately, her plan worked. The ring came off, quickly followed by Beth’s wedding ring.

  A second later the smell of garlic announced the arrival of one of the men. ‘You got them rings off yet?’

  Lisa placed the rings in his open palm. ‘There’s nothing left to take, you can go now.’

  The man laughed. ‘Look at you, gettin’ all brave.’

  Beth took one last look at Nanna’s ring before the man closed his hand, and it was gone forever.

  Sixty-six

  As they left, Garlic man had a few last words to breathe disgustingly into Beth’s face. ‘Jim owes way more than this. Tell him he’s got a week to get the rest to us.’

  Lisa waited until she heard their van drive away, only then did she swap back.

  Once back in control, Beth surveyed the kitchen. The loan sharks had thrown the slices of buttered bread around. Some of the slices had dirty great bites taken out of them. She gagged at the thought of their stinking mouths touching her food. Checking the hook by the fridge where all the keys were kept, she saw her car key was missing. They’ve taken my car too. I love that car!

  More worrying than that, was the fact the spare key to the house had also gone. She pointed this out to Lisa, ‘Those thugs have got a key to the house! They could come back at any time.’

  ‘Shit! They’ll probably just bide their time, wait until you’v
e replaced everything, and then come back and remove it all again!’

  ‘We’re going to have to get the locks changed.’

  ‘What a fucking waste of time. Let’s rearrange the deckchairs on the Titanic whilst we’re at it!’

  Beth walked slowly into the hall, her feet almost refusing to move. She was in the middle of the worst nightmare. Spotting that the men hadn’t even bothered to close the front door, she slammed it shut.

  ‘What is it with those arsehole debt collectors? Were they all born in a barn?’ Lisa asked.

  As she leant against the door, a scream left Beth’s body. It was all the screams she’d wanted to let out when she’d watched those pigs dismantle her home. It was a scream for Nanna’s lost ring.

  Squinting at the blank face of her watch, she exclaimed, ‘Oh my God, what time is it?’

  ‘It never did get any easier to tell with that crappy thing, did it?’

  ‘I guess it’s lucky I’m wearing a long-sleeved shirt, or they might’ve taken it.’

  ‘Yeah, they really looked like they could tell the friggin’ time!’

  ‘Oh no, it’s after two-thirty. I’m supposed to be on my way to the hall now. The presents should be in the car … I don’t know what to do.’

  When she replied, Lisa sounded cold and calculating, like she absolutely wasn’t going to take no for an answer this time. ‘Yes, you do. You do know what to do. You need to leave him.’

  ‘But ‒’

  ‘If you have any doubts about leaving, I will say one thing to you ‒ Megan could’ve been here.’

  Beth felt physically sick at the thought of her daughter witnessing her presents being taken away by two enormous men.

  ‘You do see I’m right, don’t you? You can’t argue with that kind of logic.’ Lisa wasn’t letting up. ‘He knew today was the deadline.’

  ‘Maybe he went out to try to sort it?’

  ‘How? Was he out gambling in a last-ditch attempt to make enough money to keep them away?’

  ‘Maybe.’

  ‘You know what’s worse, Beth? It’s possible that even though he knew today was the deadline and he knew they would come here ‒’

  ‘Don’t say it …’

  ‘I will say it. I think he ran away!’

  Did he go out to save himself? Did he actually sacrifice me and Megan? Beth realised she had to cut herself and Megan loose from James, once and for all.

  Lisa asked again, ‘Do you see that I’m right?’

  ‘For goodness’ sake. You’re in me. You’re a part of me. Of course I see you’re right. I knew it the minute those men didn’t give a crap what happened to my beautiful daughter’s presents. I have to leave him.’

  Lisa sighed. Relieved she no longer had a fight on her hands.

  ‘I’m going to have to call Mum and Dad and tell them to start the party without me. Where will I get more sandwiches?’ Beth couldn’t stand the thought of those men touching the bread intended for all the innocent children in Megan’s class.

  ‘Don’t worry about that. No sandwiches at a party isn’t the end of the world. You just need to get out. NOW.’

  ‘OK. I know, I know.’ Beth ran upstairs and into the bedroom she’d shared with James for eleven years. She took down their one and only suitcase from the top of the wardrobe, and threw in a few of her favourite clothes. Switching the case to Megan’s tiny room, she added some of her stuff. As her school uniform came to hand, Beth was suddenly sad for James, he was going to miss all this. He wasn’t going to get to see her as she skipped down the street to school.

  ‘Stop it. He doesn’t deserve your sympathy.’

  ‘You’re right, I know you are but … he does love her. He is a good dad, he just …’

  The front door opened, scaring the living daylights out of them. Beth assumed it was the men returning. Had they decided, perhaps, that pillaging wasn’t enough, and they wanted to rape too?

  At the sound of heavy footsteps stamping up the stairs, she ran to the door and silently closed it.

  She heard the footsteps make their way into her bedroom and then a voice called out. ‘Hello?’

  It was James. She let out a sigh of relief. Opening Megan’s door, she met him on the tiny landing. They barely fitted.

  ‘Are you OK? Did they hurt you? Where’s Megan?’

  Beth shook her head as anger exploded out of her. ‘She’s safe. But, James, you knew they were coming here today!’

  He looked devastated. ‘I thought I could stop them. My mate promised he’d help me … I’ve been trying to …’

  ‘You’ve been trying to sort it by more gambling!’

  ‘YES. I FLAMIN’ WELL HAVE.’

  ‘Don’t you dare get angry at me. You have no right whatsoever to be the angry one in this situation.’

  ‘Look, I’ve got some money. I’m going to go and give it to them. I think it’s enough to ‒’

  ‘They took the keys to the house. They could come back tomorrow.’

  ‘They won’t. I’ll sort it. I’ll change the locks. I’ll ‒’

  ‘NO! I don’t want to hear anything more. I’m leaving. You do what you like. You change the locks. You try to sort it all out. You pay them what you’ve got. I can’t be a part of this any more.’

  ‘Beth, you’re over reacting. It’s ‒’

  She was so angry, she shoved James backwards. ‘Get a grip of yourself. How dare you accuse me of over reacting. I’ve put up with this for years. You’ve put me and Megan in severe danger today. Thank God she’d already gone with Mum. They could’ve …’ Beth swallowed hard. ‘We’re leaving you.’ She turned to collect the suitcase, which was lying on Megan’s bed.

  His eyes locked onto the case. ‘No. No way!’

  ‘Yes way. We’re going.’

  ‘You’re taking my daughter away? You know how much I love her. You can’t just …’ He moved himself in between her and their daughter’s room, blocking her way.

  ‘You don’t love her enough to keep her safe, James. You don’t love me enough either.’ Beth was crying now, great wracking sobs. If he thought it was easy for her to give up on him, he was wrong.

  ‘I can keep you both safe. I will from now on. I’ll ‒’

  ‘We’ll sort something out. I’ll not stop you seeing her. But she can’t live here any longer. And neither can I.’ She tried to push past him to get the case. If she could just grab it and make her way downstairs, she could get in touch with her mum and dad, and ask one of them to collect her. The party would be ruined, yes, but there would be other parties. For now she just needed to collect their clothes and get out.

  ‘So, I get to see my daughter once a fortnight. I get to sit in McDonald’s with all the other part-time dads. You’d do that to me?’

  ‘Look what you did to me!’ She held up her left hand. ‘They took Nanna’s ring. I’m pretty sure they would’ve taken the finger too if I hadn’t managed to get the rings off.’

  ‘I just told you, I’ll change. I’ll sort it.’

  ‘Get out of my way. You’re not even listening to me any more.’

  In the next second, they both took a step at the same time. Beth’s was towards Megan’s room, and James’s was towards her.

  As James shouted, ‘You’re not taking her away,’ their feet entwined, and Beth lost her balance. She tried to get her body stable by flaying her arms about. James’s face appeared before her. He still had the sneer from his last sentence. Then she watched his expression change, as they both realised, at the same time, that Beth was about to fall down the stairs.

  It would’ve been better if she’d bumped her way down the stairs, bouncing off each step. She may well have broken an arm or a leg during the fall, but it would, no doubt, have been less dramatic. As it was, she fell backwards down the narrow stairs without once touching the sides. As she dropped, like one of her pennies down the precinct’s wishing well, James disappeared into the distance.

  She seemed to be falling in slow motion, even James’s
shouts were slow. She could make out the fact that his mouth was opening and closing, and it was clear he was terrified for her, but his voice was slow and echoey, and she couldn’t decipher his words.

  ‘Let me out.’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Yes. Let me take the hit.’

  Beth was amazed there was time for this conversation. How was she falling so slowly? ‘But … this is my mistake.’

  ‘I mean it. Let me out. You come back here.’

  ‘You don’t need to do this for me.’

  ‘I want to. Let me out, please?’ Lisa was growing desperate.

  ‘It’s going to hurt, isn’t it?’

  ‘Not if you come back here.’

  ‘That’s not fair, it’ll just hurt you instead.’

  ‘I don’t mind.’

  Beth was about halfway down the stairs already. If she was going to swap, it needed to be soon. Even at a time like this, the guilt wasn’t far away. ‘You shouldn’t have to suffer. You never wanted me to stay with him. If I’d left sooner …’

  ‘Don’t worry about all that now. There isn’t time. Swap!’

  There were four steps left. They needed to decide now who was going to be on the outside when Beth’s body hit the floor.

  ‘LET ME OUT!’ Lisa screamed.

  ‘What are you going to do?’

  ‘I’m going to try and save your life!’

  ‘But what if it’s serious for you?’

  ‘Don’t you get it? Don’t you see? I wasn’t meant for this world. I can’t live like this any more. Let me do this for you, please? Even if it kills me … I’ll only be back where I started.’

  Beth was scared. She was scared of the pain that was surely about to shoot through her head. She was scared of dying. And she was scared of killing the sister whom she’d already saved once. The same sister who’d driven her crazy for over thirty years.

  With only a fraction of a second left, Lisa had no option other than to play her trump card. ‘Do it for Megan, she needs her mummy.’