Book Read Free

Love and Hate (The Pierce Family Trilogy)

Page 17

by Chelsea Ballinger


  I continue listening and realize it is Clarity by Zedd. I love this song. It’s on my IPOD.

  “Claudia it’s on your IPOD!”

  I laugh at Jade and shake my head.

  “Come on shorty let’s dance” Jade yanks Emile out of his seat.

  I watch them as they go through the crowd.

  “Well I think the lyrics are kind of ironic.” Donovan says.

  I look back at him, enjoying the sight of my golden perfection.

  “Come on” I pull him out of his seat.

  I guide him through the middle of the crowd where our friends are. I see they are getting pretty friendly on the dance floor. I let the music hit me as I begin dancing with Jade. Emile dances funny while Donovan tries to stay cool, not wanting to move too much. I smile and pull him close to me. I place his hands on my waist; I wrap my arms around his neck. Before I know it I’m mouthing out the lyrics to him.

  “Cause you are the piece of me, I wish I didn’t need

  Chasing relentlessly, I still fight and I don’t know why

  If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy

  If our love is insanity, why are you my clarity”

  He is twirling me and dipping me down. I never knew he had dance moves.

  Us being together is insane, but at the same time it’s not, he’s my happiness. He’s my remedy and clarity.

  Not being able to hold in my happiness any longer, I press my lips against his passionately with so much need and urgency. I push through his lips bringing my tongue to his. I lick his bottom lip and bite it. I love doing that.

  He stops for a minute looking at me with more desire, but also love. He gives me that drop dead gorgeous smile and kisses me again. I slide my fingers through his hair as his hands press me against him like he never wants to let me go. I don’t want him to let me go. It’s like a scene from a movie that I want to keep rewinding over and over again. I feel everyone moving around us, dancing, enjoying the moment and escaping their realities. But, Donovan is not only my fantasy, he’s my reality.

  Right now in this moment of clarity, I feel alive and it is all because of Donovan Pierce.

  Chapter

  9

  “Say It First”

  Donovan

  Spring Break is here and everyone is excited for their big trips planned. The school was taking us to Paris. This is cool, except I’m not going. My parents think I am, but instead I’m going out to the country to my great uncle’s estate…. with Claudia.

  We wanted to be together somehow and have a week to ourselves, but we didn’t know how that was going to happen. Emile actually gave me the idea. He told me how I should start using the fact that I’m rich to take Claudia somewhere. He suggested a hotel in New York, but I wanted to take her somewhere isolated where no one could find us. So I remembered my great Uncle Billy’s house out in Edison, New York which was about an hour from Eastbrook. It’s an old Victorian style house with a pool in the middle of nowhere. It’s literally in the middle of nowhere. I swear it’s like an hour away from the nearest gas station.

  I have it all planned. Claudia and I will act like we were going on the school trip and Emile and Jade would cover for us when we asked our parents if we could go. Than Jade whose parents are never around hired her family’s driver, Adam, to drive us to our isolated paradise.

  So here I am now in the car with Emile who is dropping me off at a gas station, before he goes to the airport. Emile sees this Paris trip as an opportunity to get Jade in bed.

  “I actually dig her man, I love that attitude and how feisty she is.”

  I look at Emile who is going on and on about Jade. Emile is 5’4 and Jade is 5’8 at least, so it would be hilarious to see them together, but Emile has his way with the ladies in spite of what people think.

  “And that long blond hair I just want to pull on it and smack her---

  “Emile!” Too much info. “I got it”

  “So I guess you’re definitely getting some this week.” He doesnt change the subject, but focuses the attention on me and Claudia.

  “I don’t know”

  “What do you mean you don’t know? D, you’re going to be with her…. by yourself …. For a week.”

  No shit.

  “I know. I just don’t know man, you know how I feel about her, so I’m willing to take things slow.”

  “School is almost done. You guys have been doing this for what? Two months? I mean I know you love her and all that, but you’re telling me you’re not at least anxious to tap that.”

  Of course I am. Every time I get close to her, I have to go home and take a cold ass shower.

  “Whatever happens, happens okay?” I say, hoping he drops it.

  Of course I’m anxious. I want her more than anything. I want to satisfy her in more ways than one, but I don’t want to push her. Yeah, she isn’t a virgin, but still I want her first time with me to be special. So, yeah, maybe I am kind of scared. Now, granted I’m not an amateur when it comes to pleasing women and sex, but Claudia is someone I want to take my time with. I’ve slept with a lot of girls and women. Ranging from the age of sixteen, the girl I lost my virginity to when I was fourteen, to twenty eight, the age of the woman in London who was my aunt’s friend. Her name was Melody and she definitely taught me some things, but all that really doesn’t compare to Claudia. I guess it is true what they say when you’re in love. In the end no matter how many women you sleep with, none of them compare to that one. The one you want in your life forever. The one you want to marry and start a family with one day. Your soul mate.

  Shit, what the hell am I talking about? I’m jumping the gun aren’t I? I mean marriage? Kids? I’m only eighteen! Then again I think the only reason why I’m freaked out is because thinking about a future with her doesn’t really freak me out.

  “There she is.” I look out the car to see her standing by the town car Jade got for us. She looks beautiful. Every time I look at her my heart just fills up with so much warmth and serenity.

  “So remember to call your folks and I will remember to tell everyone you went to New York, but didn’t tell your parents.” Emile says.

  “Yeah.” I step out of the car. I grab my bag out of the backseat and walk to Emile’s window. “Thanks Bro.”

  “No problem man.” He didn’t have to do any of this, but he did. He isn’t Christian, but he is like a brother to me.

  “Hey Donovan! He yells out to me. “Remember to do pushups! It makes you look bigger!” He laughs than pulls off.

  That little shit.

  Claudia

  “This is nice.” I say as we step out of the car, gawking at the tall golden brick stone Victorian house that also looks like a mini castle. Damn. How rich is Donovan’s family.

  “Don’t take this the wrong way, but how rich is your family?”

  “Um, well my great uncle Billy was not cut out for the mob so he decided to invest in casinos.”

  “I heard the mob owns those too.” I don’t think I heard that, but I saw that movie Casino, with Robert De Niro and Sharon Stone.

  “Well not all of them, but some. My uncle did it without my grandfather’s help.”

  “Where is he?”

  “In Vegas. He barely comes here anymore. Come on I’ll give you the tour.”

  After the tour of the eight bedrooms and ten bathroom house, Donovan and I went to the kitchen with our groceries we bought on the way and made dinner. I’m not a great cook, but Donovan is gifted. He made this steak and pasta Alfredo that was to die for. When we get married, he is the cook because I’m only good at takeout.

  Married? Claudia get a grip!

  That’s the fourth time I thought about the future with Donovan and what he would be like as a husband or a father. I bet he would be a great father.

  Snap out of it. I mean you’re eighteen. You have your whole life ahead of you and you don’t even know what you want to do in life yet? Well actually I do, I want to be a writer. I love books and so does
Donovan, he read one of my short stories and loved it. I told him my dad wants me to be a lawyer or probably a stay at home wife to Eric, but I don’t want any of that. I want to move to New York City and write. This has been my dream since I was twelve. Donovan wants to move back to New York too. He doesn’t know what he wants to do yet, but I told him he would figure it out when the time is right. Everyone expects him to be a gangster or whatever, but he really doesn’t want that. I can tell he is scared that’s his only option though.

  “Maybe you could own a restaurant.”

  “What?” He says looking confused. I’m confused that I said it, but he is good with cooking and I see him as a boss instead of an employee. Donovan isn’t good at taking orders.

  “I mean, I feel like you’re the kind of person who owns something, so why not a restaurant. You could go to school and study business and maybe culinary arts, I don’t know.”

  I can’t tell by his blank stare what he is thinking. I shouldn’t have said anything.

  “I’m sorry. I’ll shut up. It was stupid.”

  “No” I look up as he leans in closer to me. “I think that’s a great suggestion. My mom actually told me she use to want her own restaurant.”

  “Why didn’t she?”

  “She met my dad and fell in love, and by the time she had Christian, she didn’t care anymore. Family was always important.”

  “Well at least she’s happy.”

  “Yeah.” He looks down. When he does that, I can tell something is wrong.

  “Donovan what’s wrong?”

  He glances at the fire place and shakes his head.

  “I just.” He pauses than looks at me. “I just hope she is happy. I just want my family to be happy.”

  “Why would you think they’re not?”

  “Because it’s not the same without Christian, my mom and dad lost a son, and my sister lost a brother.”

  “So did you” Why does he do that? From what I can understand his family loves him so why does he act like he is nothing?

  He stands up from the couch and walks closer to the fire place.

  “Sometimes I wish I could just go back and do things differently. I have these nightmares that I’m Christian. It’s like I can see what he went through that night. I can see the face of the man who shot him, but it’s blurry. Then there’s that ring. I’ll never forget the silver ring with a red ruby in it. It’s a championship ring, I googled it to see, but there were so many rings from so many different schools that I couldn’t find anything. My dad and Benny did too, but from what I heard from my sister there are about half a million guys with football rings like that one in the state of New York.”

  “Well, maybe the police will find something.”

  “Come on Claud, don’t do that.” He turns around to me. I continue sitting on the couch staring up at him. I shouldn’t have said that. “The police don’t care. I’m not trying to insult your dad, but they just don’t.”

  I can see the hurt in his eyes as he stares at me. All I want to do is hold him until the pain goes away. Donovan has been through so much that I feel he gives up hope. I’m scared maybe he will give up on me.

  “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.” I say as I rise up from the couch and hug him.

  “It’s okay. I’m sorry too. I just miss him.”

  “I know.” I look at him. “But Donovan you have to remember that your family loves you. If the roles were reversed and it was Christian who survived and you who died, the pain would have been the same no matter what. God forbid if it was both of you the pain would have been a million times worse. Don’t doubt the people you love don’t love you back, or that you don’t matter. You are one of the most amazing people I know, and a part of that is because of your family.”

  He pulls me closer into a hug. I hold on to him tighter.

  This is the moment where we should say I love you right?

  The moment where after we declare our feelings for each other we make love, right? It’s not happening though because I’m scared.

  I am madly and deeply in love with him and it scares the hell out of me.

  Donovan

  Nothing happened last night.

  We just layed together and went to sleep. It was really…

  What’s the word I’m looking for?

  Intimate.

  It’s like the more I tell her the more I love her. The things she said to me last night, like me one day owning a restaurant and how I matter to my family are things my dumb ass already know, but I’m just too stupid to get over my problems.

  Now I’m watching her in my uncle’s pool and all I can think about is how much I want her. She looks so sexy right now in this black bikini. I’m over here just contemplating how I want to peel off the fabric and expose her naked body.

  I wanted to tell her last night. I wanted to tell her that I love her, but I just couldn’t. This is so stupid. I’m pissed. I’m even pissed at her for making me feel this way, but loving her at the same damn time for it.

  I hear my phone buzz next to me and grab it to see who is texting me.

  Emile: You hit it yet?!!

  Emile that idiot.

  Go Away!

  Emile: Well I got some!

  Hmmm. Well the little shit got Jade, I assume.

  Jade?

  Emile: YES!!! I’m In Love!

  Claudia

  What is he laughing about?

  I lean against the wall in the pool, resting my chin on my hands as I watch Donovan laugh to himself while he looks at his phone.

  He shouldn’t be laughing at a time like this. I think I’m kind of pissed at him. Unfair, I know. I mean I didn’t make a move or say I love you either, but why should I? I’m the girl. Well I don’t really know what the rules are when it comes to this stuff, but damn it I want him to say it first. I’m selfish, so what? Then I think to myself I shouldn’t be, but then I think again I should. I don’t know, this is excruciating.

  My thoughts are interrupted by the sound of my phone ringing. I get out the pool and walk towards the chair where my phone is. It’s Jade. I laugh to myself at the caller ID picture of her holding up two champagne bottles and twerking at the same time. It’s hilarious.

  “Hey” I answer.

  “Oh My God! Claudia I did something completely horrible!” Jade sounds crazy. I hope she didn’t tell anybody where I was! “I… had… sex with the midget.”

  I burst out laughing hysterically. Oh my God, Jade and Emile?! This is a priceless moment.

  “It’s not funny!” She snaps at me.

  “I’m sorry.” I can’t stop laughing. “It’s not.”

  “Oh My God my slut days are officially over because I have gone off the deep end.”

  “Well, you’re right you should stop being a slut, but you have to admit we all saw it coming.”

  “No! No we didn’t! Don’t say that!”

 

‹ Prev