Reckless Love m-1

by Elizabeth Lowell

  Janna tried to smile, couldn’t, and said simply, “Thank you.”

  “There’s a fiesty zebra dun in the corral. That fool brother of mine packed more than a hundred pounds of gold all over Utah Territory for three weeks looking for that zebra mare. Sixty pounds of that gold is now in a bank waiting for you to draw on it. The MacKenzies will honor Ty’s promise to see that Mad Jack’s half gets to his kids.”

  “Half of my gold is Ty’s.”

  Case shook his head. “No.”

  Janna started to object again. Case watched her with the patience of a granite cliff. She could object all she wanted and nothing would change.

  When Case saw that Janna understood, he bowed to her more deeply than custom required and released her hand.

  “You’re free, Janna. All promises kept.”

  Chapter Forty-Five

  The oil lamps in Janna’s room turned her tears to gold, but that was the only outward sign of her unhappiness. Cream leather shoes stood neatly next to the armoire. Pale silk pantalets were folded neatly on the chair. Hoops and petticoats were hung out of the way. Earrings and necklace and brooch rested in an open, velvet-lined box. All that stood between Janna and freedom was the maddening fastenings on her ball gown. The dress had been designed for ladies who had maids in attendance, not for a mustang girl who had nothing but her own ill-trained fingers and a burning need never to see or touch or be reminded of silk again.

  “Allow me.”

  Janna spun so quickly toward the door that candle flames bowed and trembled.

  Ty stood in the doorway watching her, but he was a different man. Gone was the rough frontiersman. Ty was clean shaven except for a black mustache. He smelled of soap and wore polished black boots, black slacks and a white linen shirt whose weave was so fine it shone like silk. He looked precisely like what he was: a powerful, uncommonly handsome man who had been born and raised to wealth and fine manners, a man who had every right to require that the mother of his children be of equal refinement.

  Janna turned away and said carefully, “I can manage, thank you. Please close the door on your way out.”

  There was silence, then the sound of a door shutting behind Janna’s back. She bit her lip against the pain ripping through her body.

  “A gentleman never leaves a lady in distress.”

  Janna froze with her hands behind her back, still reaching for the elusive fastenings that held her confined within a silken prison.

  ”But I’m not a lady, so your fine manners are wasted. Nor am I pregnant, so you needn’t feel dutiful.”

  The bleakness of Janna’s voice made Ty’s eyes narrow. He came and stood behind her, so close that he could sense her warmth.

  “Case told me,” Ty said.

  His nostrils flared at the fragrance of crushed roses that emanated from her skin and hair. Memories blazed for an instant in his eyes. He brushed her hands away from the fastenings that went down the back of her dress.

  “You’re a satin butterfly,” Ty said, unfastening the dress slowly, feeling a hunger to touch her that was deeper and more complex than a desire, a hunger that tightened his body as each tiny hook silently gave way, revealing a bit more of Janna’s skin. “And I’m going to release you from your cocoon.”

  Ty’s long index finger traced the graceful centerline of Janna’s back. She made a stifled sound as the dress fell away, leaving her naked. Ty had never seen anything quite so beautiful as her elegant feminine curves. He traced her spine once more, following it to the shadow crease of her hips.

  “During the war, Case kept his sanity by walling off his emotions,” Ty said quietly. “I kept my sanity in a different way. I swore that I would never see such ugliness again. If I survived, I vowed to surround myself with fine and fragile things that had never known even the shadow of violence and death. Every time grapeshot ripped through living flesh, every time I saw young children with empty eyes, every time one of my men died��� I renewed my vow.”

  Eyes closed, body trembling, Janna felt the lingering caress of Ty’s fingertip tracing her spine; but it was the pain in his voice that broke her heart and her control. She had loved him recklessly, without regard for the future cost. Now the future had come to demand its reckoning.

  “It’s all right, Ty,” she said huskily. “I understand. You’ve earned your silken lady. I won’t-”

  Janna’s voice shattered as Ty’s hands caressed the length of her back before smoothing up her torso until her breasts were cupped in his hands.

  “Run away?” Ty offered, finishing Janna’s sentence for her. The feel of her nipples hardening at his lightest touch made blood rush in a torrent through his body. “That’s good, because touching you makes me so damn weak that I can hardly stand, much less run after you.” With aching gentleness he caressed the breasts whose textures and responsiveness never ceased to arouse him. “So soft, so warm. No, hold still, love. It’s all right. We’re going to be married just as soon as I find the strength to leave this room and round up a preacher.”

  “Ty���” Janna’s throat closed around all the tears she hadn’t shed, all the dreams that couldn’t come true. “You have to let me go.”

  “Why?” His long fingers shaped her, caressed her, made her tremble with a wild longing. “You want me as much as I want you. Have I told you how much I like that? No games, no coyness, just the sweet response of your body to my touch.”

  Janna bit off a telltale moan and asked desperately, “Did your parents love each other?”

  Ty’s hands stilled in surprise. “Yes. Why?”

  “Think how you would have felt if they hadn’t. Think how a child would feel growing up and knowing that his father felt a combination of desire and duty and disappointment toward his mother. Your child deserves better than that. So do you. And,” Janna added softly, “so do I. Seeing you, having your body but not your heart��� It will break me, Ty. Is that what you want?”

  Gently Ty turned Janna around. She met his eyes without evasion despite the slow, helpless welling of her tears.

  “Janna,” he said softly, bending down to her, “I-”

  She turned her head aside and spoke quickly, interrupting Ty, words tumbling out in a desperate effort to be heard. “No. Please listen to me. Please. I may not be fine or fragile, but even mustang ladies can be broken. You said once you owed me more than you could ever repay. You can repay me now. Let me go, Ty. Let me go before I break.”

  Eyes closed, hands clenched into fists at her side so that she wouldn’t reach for the man she loved too much ever to cage, Janna waited for Ty to leave. She heard him make a hoarse sound that could have been anger or pain, sensed currents of air moving as he moved, and she trembled with the violence of her emotions.

  Tears touched the sensitive skin between her breasts, and she was shocked to know how hot her own tears were. Then she felt Ty’s cheek against her body, saw him kneeling at her feet, felt his arms close tightly around her waist, and she realized that the scalding tears weren’t her own.

  Moved beyond words, Janna stroked Ty’s hair with trembling hands, feeling as though she were being torn apart. She had thought she could leave him, but every instant she was with him told her how wretched life without him would be.

  “I won’t let you go,” Ty said finally. “Don’t ask me to. Don’t beg me to. I can’t do it, Janna. I need you too much.”

  “Ty, don’t,” she whispered achingly, trying to still the trembling of her body, failing. “I want so much for you to have your dream.”

  “I dreamed of you every minute I was away. You’re my dream, Janna. I went back to get that gold for you, not for myself. I couldn’t close my eyes without seeing you, couldn’t lick my lips without tasting you, couldn’t sleep for wanting you. Then I walked into that ballroom and saw the perfect silken lady of my dreams dancing with the perfect silken man. And I wasn’t that man. I went-crazy. I wanted very much to kill that high-nosed son of a blue-blooded bitch for even looking at you.”


  “But you said-you said that you’d seen past the clothes, that I wasn’t a fragile silken lady.”

  “Yes, I’d seen past the clothes, and I thank God for it.”

  Ty turned his head slowly, kissing the smooth breasts that smelled of roses.

  “Listen to me, Janna. There’s far more to being a lady than silks and bloodlines. A true lady is more concerned with the needs of the people around her than she is with the state of her wardrobe. A true lady gives succor to the sick, laughter to the lonely, respite to the weary. And to one very, very lucky man, a true lady gives herself��� and asks nothing in return but that she be allowed to give the gift of her love.”

  Ty smoothed his cheek between Janna’s breasts, absorbing the beauty of her living warmth. “That kind of gift is so rare that it takes a man by surprise.”

  He kissed the velvet tips of Janna’s breasts, smiled to hear her breath break and tremble even as her body did. His mouth caressed the smooth skin of her stomach and the auburn cloud at the apex of her thighs.

  “My sweet satin butterfly,” he said in a low voice. “Let me love you again.” His hand eased between her legs and he groaned to feel her heat once more. ” Janna��� please, let me.”

  Janna’s knees gave way at the first gliding penetration of his caress. Ty’s arm tightened, holding her still for a searing instant while he was still within her warmth. Her breath unraveled as he slowly released her, leaving her body shimmering and without the strength to stand.

  With a dark yet oddly tender smile, Ty caught Janna and came to his feet, taking the warm weight of her in his arms once more. He walked the few steps to the bed, put her on the fur coverlet and kissed her lips gently before he stepped back and unhurriedly removed his own clothes, watching her with smoldering green eyes the whole time.

  When he was as naked as she, he lay next to her on the bed, gathered her against his body and kissed her as tenderly as though she were a frightened maiden. The caresses he gave her were equally restrained, almost chaste, but his words were elemental fire.

  “Your body is all satin, strong and hot and sleek. You’re perfect for a man who is more rawhide than silk. For me, Janna. Just for me. You are��� perfect.”

  Janna’s breath caught, then broke when Ty’s hand smoothed down her body. She didn’t deny him the intimate warmth he so gently sought. She could no more have refused him than she could have told her heart to stop beating. Nor could she hold back the shimmering pulse of her pleasure, the heat that welled up and overflowed at his touch; and she cried out his name with each pulse.

  The evidence of Janna’s need for him was an exquisite shaft of pleasure so intense that it was also pain. Ty groaned and sought her secret warmth once again, and once again she didn’t deny him. Eyes closed, he bent and kissed her lips, her breasts, the taut curve of her belly, trying to tell her things for which there were no words. And then her fingers threaded lovingly through his hair and the words came to him.

  “Once,” Ty whispered, “I saw Lucifer go to you, put his head into your hands with such trust that I was reminded of the legend of the unicorn and the maiden. It made me��� restless, baffled, angry. I felt sorry for the unicorn, trapped by his reckless love.

  “And then the maiden opened her hands and let the unicorn go, for she loved the unicorn too much to hold it against its will.”

  Janna’s fingers stilled until Ty’s head shifted against her palms, asking to be stroked once more, asking to be held by her touch even as the unicorn had been held.

  “The unicorn ran off and congratulated himself on his clever escape, and then���” Ty turned slowly, covering Janna’s body with his own. He touched the hot center of her just once, slowly, drawing a long, broken moan from her. “And then,” Ty whispered, watching Janna’s eyes, “the unicorn realized what a fool he had been. There was nothing in the forest as exciting as the maiden’s touch, no beauty to equal her companionship, no pleasure as deep as the ease she had given his soul. So he went running back and begged to be given the maiden’s gift once more.”

  When Ty neither spoke nor moved to join their bodies, Janna’s heart hesitated, then beat with redoubled strength.

  “What did the maiden say?” she whispered.

  “I don’t know. Tell me, Janna. What did the maiden say to the unicorn?”

  Tears magnified Janna’s eyes. “I love you,” she said huskily. “I’ll always love you.”

  She felt the emotion that shuddered through Ty’s strong body as he bent and kissed her tears away.

  “Yes,” Ty said, watching Janna’s eyes. “I want you to be my wife, my mate, my woman, the mother of my children, the keeper of my heart, the light of my soul. I love you, Janna. I love you.”

  Janna reached for Ty even as he came to her. Their bodies merged, softness and strength shared equally, defining and discovering one another in the same elemental moment. Ecstasy blazed as they lost and then found themselves, man and woman forever joined in the reckless, incandescent union known as love.

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