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Sleeping with the Dictionary

Page 5

by Mullen, Harryette


  as dog collar as expected

  as oboes as anyone

  as umbrella as catch can

  as penmanship as it gets

  as narcosis as could be

  as hit parade as all that

  as icebox as far as I know

  as fax machine as one can imagine

  as cyclones as hoped

  as dictionary as you like

  as shadow as promised

  as drinking fountain as well

  as grassfire as myself

  as mirror as is

  as never as this

  Xenophobic Nightmare in a Foreign Language

  waking up with Enrique Chagoya

  Whereas, in the opinion of the Government of the United States the coming of bitter labor to this country endangers the good order of certain localities within the territory thereof:

  Therefore, be it enacted by the Senate and House of Representatives of the United States of America in Congress assembled,

  That from and after the expiration of ninety days next after the passage of this act, and until the expiration of ten years next after the passage of this act, the coming of bitter labor to the United States be, and the same is hereby, suspended; and during such suspension it shall not be lawful for any bitter labor to come, or, having so come after the expiration of said ninety days, to remain within the United States.

  That the master of any vessel who shall knowingly bring within the United States on such vessel, and land or permit to be landed, any bitter labor, from any foreign port or place, shall be deemed guilty of a misdemeanor, and on conviction thereof shall be punished by a fine of not more than five hundred dollars for each and every such bitter labor so brought, and may be also imprisoned for a term not exceeding one year.

  That any person who shall knowingly bring into or cause to be brought into the United States by land, or who shall knowingly aid or abet the same, or aid or abet the landing in the United States from any vessel of any bitter labor not lawfully entitled to enter the United States, shall be deemed guilty of a misdemeanor, and shall, on conviction thereof, be fined in a sum not exceeding one thousand dollars, and imprisoned for a term not exceeding one year.

  That no bitter labor shall be permitted to enter the United States by land without producing to the proper officer of customs the certificate in this act required of bitter labor seeking to land from a vessel. And any bitter labor found unlawfully within the United States shall be caused to be removed therefrom to the country from whence they came, by direction of the United States, after being brought before some justice, judge, or commissioner of a court of the United States and found to be not lawfully entitled to be or remain in the United States.

  May 6, 1882

  X-ray Vision

  You don’t need X-ray vision to see through me.

  No super power’s required to penetrate my defense.

  Without listening to your mother’s rant

  you can tell that my motives are transparent.

  A sturdy intuition could give you

  the strong impression that my logic is flimsy.

  Before the flat lady sang the first note of the book,

  you knew that my story was thin.

  Zen Acorn

  for Bob Kaufman

  a frozen

  indian acorn

  a frozen

  indiana corn

  afro zen

  indian acorn

  afro zen

  indiana corn

  a zen fro

  in diana corn

  frozen fan

  in zero canadian

  indian corn for

  arizona nonradiance

  a narco dozen

  faze an african

  Zombie Hat

  Greatest thing since Texas toast,

  the ever-popular zombie hat

  flies off the shelf

  like sandwich loaf.

  For your tête-à-tête

  with a headhunter, or chat with a shrink,

  zombie hat’s the right think.

  You’ll look like a hero

  in your zombie sombrero.

  Don’t forget to wear your hat.

  It’s what the head cheese ordered, stat.

  Statistics show the zombie hat

  helps to maintain social stasis.

  With the right fit,

  you’ll brim with social graces.

  We recommend it for all our head cases.

  Meet every problem head on,

  so long as you keep a lid on.

  Designer: Nola Burger

  Compositor: BookMatters, Berkeley

  Text: 11/16 Fournier

  Display: Univers Condensed Light

  Printer and binder: Rose Printing Company, Inc.

 

 

 


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