Until Then

by J. L. Rizzo

  “I don’t want to be a rebound girl for you, Crew,” she says behind my ear, causing me to suddenly pull back and scrutinize her beautiful face. Does she really think that?

  “I couldn’t stop thinking about you this past year, despite how hard I tried,” she brushes her hand on the back of my neck. “I told myself not to miss you, but I remembered everything you said to me.” She smiles, tears welling in her eyes. “I had the time of my life out there. But now I’m here. With you.”

  I brush her hair back from her face, resisting the urge to devour her. “You could never be my rebound girl, Summer. Because you can’t rebound from nothing.” I brush my finger down her cheek. “Without you, I’m nothing.”

  Her breath tickles my lips; they’re aching to be touched.

  “And with you, I’m nobody.”

  I have to fight the tears building up behind my closed eyes. This. Right here. This is where I want to be. With Summer. At my home. Hopeful for a future with her.

  “Why don’t you want to be a part of my life?” she asks hesitantly.

  Oh, Summer.

  “I do,” I whisper. “I swear to God, I do.”

  Her sad gaze confesses her disbelief.

  “Summer,” I wrap my hand around her jaw to the back of her neck. “I’ve been waiting for you since I was five years old.”

  Crushing her lips to mine, Summer kisses me like I’m the air she needs to breathe.

  17.

  Summer

  “Summer.”

  Crew’s soft moan is both painful and erotic. His kiss is so passionate, as if he has to kiss me and waited almost too long for it. Squeezing my shoulders, he presses me into him so that I feel his body. His hard biceps are strong and bulging. His tight pec muscles push against me with every press of my body. His hands find my hair and tug gently with command.

  I move my legs to straddle him, taking him by surprise, feeling him swell under me. I kiss him like I’ve wanted to kiss him since we were on the piano…one year ago. I kiss him with all the angst built up over the last 12 months. I kiss him as if I won’t see him until next year.

  My hands are all over him, exploring him, running through his hair and down his chest. He’s muscular everywhere, and the idea of seeing him completely naked excites me to the point where I almost combust.

  “Summer,” he pulls back. “What are you doing to me?” he breathes harshly.

  Running my fingers down his shirt, I pull it up, surprising myself with my own audacity. But I can’t help it. It’s an unstoppable feeling. I brush my fingers over his taut abs as my mind forms a picture of his naked body. It’s a mouthwatering sight. “Touching you. Kissing you. Enjoying you.” I feel him grow harder underneath me.

  His body heaves for breath, his chest rises and falls with boundless energy.

  “We’ve been here before, Crew.” I lightly kiss the corner of his mouth. “This time, I don’t want to stop.”

  “I’m not asking you to stop.” He puts his hands on my hips and squeezes them toward him, causing me to press my chest flush with his. “It wouldn’t be fair considering that I can’t stop what you do to me.”

  Wrapping my hands around his shoulders, I deepen our kiss. It’s full of longing and angst and all the things we’ve been needing to say to one another. Feeling his hands roam around my back, his fingers gripping down my shoulders makes me more eager.

  Sitting up straight, I grab the corners of my top and slowly lift my shirt over my head, hearing him hiss through clenched teeth at the sight of my sheer pink bra. “I want you, Crew. Please. I can’t wait another minute.”

  His eyes move back to my breasts, and he releases one hand to circle his finger around my nipple causing it to harden. My breasts swell at his touch, and I throw my head back, moaning in ecstasy.

  He’s barely touched me.

  I lean in to his neck, brushing my lips along his jaw. His skin smells so good, even more intoxicating with his arousal. His fluttering breath confesses his excitement. He’s strung so tight, ready for me. He groans and pushes up to me so beautifully that I let out a soft hum.

  “Summer —” His voice is pained, achingly soft. I sit up to look into his emerald eyes. Then he leans me back and catches my breast in his mouth, sucking gently on the tender center.

  Oh. My. Lord.

  My heartbeat races like the staccato notes of a quick melody, fluttering up and down the keys, controlled yet unstoppable.

  Crew cups my face, his lips pressing to mine so hard it’s like he’s begging for my kiss. I reach down between us to free his button and zipper. He tenses.

  “Summer —”

  “Crew,” I whisper into his lips. “Please.”

  “Why, Summer?” he murmurs.

  I kiss him fervently, with all that my heart can give, simply because he’s thinking of me right now, making sure I’m in the right frame of mind for this to happen.

  “Because I feel good when I’m with you,” I kiss him. “Because I want to feel more with you.”

  He pulls back, staring hard into my eyes, silently asking, Are you sure?

  “Yes. Please take me, Crew.”

  His exhale is pained and carnal. Then he stands up abruptly, wrapping my legs around him. I tangle my arms around his neck, never breaking our kiss as he walks to another part of the house. He stops to lay me down on a vast bed, half naked and needy for his touch.

  He slides off of me and stands, pinning me to the bed with just his eyes. He looks at me with dark want, and I revel in the command he takes. Feeling so aroused, my chest heaves with the air I force myself to suck in.

  Crew bends and starts taking off my boots then moves to my jeans. His deft fingers make quick work of the button fly, pulling it in one fell tug and yanking my jeans down off of my legs. “You’re so fucking beautiful.” He licks his lips then tugs his shirt up over his head in that hot, masculine way, so virile and strong. Holy hell. He’s so gorgeous, every muscle chiseled and hard. His hips even come down to form the “V” pointing straight down. Without removing his jeans, he crawls on top of me, placing one knee between my legs.

  “Crew, please,” I groan. I just need him inside me now before I explode from anticipation.

  “Shhh, Summer. I’ve got you.” He kisses me hard, his other hand trickling down my body and into my panties to find my sex drenched with want. “Oh, baby,” he groans while pushing a finger inside me. “You want me as much as I want you.”

  “I can’t help it,” I pant.

  “I don’t want you to help it.”

  “Why are you still dressed?” I gasp.

  He smiles against my mouth. “I need to get you ready. I don’t want to hurt you.” He moves his finger slowly in and out, teasing me, then sliding another finger inside. The fullness, the pressure, it feels too good. I tilt my hips to meet his rhythm. Over and over again. Kissing and teasing and growing my need to have him. It’s impossible to think. All I can do is feel, feel his arousal, feel my need for him, feel myself swell and soften for him.

  “Please, Crew,” I beg.

  He withdraws his hand and reaches to the bedside table behind him for a foil packet. Standing at the end of the bed, he finishes undoing his fly, lowering his pants and boxers to the floor, never taking his eyes off me. The sight is so sensual, his body one of a Greek god.

  He leans over and hooks his fingers in my panties, pulling them down achingly slowly, continuing his sweet torment.

  His eyes are gleaming wickedly at the sight of my naked body. Standing upright, he soaks me in, planning his next move. After a moment, he slides his body up to mine, kissing my legs, my hips, my stomach, my breasts on the way to my lips. I wrap my arms around his shoulders, pulling him to me, savoring every touch. He snakes his hands around my back, undoing my bra and sliding it off my shoulders. Catching my hands, he raises them above my head, linking his fingers with mine. It’s so intimate, holding hands like this, open, receptive to him.

  I feel him between my legs, right at my open
ing. “Let me in, Summer,” he begs against my lips. I soften my body as he slides himself in slowly, deeply, filling me completely. It’s a slow torment, and I squeeze his hands as he rocks himself against me, pushing himself to the hilt.

  “Oh, God…It’s so good,” I sob. “You feel too good.”

  He squeezes my hands as he pulls out and enters with each slow, deep thrust, revering every inch of me.

  I suck in a deep breath writhing with the need for friction. I churn my hips to meet his command, spurning my desire, needing to feel more.

  He pulls his head back to look into my eyes. His eyes are glittering with ecstasy. “Slow,” he warns. “I need this slow.”

  Crew angles himself to go deeper, altering the position so that I can take all of him. He hits a sensitive spot, the delicious soreness igniting my desire. He smiles, his eyes glinting with excitement as he thrusts inside.

  I close my eyes and tilt my head up at the delicious fullness, feeling stretched and taken. This is what I wanted this past year. This intimacy with him, this connection. The pleasure in the space between us spreads through us like wildfire. His command of my body spurs my desire.

  He kisses me as he rocks his hips against mine, his ass flexing so hard to push himself further inside me. I find it excruciatingly carnal, him taking as much of me as possible. It’s maddening, what he’s doing to me. I’ve never felt this wanted, this needed, this desired in my entire life.

  “God, Summer,” he pants. “You feel so good.”

  His words stir my brewing orgasm into full tilt. He thrusts deeper, rubbing a tender, aching spot that’s never been touched before. It causes me to tighten around him, exploding with ecstatic spams that ripple through me, radiating to my limbs, squeezing his hands so tightly that I lose feeling in my fingers. “Crew,” I breathe, unable to speak, reveling in the hot sensation radiating through my body.

  I realize then that he’s squeezing my hands just as hard. “Ah, Summer,” he gasps, holding into me, trembling all over his body. Hitting the end of me, he pants hard, his chest bursting for air. He shakes as his orgasm tears into him, softening his body as the ripples begin to fade. He tucks his face into the curve of my neck to catch his breath.

  I know just how he feels.

  Bare.

  Spent.

  Open.

  Vulnerable.

  We lie there for a few long moments, absorbing one another, feeling each other’s warmth and sweat, coming down from our highs.

  It’s a perfect moment. I never want it to end.

  Crew turns his head and kisses me softly, settling my exploding emotions with tender strokes of his tongue.

  He’s still holding my hands tightly, caging me in by his elbows, his hips, his body. It’s a sweet torture to be locked up in him.

  “Why are you smiling?” he purrs.

  I kiss the tip of his nose, making him smile. He’s so damn adorable when he smiles.

  “I think I’m happy right now,” I reply.

  He softly closes his eyes, appreciating the compliment. “I’m happy, too,” he replies, kissing me again.

  “I want to touch you,” I say.

  He smiles wider. “Do you now?” he asks playfully.

  I nod, and he smiles so wide that his eyes squint. Gorgeous.

  He plants another kiss on me, then pulls out of me. I wince at the delicious soreness. And he notices.

  “You ok?” he asks.

  I nod again.

  “Did I hurt you?”

  I shake my head “no.”

  He laughs. “Are you too spent to talk?”

  I nod again.

  Chuckling to himself, he rolls away to clean himself, then saddles up beside me, finding places to tangle our arms and legs together. He allows my upper arm to drape across his stomach. “Touch away,” he says.

  And I do. Until I drift off to a blissful sleep.

  Crew’s graceful movements rouse me from sleep. He’s still lying next to me, entwined with my arms and legs, but he’s reaching away, placing something on the nightstand before surrendering himself back into me.

  Keeping my eyes closed, I softly hum, “What are you up to?”

  He squeezes me with both arms, hugging me so tenderly that my heart flutters.

  Exhaling a long breath, he says, “Just taking notes.”

  I smile, “If you’re asking me to play a song, I don’t have a piano on me.”

  He chuckles to himself. “Not those kinds of notes, Summer. More like memorandums.” He kisses the top of my head.

  “What are you keeping tabs on?”

  He hesitates for a moment. “You. Me. Us. Together like this.”

  I lift my head to meet his dreamy eyes. “You’re taking notes about me?” I ask, feeling so damn special that the tears start to threaten.

  His reciprocating stare is warm and playful. “Always,” he kisses my forehead. “Five years old, remember?”

  “I remember,” I reply, smiling at his beautiful face. “And I love that you’re keeping notes on us.”

  “You do?” he’s surprised.

  “Yes, I do,” I say and kiss him once. “It means that I matter to you. That we matter to you.”

  Brushing one finger down my cheek, he generates heat in my body. “Don’t ever forget that.”

  “I won’t forget,” I say. “But it was hard this year. I wanted to talk to you, see you.”

  Crew’s eye soften more as he lets out a soft breath. “Just because we didn’t talk, Summer, doesn’t mean I wasn’t thinking about you. I’ve thought about you every single day this past year. There’s wasn’t a moment you experienced that you didn’t have me with you.” He kisses the tip of my nose, and the sweet gesture makes me melt. “I waited for you, to be here with you. I mean —” he pauses for a moment. “How could I not?”

  Wow. I feel calm yet alive. How does he do that?

  I return my head back onto his chest, lacking the courage to say what I want to say directly to his face. I don’t think I’ll like the response. But I really can’t run right now. So instead I’ll hide.

  “What happens from here, Crew?”

  He tenses, his whole body suddenly rigid and unyielding. I wish I could swallow the words I just uttered.

  After a long pause, he says, “What do you want to have happen, Summer?”

  18.

  Crew

  Damn.

  Before she can answer me, her phone beeps in the other room. She leaps out of bed and grabs my shirt from the ground. And I love that she feels comfortable wearing my clothes…and nothing underneath them.

  But I still need to know what she wants to do about us. She lives in New York. I live in Austin. Long-distance is a problem for me. Hell, if she lived down the street, that’d be a problem for me.

  Grabbing a pair of sweatpants from the drawer, I step into them and go find my pink-haired girl.

  She’s working on her phone, pacing the living area. I start cleaning up the waffles from the kitchen island when she spots me.

  “My flight got cancelled,” she says, looking back at her phone.

  I walk over and kiss her on the top of her head. “Are you looking for a new one for tomorrow?” Please say no.

  “Yes. I need to get back to my mother.”

  Damn.

  “Can’t you just call her and let her know that you’re taking a later flight?” I ask, while bringing the waffle containers to the fridge.

  “She doesn’t have a cell phone. And the landlines are down,” she replies, chewing on the inside of her cheek.

  “You can stay here as long as you need to, Summer.” That statement got her attention. She holds my gaze for a long moment then she patters over to me on her bare feet and leans her elbows on the island, effectively sticking her perfectly round ass behind her.

  Jesus.

  Her wry smile gives away her thoughts. “Keep thinking that,” I say, “and I’ll never let you leave.” Then I wink at her to make sure she doesn’t feel threatene
d.

  Biting on her full bottom lip, she replies, “Do you want me to stay?”

  Yes.

  “Do you want to stay?” I ask, throwing her question back at her.

  She squints her eyes and smirks. “Why are you answering my question with a question?”

  I place the waffles in the fridge. “Am I?”

  “Ugh! Yes! Can you just answer the question please?”

  Relieving her anguish, I lean over the island right in front of her and reply, “Yes. I want you to stay. With me. Always.”

  Her smile is radiant, and she kisses me on the lips.

  “I want to stay.” Yes! “But I have to leave. My mother doesn’t do well by herself.” No!

  Then something passes by her eyes, an idea that excites her to the point that she has to stand up straight to tell me. “Why don’t you come with me?”

  “To New York?” I ask. She’s never invited me before. In fact, I think she’s been perfectly content to leave me every year in Austin, waiting for her, wanting her. Not giving me a second thought.

  “Yes. To New York,” she laughs, beaming at me. “It would be so great to have you there for a few days. You can meet Lily and my mother. They already know about you. We could go to dinner and see a show, like on a real date. I know you have to work, so you could be back by Monday.” Her excitement is infectious. But my heart rips a little when I realize she only wants to be with me for a few days. “What do you think?”

  I smile at her, not letting her see that I’m somewhat disappointed. “When you put it that way, how can I say no?” She squeals with excitement. Then she grabs my face and plants quick kisses all over it.

  “You’ll be back for work on Monday, and —”

  “I don’t need to be back, Summer.”

  “Why not?” she asks, confused.

  “See that room over there?” I point down the long hall to a room on the end. “That’s my office. Attached to it is my dark room.” Turning back to her, I continue, “I work independently. I don’t go into an office. So I can be back whenever I want,” I tell her, hoping she’ll ask me to stay longer, if not permanently.