One Size Fits All (The Classy ‘n’ Sassy Series Book 3)

by Stephanie Haefner

  Done. That’s what she would do.

  With renewed energy, Penny grabbed her laptop and got online. She clicked the Help Wanted section of the Newford News’ Web site. There were tons of restaurant job listings, but many said “experience needed.” Crap. She could maybe fudge that bit of information, right?

  Penny made a list of places to call. One of the twenty had to give her a chance, right? She felt good. Positive. This independent-woman thing was hard, but maybe, since the start of all this, she was finally on her way.

  CHAPTER Six

  Penny headed to work for the Sunday shift and stopped for a treat on the way. It’d been less than a week since she gave up buying lunch and other little things to save money, but she deserved a splurge. And she knew exactly what she wanted: a salted caramel mocha cappuccino from the café near the shop. The second she walked in, the aroma of fresh brewed coffee swirled around her and she was in heaven.

  She ordered and even threw in a slice of homemade pumpkin loaf. Her mouth watered just thinking about it all.

  “Penelope!”

  The squeal came from her right. She couldn’t quite place it. And then she was faced with something she hadn’t yet had to deal with.

  “Blaire! How are you?” Penny forced a cheesy grin.

  She leaned in and air kissed the space on both sides of Penny’s face. “Fabulous! I heard about the divorce.” She stuck out her collagen-filled bottom lip. “So tragic. I can’t believe he left you for such a slut.” She whispered the offensive word. “I heard she used to be a stripper or something. He met her at one of the private gentlemen’s clubs. At least she was a high-end slut.”

  Information Penny did not know. Or need to know. At least it proved her theory of Jack finding a slut—er—woman who was willing to do dirtier sex stuff.

  “Can you believe I got an invite to her baby shower? Like I want to go and celebrate that child. But of course, I have to. Richard would kill me if I snubbed his BFF’s new fiancée. But don’t worry, I’ll report back on how fat she got. Ha! Forget twirling on a pole now.”

  Uh. Back up one second. “Fiancée?”

  “Ugh. I know, right? You technically didn’t even sign divorce papers yet. I heard the ring is hideously huge.”

  This just kept getting better and better.

  Blaire continued like she hadn’t just handed Penny a bucket of shit. “So why haven’t you been at the club? Or hot yoga? I miss talking to you.”

  As if they’d ever had a real conversation. Their friendship consisted of them and their significant others attending stuffy dinners where people discussed boring things. Whenever the women had been alone, all Blaire did was dish about so-and-so’s latest botched plastic surgery or whatever gossip was hot at the moment.

  Remembering it all reminded Penny that her only real friends were Mia and Bryn, and she vowed to fix her situation with them. Pronto. She was done having conversations like this with people she despised. She did it in the past for Jack, but that responsibility was over.

  “I’ve been busy” was the only excuse she could manage. And like magic, her name was called and her beverage set on the pickup counter. “That’s me. I really need to go.”

  “Okay. But we totally need to get together soon. There’s so much I need to fill you in on.”

  “Sure.” She inched toward the door.

  “Fab. I’ll call you. Ciao!”

  ---------

  THOR WIPED his moist hands on his only pair of dress pants as he walked up to Penny’s apartment. He tried to calm his nerves, but it wasn’t going to happen. It was their first official date. That meant something. This was way more important than the hookups and casual relationships he’d had in the past. He was going into it with the intention of more, probably for the first time in his life. And that was damn scary.

  She answered the door and he sucked in a breath. Who knew a plain black dress could look so sexy? Formfitting, ample cleavage, with thin straps that showed off perfect shoulders. He had no idea all this was under her regular clothes.

  And man, did he like what he saw.

  “Hi,” he managed to spit out.

  “Hi, yourself.”

  “You . . . look . . . good. I mean, great. Um . . . ” He was so bad with this stuff. “You look really nice.”

  He could tell she was stifling laughter. “Thanks. You look good, too. I like you in real clothes.”

  He wouldn’t tell her the dark gray pants and blue-and-white-striped dress shirt were pretty much the only dress clothes he had. His closet was full of track pants, basketball shorts, and T-shirts. A gym teacher didn’t need fancy duds.

  But maybe he’d get more nice clothes if they got reactions like this from her.

  “Ready to go?”

  “Yes.” She grabbed a little purse and shawl and locked up. “So, what’s the chef’s table like?”

  They headed for his truck. “Basically there’s a small table in one corner of the kitchen. We get to watch everything going on, and Kevin—my friend—will make us food and bring it over. It’s usually five courses of whatever he feels like making that night.”

  “Cool. I’ve been to lots of fancy places all over the world but I’ve never done anything like that.”

  He opened the passenger-side door for her. “All around the world?”

  She shrugged. “I used to travel a lot.”

  After she sat, he closed the door and headed for the driver’s seat. “I’ve never been outside Newford, except for football games.”

  “My ex does a lot of traveling for work and I used to tag along. Paris, Rome, Dubai. I’ve been all over.”

  Thor pulled out onto Main Street and began the short drive to the restaurant. “Damn. He must do something really important to travel to all those places.” And make a shit-ton of cash.

  “He thinks he’s more important than he really is.”

  “Do you miss all the traveling?”

  “Sometimes. But it’s not fun to sightsee by yourself. And you can only shop in designer boutiques so much before it gets boring.”

  That answered the money question. Which made him feel kind of weird. He’d never been happy with the amount of money he made, but now there was more pressure. Penny was used to really fine things. There was no way he could give her that. “All my clothes are from Target. I grew up poor and my skin is probably so used to cheap clothes that if I ever put on anything good, it’d probably rebel and break out in hives.”

  “I love Target!” She laughed and he was glad for that. “I used to care about all the designer stuff. I had to, since everyone in my social circle did. But those people are annoying and the drama is exhausting. I’m so glad I don’t have to be a part of that world anymore.”

  That definitely made him feel better.

  Thor pulled up to Russell’s and the valet attendants immediately opened both doors. He handed over his keys and met Penny on the other side. “Shall we?”

  “We shall.” She curled her arm around his and he liked it. A lot. An uncontrollable grin slid across his face.

  They stepped inside and the place was busy, as usual. Reservations booked up a month in advance and walk-in seating was nonexistent. He was happy for his friend. Never would he have expected a fellow football player to become a chef, let alone a star.

  Thor led her to the hostess stand but heard, “Penelope?”

  She stopped and his momentum was jerked. Her grip tightened around his bicep. “Hi.”

  He realized she was talking to a man. He knew the type—he could tell by the suit. They occasionally wandered into The Red Brick, but the scotch usually wasn’t up to their standards, so they left quickly.

  “What’re you doing here?” the suit asked.

  “I’m . . . having dinner. A date.” She turned to Thor, obviously frazzled, then back to the guy. “This is Theodore
Rublinski.” Her gaze met his again and she didn’t even have to say it. “Theo, this is Jack.”

  Her ex stuck out his hand. “Pleasure to meet you.”

  From the look on Penny’s face, the encounter was far from pleasurable. For any of them. Thor took the offered hand, gripping it a little tighter than he normally would. “Nice to meet you, too.”

  Jack narrowed his eyes at Thor, and when he let go, Jack wiggled his fingers and rubbed his palm. Thor tried not to laugh.

  A brunette appeared at his side, clutched his arm, and dug her bright red nails into the fabric. Huge fake breasts were practically pouring out of her painted-on dress, accentuating what he assumed was a baby bump. The diamond on her finger was so huge it looked fake, but he was sure it wasn’t.

  “Jacky, can we go somewhere else? The ladies’ room doesn’t even have an attendant.” She then turned to Thor and Penny. “Do I know you?”

  “Theodore Rublinski?” the hostess called out. “The chef’s table is ready for you.”

  “Chef’s table?” the brunette said with a pout and turned back to Penny’s soon-to-be ex. “Why can’t we sit there?”

  “Bye,” Penny said with a little wave, a smile of smug satisfaction on her face.

  Thor was happy to save her from further distress. Making her ex and his new girlfriend jealous was just a bonus. He couldn’t help but chuckle though. “That was . . . interesting.”

  Penny laughed, too, as they weaved through the dining room, glad the scene hadn’t ruined their date. “Did you see that dress she was wearing? I didn’t know they made slutwear for pregnant women.”

  He hadn’t expected such a catty statement, but found it hilarious. He almost had to cover his mouth with his hand to hide the laughter bubbling up from his gut.

  The hostess seated them as waitstaff and sous chefs buzzed around the kitchen. “Chef Kevin will be right with you.”

  “Thank you,” he said, and turned back to Penny. “So, are you okay? That had to be hard.”

  “I’m fine.”

  The waiter reappeared and placed two glasses of wine on the table. “Enjoy.”

  Penny grabbed hers and sucked it down. Whoa.

  “Is something wrong?” he asked when she set down her empty glass.

  “No,” she said, and sighed. “Sometimes it just really bothers me how unfair it is that some women just get pregnant. And others can’t and probably never will.”

  He wasn’t sure where that had come from. And it was a pretty heavy topic of conversation for what was technically a first date. Seemed like there was more to it than a simple statement. Should he ask? He wasn’t sure.

  “Someone liked the wine.” Chef Kevin appeared at their table. “Hey, man! How’s it goin’?”

  Thor stood and they slapped hands then hugged. “Good. And things look even better for you. This place is mobbed.”

  “Yeah. We’re doing pretty well. Hoping to open a new restaurant by spring.” He gave Penny a smile and put his hand out. “Hi, I’m Kevin. Apparently this lug doesn’t make introductions.”

  “I’m Penny.”

  “Sorry,” Thor said. “I’m an idiot.”

  “Don’t worry. We won’t hold it against you,” Kevin said.

  Penny laughed, which was good. Thor would take a dozen jokes at his expense if they helped lift her mood.

  “More wine?” Kevin asked.

  “Please. It’s really good.”

  “It pairs perfectly with the first course. A sweet onion and goat cheese tartlet with thyme.”

  “Sounds delicious.”

  “Give me a second and I’ll send it right over.”

  Kevin left and they were alone again, or as alone as two people could be in the corner of a bustling restaurant kitchen. Without Kevin and his jokes, Thor wasn’t sure what to say to Penny.

  “Anything exciting going on at the shop?” he asked.

  “We’re working on a big Halloween promotion. Sexy costumes that we’re going to zombify.”

  “Zombify?”

  “We’re going to take the stereotypical slutty Halloween costumes and do zombie makeup with oozing gashes and blood and everything.”

  “Sounds fun.” Though he’d never been into Halloween and dressing up.

  “It should be. You should come to the party.”

  “Maybe I will.”

  The waiter stopped by with Penny’s new glass of wine. This time she sipped.

  “Oh, I wanted to ask you,” she said as she set her glass down. “Have you heard of that new dog park on South Avenue?”

  “No.”

  “It sounds really neat. They have all kinds of obstacles for the dogs. I know Scarlett would love it. You think Blitz would?”

  “Definitely.”

  “We should plan a playdate then.”

  She smiled and took another sip of wine. Apparently, whatever was bothering her before was gone. They could get back to enjoying each other. And the food they were about to taste.

  ---------

  PENNY BERATED herself for letting Jack get to her, but she refused to let him and his pregnant whore ruin her date with Theo. She downed that first glass of wine and it helped push away the annoyance and sadness that had started to creep in. But now she was good. And she wasn’t sure what was in that wine, but damn, Theo was looking fine.

  “You have to see this picture I took of Scarlett.” Penny pulled out her phone and leaned to him. Totally an excuse to get closer. She didn’t really care about showing off her pooch.

  “Aw. She’s cute. Like her mama.” His cheeks flashed pink for a second. And she loved it.

  “Hey. No cell phones at the chef’s table.” Kevin was in front of them, playful grin, holding a rectangular plate.

  “Just showing off my dog.” She turned the screen to him.

  “I guess I can let that slide.” He set the plate down. “But once you start eating, you won’t want to stop to look at doggie pictures. Here are the tartlets. Fresh goat cheese with caramelized onions on a puff pastry. Enjoy!”

  They dug in, savoring the vibrant flavors of brown sugar and butter, the sweetness mixed with the savory.

  “I think this is the best tartlet I’ve ever had,” Penny said. “It’s almost better than an orgasm.”

  Theo froze, tartlet in hand. “It’s good, but maybe you’re not having the right kind of orgasm.”

  Now her cheeks were warm. Especially with the thought of having an orgasm brought on by Theo. Maybe even tonight. No. She wasn’t a sex-on-the-first-date kind of girl.

  But if he kept looking at her like that, and she kept imagining him naked, she might be that kind of girl.

  “Here’s the wine for course two,” the waiter said, and placed two new glasses in front of them, taking away the others. “It will be out shortly.”

  “So . . . I wonder what course two will be.”

  Penny shook out of her sex haze. “I can’t imagine anything topping that.”

  They sat through three more courses of delectable creations. Kevin was a damn talented chef. No wonder his place was jam-packed. And his new restaurant would be just as amazing. He’d sat with them for a few minutes and told them a little about it, promising to put them on the opening night guest list.

  Dessert was about at sexy as dessert could get. A chocolate pomegranate pie with an almond crust and a scoop of basil mint ice cream. Theo took one last bite, leaving a spot of pomegranate sauce on his lip. And oh, holy hell! When his tongue darted out to lick it, she wished that tongue was licking her instead.

  They left the restaurant and he took her home. They talked about this and that, but talking was the last thing she wanted to do. Should she invite him in? Was that too forward? But she’d regret it if she didn’t.

  Theo took her hand, intertwining it with his as he walked her to the door, and he
r heart broke apart into a thousand butterflies that flew rampantly through her body. Jack had never held her hand. Ever.

  “I had a great time tonight,” he said as they approached the door.

  “Me, too.”

  She was about to invite him in, but then he stepped to her and all brain function stopped.

  “I’ll call you and we’ll set up the doggie playdate.”

  All she could do was nod and murmur, “Mmm-hmmm.” As she stared up into those dreamy eyes, she realized he was moving closer. Those delicious-looking lips were going to touch hers. She was going to taste his tongue, the sweetness of pomegranate and chocolate probably still clinging to it. He was coming for her and she was so ready for him.

  But then his head moved to the left. No! Wait! Too late. He’d already passed her mouth, opting to place a kiss on her cheek. What the hell was that?

  “Good night,” he said as he pulled back, sexy grin, and let go of her hand, the evening chill invading her body. “We’ll talk soon.”

  And then he was gone.

  What. The. Fuck?

  He did not just leave her there on the doorstep with only a peck on the cheek. Why? Penny wracked her brain as she unlocked the door and went inside. She replayed the entire night in her head. Everything had been perfect! Well, the thing with Jack and the bitchress had been awkward and it had taken her a few minutes to recover, but she’d recovered well! What had she done to deserve a shitty end to the night?

  CHAPTER Seven

  Monday morning, Penny woke feeling better than she had in a while. She’d decided to view the nonkiss as a nonissue. So what? He didn’t kiss her. Maybe he was a gentleman and didn’t think it was proper to kiss on the first date. Maybe he thought his breath was nasty. There could be a million reasons why he didn’t want to play a little tonsil hockey at the end of their date.