by Audra Hart
He kisses her cheek gently, and then softly says, “You should never feel embarrassed to tell me anything, love.” When she doesn’t respond he asks, “Do you still have symptoms?”
She rolls her eyes and erupts in a snort of laughter before saying, “Just non-stop hot flashes.”
Lucian chuckles; “I had wondered why you never wear sweaters or jackets, even though the weather is frigid this winter. Look at you right now. Look at how you dressed to come out in 35 degree weather, without a coat.”
She looks down at her thin cotton pajama pants and tee shirt, and bursts out laughing at herself. It’s not a happy sound. “Oh my God. I am dressed like a bag lady and conducting myself like an oversexed cougar. You are a good friend to put up with me.”
He kisses the top of her head and murmurs something in a language she thinks is Gaelic. He still has his arm around her shoulders, and he gives her a little squeeze before he moves his hand and starts rubbing lazy circles on her back. She looks up at him searchingly and he gives her that lopsided grin she adores. She smiles and says, “Seriously Lucian, you are very good for me. I can’t imagine surviving my little lapse in judgment earlier with another man…” She looks away and takes a deep breath, “But the lapse wouldn’t have happened with another man,” she admits honestly.
She laughs nervously as she scoots a few inches away to settle in beside him on the couch. She kicks off her house shoes and turns so that she’s facing him and her legs are drawn up between them with her feet just hanging off the couch. To the casual observer this move and posture would appear relaxed, but Lucian knows she did it to put a little distance between them. To keep herself away from temptation, so to speak.
After a short silence when neither seems to know what to say, Lucian breaks the ice again. “I am pleased to notice you haven’t gone outside to go get a cigarette. We have been together for over three hours now. I am really impressed,” he comments with a huge smile.
“I was thinking about it when you told me not to go earlier,” Deidra admits.
“Oh, sorry, love. I thought you were thinking about leaving,” he replied.
“I was, but knowing me, I would have lit a cig before I could have unlocked the car. I usually go right to the cigarettes when I am stressed or upset. I’m glad I didn’t, it’s been three days. I am feeling pretty proud of myself,” she admits.
“You should be pleased with yourself. I am proud of you. I suspected it had been a while, because I couldn’t smell smoke in your hair,” he says with a delighted smile.
“Yuck! I didn’t realize you could smell it on me. I know you don’t like the way they smell. Wow, you really do put up with a lot from me don’t you?” she asks.
“I am not putting up with anything, Morna. It’s just part of who you are. Just like my freakishly cold hands, pale skin, and my other quirks that you pretend you don’t notice.” Rising from the couch he goes into the kitchen and returns with a coke for her. “You need the ‘necessary’?”
She takes a deep breath and then shakes her head, “No, I don’t.” She accepts the coke with a smile, and shivers in secret delight when his fingers brush hers lightly as he hands her the soda can. She always feels a nearly electrical surge of pleasure when their flesh comes into contact. “But I promised to tell you some about my childhood, didn’t I?” Lucian grins and nods. Deidra takes a drink of the icy coke before asking, “Are you sure you want to do this? I mean, we have had a pretty weird morning already.”
She blushes again and Luca has a hard time resisting the urge to take her into his arms. But he knows after the earlier episode that they both will probably get carried away… again.
“Stop hedging, Sweetheart. You owe me a story…” He counters with the lopsided grin she loves and then sits on the coffee table in front of her. He reaches out to caress her cheek, before resting both hands on her knees and saying, “You know that I want to know you better. You are important to me, Morna. I want to know everything about you. So, start talking.” He gives her a reassuring smile and waits for her begin.
CHAPTER 4 – FLASHES OF THE PAST?
Deidra turns and puts her feet back on the floor in front of her, between his feet. She leans forward and meets his eyes. “Where should I start?” She asks uncertainly. She tells him about her parents coming from Minnesota. Her father being in the army. Her mother was a timid woman who took very little interest in her daughter. Her father was abusive, a drunkard and womanizer. When she was a teenager she tried to intervene when her father was beating her mother. He ended up putting them both in the hospital. Unfortunately, her mother didn’t appreciate the interference. So Deidra took off. She went to a friend’s house.
“You have to understand, Mom just took whatever Dad dished out. She never seemed to believe she deserved any better. And I think Mom was angry with me because she knows that I was really trying to hurt Dad for the way he always treated us, especially Mom.” Deidra sighs sadly and stares off into nothingness, and Lucian wonders what she is seeing in her mind’s eye.
“I felt so betrayed by Mom‘s reaction that I just went AWOL from the hospital and walked to Tracy’s house. She was the friend I mentioned earlier. Anyway, I told her folks what it was like living with Duh and how Mom had reacted to my interference. And I asked if I could live with them until I graduated high school. Tracy’s dad was base commander and a really good man. They welcomed me into their family.”
“Tracy’s dad, or Pop as we called him, convinced me to go to college. Between his help and my grades, I received a pretty decent scholarship to the local university when I graduated high school. I got my teaching degree. I ended up in Sherman, Texas teaching third grade. That’s where I became interested in Special Education. I took extra classes at Southeastern in Durant, Oklahoma. I finally got my certificate in Special Education. I worked in the field there in Texas for a while before I moved up here to Oklahoma. I have been doing the same thing ever since. Nothing very exciting about me or my life, I am afraid.”
Lucian picks up one of her hands to place an chilly kiss in the palm then asks gently, “Morna, why don’t you want to work directly with the special needs children anymore?”
Deidra meets his gaze, then shrugs, looks away and hands him the standard line she’s been using with everyone else, “Well, right now it’s just too demanding physically.” She meets his gaze again, and she knows he’s not buying it. “Honestly?” He nods. She closes her eyes and utters a single word, “Aiden.”
“I thought as much.” said Lucian. He kisses the top of her head, then asks, “So that’s why you limit your involvement to testing, classroom observation, and the paperwork?”
“Yes, I really used to detest testing and paperwork when I was working in the classroom. But now they serve as a lifeline for me. I can still contribute and help these kids, but I don’t have to get attached or get so involved that I see Aiden in them. Does that make any sense at all?” she asks.
“It makes perfect sense, Morna. Sorry I interrupted your train of thought. Do you want to continue?”
Deidra shrugs her shoulders. “Sure, why not? Better to get it over with I guess. Do you remember what I said last? I sure don’t.”
“You had just gotten your special education certification,” he supplied.
“Yes that’s right. Let’s see… Well, I’d been working in special education for three years when Duh tracked me down to tell me that mom had passed away. Tracy and Pop met me in El Paso when I went back for the funeral. Duh had been dishonorably discharged from the army when he nearly killed Mom that time, but they were still living in El Paso. I guess Duh worked as a border inspector until the day he died. At least, I assume he’s probably dead by now.”
“Why do you call your father Duh?”
“Because it would piss him off.” Deidra chuckles, and blushes a little. “I guess it was my not so subtle way of standing up to a bully. But he never really pushed me after I stood up to him that day. I really had very little contact with him
or Mom after I moved in with Tracy and her folks.”
Lucian chuckles, “You know I have seen you do that at The Shack. You used to make Mike pretty nervous the way you treated the thugs with utter disdain that would come to the bar trying to push people around.”
“I can’t stand a damned bully. Never have been able to.”
Lucian chuckles. He knows that probably better than she does. She devoted herself as a Spell Weaver and a Warrior to defending human kind from immortals that would take advantage. But he has to admit he worried about her when she worked at The Shack, she never seemed to know any fear. And some of people who came into that backwoods biker bar, well they were outright dangerous.
One night she caught one of the patrons, a biker from OKC trying to rape one of the girls who hung around the bar. The girl’s name is Monica. She was just a local kid with a bad home life so she hung around the bar sometimes. Lucian almost dropped his hiding spell and revealed what he was when he saw his beloved mate, jump on that man with her wrecked leg and arm. But she didn’t let that slow her down one little bit. She hit the would-be rapist with her cane to distract him from the girl and then she used it to choke him down. For a moment, Lucian was afraid she was going to kill him. But she didn’t. She sent the girl inside to have Mike call the sheriff once the would-be rapist was unconscious.
He decides he should shift the focus back to their conversation. “Did you keep up with Tracy and her family?” asks Lucian, changing gears on her a little.
“Oh yes! They were well and truly my family from the day I moved in with them until they all passed away. Tracy’s Mom, Bea, had a heart condition and passed away while we were in college. Pop passed away from prostate cancer three years after my Mom. And I lost Tracy last year, to breast cancer. All three of them are buried in El Paso. Each passing was devastating, but I thank God for bringing them into my life. They were the best family any girl could ever ask for. I just hope I made a good daughter and sister to them, because they sure deserved the best.” Deidra looks very melancholy as she speaks of her adopted family passing.
“You have suffered a great deal of loss haven’t you in this life time?” Lucian asks.
“I guess,” she shrugs. “We all suffer loss, don’t we? There is nothing special about my losses… just that they are mine.” Her words sound detached, but she’s shaking pretty hard and looks utterly exhausted. Lucian is afraid he may have pushed her too far today. Her mind and body have already overcome such incredible odds and he chides himself for pushing her so hard today to tell him about her life.
Deidra looks at the clock for the first time since arriving at Lucian‘s home. “Oh crap! I am supposed to be at PT in 45 minutes! I can’t believe it’s already 2:15.”
“Morna, are you really up for PT today?” Lucian asks gently.
“No, not really, but you are always chiding me for missing appointments,” she reminds him as she tries to stand up. Her right leg is asleep from the way she had been sitting.
Lucian takes her hands into his own and helps her to her feet. “Well I think today might be an exception. You are shaking too much to drive, and I can’t leave this afternoon to drive you. I have a client coming at 3:00. Let me call Seth’s clinic and reschedule. Maybe I could schedule an early appointment for tomorrow? I would be happy to pick you up and drive you there. How does that sound?” he asks gently.
“That would be great Lucian. Let me go to the necessary and then I can clear out of your way so you can get ready for your appointment. I am truly sorry that I stayed so long.” She frees one hand and reaches up to stroke his beautiful face. “I am sure you are sick of the very sight of me by now,” she chuckles with a wry smile on her face.
Lucian holds her hand against his cheek, and then turns his face so that he can kiss her palm. She gets lost staring into his eyes and it’s all she can do not to stand up on tip toes and kiss him again. “Nonsense my love, you have to know that isn‘t true! Go to my room and rest. I will make you a cup of herbal tea, and then you can nap if you would like. When you get up, I hope that you will stay for dinner and then you can go home, if you wish,” he insists gently and kisses her palm again. “I meant it when I said you were too shaky to drive.”
She doesn’t respond right away, and he cocks and eyebrow at her; “Don’t you trust me enough to rest in my bedroom?” He asks as he pulls her into his arms.
She swallows hard because the raging wildfires are back. Damn, I wonder if he knows what he does to me? “I trust you completely Lucian, you know that.” She states evenly, if a bit breathy. She chuckles and says, “Besides, I was the one trying to do the seducing earlier as you well recall.”
Lucian chuckles at her wry, self-deprecatory sense of humor. It hasn’t changed much in all this time. She still uses humor to try to distract people from things she isn’t comfortable discussing. He looks in her eyes and sees the truth though, and smiles broadly, happily. She does trust me. He leans in slowly and finally captures her lips for a lingering kiss that leaves her breathless. He pulls away reluctantly before saying, “Go to my room, Morna. I’ll bring the tea.” He turns and quickly leads her to his bedroom door before he quickly disappears back up the hallway into the kitchen.
Lucian’s bedroom is nearly as beautiful as its owner. At some point in time, someone had obviously knocked out a wall or two to make one giant room. The bedroom occupies the entire north end of the second story. The walls are covered in a lovely muted gray and green vertical stripe wallpaper. The king sized bed, the dressers, the wardrobe, and desk are all constructed out of a rich mahogany. Each piece is very large with simple, elegant lines. The bedspread is a gray and green nine patch quilt that looks a hundred years old if it is a day. The center square of each nine patch was embroidered with an intricate pattern of entwined emerald green suns and aquamarine crescent moons. Someone had expended a great deal of time and effort in making the lovely quilt.
The bedroom is absolutely beautiful, but somehow Deidra knows that Lucian doesn’t spend much time in this beautiful sanctuary. There is very little that feels truly personal here, and it is far more tidy than her own bedroom and just doesn‘t feel lived in.
The only decorations are three huge black and white photos of landscapes, and an ancient looking crest with equally ancient looking candle holders on either side. And a very interesting looking carving of an oak tree. Deidra touches it gently and pulls back in surprise. As surge of power overwhelmed her when she touched it, almost like an electrical shock, but not quite.
Oddly enough Deidra feels that all of these items, except for the furniture, are incredibly familiar to her. “So strange,” she thinks. “Old girl, you’re losing your marbles. This is the first time you have ever stepped foot in this room.”
At that moment Lucian returns with a tray with two cups of herbal tea, a small plate of sliced apples, a small bunch of green grapes, and a plate bearing a small assortment of cheeses and whole wheat crackers. He sets the tray on the bed and pats a spot beside it for her to sit. She shyly walks over and eyeballs the height of the bed. With her wrecked hip and leg it will be difficult to get up there gracefully. As though reading her mind, he grasps her by her shapely hips and lifts her effortlessly onto the bed beside the tray. He smiles happily as he sits on the other side of the tray.
All of this is accomplished without even creating a tiny ripple in the tea in the cups. Deidra wonders if the mattress is one of those space-age foam models that do not conduct motion or if he is really just that graceful. She knows in her heart it’s the latter, and suddenly she feels like the clumsy, ugly duckling taking tea with the regal swan.
She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath and silently reminds herself for the thousandth time that this man is light years out of her league, and so much better than she could ever hope to deserve that she really needs to get a grip on herself. She opens her eyes when he caresses her face again. Those beautiful, luminescent blue eyes are staring at her with such open longing that it takes her b
reath away. She gasps and ducks her head.
“Did I really see that or am I just seeing what I want to see?” she demands silently of herself.
“Morna? What’s wrong?” He asks quietly. “Do you want me to go and leave you in peace while you eat?”
She snaps her head up at his words and quickly says, “No! Not at all. It’s your home for heaven’s sake. Besides, you know I really like being with you.”
“Then why are you always hiding from me?” he asks in a quiet, no nonsense tone of voice.
“Truthfully?” she asks. When he nods, she sighs and says, “Because you make me feel things I have never felt before. I have never been so uncertain around any man in my entire life. Until I met you, I have never felt a moment of shyness. I guess this is shyness. Hell, I don’t know exactly what it is. But I do know it is very unsettling, and I feel like I have to regroup… a lot around you.” Deidra shrugs and laughs at herself.
She picks up a cup of the tea and takes a big gulp because her throat is suddenly very dry. The tea is hot, but not so hot that it is uncomfortable. The flavor and temperature are both soothing, and oddly familiar. Immediately, she feels herself relax. She smiles and takes another pleasurable sip. “This tea is really nice, what kind is it?”
Lucian is thoughtful over his explanation, but he smiles openly at her question and says, “It’s an ancient, er family herbal blend. It originated around Ireland and Wales. It is reputed to have relaxing qualities. I have just always liked it. An old friend, Rinda, sends it to me every so often. I am glad that you like it.” Lucian says softly.
He’s not certain if he is disappointed or relieved that he didn’t see a flicker of recognition at the name. “Why aren’t you eating?”
“Oh… sorry.” Deidra says as she picks up a piece of cheese and pops it into her mouth and chews slowly. She savors the rich nutty flavor as she contemplates the man sitting across from her. She smiles as she takes in his beauty. “Hell, there is no other word for it. He’s not just handsome, he is beautiful, but not in an even remotely feminine manner.” His broad shoulders are well muscled and beautifully contoured. His chest and abdomen are perfectly formed, rock hard and cool to the touch. She shivers in delight as she remembers her explorations earlier today on the couch. Suddenly, her mind is filled with thousands of images of his body, the feel of him, the smell of him, the taste of him… It’s as though she is reliving making love with him hundreds, no thousands of times.