The Damned of Lost Creek

by Danae Ayusso

  “Ellie and Marianne sent Billy, who was willing to go, to pick you up and escort you back. However, when he got to the halfway house, he called me and said that you weren’t my child, and that it was impossible. He said that you slightly looked like your mother, but somehow you really resembled... It doesn’t matter. Billy reminded me that it wasn’t possible and that they were mistaken.”

  That’s bullshit! I look nothing like my mom. But I understand the second part, I think.

  “Because I’m a girl,” I surmised.

  His head titled to the side. “Exactly. Only males have been born in our family tree, generations and generations of males. So when Billy discovered that Mikhail was a female, he was vexed. The irritation, disdain and hatred for your mother because of what she did, and fear of a female, it pushed him over the edge, you could say. Not that you made it any easier and kept trying to run from him.”

  I blushed and he chuckled.

  “Billy needed a challenge,” Price assured me. “He’s just too stubborn to admit it. When it comes to a female, change is never a good thing for us, so when something as drastic as a daughter, a first in many generations, suddenly pops up, it’s troubling.”

  Damn it.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be,” he snapped at me. “Never apologize for anything, ever.”

  Okay. Um, now what?

  “Am I… Would you have rather… I mean. Damn it, did you want a son?” I sheepishly asked.

  “Son, Daughter, it didn’t matter. I just wanted you happy. Are you happy, Mikhail?” His tone was soft, but his eyes were pleading.

  This just keeps getting more and more awkward.

  “Price, I won’t lie to you, ever,” I said. “I can promise you that. And like Tony Montana—ha, Montana, that’s funny—anyway, all I have is my word and my balls and I don’t break either for anyone. I’m not unhappy here with you and your interesting family, but my lack of happiness isn’t because of you. I haven’t been happy in so long. I think the last time I remember being happy was...” I shook my head. Damn, I can’t even remember! “It doesn’t matter. I feel safe here, and that’s something I haven’t felt in my entire life and that isn’t just because of being out in the middle of nowhere with no gangs or violence or agenda filled assholes. And it isn’t because I’m in a nice home that’s weird and seems to move around like the woods, not that it matters. But what I’m trying to say is I feel safe because of you. I can only remember a handful of people in my life that were okay and semi-good people, but I never felt the... I’m not very good at expressing myself, so bear with me,” I pleaded.

  Where in the hell did that come from? You are seriously killing our street cred.

  It felt right so shut up!

  Price nodded. “Of course. Take your time.”

  No pressure.

  “Thanks. Something... I’m not...” I struggled to articulate myself, not something I normally do.

  How do you tell someone that you should be locked up and experimented on?

  You can’t, so don’t.

  This is the only home I’ve ever felt anything in other than fear, and I can’t let my damn mouth ruin that, ruin this, for me.

  For us.

  I sighed, shaking my head. “I feel like I’m home, like this is where I should have always been; Mother here or not, I should have been with you! And I can’t shake the hatred,” I choked on the word, the anger building in me causing my balled fists to shake, “I have for that woman now,” I spit through clenched teeth. “For years I tolerated her and everything else because I was under the delusion that she was all that was meant for me. That keeping her from choking on her own vomit when she overdosed or drank too much and got alcohol poisoning, or helping her when she mouthed off and her boyfriend of the moment beat the hell out of her was what I was meant to do. You know, I was content with all of that because I didn’t think that I deserved... I didn’t think that there was anything else out there for me. And then I find out that the lying whore never told you and never gave you the chance…never gave me the chance, to have a life, a happy existence! And I think I hate her now as much as I do because of her doing that to you.” I looked up at him.

  His eyes were smoldering and rimmed with moisture, his face hard and expressionless.

  Ooh! We get that look from Daddy!

  Noted.

  “Price, you never deserved that, neither of us did, but you most of all. I’m a good judge of people and character, usually, so I know that you and everyone else out here are hiding something from me. I can sense it.”

  His complexion paled slightly.

  “But I don’t care,” I assured him. “I know that you would never hurt me, and that’s what I’ve waited almost eighteen years to know, to feel...to experience! And I thank you for that.”

  Okay, when did I turn into open up and talk about her feelings Mikhail? This is really freaking me out. I should have just nodded and said nope or yup, popping the P on whichever just to be an ass, but I didn’t. I told him the truth and what I’m feeling. I never tell anyone what I’m feeling. This is really freaking me out and it’s wrong. It feels right so it has to be wrong…right?

  You’ve lost me.

  Price nodded, a small smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. “Thank you for telling me, Mikhail. Neither of us can change the past. What is done is done and what has happened is what it is–” He shook his head, seemingly trying to find his zen-like calm. “Tomorrow is another day, and all we can do is take it day by day and hopefully that’s almost enough time to make up for the time we lost together. Agreed?”

  Sure, why not?

  “I think I can handle that,” I said.

  “Me too.”

  Since he’s seemingly open for suggestions, I might as well throw one at him. “Can I…is there a position, a low level, doesn’t need to know what in the hell they’re doing, even shit shoveler would be fine, available?” I asked, waiting for him to shoot me down.

  He chuckled. “Why?”

  Let your balls drop and tell him already.

  I’m trying.

  “I’d like to get some clothes for school, but I don’t have any money, so I was hoping that I could get a job on the ranch or something. I mean... I’ve never been around a horse before. I’ve seen some police horses, and been chased by a couple of them, not that it matters now... But um... I’d like a couple outfits for school.”

  “Oh,” was all he said, looking slightly amused.

  Damn it. Play one of your cards.

  “It’s my first day of high school so you’ll get to experience a first with me,” I informed him, smiling wide, batting my lashes, and he laughed, nodding his approval of my ridiculous attempt at getting what I wanted.

  “I’ll tell you what,” Price started. “I can arrange for Shep to show you around the stables and pastures, and you can help him out. Does that work?”

  I nodded then shook my head. “Not tomorrow,” I said.

  “Whenever you’re ready,” Price assured me.

  “Um, I know this sounds stupid, but,” I gnawed on my bottom lip, “do you have any vacation time available?”

  He cocked an eyebrow, a small smile pulling at the corners of his mouth.

  I groaned. “Don’t give me that look. I do that look,” I whined, causing him to chuckle.

  “I’m the boss Mikhail, so I can do whatever I want,” he assured me. “What’d you have in mind?”

  I looked at the clock on the stove then back to him. “A couple of days in front of the television watching movies and playing catch up?” I offered.

  The smile that filled his face I’m sure had to hurt.

  “I’ll make the popcorn,” he said, excited, getting to his feet.

  Chapter Five

  Lounge Lizards & The Alpha

  A soft chuckle pulled me from a peaceful sleep.

  When I eventually got my eyes open, they focused on Ellie’s amused face. She was standing in front of the couch, shakin
g her head in amusement, picking up the soda bottles and empty bowls of popcorn and candy wrappers.

  “You don’t have to do that,” I mumbled, stretching. “I’ll pick it up.”

  Ellie shook her head. “Yeah right. As if your father or the dogs are going to let you up anytime soon,” she said with a chuckle then headed from the room.

  “Huh?” I said and sat up more.

  Price was sitting up on the opposite end of the couch, fast asleep with a dog curled up next to him.

  Between us on the long couch were dogs, each curled up into a ball of fur, sleeping. Nakeva was curled up next to me, using my lap as a pillow, softly purring her in sleep. I didn’t know when the dogs joined us, or where they had been hiding since it was the first I had seen them aside from Nakeva two nights ago, but I didn’t mind them joining the party. Shep pouted because he wasn’t invited to our binge watching. It was something Price didn’t want to share with anyone. The twins understood, Ellie simply laughed and kept the food coming, but Nick had to pull Shep from the house a couple of times.

  I didn’t care if the others joined us, as long as they didn’t talk while the shows and movies were on. I hate that! Blue Boy, De’Von and Mama did that all the time. Nothing was more annoying than watching a movie with someone talking the entire time and talking to the characters in the movie as if they heard them.

  So annoying.

  Ellie returned and set a tray with coffee, tea, and some fresh muffins on the coffee table. “Did you need anything, Sweetheart?”

  I yawned, shaking my head.

  “I’m good… Where were all these dogs hiding?” I asked.

  “Out back. They have kennels but only one has a door on it,” Ellie said. “That one houses a demon that isn’t allowed in the house anymore. Demonic bitch,” she informed me.

  I chuckled. “Good to know.”

  Ellie grabbed a muffin and cup of coffee then sat in one of the tufted chairs. “What did the two of you binge on last night? I heard Price laughing all night,” she said, keeping her voice down so not to wake Price up.

  That’s an understatement.

  Price was laughing so hard that night that I was certain he woke up the entire house, and apparently, he had.

  “We finished up the Farrelly Brothers collection we started the first day before moving to Will Ferrell movies,” I said just as quietly. “He lost it with Anchorman and Stepbrothers. I can’t believe he hadn’t seen those before.” I took a drink of the coffee in my hand before taking a big bite of the muffin I snagged from the tray. “I hope he doesn’t mind that I set the DVR to record Jeopardy.”

  Ellie softly chuckled. “Price won’t mind. He doesn’t watch much television so I’m sure he wouldn’t even notice. Are you okay now? In a better place mentally?”

  It annoyed me how well people were reading me in Montana. No one in Philly could do that, and yet Ellie, Price, Simian, even a damn dog, could seemingly read me like a book.

  “How’d you know?” I asked.

  She offered a reassuring smile. “It isn’t a bad thing, Sweetheart. You were witness to something that no child should have to see, experienced things that no one should have to experience, and you’ve shouldered it without complaint or asking for help. It doesn’t matter how hard or badass they think they are, no one can do it forever. You needed a break, to just relax and chill in a safe environment, and that’s what you did. Believe it or not, Sweetheart, that was exactly what Price needed as well. He’s been so anxious since the moment your caseworker called, terrified even, and your laidback chill terrifies him because he’s waiting for you to run, to get scared and turn from him.”

  Damn it. That’s what I thought.

  I was hoping it wasn’t true though.

  “I’m not running,” I assured her. “Living in a haunted house surrounded by moving woods filled with annoying boyband rejects is a reprieve compared to Philly.”

  Ellie chuckled.

  “I needed the break, and vegging in front of the television, watching comedies with Price, talking between credits, it was what I needed,” I admitted. “Now it’s starting to feel like home.”

  The content sigh from the other end of the couch pulled our attention.

  Price was smiling as he stretched his arms above him, working the knots from his back and shoulders.

  “After a shower did you want to keep Shep company around the ranch so he stops bitching and crawling up my ass?” Ellie asked, changing the subject since Price was awake.

  “Will I have to shovel shit?” I asked, making a face.

  Price chuckled, grabbing the cup of tea from the tray then settled back. “No. I’ll talk to him. We’ll find something for you to do. The first day of school will come faster than you know,” he teased.

  “One more day on the couch, then I’ll grace the ranch with my glowing presence,” I said and Nakeva rolled to her back and used my knee as a pillow, causing Price to roar with laughter.

  ****

  After three days of binge watching movies and prematurely canceled television shows and talking with Price, I felt as if a weight had been lifted off my shoulders and heart, and my soul felt strangely at ease. Maybe the Big Sky air is making me loopy or completely insane, but I’m not complaining either way for once. I rather enjoy it. It almost feels as if a switch in my always paranoid and closed off, constantly in self-preservation mode, head has been flipped, and I’m seeing, for the first time, that there’s more to life than what I knew. I like it, but at the same time, it feels as if a part of me is fighting it.

  Old habits die hard I guess.

  Simian showed up last night and joined us for movies, as did Nick, Shep, Ellie and the twins. Our private binging with the dogs turned into family movie night where everything Simian and Nick saw on the movie reminded them of an amusing story of Price. As much as it should have annoyed me that it took four hours to watch Van Wilder, it didn’t. When around his brothers and Nick, Price turned into a blushing teenager that got easily embarrassed and wrestled around with the boys.

  The four of my generation sat back on the couch and watched the other three wrestle around and smack each other with pillows. I wasn’t entirely sure how or why the adults in the house had reverted to children, but it was more than apparent it was needed.

  When the wrestling match ended, I threw in the towel and went to bed. Instead of being apprehensive about sleeping in the large room and quiet home, I crawled up on the bed and passed out the moment my head hit the pillow. There were no nightmares, no weird dreams that caused me to wake up, no tossing and turning.

  I slept like the dead and I loved it!

  “So this is what it feels like to be home?” I asked aloud when the sun coming through the window woke me. “It’s better than I thought it’d be,” I said with a smile and pulled the covers around me, inhaling the clean cottony-lilac scent of the linens, looking at the window and the sun pouring in.

  The soft knock at the door startled me, and I sat up.

  “Yeah?” I called out.

  The door opened and Ellie came in with a smile consuming her aged face and a breakfast tray in her hands.

  Immediately I scrambled out of the bed to help her with it.

  “Thanks, Sweetheart,” she said and reluctantly let me help her and gave me the tray. She made herself comfortable in one of the club chairs across from the bed. “How’d you sleep?” she asked.

  I sat in the window seat and looked from her to the tray of food. “I could have come down,” I said.

  “I know,” she scoffed with a chuckle. “I thought it’d be a treat to have breakfast in bed since you spent the past three nights on the couch with Price and the pups. It’s usually a birthday tradition, but since we missed, and don’t actually know when your birthday is… It doesn’t matter. Happy belated birthday breakfast in bed!”

  Silly old lady.

  “Thanks.” I smiled and picked at the pile of scrambled eggs with my fork before shoving a bite in my mouth. “I slept r
eally good,” I mumbled with a mouth full of food. “Sorry,” I said, cringing from my lack of manners.

  These have to be the best damn eggs on the planet!

  “Did you make these?” I asked with my mouth full.

  “Yes, do you like?”

  I nodded. “I think I love you simply for our matching outlook on law enforcement and your ability to make some kick ass scrambled eggs.”

  Ellie laughed, shaking her head in amusement. “Thanks. Hopefully in the future you’ll love me for more than my awesome egg making skills and anti-establishment outlook on life.”

  “Most likely,” I assured her, and the corners of her eyes glistened with moisture.

  I continued to shove food in my face like some kind of manner-less animal, but I’ve seriously never had food this good before. The funny thing is it’s just scrambled eggs, bacon and some kind of dark brown bread that is slightly sweet with a dusting of milled oats on it, and the butter…

  Seriously, I want to marry this woman!

  She should be on Food Network or some shit. Ellie has mad culinary skills.

  “I’m glad you’re finally home, Mikhail,” Ellie said.

  “I’m sorry I’ve been weird and slightly anti-social and residing on the couch for the past couple of nights,” I said; it really was tacky to sleep on a couch with a bunch of dogs, but I was used to tacky and ghetto.

  Ellie shook her head. “Hanging out around the house is exactly what you both needed, you knowing it or not. In just a few days, you’ve changed Price for the better. Even if you weren’t his biological daughter, and somehow you ended up here with us, you would still be the enigma that makes his closed off heart warm.”

  So she’s saying Price is a total prick...that is, until we came around? Interesting.