by Regina Darcy
He held her gaze for a long moment, his expression serious, although he did not say anything in particular. Charlotte wanted to say more, wanted to talk to him about what he had done and why he had chosen to do it, but found that with her sister and Lord Markham present, she was not free to speak as she wished. Therefore, the carriage remained silent as they trundled along the roads towards their destination—and even Theodora could find nothing to say to continue their conversation.
It was with relief that Charlotte stepped out from the carriage, smiling at once as other guests came towards them, greeting each of them in turn. Some were familiar acquaintances, some were not, but all in all, they made a very jolly party.
There was a slight climb a little farther up the hill until they came to a shaded woodland area, which Lord Astor declared to be their destination. Blankets were spread on the ground, and they each sat down dutifully, although Charlotte was a little disappointed to note that Lord Astor sat away from her, as though deliberately putting distance between them.
However, her disappointment began to ebb away as she turned her head to gaze down on the city of Bath, delighted to be amongst the trees and the wildlife. There was something beautiful about having such a view of the city whilst being surrounded by nature. Charlotte spent a most enjoyable afternoon with the other guests, enjoying good conversation and delicious delicacies—finding the only cloud to be the absence of Lord Astor from her company.
Every time she dared look at him, he was either looking away or talking animatedly to someone else. On the rare occasion that their eyes met, he turned his gaze away from her at once, heat climbing up his neck. Was he embarrassed to speak to her? Why else was he so keen to keep himself absent from her company?
The day grew long, and Charlotte found herself growing a little tired. Some of the guests chose to return to their carriages, although some decided to stay a little longer. Charlotte glanced at Theodora and saw her deep in conversation with Lord Markham, her eyes sparkling with delight as they talked.
Her heart warmed for them, thinking just how well they would do together. She no longer had any fear for her sister that she would be caught in a loveless marriage. Charlotte did not worry that Theodora would be tricked into matrimony by a poor second son in need of her wealth, for it was more than apparent that Lord Markham held Theodora in deep affection. In addition, she had not seen Lord Markham engage in any kind of gambling or uncouth behaviour. He seemed to be the perfect gentleman, and she was more than delighted for Theodora.
“If you will excuse me,” she said softly, rising to her feet. “I think I will take a short stroll amongst the trees, otherwise I am likely to fall asleep in the heat!”
“Nothing wrong with that!” chortled one of the gentlemen as he leaned back on his elbows. “Enjoy your walk, Miss Cadogan.”
Charlotte smiled and began to move away, giving the slightest shake of her head in Theodora’s direction to tell her that she did not need to join her. In truth, she did not want anyone’s company in particular. She was saddened that Lord Astor had sat so far from her, especially after their conversation in the carriage. The fact that he had done so much for her in order to get Lord Barker as far away from her as possible spoke volumes—so why had he chosen to sit so far away?
Sighing heavily, Charlotte wandered through the woods, trying her best to enjoy the warm air and beautiful birdsong that surrounded her.
“Miss Cadogan?”
A male voice came from her left, startling her. Hurrying footsteps came towards her, and as she turned, she saw none other than Lord Astor coming towards her, his expression wretched.
“Lord Astor,” she murmured, putting one hand to her chest in an attempt to calm her frantically beating heart. “I am quite all right to walk alone, you need not worry about keeping me company.”
He drew closer to her, his eyes fixed on her face. “I have been desperate to talk to you alone,” he said. “I had to seat myself away from you so that I would not blurt out all that I had to say.”
“Oh,” Charlotte replied in a small voice. “I thought that it was—”
“You thought I did not wish for your company,” he interrupted, understanding at once. “No, my dear Miss Cadogan that is not it at all.”
Charlotte looked up at him, seeing the pain in his eyes. “What was it you wished to say, Lord Astor?” she asked quietly.
He let out a long breath and dropped his head, coupling his hands in front of him. “I come to beg for your forgiveness.”
FOURTEEN
Charlotte’s heart jumped.
“I should never have turned from you in the way I did,” Lord Astor continued, looking utterly guilt-ridden. “You came to me for help, and I did not aid you in any way. In fact, I am quite sure I made your struggle worse.”
“You did,” Charlotte admitted with no trace of judgement in her voice. “I do not understand why you did such a thing, Lord Astor.”
“Just Charles, please,” he begged, drawing closer to her. His eyes were filled with regret, his hand reaching out for hers—only for him to drop it, as if afraid to touch her.
Charlotte held his gaze steadily, questions filling her mind. “Why did you turn away from me so? Why not even look at me?”
“If I had, I might have seen your face,” he murmured, his finger gently brushing her still bruised lip. His expression grew angry as his gaze lingered there. “That blaggard!”
“Please,” Charlotte begged, as heat rippled all through her from his touch. “Please tell me why you would not look at me. What had I done?”
Lord Astor closed his eyes and stepped back from her.
Charlotte felt the loss immediately, confused as to why he’d done so.
“You will think ill of me when I tell you,” Charles replied heavily. “Forgive me for believing it, but I thought you too free with your favours.”
Charlotte drew in a sharp breath, her eyes widening as she quickly realised what he meant. “You saw me with Lord Barker,” she breathed, her hand going to her mouth. “Oh, goodness!”
“I did,” Lord Astor replied, his eyes dropping from her face as he hung his head. “And I thought the worst. I never once thought that he might be unwanted in his attentions, even though I had seen the anxiousness on your face when he spoke to you in the ballroom.”
Swallowing the lump in her throat, Charlotte closed her eyes and fought tears. She did not want to recall what Lord Barker had done, but the fact that Lord Astor had seen them together made the memory even worse. “
I am so embarrassed that you witnessed that,” she whispered, her eyes still closed as rivulets of tears flowed from under her lashes. “I have never been more afraid. Had I not managed to escape, then he…he…”
“Hush.”
Lord Astor’s handkerchief was pressed into her hand and, as she opened her eyes, she saw him study her with a pained expression.
“I should have spoken to you,” he said frankly. “I should have listened to what you had to say, I should have reasoned with myself over what I had seen. I saw you back away from the man, I saw you try to leave his company, but still he pushed. For whatever reason, my mind refused to let go of Miss Douglas, and so I put you in with the same category as her. My past will not let me go, no matter how hard I try, and in the end, it has caused you pain and suffering which I cannot forgive myself for.”
Charlotte dabbed at her eyes and sniffed, frustrated with herself for becoming a watering pot. Drawing in a shaky breath, she lifted her head and tried to smile.
“Lord Barker is part of my past too, my lord,” she began, her voice wobbling. “When I saw him, I was so afraid that I wanted to return home almost at once—but I knew I could not do that to my dear sister who was so excited to be spending time with your brother.”
“They are very much in love, are they not?” he asked with a slightly wry smile.
“Yes, they are,” Charlotte admitted, crumpling the handkerchief between her hands. “I confess that I have not al
ways seen your brother in a favourable light, for I too allowed my past difficulties with Lord Barker to influence how I thought of Lord Markham.”
Lord Astor gave a small smile, his expression a little brighter than before. “Then you understand.”
“I do,” Charlotte answered quietly. “But I will not pretend that your actions did not cause me a great deal of pain, although now, at least, I can see why you would think of me in such critical terms.”
“I do beg your forgiveness,” he whispered, taking a small step towards her. “I know I was wrong, and I admit as much, here and now. I swear I will do all I can to make things up to you.”
Charlotte considered for a moment, her breath catching as she looked up into his face, realising just how close he was to her. “I do forgive you, my lord,” she replied, fresh tears sparkling in her eyes. “I understand why you thought of me the way you did. I find that I cannot hold it against you. You have my thanks for all that you have done, as regards Lord Barker. To know that he is gone from Bath as well as from London brings me a great deal of relief.”
Lord Astor closed his eyes for a moment, his breath releasing in a hearty sigh of relief. “You are too good, Charlotte,” he said softly, one hand finally reaching to take hers. At the mention of her Christian name tumbling out of his firm lips, Charlotte nearly melted.
“I confess that when I realised just how badly I had wronged you, it was only then that I realised just how much I cared for you.”
Charlotte could find nothing to say, her entire being alive with a fire she had never experienced before. When he ran his fingers over her cheek, brushing away the dampness of her tears, she felt stars sparkle all around her. His touch heated her skin, spiralling heat into her very core. The softness of his expression, the tenderness of his touch, brought nothing but joy to her heart as she realised that there was something still between them, something glorious and wonderful.
“My dear Charlotte,” he continued, his eyes meeting hers. “I cannot tell you just how glad I am that you have accepted me back into your company. I would have been heartbroken had you refused to speak to me, even though you would have had every right to do so.”
A gentle smile spread across her face as she pressed his hand. “I think you understand me more than any other,” she replied, a touch ruefully. “You have been brought pain by a deep love you thought returned, just as I had with Lord Barker. We both have allowed that to change our view on love and happiness, have we not?” She let out a quiet laugh as the humour of her situation hit her. “In fact, we have both done the same to those we love! You have attempted to pull your brother away from my sister, and I have tried to prevent my sister from falling in love with your brother!”
“And yet, love prevails,” he answered, now capturing her other hand in his. “I know this is quite unorthodox, my dear Charlotte, please do me the honour of becoming my wife. I find it quite unbearable to live without you.”
Charlotte felt as though the world had come to a sudden halt around her. The birdsong disappeared into nothingness, the sun shone its bright light only on her and Lord Astor, as she stared at him, stunned.
“I cannot think that I would ever love another,” he said softly, dropping her hands so that he might catch her around the waist. “I have pushed the love I felt for you away over and over, until finally, I was forced to admit that I felt such a deep emotion for you that it could only be love.” He shook his head, a wry smile tugging at his lips. “I have tried to pretend, tried to put all thought of you from my mind. I cannot get you from my heart, Charlotte. Say that you will marry me. Say that you will make me happy for the rest of my days. I swear to you that I will spend every moment of my life doing whatever I can to make you happy. Your smile is all the repayment I need.” His eyes looked into hers as he drew her close, and Charlotte found she could not look away. “Will you marry me, Charlotte? Will you give me the privilege to provide and care for you for the rest of your life?”
A slow, brilliant smile spread across Charlotte’s face as she wrapped her arms around Lord Astor’s neck.
“Oh, Charles,” she murmured, as he rested his forehead lightly against her own. “I cannot imagine anything better. I too have struggled with my feelings for you, but I confess that the seeds of love are already sewn in my heart. I find myself unable to do without you.” She took a deep breath, then whispered, “Yes…yes!”
His kiss was hot and sweet as he crushed her to him, the pain and hurt of what they had each endured slowly withering away, crushed into the ground at their feet. Charlotte kissed Lord Astor back with all the love she felt, knowing that her heart was forever bound with his. This was the man who could make her happy, the man who could bring her life the joy and delight it had been missing for so long. She clung to him for a long while until, finally, he broke the kiss.
“I am more than delighted,” he whispered, still holding her close. “It shall be a double wedding then, I think.”
“A double wedding?” Charlotte replied, surprised. “You mean, your brother—”
“Intends to ask your sister today, yes,” he replied with a chuckle. “What wonderful news we have to share. I expect it shall be about six weeks altogether until we are able to wed. I do not know how I shall endure the wait!”
“It is wonderful news indeed,” Charlotte agreed, resting her head on his shoulder. “For you have restored my broken heart, Charles. Your love has bound up my wounds.”
“And you have healed mine,” he replied softly, his fingers brushing down the curve of her neck. “My dear Charlotte. I love you so very much. You have made me the happiest of men.”
Charlotte sighed happily, resting in his embrace. Finally, all their troubles were behind them, and in their place shone a bright and glorious future. She could not have been happier.
The End
BONUS CHAPTER 1: A GAME OF CHANCE
Chapter One
“On you go now. Be brave.”
Lady Eleanor Drake, fourth daughter of the Duke of Hainsworth, patted her elder sister’s hand and tried to smile. She knew full well that her sister did not wish to marry the Marquess of Malford, but that due to her father’s insistence that she do so or be cut off from the family, she had very little choice.
“I cannot,” Alice wailed, tears spilling from her eyes as she refused to leave the carriage. “I love another.”
Eleanor, or Nora for short, blinked rapidly, staring at her sister in shock. Alice, being her twin sister, had very similar colouring to Nora, with her light blonde hair and beautiful blue eyes. Those eyes now looked back at her with utter misery in them.
Alice grasped Nora’s hands. “He said he would be here. He said he would come and now…”
“Who, Alice?” Nora asked firmly. “Tell me who it is you are speaking of.”
Alice sniffed, and in frustration, Nora pulled out her lace handkerchief and handed it to her sister. Biting her lip, she waited patiently for Alice to stop crying and speak a little more coherently, all the while knowing that their father was waiting for them both inside the church.
“Viscount Lester,” Alice whispered, her eyes dropping to her toes. “We have been secretly in love for many months, but you know that Father would never accept him.”
Nora closed her eyes and tried not to let the pain she felt for her sister pierce her heart. “Oh, Alice. How foolish. You know Father would never allow him to court you. His title is of no consequence, and besides which, Father has already stated that he will determine each of our marriages.”
Alice shook her head. “I will not marry that man. He is twice my age and has already lost one wife.”
“You must,” Nora exclaimed, despite the knowledge that she was condemning her sister to a lifetime of misery by urging her into such a thing. “Father will not stand for your refusal.”
“Father will not stand for anyone getting in his way,” Alice replied, lifting her chin and looking back firmly into Nora’s face. “I am tired of it, Nora. I will not do
what he asks. I must find courage from somewhere, even if Lord Lester does not appear.”
Fear clutched at Nora’s heart. She and Alice had already witnessed what would occur if one of them refused to do as their father said. Their eldest sister, Martha, had steadfastly refused to be married to a gentleman of their father’s choosing, mostly due to the fact that he was the age of their father and had an alleged penchant for beating his staff and anyone else who got in his way. She had been sent from the house with nothing but the clothes on her back.
Nora could still remember how she had pressed her face up against the window as Martha had stood on the doorstep, her shawl around her shoulders as her tear-streaked face peered back up at her. Somehow, Alice had managed to throw a few shillings down to her from a window, but since that day, Martha had never been seen or heard from again. Sometimes at night, Nora would wake with the certainty that Martha was calling her from somewhere and would rush to the window to see if she was there, but of course, she never was. Nora had never forgotten that moment, even though it was, by now, eight years since Martha had left, and the fear of it still lingered deep within her soul.
“Please, Alice,” she pleaded, grasping Alice’s hands tightly. “You cannot do this.”
“I can, if only Lord Lester would come,” Alice whispered, her face now white and pinched, yet determined. “He said he would attend, he said…” She trailed off as a sudden rumble of carriage wheels was heard, her eyes widening as she looked out of the window.
“Alice, no!” Nora exclaimed, as Alice began to scrabble at the door. “You cannot do this! What will Father say?”
Pausing, Alice looked back at her sister. “Do you remember Caroline?”
Shaking her head, Nora tried to deny what she already knew – their sister Caroline, the sister between Alice and Martha, who had been married to Lord Abernathy for a little over a year. The last time they had seen her, she had been a shadow of her former self – pale, gaunt, and with no light in her eyes. She had not even seemed pleased to see them.