A Sea of Smoke: A Dark Romance (A War of Hearts Book 2)

by Karen Lynn

  The depth of his emotion astonished him.

  A huge smile spread across her face. “I missed you too.” Suddenly remembering Steven's text, she whipped out her cell. He watched her with growing curiosity as she scrolled through her emails.

  “I have something to show you.” Beaming with increasing excitement, she clicked on the dissolution of marriage.

  Jake's face lit up. Holy crap! I never expected her to go through with it.

  “That was fast!” He couldn't erase the grin and tugged her to him.

  “I told them to expedite it. It’s an emergency!” Her eyes danced across his face, the afternoon no longer an issue. “And maybe Marty felt guilty about fucking you, and is trying to kiss my ass.” She laughed, truly believing every word.

  Jake pushed her back playfully, unable to hold back his desire any longer.

  * * *

  Kristen languished in the warm tub, delighting in the silky comfort of the bath oils penetrating her pores. The last time she was so consumed by relaxation and peace like this was beyond the scope of her memory. She lay her head back, allowing the water to saturate her hair and closed her eyes. She drifted, imagining she was floating on a cloud, until Jake’s entrance distracted her. Hesitant to exit her daydream, she barely opened her eyes.

  He stooped next to the tub, taking her in from head to toe. At first, she didn't register the fact that he was totally dressed. Baffled, she sprang upright, causing water to splatter all over.

  “Where are you going?”

  Jake's eyes saddened as he searched for the words. They weren't necessary, Kristen read his mind. “Why are you leaving?” With her body halfway out of the water, she froze.

  “I told you, Kris. We need some time apart…to sort things out.” It was hard for him to look at her, but harder to look away.

  Stumbling out of the tub, she grabbed his t-shirt, clutching it tightly in her fists. “No! I showed you the divorce papers, isn't that what you wanted?” The water glistened on her face, droplets mingling with the fresh tears slowly sliding down her reddened cheeks. Ignoring the cold temperature and chattering teeth, she scoured his face.

  Jake resolved not to let her penetrate his soul or force him to waver. Reaching for a large towel, he wrapped it around her, drawing her into his arms. “I need more than that Kris, I'm sorry. You backed out of the divorce before. Prove to me that its going forward this time, then maybe...” he murmured, closing his eyes, struggling to overcome the angst provoked by her trembling.

  “That takes time, Jake. It doesn't happen overnight.” Her muffled words disappeared in his chest.

  “Then let’s take one day at a time, I'm being patient, just like you told me.”

  Stunned, she wrestled out of his arms. Stepping back, her mouth fell open when she recognized the emptiness in his eyes. As she delved deeper she realized he also enjoyed the heartless punishment he was inflicting upon her. Worst of all, he had used her, tricking her into believing he changed his mind.

  “I can't believe you are torturing me like this, Jake, and your baby as well. I hope it makes you feel really good!” In a fit of rage, she pushed her hands against his chest, desperate to shove him away. As usual it was unsuccessful since it took little effort on his part to remain rooted in place.

  A pained expression spread across his face. Her flare-up and accusations were beyond his comprehension. He had never construed his actions that way at all. Baffled, he stepped aside. She huffed past him, he followed her to the bedroom. Out of the blue it dawned on him. Every word she said was true. He never considered himself a spiteful person, yet here he was hurting himself and the baby just to get back at her. And the most shocking part: it was very satisfying.

  Refusing to look at him, she stopped briefly to put on a robe.

  It doesn’t feel right to end it like this, I have to get her to understand. Grabbing her arm as she sailed by him on the way to the kitchen, he held onto her. She glared up at him, her nostrils flaring.

  “This is the only way you understand, Kristen. You already proved it. Every time I went easy on you, you screwed me over. I warned you if you did it again what would happen, but you didn't believe me or care.”

  She exploded. “Just tell me one thing, Jake—how long have you been cheating on me?”

  He couldn’t repress his snicker. “That's all you think about? There's no one else Kristen. This is all about us working it out, me and you, period!”

  “You're a liar! Just like you were when you fucked Tia and Marty!”

  “Stop it Kristen! You're not making any sense and you’re gonna wake the baby!”

  “Then get out Jake! And don't bother coming back with your mercy money, I don't need it! Take your fucking vacation or whatever you call it and leave!” Against her will tremors rocked her body as she struggled to hold back the tears.

  When he reached out to touch her, she screamed at him, slapping his hands away. It quickly became obvious that she was inconsolable and staying longer would simply get him in trouble. With a disillusioned sigh he gave up, hoisted the bag onto his shoulder and stalked out of the room. Once the sound of the engine drifting off into the darkness assured he was out of reach, she sank to the floor and cried with a crippling vengeance.

  JAKE/KRISTEN

  Six days and counting since Jake moved out. He managed to see Alex two evenings for a few minutes, but she refused to even look at him, let alone speak. In his mind, he was certain he was doing the right thing, but he was broken and consumed with loneliness. Each day became more difficult to concentrate on his artwork and the mural wasn't turning out to be the masterpiece he envisioned. Henry commented on his lack of enthusiasm, as it seemed to be affecting others around him, as well as the finished product he had paid him a nice chunk of cash for. Jake held back on details, only disclosing that he was having relationship issues.

  “Relationships, relationships—why are they so complicated? How is your son? Does she let you see him?” Henry maintained a carefree attitude while paying close attention to Jake’s body language as they shared a few beers at a little table next to the bar. A temporary lull in activity between lunch and dinner service allowed them the time to chill out and talk.

  “Not really. I haven't seen him in a few days,” Jake reflected, his head bowed while he rubbed his forehead.

  “Why not? You need to assert your rights! Maybe you need a night out on the town, to refresh yourself.” Henry chuckled, getting up to attend to the dinner crowd trickling into the restaurant.

  Jake sat rooted in place, his face hidden behind his hair to conceal his shame. Ever since the day Kristen refused to talk to him at the house, he had successfully numbed himself, blocking her from of his mind, not allowing any part of his day to revolve around her. The nights were another story altogether, but he dealt with those by drinking until he passed out. Henry brought all the pain back to life.

  Alone in his room, he broke down, letting the tears that he fought so hard to hold back drain from his soul. It didn’t take him long to figure out what he really needed. He missed Alex terribly. The desire to be with him and share every second of his new life was overwhelming. And Kristen? He regretted leaving her so much his body ached, yet his stubbornness prevented him from being fulfilled. He couldn’t let her win. Instead he lay on his bed, lifeless and awash with mental exhaustion, too depressed to move.

  When the phone rang he lunged at it, sending it catapulting across the room. It seemed so ridiculous he couldn't help laughing. His heart was in his throat when he retrieved it and clicked the answer key. At the sound of his mother’s voice, a disappointed sigh escaped his lips.

  “Jake, what's wrong?”

  There was deep concern in her voice. Between his despair and the knowledge he couldn't hide anything from her, there was no choice other than confessing his misery.

  “You need to go back home son. Why are you letting your hard head control your heart? Think about your baby. Don't you think he needs his daddy?” Her voice r
esonated with tenderness in his ears.

  He listened in silence, afraid if he spoke he would break into pieces.

  “Do you love her Jake?”

  When she asked the question, the one he avoided asking himself, he lost it. She waited. It seemed like an eternity, before he exhaled and managed to speak.

  “Yes. She tried to do what I wanted but I was too hurt to accept it. I wanted her to suffer.” As he listened to his own words, he realized what a heartless jerk he was.

  “Then get over it, go to her, forgive her and go on with your life. I know you feel abused, but don't hurt yourself even more. Don't prevent yourself from enjoying the happiness you deserve, Jake. And think about your son. You promised you would be there for him didn't you?”

  Jake couldn't wait another minute. Everything she said was true. It had been long enough.

  * * *

  Kristen was coping the best she could. When she warned Jake not to come back, she felt powerful, then as the days crawled by, her strength dissolved into debilitation.

  Taking it day by day, just like he said.

  Walking around like a zombie, numb and listless, her eyes red and swollen, she just wanted to die. Several times, she picked up the phone to call him, then in a fit of despair flung it down and began to weep instead.

  The baby was her entire life, every moment centered around him. When he slept, she tried to keep busy so she wouldn't have to think—thinking lead her straight back to Jake and how much she missed him.

  The first few days he was gone were spent in a state of total depression, taking care of the baby, crying, barely eating and sleeping long hours. One day she managed to motivate herself enough to pull out the large drawing pad and charcoal. Much to her surprise she jumped right into the zone, even started a portrait. The strange part was before she was halfway done, it already resembled Jake.

  When he came by the house to see Alex, she hid the drawing pad and fled to the bathroom, refusing to speak to him. If she did, she was fearful she would break down and give in. At first he pounded on the door in a vehement attempt to draw her out. But her stubbornness won out and she stayed holed up in the bathroom, determined not to weaken. The next day when he returned, he didn't even bother. By then, convinced he didn't love her anymore, she told herself one way or another, she would have to go on without him.

  At the same time, Logan barraged her with daily texts and voice messages. His plea sentencing hearing date was fast approaching and his devastation made him desperate to see her. So far, she had been tough enough to resist the temptation to speak to him. But her resolve was quickly deteriorating.

  Now almost one week later, she crumpled. When Logan called, she answered.

  “Krissy, I really need to see you before the hearing next week,” he moaned.

  Closing her eyes, she let out a heavy sigh.

  “Logan, don't you understand what you did, how you hurt me? Why did you have to tell that piece of shit where we were when you know how evil and sick he is?” Beyond exhaustion, it almost didn't matter anymore. Nothing did.

  “No, because it wasn't my fault. I told you, I owe him and he took advantage when I was too fucked up to do anything.”

  “I don’t care what you owe him, Logan! I know you weren't too fucked up to understand he was going to drug and rape me!”

  “Rape? No! I didn't know, I swear Krissy please!”

  “That’s bullshit Logan! I heard you saying you would find someone else—you knew! Maybe you tried to stop him this time, but you are as much a rapist as he is!” As her words sank in, a heavy weight lifted off of her chest. Even if she couldn't or wouldn’t prosecute them, she needed him to worry, to suffer, like she did every single day. And when he got served with the dissolution of marriage any day now, it would hurt even more. The empowerment was its own special reward, and she couldn’t resist pushing it further.

  “If you weren’t helping me now, I would press charges against both of you.”

  Logan was quiet at first. When he finally spoke, his voice was shaky.

  “I'm sorry Krissy, I never meant for it to happen. I owe him and, I swear, he never told me what he was gonna do.”

  Shaking her head in disbelief, she didn't know if she should run out and kill him or find it in her heart to forgive him. Nick was a major sleaze ball and she didn't put anything past him. For years, he had Logan trapped in the palm of his hand and anything was possible. Regardless, she couldn't let him off the hook so easily.

  “What did you owe him?” The numbness made it easy to keep her tone emotionless.

  Logan didn't want to tell her about his disastrous arrangement with Nick involving Gina. Or his paranoid belief that Jonny connected him to Ray’s death. Nick mentioned Jonny telling him about it. Now he was certain they both were holding it over his head. The fear it produced gnawed at his brain, haunting him more and more ever since the Gina fiasco.

  It will only freak her out more if she knows everything.

  “Money. I can't tell you more than that, but it's bad. Please, just believe me, I didn't know about the roofies until after—”

  “—You arranged for him to have sex with me over money? With my baby there? Oh my God!” She couldn't hold back her tears any longer. How could I have been so spellbound by him to fail to see what a monster he really is? And now Jake is gone because of it. The only one who won’t hurt me is my baby. Yet.

  Her sobs changed to delirious laughter.

  “No… I tried to stop it… are you okay?”

  Her head throbbing, Logan’s voice vibrated in her ears. The strange sound so faint, so far off in the void, it could’ve been a bad dream. But it droned on and she wasn’t sleeping.

  “No. I'm not okay. You are insane, he could've killed me. Do you realize that? Do you even care?”

  “Of course I care! I love you!”

  When she heard the door opening, she stood paralyzed. It was only eight p.m. and still light outside, but her mind went black with fear.

  Jake entered, hesitant but steadfast, a sheepish look on his face. There was something different in his eyes, an undefinable feverish glow. Love, blind lust, madness? Unable to think straight, she stood wide-eyed and confused.

  A sudden loud thump drew her eyes to his duffle bag on the floor, before they rose to his face again. Her hands fluttered to her chest, the phone limp in her fingers as she remained gaping at him. Without blinking, she pressed the end call button, blocking out Logan's muffled voice.

  He didn't give a damn who she was talking to. This time, none of that mattered. All he cared about was the love shining in her eyes, the way her bright copper curls framed her flushed face, the gentle parting of her lips as they flipped into a tentative smile. The inviting warmth of her body.

  “Jake,” she murmured, her muscles cramping as he rushed to her.

  Sensing her turmoil, he cupped her face in his hands, his eyes reassuring.

  “Kris, I love you. I'm sorry...” There was more he needed to tell her, but her mouth crushed his, claiming his lips as her own.

  * * *

  A few hours later they were awakened by the baby's cries, which grew progressively louder.

  “I'll take care of him. Rest, you've been through enough,” Jake whispered, his hand holding her back. Too depleted to protest, she nodded, rolling onto her side to take in every second of their special bond.

  Alex's wailing continued, even as Jake rocked him. Concerned, he handed him to her. She pressed her lips against his forehead, then began soothing him until the frantic cries turned into little whimpers.

  “Is he sick?” Jake hovered over them, his brows drawn together on his tautened face.

  “He's fine, just hungry and grumpy.” She narrowed her eyes, giving Jake that familiar, mischievous look. As soon as he picked up on it, he let out a deep, weighted sigh of relief, ruffled her hair and bounced out of bed. A few minutes later he sank down next to them, placing the warm bottle in Alex's eager mouth. After a second he let her take over
, his hand firmly on hers as she held it. They remained quiet, enjoying the low slurping noises as he tugged on the bottle.

  “He has a powerful mouth, just like his daddy.” With pride glimmering in her eyes, she laid her head on Jake's muscular arm.

  Elated and speechless he couldn’t rip his eyes from them. How could I have ever considered leaving for good?

  Clearing his throat, he caressed Alex's cheeks.

  “Did I ever tell you that it was my birthday the day we met?” He dropped his gaze, overcome by the huge lump in his throat.

  “No! You never did!” Hugging Alex closer, she gazed at Jake in surprise.

  “Yeah, well it was kind of a touchy subject at the time.” Pausing as the day became vibrant in his mind, his shy glance met hers. “You were my special gift.”

  She giggled, holding back the building tears at the same time. What could she say or do? After all the trauma they had been through in such a short period of time, his confession was overwhelming.

  They returned Alex to his crib and lay silent in the comfort of each other’s arms, allowing the weariness of the day to bear down on them and lull them to sleep. Hopefully, this time all the dark memories would be obliterated forever.

  CHAPTER 19

  THURSDAY, WEEK 15

  JAKE/KRISTEN

  Jake felt the time was right to dress and go to work. After a peaceful sleep, his lightheaded happiness promised a productive day. And it was only 8:00 a.m. Unwilling to let him go, she slid onto his lap, preventing him from putting on his sneakers.

  “Did you ever feel like returning your birthday gift?”

  A look of surprise crossed his face, giving way to a satisfied grin. “Thinking about it, huh?” She gave him a coy nod, her eyes wandering across his face.

  After a pause, he kissed her forehead. “Maybe just once.” He smiled, knowing it wasn't entirely true.