After Jasper did his business, and Kyle cleaned up, he scooped up his writhing dog and took the three steps up into the bookstore. Kyle hesitated before he went inside, studying the plain concrete stairs and the curved wrought iron railings.
Stone planters with flowers would really set Forrester’s stoop apart from everyone else’s. Kyle grinned at his idea and opened the door. He would have to keep an eye out for the right style planters. Ones on a slight pedestal would be nice. And Kyle could fill them with low-maintenance flowers. Definitely annuals so the blooms would last until fall.
The bell on the door announced his arrival, and he scanned all the customers inside, spying Forrester instantly because he was so tall. As it did every time he saw his new boyfriend, happiness stirred in his chest.
Forrester’s face brightened, and he made a beeline through all the customers toward Kyle. Today he wore a black T-shirt with Time Lord written in big letters across the chest, and baggy khakis that didn’t hide the long, sexy line of his legs. Kyle couldn’t help but think he did resemble the Raggedy Doctor Matt Smith had played, all tall and lanky and having no clue how sexy he made geek. Forrester moved through the store with a casual, athletic grace, his entire body so seamless and easy. Suddenly Kyle longed to see him out on a dance floor… shirtless… in low-rise jeans… all sweaty… gyrating his hips against Kyle to a heavy beat….
Deep in his gut, Kyle knew Forrester wouldn’t get annoyed or impatient with him in a noisy setting like that.
You’ve got to tell him. No more putting it off!
Jasper snorted and squirmed the second he saw Forrester.
“Hey, mutt,” Forrester said, scratching the pooch. Then he gave Kyle a one-armed hug and stepped back. “You have a good day at work?”
The contact ended far too quickly for Kyle’s liking, but he smiled. “Same as any other. My boss put me on a case connected to that big heroin ring, which is kinda cool.”
“Congratulations.”
“Thanks.” Kyle smiled up at him. “Happy birthday.”
“Thanks.”
“Hi, Kyle.” Holly came out from behind the counter too.
“Hey.” Kyle gave her a hug. Jasper freaked out, snorting and squirming as she petted him. Kyle could barely contain him.
“You’re so cute,” she cooed to the dog. The two pretty baristas behind the counter watched them, smiling at Jasper.
“I ordered takeout at Riverbend,” Forrester told him. “I thought we could eat it by the river.”
Kyle couldn’t suppress his grin. “Like a picnic?”
“That okay?”
“Sounds perfect.” Kyle rose to his tiptoes to give Forrester a soft kiss on the lips. The instant he did it, Kyle froze. “Um….” He hesitated.
Had he really just kissed his not-out boyfriend in public?
Forrester’s face turned an interesting shade of red as his baristas giggled. He frowned at them. “Ha-ha-ha. Kyle and Forrester sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G,” he chanted, then scoffed. “Just get back to work, would ya?”
“Yes, Mr. Giordano,” one of the girls said. Both of them looked guilty.
Holly just laughed.
Kyle let out a shaky breath, relieved Forrester wasn’t upset. But then again, they were in his store, not near his family. He’d have to be more careful, though. He wouldn’t be the reason Forrester was accidentally outed.
“YOUR TABLE awaits, sir,” Forrester declared as he spread out a blanket. He was excited to give Kyle a picnic by the water.
They’d found an open space close to the riverbank on the towpath. The path stretched about ten miles, being part of the old canal system, though most of it wasn’t maintained, just the parts closest to Gilead. Before them lay the mighty Shiloh River, its muddy waters glistening in the sun as it babbled over the rocks below the dam.
Chuckling, Kyle joined him, sitting cross-legged. He hooked the handle of Jasper’s leash around his foot, giving his dog a little space to roam while freeing up his hands to eat.
Forrester opened the bags and started setting up their lunch. Jasper didn’t wander far before his sniffer caught a whiff of the food. Not about to let the dog root around in their lunch, Kyle said, “Jasper, sit.”
He obeyed, but he trembled with hungry anticipation, licking his chops.
Forrester grinned. “Don’t worry, Jasp. I got you your own hamburger.”
“Dogs can’t have onions. They’re poisonous,” Kyle told him. “And cheese just gives him gas.”
Forrester laughed. “Oh ho ho, you don’t have to remind me about that little fart blossom. Don’t worry. I just got him bread and meat.” He opened a container and began ripping the burger into tiny pieces.
“You spoil him,” Kyle scolded.
“You both love it.”
“We do.”
Forrester had ordered Kyle a grilled-chicken Caesar salad, and a triple cheeseburger, fries, and a milkshake for himself. His stomach rumbled, and he hadn’t realized how hungry he was.
Kyle put a hand on his arm, drawing his gaze. “Forrester?”
“What?”
“I’m sorry. You know, um, for kissing you back there.”
Feigning nonchalance, he shrugged. “It’s fine. They know we’re dating.”
“Yeah, but I’m still sorry. What if I accidentally did that in front of someone in your family? We have to be careful. I have to be careful. I know that. Things are going so well—”
Forrester placed a hand on his shoulder. “Yeah, we do need to be careful, and I’m sorry about that. But don’t worry. Let’s just enjoy a picnic and leave the heavy stuff for another time?”
“Yeah, okay.”
Yes, Forrester had been embarrassed, but he’d been more surprised than anything. He liked it when Kyle touched him. How would he have reacted if Kyle had done that in front of his family, though?
Forrester fought down a shiver of apprehension.
No, the afternoon was perfect, and he didn’t want to worry about that right now. His family was miles away, and Kyle was mere inches. He just wanted to enjoy this perfect afternoon by the river, with the rush of the water over the rapids and the faint call of birds.
And the man he was crazy about at his side.
They sat quietly eating, occasionally making a comment or laughing at Jasper’s antics. Kyle snapped a pic of Jasper on his hind legs, “sitting pretty” for a treat from Forrester. When Forrester saw the caption Kyle put on the post, his heart melted.
I’m having lots of fun at my picnic by the #river. But I have to remind them this #romantic #picnic is #allaboutme #dogslife #mytwodaddies
“Awww,” Forrester said.
Kyle’s hazel eyes twinkled, and it was all Forrester could do not to grab him and kiss him right then and there.
“Shit,” Kyle said, startling Forrester.
Other than when they were having sex, Kyle rarely cussed. “What’s wrong?”
“These two people coming. I know them.”
Forrester looked where Kyle indicated. Two women, one short and one tall, were walking toward their picnic spot, obviously signing. “You don’t like them?”
He made a seesaw gesture with his hand. When the two women spied Kyle, he put on a charming smile and waved. “Pick up Jasper so he won’t jump all over them and I can sign, okay?”
Forrester stood and did as asked, and Jasper snorted, wriggling in his arms as they faced the newcomers. The short chubby blonde said, “Hi, Kyle!” while the tall woman with red hair and a bright smile greeted them with a wave. Forrester didn’t know any sign language—maybe Kyle would have to teach him some—but hello was universal.
Without moving his lips, Kyle signed to the woman and pointed at Forrester. Then he looked at Forrester and said, “This is Amy and Jenny.”
The redhead, Amy, looked directly at Forrester in that same open way Kyle did when he read his lips. She signed something and Kyle interpreted, “She said it’s nice to meet you.”
Jenny, on the o
ther hand, reached out and shook Forrester’s hand, saying in garbled speech, “Hi, it’s nice to meet you. Are you Kyle’s boyfriend?”
Her long blonde hair covered her ears, so Forrester couldn’t tell if she had a CI like Kyle. She was sweet and bubbly, and her smile was infectious. Forrester grinned. “Yes, I’m the boyfriend. It’s nice to meet you guys.” Her gaze never left Forrester’s mouth when he spoke.
“Is this your dog? Can I pet him?” Jenny asked, her eyes bright and excited.
“Yes, his name is Jasper. Go right ahead,” Kyle said, signing at the same time.
While Jenny fawned all over Jasper, he spazzed out in Forrester’s arms. Forrester could barely keep hold of him, and Jasper scratched his stomach with a toenail. “Ow! Settle down, Jasper.” He tightened his hold on the pooch.
Amy signed something to Kyle.
“Yes, we’ve been dating a few weeks now,” Kyle said, signing.
Forrester was rather impressed by Kyle’s ease with speaking and signing at the same time. But he got the impression Amy didn’t like it.
Jenny asked him questions about Jasper—how old he was, what kind of dog he was. After a few interactions, Forrester understood her rather easily.
“How do you guys know each other?” Forrester asked Jenny.
She pointed at her ear. “Because we’re deaf.”
Forrester’s smile fell, and Kyle quickly touched his arm. “She’s just teasing you,” he said, signing at the same time. “Shiloh U has a deaf alumni group. That’s where we met.”
Waggling a teasing finger at Jenny, Forrester shook his head. “That wasn’t very nice.”
Jenny laughed, signing to Amy what Forrester had said. Amy laughed, but Forrester had seen her reading his lips. If she could read lips, why were they signing to her like she couldn’t? Maybe she was still learning?
After some casual chitchat that happens with people you don’t know well, Amy and Jenny went on their way.
“Was that awkward for you?” Kyle asked.
Forrester set Jasper down, keeping hold of his leash. “No, why would it be?”
“Jenny is cool, but Amy absolutely refuses to communicate with anyone without sign language. Even hearing people.”
“You know, I thought she could read my lips.”
“She can!” Kyle cried. “I’ve heard her talk too. She talks better than Jenny.”
“Why does she do that?” Forrester wanted to know. They sat back down, cross-legged on the blankets, and he picked up Kyle’s leftover salad. “You gonna finish this?”
Kyle gestured for him to go ahead. “Amy’s Deaf with a capital D. That means she’s all about maintaining Deaf culture and she disapproves of people like me who are”—he did air quotes—“ruining it. Jenny is okay in Amy’s mind because she only uses a hearing aid, but I’m not okay, because I have a CI. She was totally being fake just now.”
“What’s her problem? Sounds nucking futs.” He offered a crouton to Jasper.
Kyle’s expression was unreadable.
Dammit, think before you speak for once! “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”
Kyle made a throwaway gesture. “It’s fine. She’s not exactly my favorite person.”
“Really?” Forrester was a bit surprised by Kyle’s uncharacteristic attitude.
“Yeah, I’ve been bullied by people like Amy my whole life. I just won’t put up with it anymore.”
“I can’t imagine anyone bullying you, Kyle.”
“They did,” he said wistfully. “It’s hard to make real friends if you grew up as a fat kid who talked funny, stuck between the hearing world and the deaf world. Not really belonging in either.”
“What do you mean?”
“I never heard a sound until I was seven years old. I signed and read lips, had an ASL interpreter with me all day in school, but I didn’t talk. Oh, but I made noises. Made me easy pickings for bullies,” he said with a disgusted shake of his head. “I didn’t know how embarrassed I should’ve been by the sound of my own laughter.”
“Don’t say that, Kyle,” Forrester scolded. He adored the unconscious joy in Kyle’s laugh, though to a trained ear it did reveal Kyle had hearing issues.
“It’s fine,” Kyle assured him, though Forrester imagined it probably wasn’t. “When I started hearing, I had to learn how to talk. How to laugh without sounding like something was wrong with me. I spent years in speech therapy, learning how to communicate all over again with a whole new language. The first time I spoke in public without being afraid, I was ten. I ordered my own food at a restaurant. It was the best meal I’d ever tasted.”
Forrester smiled, imagining Kyle as a chubby kid, grinning with pride. He’d probably been adorable.
Kyle was still talking. “I didn’t have many friends as a kid. I went to public school and hearing kids were awkward around me. Even the nice ones could only be patient for so long if they had to communicate with me through my interpreter. Then when I started talking, I sounded different, so I got called ‘retarded,’ stuff like that. It was a very isolating time for me. It shouldn’t have been, because I had my deaf friends at the local group. But some of them had an attitude against me, like I didn’t belong in the community anymore because of my CI.”
“Why would they have an attitude?”
He sighed, sounding exhausted.
“You gotta understand, cochlear implants are controversial. It was really bad when I was a kid because of people like Amy who believe the implants are destroying Deaf culture. It’s cultural genocide, because there’s nothing wrong with us and we don’t need to be fixed. I’ve even heard some say putting an implant in a child is child abuse.”
Forrester frowned. “So it’s child abuse to help your kid hear?”
“They see cochlear implants the way LGBT people think of conversion therapy.”
Forrester raised his hands. “That’s totally not the same thing. It isn’t like you’re forcing someone to deny who they are or telling them they’re diseased or sick.”
Kyle gave him a conceding nod. “You obviously think the way my mom did, which is why I have an implant. But some would argue that point. They say audists are telling them they’re defective, broken.”
“Audists?”
“Audism is thinking you’re superior because you can hear. Acting like all deaf people are miserable without hearing and they need to be fixed.”
“Like racism against deaf people? That’s a thing?” Forrester was shocked by all of this.
“Yeah. Doctors telling hearing parents their deaf child needs a CI or they’ll never function in society. Or random hearing people telling a happy deaf person they need to get an implant so they’ll be happy.”
Forrester picked up his milkshake and slurped the remnants. “People actually do that?”
“You’d be surprised.” Kyle sniffed. “I get that it’s rude and frustrating when someone tells a deaf person they should get a CI, but do you know how many times I’ve been told by another deaf person that my mom robbed me of choice and freedom? What a terrible audist she must’ve been? When I first got the CI, my deaf friends with deaf parents called me a traitor. They either excluded me or outright bullied me because I wasn’t one of them. I was just a little boy. I didn’t understand why my friends suddenly didn’t like me.” Kyle held up a finger on point. “Mind you, people like that don’t represent the whole community, but there’s enough who share Amy’s way of thinking that there’s a definite divide. It’s like they want hearing people to respect their life as a deaf person, but meanwhile they’re looking down on me and my mom for getting me a CI.”
“I’ve never heard of any of this.”
“The way I see it, my CI is just a tool I use to have the life I want. Could I have had the same life without it? Probably. And yeah, it was a struggle getting used to it and learning to talk, but my CI works great for me. I won’t put up with other deaf people judging me for having one ever again. I dated a guy once who had a real problem wit
h it.”
He tried not to appear too interested. “Oh yeah?”
“Forrester, we need to talk.”
His stomach dropped. “About what?”
At once Kyle put a hand on Forrester’s arm, his eyes wide. “Don’t make that face. It’s nothing bad. I just need to tell you something.”
He let out a rush of breath. “Jeez, scare a guy to death, why don’t ya?”
“What? Did you think I was going to break up with you or something?”
“I don’t know,” Forrester said defensively. “No one likes to hear ‘we need to talk.’”
Chuckling, Kyle shook his head, then sobered. “Yeah, but I owe you the truth.”
Now Kyle was really starting to worry him. “The truth?”
“After my mom died, I used to have a lot of sex,” Kyle began. “Like, I mean a lot of sex. It was the only way for me to be happy.”
“Okaaay….” He dragged out the word, unsure what to say.
“I had this reputation, that I was easy. Buy him a beer and he’ll do whatever you want. I hate to admit it, but it was true.”
Not sure where Kyle was going with this, Forrester said, “I did stuff I’m not proud of after Gramps died and even when my dad died. You do dumb things when you’re grieving, and sometimes it doesn’t make sense.”
“True.” Kyle was quiet for a moment, staring out at the river. “Then I met John and fell in love. It’s lonely growing up stuck in between two worlds. Not deaf, but not a hearing person either. When Mom died, it got worse, so when I met John, I thought my life would be so wonderful. Like I would never be lonely again.”
Forrester said nothing, trying to ignore the jealousy prickling up his spine.
“John was Deaf, with a capital D, and he didn’t like my CI. He said I wasn’t living because I had a crutch.”
La Famiglia Page 15