“He better be back in time to eat.” Ma glanced at the wall clock as she placed the flowers in her favorite vase. When she noticed Nonna salting the sauce, she hurried over. Looked like there would be spaghetti too. “Mama, the sauce is fine!”
Forrester and Kyle exchanged looks. Joey said it was none of Forrester’s business what he was discussing with Alfie at Smitty’s the other night. Maybe it was just money, but Joey needed to come forward about the bootleg out-of-state booze and make a statement to cover his own ass before Alfie dragged him back into trouble.
He pulled out his phone and texted Joey: Alfie owes you money? Why? What for?
The sound of the door opening on the back porch drew his attention.
“Whose car is out front?” Tony’s voice rumbled as he stepped inside. He braced his hand on the wall and kicked off his shoes. He wore his uniform, obviously just having left the precinct. He caught a glimpse of Kyle and nodded in his direction. “That your car?”
“Yep, that’s mine.”
“Nice,” Tony said, entering the kitchen in sock-clad feet. “Frankie show you the Shelby?”
Kyle cleared his throat and glanced at Dino. “Actually, he and Joey and I took it out for a spin. That car is awesome.”
“You did, eh?” Tony gave a nod toward Forrester, and then, much to his shock, he pulled Forrester into a firm one-armed hug. Though it was so ordinary and natural, it took Forrester by surprise when he kissed his left cheek too. “Hey, Frankie.”
He hastily returned the hug, slapping his brother’s back. “Hey, Tony.”
Tony stepped away and stared at the food on the stove and the dishes on the dining room table. “What’s all this?”
“It’s dinner,” Ma said. “Don’t you have a kiss for your mother?”
Scowling, he hugged Ma and gave her two kisses on each cheek, and then he paused and studied her face. “You still sick? You look terrible.”
“Thanks a lot.” She turned her back on him to guard the sauce from Nonna.
“Joey told me you had food poisoning,” he said. “Where did you eat? I’ll call the health board.”
“Oh, I don’t really remember,” Ma said dismissively.
Tony hugged Nonna, whispering something in her ear. Forrester thought he heard him say the words parking tickets.
Was Nonna driving behind their backs?
Nothing would surprise Forrester at this point.
The little woman picked up a basket of garlic bread and said something to Dino in Italian. Dino quickly grabbed the other basket and followed her into the dining room.
“Hi, Tony,” Amanda said.
“How come you’re here?” he asked pointedly, and then he looked at Kyle. “And you too?”
Forrester shoved his phone in his pocket and glared. “What’s your problem with Kyle being here?”
“My problem is no one told me Missy should be here. You’re having some big family dinner, and everybody’s wives are here but mine.” He paused, shrugged at Kyle, and chuckled. “No offense.”
“Not cool,” Forrester said.
Ignoring him, Tony frowned again at the food. “What the hell is this all about?”
“Don’t make a big deal out of it,” Amanda chided. “Why didn’t you just bring Missy?”
Tony threw up his arm. “Because nobody told me it was a big family thing. Joey just said Ma wanted to talk to us four boys. Once again nobody bothered to make sure my wife’s here. You know she’s more a part of this family than Kyle. But for some reason, he’s here.”
“He’s here because I want him here,” Forrester growled.
“So?” Tony made a stupid face. “He’s new. She’s my wife. But no one asked her to come. Typical. You guys never make her feel like part of the family.”
“Perché io? Antonio, don’t make a big deal out of this,” Ma begged. “Nobody has a problem with Missy. We all like her.”
Tony frowned at Forrester and Kyle, then at Ma. “Is this some sort of bullshit intervention about Frankie being gay? Because that’s idiotic. I didn’t leave work early for more of that drama.”
“Fuck you, Tony,” Forrester spat, stepping forward, fists at his side. “You got a problem with me, say it to my face.”
“I don’t have a problem with you, Frankie, other than your shitty attitude. What? You gonna hit me or something? What’s the matter with you?”
“What’s the matter with me?” he demanded, then laughed. He waved an arm at Dino, and pointed at Tony. “How about what’s the matter with you two assholes?”
“Hey,” Dino interjected. “I didn’t do anything.”
“Guys,” Amanda began. “Now is not the time.”
Tony laughed, shaking his head. “You’re still sore about me betting on you. Build a bridge, Frankie.”
“So I’m just supposed to get over you jerks making fun of my life? Like it’s nothing but a joke?” Forrester demanded. He glared at Dino, feeling as though he was moments away from losing his shit again or possibly socking both his brothers in the jaw.
“For God’s sake,” Tony cried, throwing out his hands. “I wasn’t making fun of you, ya big baby. I just made a bet that you liked dudes. Get over it!”
“I won’t get over it!”
Nonna said something in Italian, but neither Tony nor Forrester was listening.
“Why not?” Tony demanded. “You wanna split my winnings? If I give you a hundred bucks, will you shut up about it? Jesus Mary and Joseph, you’re so damn oversensitive, I’m—”
“Enough!” Ma yelled. “Just stop it!”
They all froze at the shrill pitch of her demand. Slowly she turned and looked from one face to the next. “I don’t want you boys fighting. Not now.” She muttered a curse in Italian, then crossed herself.
“Sorry, Mama,” they all three muttered.
“And we’re not here to talk about Frankie,” she said, waving her good arm. “He’s been through enough with all the garbage your father used to say to him. I don’t want you boys making it worse. You all better straighten it out. I don’t have time to deal with all this fighting and cancer.”
“Cancer?” Dino cried.
“Did you just say cancer, Ma?” Tony demanded.
She leaned heavily on the counter and crossed her arms, not hiding the wince this time. “I have breast cancer.”
The only sound in the room was the hiss and bubble of the boiling pot of pasta. Nonna joined Ma and placed an arm around her. Forrester nearly started crying when Ma rested her head on Nonna’s shoulder, looking like a little girl, so fragile and small.
Sniffing and rubbing his nose, Forrester took Kyle’s hand and pressed it to his thigh, his gaze on two of the most important women in his life, as the weight of Ma’s confession took its toll on everyone in the room. Even now, after he’d sat with her through her first chemo, those words were like a knife in the heart, a threat, a cloud of doom hanging over their family.
Nothing would ever be the same.
“How come Dino and I are the only two that look surprised?” Tony asked seriously.
“Yeah.” Dino glared at his wife.
Forrester cleared his throat. “Two weeks ago Ma called me to drive her home after she had a lumpectomy. Kyle was with me, and she swore us to secrecy.”
“Why was Kyle there?” Tony asked.
“What’s it matter?” Forrester snapped. “He got her an earlier appointment with a really good oncologist.”
“Oh.” Tony nodded at Kyle. “Thanks for that.”
“No problem.” He squeezed Forrester’s hand in reassurance.
“And you?” Dino asked his wife.
She pointed at her belly. “I can’t be around Ma when she gets radiation, so Frankie told me.”
“But you didn’t tell Missy,” Tony muttered. “What about Baby Anthony being around Ma?”
“Ma hasn’t even started radiation. Get over it,” Forrester snapped. He hadn’t known radiation and chemo didn’t happen at the same time when he
called Amanda, so Tony’s attitude was moot. Not that his brother would probably believe him.
“How long have you known?” Dino asked.
Shaking her head, Ma frowned. “Stop staring at me,” she grumbled, turning her back on all of them to stir the sauce. Nonna stayed close.
“You didn’t have food poisoning. You’re going through chemo already, aren’t you?” Tony surmised.
“Ten points for Detective Giordano,” Ma said sarcastically.
“He always was the smart one,” Nonna said in Italian, beaming at Tony.
Tony gave her a faint smile, his gaze still on Ma.
“Should you even be standing?” Dino asked. “Maybe you should sit and let Amanda do that.”
“I’m fine,” she insisted.
“Let me finish dinner, Ma,” Amanda offered.
Irritably Tony shook his head and stalked off.
Forrester looked at Kyle. “What’s his problem?” he whispered.
Kyle shrugged.
Annoyed, Forrester followed Tony onto the back porch. He drew up short when he heard him on the phone.
“I need you to come over to Ma’s right now.” He paused, and Forrester assumed he was talking to Missy. “Everyone’s here but you. I need you to be here…. Yes, yes, I don’t care, just bring the baby…. I don’t like it how you’re always left out. It’s not fair…. No, I’m not okay…. I’ll tell you when you get here. Yeah, I love you too. Bye.”
When he hung up, he saw Forrester staring at him from the doorway. He rubbed at his face, schooling his features. Knowing how much he needed Kyle today, Forrester felt bad Missy wasn’t there for his brother.
He shut the door and joined him on the porch. “Is Missy coming, then?”
Tony frowned. “She should’ve been here anyways, but nobody told me spouses were coming.”
Forrester noticed he’d switched wives to spouses and wondered if it was intentional or not. “I would’ve told you, but no one is speaking to me except Joey. And Lord knows, he can never get a message right.”
Tony sniffed a laugh. “No, he can’t. But I’m sick of nobody thinking Missy is a part of this family too. And she’s a nurse. Why didn’t any of you think it was important for her to be here for… this?”
Forrester shook his head in confusion. He’d never seen Tony being so hypersensitive about his wife. “Why are you making such a big deal about it?”
“Because none of you guys think she’s part of this family.”
“You’re nuts.”
“No,” Tony said. “I see how you guys treat her.”
“How do we treat her? I’m always nice. I try to talk to her, but she never says much.”
“Exactly.”
“Meaning?”
“Just because she’s quiet she’s not one of us?” Tony went on. “Maybe I like going home to a quiet house, not a bunch of yahoos screaming at each other. Ever think of that?”
Forrester chuckled. “All the time, actually.”
Missy was rather quiet and was just sort of there. Amanda had a presence and made herself known in the room, making it easy to be comfortable with her. He couldn’t imagine it was easy to come into the Giordano clan. Had he been as welcoming to Missy as he should’ve been? Then again, her husband had a way of getting under Forrester’s skin, which made him want to avoid them altogether.
“Tony, just because she’s quiet doesn’t mean we don’t like her. Where did you come up with that nonsense?”
“It’s not nonsense. You didn’t even remember she was vegetarian. And you hug Amanda and kiss her, but you only give Missy a little half-assed hug.”
He rolled his eyes. “Do you want me to start kissing your wife? Is that what you’re saying?”
“Yeah, maybe,” Tony said, looking defensive. “Yes. You should definitely kiss her.”
He didn’t know if he should laugh or be annoyed.
“Frankie, I know Missy doesn’t fit in. I see it on all your faces. You forget I make a living reading people. Watching what people do, how they act, what they really mean. How do you think I knew about you?”
Irritated, he crossed his arms. “What’s that mean?”
Tony shook his head, frowning. “Don’t be all crossing your arms and puffing up your chest, ya idiot. I’m not fighting about this with you anymore. I’ve known you were gay for years. Although Holly kept throwing me for a loop. I couldn’t decide who you were really dating, Lucas or Holly.”
“Guess you’re not so good at reading people, because I never dated either of them.” He’d leave his and Holly’s misguided teenage sexual exploits to another day—like never.
“Well, it was a little easier when I could search your browser history.”
“What?” he blustered. “When did you do that?”
“All the time,” Tony said unapologetically. “You googled a lot of stupid stuff, but when I saw the how to you know what with a guy….” He gestured a finger going into a hole. “It wasn’t exactly difficult to figure out. You really should’ve cleared your browser.”
His face flamed. “You kidding me?”
“No, I wanted to know what was going on.” Tony’s humor faded. “You and me, we used to have all kinds of fun. Boy Scouts, camping. Cruising on our bikes all over. Leaving that bag of shit on Mr. Rowley’s porch. We’d play video games, go to the movies. Then you went to high school and you became a moody asshole.”
“I did not.”
“Did too, and don’t deny it. You’re still a moody asshole. Then you left for OSU, and you basically disappeared from our lives. Even now, you had to move away.”
“I didn’t move away,” he argued. “I still live here.”
Tony shook his head. “You’re never around. You’re always way out in Gilead. But back then I didn’t understand why you changed, so I went snooping through your stuff. I thought you might be on drugs.”
“Why, you nosy little….” He pounded his fist in his hand.
Tony raised his hands in truce, laughing. “Yes, I’m nosy. A, I’m your little brother, and B, I’m a cop. Nosy is literally in our job description.” His tone softened. “I just wanted to know why you changed. Why you hated me all of a sudden.”
A flush of shame went through Forrester, because he hadn’t been very nice to Tony when they were younger. He used to lock him out of their bedroom on a daily basis. He’d even tossed his school books into the sewer once, just to get him into trouble with Dad. Being a Giordano, Tony naturally fought back. Over the years arguing had become what they did. But why had Forrester done all that to him? Jealousy that Dad loved him more? Or had he merely been taking out his frustrations on the nearest target?
“I never hated you,” Forrester assured him. “It was just….” Sighing, he moved toward the door and stared out at the garage.
The side door suddenly opened, and Dad walked out, greasy rag in hand and a big smile on his face, his thick black hair streaked with silver. He waved at them. “Hey, Tony, Frankie, quit fighting! I gotta show you boys something.”
For a flash, Forrester was sixteen again, and he almost responded, but then he blinked and the yard was empty, the side door closed.
The image had been so real, so vivid that a visceral reaction went through Forrester, and he let out a small gasp. Sweat broke out on his scalp, making him shiver.
Did I just see Dad?
He shuddered, thinking maybe Ma hadn’t been off in her suggestion that Forrester should visit him. Maybe Dad had unfinished business with him too.
Collecting himself, he wiped a shaky hand over his face and glanced at Tony. His brother was staring at the garage, and Forrester almost asked if he’d seen Dad too, but he didn’t.
Maybe Dad came to tell him to make peace with Tony?
Or maybe I’m losing my mind.
He studied Tony, the hard, thick jaw, so much like Dad’s, but there was a sadness in his eyes too. Was it his misguided feeling that his family didn’t like Missy or the fear of losing Ma that caused it?
“Tony?”
“Yeah?”
“I never hated you. I was a moody asshole.”
“Are,” he corrected.
“Whatever. I’m sorry I changed, but think about it. You’re worried about Missy not being a part of the family, but how do you think I felt growing up with Dad?” He whispered the last word, fearing his ghost might hear.
“Scared,” Tony said seriously.
Forrester let out a bitter chuckle. “Yeah.”
“I never liked the backward stuff he said. Especially after I learned about you.”
“But you all said it,” he reminded him. “Queer, homo, fag. It wasn’t just Dad.”
“Nope,” Tony insisted. “I might’ve when we were younger, but never after I knew. Not once. Never.”
Forrester stared at his brother, surprised he’d never noticed. “You didn’t?”
“Nope. You can’t talk like that at work or you’ll get written up.”
“Oh, yeah, gotta be PC,” he said wryly.
“Yeah, but mostly I didn’t want to hurt my stupid brother’s feelings.”
“Oh,” he said, feeling stupid. “Well, thanks, I guess.”
“So can we move on?” Tony said after a moment. “Get over this gay thing already? No one really cares.”
“Dino laughed at me and told me liking dudes was”—he did air quotes—“messed-up.”
“What?”
Forrester swallowed the lump in his throat, then told him what Dino had said at Smitty’s. He left out the details of his own colorful outburst.
“The big jerk, what’s his problem?” Tony ground a fist into his palm. “Maybe I’ll have to give big brother a little come-to-Jesus talking to.”
He sniffed with amusement. “Don’t do that. Ma will just get upset.”
Tony looked at him for a long uncomfortable moment, then back out to the small lawn, where they’d played Power Rangers as kids, roasted marshmallows in a small fire pit, then fought for real as teens. As men, did they finally have some sort of truce? Maybe a do-over? Forrester couldn’t be sure, but it felt like they did.
“Ma’s probably thrilled you got a sugar daddy,” Tony said, surprising him.
“Kyle’s not a sugar daddy.”
Tony scoffed. “He’s not hurting. I ran a background check on him, and—”
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