Blessings From the Father

by Michelle Larks

  Mariah exhaled loudly. “You’re right, I’ll have to be patient. I will put in the time to see where the relationship and God leads us.”

  “That’s all I ask,” Carson responded, clearly relieved. “So how are things going with your grandmother?”

  “Pretty good. She tried to make a stand for independence about moving back to the Garden and I told her that I wasn’t having it. The only place she could move is to the coach house.”

  “How did she feel about that?” Carson chuckled.

  “I think she’s ready to stay here now that her secrets are out in the open.”

  “Good. She should enjoy the fruits of your labor. Are you nervous about the meeting with the planning committee?”

  “Nope. Not really. That meeting is one step closer to the transition home being a reality. Sonni and I are already on it. We’d already anticipated some of their questions. Sonni has put together a very compelling PowerPoint presentation. I meant to ask you, how do Ali and Ashanti feel about staying with you?”

  “I couldn’t tell them what had really gone down with Lola. So I simply told them that their mother is tired and needs a rest and that they’re going to hang out with me for a while. Ali was upset as I knew she would be. I feel like Lola was becoming too much of a negative influence on her anyway. Shanti is fine with the new living arrangement. So we’ll work through it.”

  “One of my church members is a psychologist. If you think they need to talk to someone let me know. Zora has a great reputation,” Mariah offered.

  “I will keep that in mind.” Carson looked up to see a computer technician at his door. “Say, I’ve got to run. My computer system is being installed today. I didn’t need to upgrade, but with the check from the robbery, I decided why not. It won’t hurt.”

  “Good idea. I’ll talk to you later. I’m going to look over my notes for the presentation, and read more journals. Talk at you later.”

  “If you need me to run any errands let me know. I’ll see you later,” Carson informed Mariah.

  The call was ended. Mariah checked on Rosemary and then she went to her bedroom. She sat on the chaise longue. She turned on the nightstand light and picked up a journal and read:

  After I got out of the service, I went to Chicago to pay my respects to Rosemary Green. I still couldn’t believe that Jojo hadn’t ever been found. It was like he’d disappeared off the face of the earth. I miss my friend. Rosemary was still grieving for her husband. I always knew she and Jojo shared a special love. All he talked about was Rosie, as he called her, you couldn’t shut him up. I envied him for finding that special woman. I had saved up my money from the service, Uncle Sam saw to our every need, so I have a nice little nest egg saved. When I met Rosemary, she was sad like I knew she would be. Rosemary is a spunky woman. I offered her part of my money, and tried to explain that’s what Jojo would have wanted, but she would have none of it.

  Cassie was a sullen young woman. It was obvious that she was still missing her Daddy. I tried to engage her in conversation, but her answers were always short, monotonic. Sometimes I think she resented me, because I am still alive and Jojo’s whereabouts are unknown. I think if she gives me time to get to know me, she might feel different, but maybe not.

  Mariah skimmed over entries regarding Harold’s employment and was drawn to the ones that mentioned her grandmother.

  I know Rosemary doesn’t make much money, so I leave little amounts of money at her house. I want to help her, but she still doesn’t want to take money from me. So I leave it on the bottom shelf of the cocktail table where she’ll find it. I go see her once a week, usually on the weekends. We talk about Jojo and Vietnam. It’s not a subject that I really want to talk about. When I think of ’Nam, I feel horrified. It was a terrible place to be. We killed people, even children, and that will haunt me the rest of my days.

  Another entry dated six months later read:

  I have come to care deeply for Rosemary. I love her but she still clings to the notion that Jojo will come home one day. I coaxed her into going to dinner with me. I had never seen her dressed in anything except work clothes, a dress or skirt and blouse. She dressed up, her thick hair was down, and she had on makeup. I was enthralled with her closeness, and the scent of her perfume. I knew she was feeling lonely. I hoped I wasn’t taking advantage of her since we ended up at a motel making love. Rosie felt so guilty afterward. I told her that I love her, and want to take care of her and Cassie. Rosie told me in no uncertain terms that that wasn’t going to happen. She still loved Jojo and she would wait for him as long as it took. She told me I was wasting my time with her and that I should find someone who was free to love me. I disagreed, but I will give her time to see things my way. When I took Rosie home, she told me she didn’t want to see me again. I told her I’d see her Friday and I plan to.

  Mariah shut the journal. Thoughts swirled through her head. She was shocked to read about that side of her grandmother. Rosemary was tightlipped about the past. She only shared good times about Joseph. Realistically, Mariah realized that her birth was a secret, one that would be hard for Rosemary to explain. Mariah had about five journals in her room and she skipped to the one predating her birth.

  I am beginning to make headway with Rosie. We kind of got careless after going to the movies. I brought her home, kissed her, and then there was a ruckus from the kitchen. Cassie began screaming hysterically. She ran over to me and began pounding me with her fists. Rosie pulled her off me, and held Cassie’s arms. She asked me to leave and never come back. I went back a week later. I sat in my car around the corner from Rosie’s house and waited for Cassie to leave for school. Well, I saw Cassie leave, but she didn’t go to school, she met a boy, they left, and she never got on the bus to go to school. I walked to Rosie’s house. She was quite upset when she opened the door and saw me standing there. I again tried to convince her to marry me. We had a good thing going on. Rosemary was adamant that she was going to wait for Jojo.

  We continued to meet each other secretly. Cassie was giving her the blues. She missed curfew, started skipping school, and Rosemary had lost what little control she had over her daughter. Then, I met Rosemary one Friday night and I could tell immediately that she was upset. After she got inside my car, she told me the words that would change my life. That she was pregnant with my child.

  Chapter Forty

  After Mariah read those words, her breathing became shallow. Her eyes teared. Mariah’s hands became clammy, and she couldn’t read another journal for two days. When she picked up the journal the next time, Mariah had to force herself to read.

  I am happy about becoming a father. Being an orphan with no family, knowing I would have a child is a dream come true. I just know Rosie will marry me after she calms down. I know she could have Jojo declared legally dead since enough time had elapsed. Instead I was in for a rude awakening. Rosemary again insisted that I leave and told me she never wanted to see me again. I went back for a solid month and she never opened the door.

  I am heartbroken and at odds. One of my army buddies, Walter Stinson, moved to Hammond, Indiana. He had used his G.I. loan to start a business and asked me if I wanted to work with him. I decided to move to Hammond. It wasn’t far from Chicago and especially from the Garden. I could check on Rosie from time to time. I sent her cash and keep hoping and praying she would have a change of heart. She didn’t. I went to see her around the time the baby should have been born. She let me inside the house, and told me coldly that she had a miscarriage. I didn’t believe her, and then I heard a baby cry from upstairs. I flew upstairs like a bat out of hell to Rosie’s bedroom. Nothing. Then I went to Cassie’s bedroom and saw a bassinet. By the time Rosie came upstairs. I asked her about the baby. She told me Cassie had gotten pregnant and the baby was Cassie’s. I know in my heart, Rosie is lying. I told her I understood how she felt about Jojo, but please don’t make me deny my child. I picked up the child, saw it was a girl, and fell in love for the second time in my life.


  Rosie went downstairs and waited for me to come back down. She told me that I couldn’t see her or the child ever again and to go on and live my life.

  I’m not too ashamed to say that I begged Rosie and even cried for her not to deny me my child. Her mind was made up and I couldn’t change it. All I could do was make sure my child was taken care of financially. I didn’t think I’d ever love again. Everybody I had ever loved was taken away from me, even my child.

  Mariah read the next entries; Harold talked about meeting his wife Dorothy two years after his breakup with her grandmother. How his business with Walter was booming. Harold was ready to settle down and raise a family, but alas that was not to be.

  Dottie and I have been married for five years and she hasn’t been able to have a baby. We went to the doctor and found out that she’s unable to bear children. I felt as low as I did the day Rosie told me to leave and not come back. I don’t love Dottie with the intensity that I loved Rosie. But, we have a good life. She is an excellent wife and I will stand by her, though she offered to give me a divorce. She knows how much I want children. I joined a church in Hammond, and after that I turned my life over to God and became saved. I’ve done well financially and I’ve vowed to help children, especially males. I feel like I can make a difference in the world.

  At times I think I’ll go crazy following Rosie’s wishes. I sneak to the Garden for glimpses of my daughter. What a fine young woman she’s grown into. I went to her eighth grade graduation. I sent Rosie an extra check to cover expenses. God, I wish I could tell her who I am, but I know I can’t. I will cherish and love her from afar.

  I paid for Mariah’s high school expenses and even paid for her and her friends to go on their class trip to Cancun. I would see her and two girls who appeared to be her best friends from time to time. I sent Rosie a hefty check for Mariah to attend college. I was disappointed that Mariah didn’t want to attend a four-year college. I had been putting money aside for that since the day she was born. But, it’s her choice as to schooling, not mine. I am so proud of my girl.

  Mariah’s heart rate increased when she read her father’s first entry about Carson.

  I met a young man at the Boys & Girls Club today named Carson Palmer. He’s a little misguided right now because his father has a drinking problem. Carson has a good head on his shoulders. He has a knack for the construction business. I’m going to encourage him to go to college and get his degree. When he finishes, I’ll help him finance his own business.

  Though she knew she shouldn’t, Mariah put down the current journal and picked up the last one. She quickly read the last few entries.

  My Dottie is gone, I am all alone. Carson comes by to check on me regularly. I have prostate cancer and I know my time on earth grows short. I have had a wonderful life; my only regret is that I didn’t meet my daughter. I plan to leave all my money to her. I have read in the newspapers about her accomplishments in the Garden. Rosie did a good job raising her. I don’t know how Rosie pulled it off, but apparently her plan that Cassie become Mariah’s mother worked. Mariah is my mother’s name. So I know Rosie didn’t forget me completely. I will go to meet my Maker soon, knowing I have been a blessed man. I have talked to Carson about Mariah. I hope those two meet one day. I would love to have had him for a son-in-law. I have told Carson if he ever meets my daughter, not to talk to her about my relationship with Rosie. I know it’s a long shot those two meeting. But, you never know what God has planned. I want my daughter to get to know me from my journals.

  I am beginning to feel weak; I know the end is not far off. I will see my Dottie again, and maybe my parents I never knew. I will still be able to keep an eye on my girl from heaven. I am ready to be with the King.

  The last entry read:

  Mariah, I loved you. I was never able to tell the world you were mine. You’ve had a special place in my heart since Rosemary told me she was pregnant. I am not upset with Rosie. I understand why she did what she did. Don’t hold it against her. She was trying to protect you. It was a different time when you were born. Take care of her as I would have. Love, your father, Harold Ellison.

  Mariah put down the journal. Tears spilled from her eyes. She cried for the man she’d never known. God had blessed her with a father and she just didn’t know it. Mariah was too aware that she had received many blessings from the fathers, her earthly and heavenly one.

  A few weeks later Mariah went into Rosemary’s room. Her grandmother was up watching a soap opera on the television. Mariah sat in a chair next to the bed. “Granny, I’ve read Harold’s story. It is truly heartbreaking and I only have one question for you. How did you get away with Cassie being pregnant and not you?” The young woman’s eyes shone with a bright intensity.

  Rosemary turned to her granddaughter and explained. “Cassie made it a little easy for me. Unknown to me she had already dropped out of high school. I was always thick and my pregnancy showed in my behind, not my midsection. So no one really knew I was pregnant, just that I had put on a little weight. I managed to talk Cassie into staying in the house, at least until I gave birth. When we went out she had a pillow stuffed down her pants.”

  Rosemary lay back against the pillows and closed her eyes, as if reliving her daughter’s birth date. “Alma is a nurse and at that time she worked in a doctor’s office and not at the hospital, where she works now. When I went into labor, she came over and helped me with the delivery. She cut the cord, cleaned you off, and placed you in my arms. Alma and Cassie took care of me.

  “To convince Cassie to say you were her baby and not mine, I explained how I couldn’t bring shame upon the family and most of all, upon her father. We never stopped hoping that one day Joseph would return home,” Rosemary said sadly, “but he didn’t.

  “The doctor Alma worked for came to my house and helped us do the birth certificate. We took it downtown to the Department of Vital Records. That’s what happened.” Rosemary opened her eyes.

  “Did you ever love my father?” Mariah couldn’t help but ask. She sat on the edge of her seat.

  “I loved Harold in my own way. He was not the love of my life, Joseph was,” Rosemary proclaimed.

  “If Granddaddy had been declared dead and not MIA, do you think you would have married Harold?”

  “Maybe,” Rosemary allowed. “I knew he was a good man and that Harold was headed places much like you.” Rosemary smiled. “I loved him. But I couldn’t risk hurting Joseph, if by a miracle he came home.”

  “Fair enough,” Mariah said. “That’s all I wanted to know. Thank you, Granny. I haven’t wrapped my head completely around you the fact that you’re my mother yet. I love you, I always will. I wish things had turned out differently and I’d grown up with my father.”

  “I wish I had allowed that to happen especially since Harold didn’t have children except you. I think he forgave me. I just hope you will.” Rosemary’s eyes filled with tears. She reached for Mariah.

  Mariah rose from her chair and sat on the bed next to Rosemary. The two women hugged each other, and stayed that way for a long time, each mourning the loss of two special men.

  Epilogue

  The opening of the transitional house was scheduled to open on June 19, 2012. A little less than two years after Mariah talked to Attorney Cook about her inheritance. Mariah and Sonyell had worked nonstop over the past few days to ensure the event would go smoothly. Hammond dignitaries would be on hand for the event. It was rumored the governor of Indiana would attend.

  The sun was shining, peeping from the thick, downy clouds, a hint that the day would be a triumph.

  Mariah stood in her bedroom in front of her dresser. She put a pair of earrings in her ears. She stood back and admired her red power suit with a white silk blouse. She was dressed for success. Mariah put perfume on her wrist and patted her hair one final time. She closed her eyes in prayer. “Father, thank you for the many blessings you have bestowed upon me. The journey to today wasn’t an easy one. I had a few setbacks.
But, with your help I’ve weathered the storm. Thank you for keeping my mother safe. Her health has improved, as well as my and Cassie’s relationship. Thank you for my friends who have been there with me every step of the way. Most of all, thank for sending me a good man. Carson was right, I just had to stand on faith and that included my relationship with him. Father, you have never failed me. Bless the house we are opening today, and the people who are going to occupy it. Father, I love and praise you.” Mariah raised her arms upward.

  A few minutes later Mariah went to fetch Rosemary and Cassie from the coach house. The older woman looked younger and quite attractive. Her health was on the upswing and with the releasing of her secrets, Rosemary looked years younger.

  Cassie had completed her treatment after a few relapses; so far she’d been clean for six months. She and Rosemary received counseling with Zora and their relationship had improved. Cassie had put on a few pounds, Raquel had hooked up her hair, and she bore little resemblance to the drug addict she’d been a year ago. Cassie wore a black dress, and looked quite presentable.

  After the women exited the house, Mariah locked the door and put her keys inside her purse, when they heard the shrill beep, beep of a horn. Carson was pulling his Cadillac into Mariah’s driveway. He and his daughters hurriedly exited the vehicle.

  Ashanti ran to Mariah and hugged her waist. “Miss Mari, this is so exciting. You are a celebrity,” the young girl gushed. She took Mariah’s hand.