Hartstrings: A Jaded Regret Novel (Jaded Regret Series Book 3)

by L. L. Collins

  My gaze lowered to her cleavage, ample and firm. I licked my lips and wiggled my eyebrows at her, my trademark smirk in full effect. “Oh, yes. I always remember the red ones.”

  She giggled. “I’m Aster. I can’t wait to show you a good time tonight.” She trailed her finger down my chest. I forced myself to smile because that was who I was. Except tonight, I couldn’t do it.

  My sex drive was zero.

  My worrying drive was at a hundred miles an hour.

  But I knew the game I had to play. Ever since I’d gotten back from seeing Mackenzie, my game had been off. Even though it had only been a few days, and she’d sent me texts letting me know she was okay and that Andrew was very apologetic, I still couldn’t shake the impending doom.

  Bex had watched me during rehearsals, and Natalie had asked me too many questions while on the bus. Questions I had no intention of answering. I had to show them I was the same prick they were used to.

  I slid my hand up her short skirt to her inner thigh, watching as her pupils dilated. On any regular day, my dick would be at attention and ready to slide up inside this skirt. He wasn’t today.

  “Yesssss.” Her eyelids fluttered closed as I purposely teased her with my fingertips. I wasn’t quite there yet, but with her reaction, you would’ve thought I was.

  The backstage party buzzed around us, people getting drinks and chatting. There were only a few groupies back here now, the rest having left an hour ago after getting their signatures and pictures.

  I wished for the silence of my bunk in the tour bus for the first time, well, ever. But tonight we planned to stay in a hotel, and I somehow had to make it seem like I took Aster to my room without really taking her to my room.

  An idea came to me. Get drunk. Not buzzed, but shit faced I-couldn’t-get-it-up-if-I-tried drunk. No. Get Aster drunk. Too drunk to remember what we did. Or didn’t do. Hell, I’d let her sleep in my bed. I’d tell her we fucked.

  Good plan.

  My purpose now solidified, I lifted my face to hers. She was beautiful, but she didn’t do anything for my libido. He was asleep. Hibernating.

  Her lips were painted ruby red, and she wore too much eye makeup. She pressed her lips to mine, and I allowed it. I hoped for the touch of her tongue to erase the racing thoughts in my head. I had to hand it to her. The woman could kiss. I tilted my head and pulled her body closer. She shifted as if subconsciously telling me to touch her. I knew what she wanted. It was what Tanner Hart was famous for doing. Public displays of affection. Or PDF, as they called it. Public Displays of Fucking. I wasn’t shy. I had needs and wants, and I acted on them. If they were willing, hell, I was willing, too.

  I slid my hand back up her skirt and hit the edge of her lacy panties. I was surprised she was wearing any, actually, but I would bet money on them matching the bra she threw at me while I’d been on stage. Tonight had been a record number: thirty-eight bras. I never kept them. I wondered absently as my fingertips touched warm heat what happened to the hundreds, if not thousands of bras that girls threw at me over the years.

  Aster moaned into my mouth, sucking my tongue and biting the tip gently. She wriggled in my lap, and I knew she wanted me to move her underwear and put my fingers inside her, but I couldn’t do it. When I didn’t oblige, she shifted until she straddled me on the chair. I cracked open an eye, wondering who might be watching us.

  That was when I saw Natalie, a hurt expression shadowing her face. She didn’t see me watching her, but she turned away before too long with a shake of her head.

  I started withdrawing even as Aster pressed her heat directly over my dick, rubbing herself over me. In the mood or not, he couldn’t resist being humped like that. He began to stir, interested in where this might go.

  But I wasn’t.

  “Aster.” I used my best seductive voice, and it worked. She blinked her large eyes open and smiled. Her lips glistened from our kisses, and her top had dipped farther with her movements. I saw one rose-colored nipple screaming for my mouth before I forced my gaze up to her face. “Let’s go back to my room. You know where we are staying?”

  The groupies always knew. They made it a point to stalk us, and somehow we were always found out. It infuriated Natalie, but that had made for some epic nights for me. I thought back to the multiple girls I’d had waiting for me before, all willing to give me a good time—together.

  She nodded, biting her lip. “I can’t believe it.”

  “Believe what, sweetheart?” I laid it on thick, and I knew it.

  “That you invited me to your room. I’ve heard how good you are, Tanner. I never thought I’d get the chance to…”

  Regret swirled in my belly, twisting and churning until I felt like I’d be sick. Here I was with an endless line of women who waited to have me fuck them, and Mackenzie was…well, Mackenzie hoped not to get hit by the man who said he loved her.

  I put my lips next to her ear. “I’m going to make you come so hard you won’t remember your name.” You won’t remember it because it isn’t going to happen.

  She stood abruptly and pulled me to my feet. “Let’s go. Now.” I followed her out of the room, AJ trailing behind me as he realized we were moving. I glanced back as we walked through the doorway and saw Natalie watching me again.

  I knew what she wanted.

  But I wasn’t good for her.

  * * *

  I filled the shot glass up to the brim and slid it across the table at Aster. Her eyes were wide and glassy. She was toast. I’d been drinking too, but once she went past the point of no return, I just pretended. She no longer noticed that I wasn’t drinking the same amount as her.

  We were playing a game, and the only piece of clothing on between the two of us now were my boxer briefs. I was winning this game in more than one way.

  Aster’s foot rubbed my bare leg. I scanned her rockin’ body. From her full breasts, her small, toned waist, and legs that I could imagine wrapping around my head, she was my type and then some.

  Yet my dick stayed deflated, just waiting for the second I could take her to my bed, and she’d pass out.

  As we’d taken off our clothes, I’d strewn them around the room to make it appear that we’d had a night of passion, unable to stop ourselves from stripping each other’s clothes off as fast as possible.

  “You need to lose those briefs.” She stood next to me, swaying slightly. She hiccupped and then giggled, reaching out and holding onto my bicep. “I want to take you in my mouth.”

  I glanced over at the empty shot glass. I stood, wrapping my arms around her curves. She pressed her body against mine, blinking slowly up at me. I lifted her, and she squealed, wrapping her legs around my waist as I carried her to the bed. She kissed up and down my neck, almost making me forget that I wasn’t going to sleep with her.

  I caged myself over her as she ran her hands up and down my body. Aster reached into my boxer briefs and used her small hand to effectively bring him to life. Her eyes rolled back in her head as she pumped me. I couldn’t help but push into her hand.

  “Hell yeah.” Aster’s voice slurred. It wouldn’t be long now, I assumed. She could hold her liquor better than I’d thought. I dipped my head and kissed along her neck and chest, taking that rose-colored nipple into my mouth. I was a man, after all. It was right there in front of me.

  She writhed under my touch. I took my time, feeling as her body began relaxing. I kissed her slowly, my lips moving at a snail’s pace as I tried to relax her.

  “Turn over.” She blinked at my command. It took her several seconds to focus on my face. I repeated my command and she began to turn, giggling as it took her longer than it should.

  I began massaging her muscles, moving my way down her body as she groaned. Aster probably thought I’d lift her up and pound her from behind. Normally, yes. This time, I had to bide my time. I ran my fingers down her ass and barely grazed her sensitive flesh, bare for me.

  “Do me, Tanner.” Her voice was muffled, pressed into th
e bed.

  I didn’t answer, continuing to caress and massage her lithe body. I glanced down at myself, the tent in my boxer briefs disappointing me. Mackenzie. What was she doing right now? Was Andrew home? Did he love her at all? Had he ever?

  That was all it took and my drive deflated, leaving me hoping Aster would pass out, and I could crash and go to sleep myself. As if on cue, her body relaxed under my touch. Her eyes fluttered closed, and her breathing evened out. I stilled, waiting to see if she would wake back up again. When almost a minute passed and she hadn’t moved, I carefully crawled off her and headed for the bathroom.

  I pulled a T-shirt and a pair of basketball shorts on before I caught my reflection in the mirror. I seemed…tired. Stressed. Not the usual playboy I was.

  I grabbed my phone, realizing I hadn’t heard from Mackenzie since earlier today.

  How are things?

  There was so much more I wanted to say, but I left it with that. I knew it was late again, too late to be contacting her. What if he was asleep next to her and he picked up her phone instead? She’d told me that she put my contact in her phone as Tania, just in case Andrew checked her phone. “Tania” would be a client if he ever looked.

  Of course, he would. I was sure she had no privacy whatsoever. I knew she deleted our messages the second she sent them, but still.

  I checked my phone no less than a hundred times in a half hour period, but there was no response. She was probably asleep.

  Hopefully.

  Visions of her bleeding head, the bruises on her body, and her possible broken arm had my pulse racing out of control again.

  When an hour went by, I knew she wouldn’t answer tonight. Aster was still passed out in the same spot, and I was glad. I crept onto the other side of the bed, careful not to be too close to her. When we woke up in the morning, the other part of my tale would begin.

  * * *

  I moaned, turning my head back and forth as heat enveloped me. I pushed upward, the warmth continuing to make me harder, longer, and ready to blow. I didn’t know where it came from, but it was the best head I’d had in a long time. This was the most realistic wet dream I’d had since I was a teenager.

  I opened my eyes, seeing a figure knelt over me with my elongated dick between her lips. I felt her teeth graze me slightly, just enough to send a stream of pre-cum out of my tip. She moaned and sucked me harder. I felt my dick hit the back of her throat while her hand pumped my base.

  “Motherfucker.” My vision cleared as I woke up fully, and that’s when I realized what was going on. Aster had my very willing dick inside her mouth.

  Fuck.

  I wanted to blow in her mouth and then turn her over and fuck her in the ass.

  I’d made it so far without doing her, but my sex drive was back with a vengeance.

  Aster popped me out of her mouth just as I was about to shoot a load down her throat and grinned at me. Her mouth was slick with saliva, and my hips shifted, wanting her to finish. I reached down and began stroking myself, needing a release.

  “Guess you liked that wake-up call, huh, baby?” She was naked, her pert breasts bouncing as she sat back on her heels. “Do you want me to swallow?”

  She watched as I pumped my dick, using the saliva from her mouth to keep the friction going. She removed her hand from my dick and climbed on top of me, putting her pussy in my face.

  Fuck. Now, what the hell would I do? I didn’t want to do this with her, remember?

  She took me back in her mouth, and my eyes rolled in my head. Before I could stop myself, I slid two fingers into her wet heat. Aster groaned on my dick and sucked harder. It wouldn’t be long before I gave her what she wanted down her throat.

  She wriggled, and I added another finger, using my other hand to travel her toned ass. Just then, I heard my phone ringing from the nightstand. The sound of Aster’s moans on my dick and my fingers moving in her wetness almost made me ignore it.

  Until I realized it could be Mackenzie.

  What if she needed me?

  I withdrew my fingers from her and shifted her off me. Her mouth popped as she released me, a grunt of disapproval falling from her mouth as I stood up to get my phone. I reached for it, and it slid onto the floor.

  “Shit.” I fumbled for it, seeing Aster on her knees on the bed, watching me. My dick stood out from my body, reaching for Aster, screaming for release. Her rosy nipples were pebbled, and she had reached her hand down and began to masturbate, her fingers pumping in and out of her wet folds where my fingers had been.

  I was momentarily distracted, but then the phone rang again. I saw Mac’s name on the screen.

  She was calling me.

  “You have to go.” I walked to the bathroom. “I have to take this. When I get out, I need you to be gone.”

  Aster continued pumping her fingers in and out of her wetness. “Take care of your business. I’ll be right here, waiting for you.”

  I clicked accept on the call. “Hey, hang on one second, okay?”

  “Hi, Tania.” Mac’s voice coming through the line made my desire to fuck Aster completely deflate. “I was calling to give you an update.”

  Tania. That meant Asshole was in the vicinity.

  “Yes, Mac. Thank you for the call. Can you hold on for one second?” I muted the call and turned back to Aster, whose eyes fluttered closed as she moaned and gave herself a release.

  “Fuck me, Tanner. Fuck me hard.”

  I picked up her clothes off the floor. “I have to go, Aster. Sorry. You were…amazing last night. The way you…”

  Her eyes widened as she regarded my semi. I knew she didn’t remember, and she was trying to decide what to do with that information.

  “Uh, yeah. You were too. Amazing. The things you can do with that dick…yummy. I’d like to do it again right now.”

  “Sorry, sweetheart.” I slid a pair of shorts over my erection and crossed my bare arms. “We have to hit the road. Thanks for the wake-up call. That’s better than any alarm clock I’ve ever had.”

  She pouted. “I wanted to swallow. Your dick is…”

  Sometimes these women astounded me. I wondered if Aster’s “memory” of our time together would be on a social media site within an hour.

  I opened the door, choosing not to respond to her come-on. I needed to talk to Mac. “See you soon. Thanks for the great night.” The second I shut the door, I unmuted the phone. “Mac? Sorry.”

  “Hi. Yes. I’m here. Everything okay?”

  “I could ask you the same thing. Is he around?”

  “Yep.” Mac paused. “You busy, or do you have time to go over things?”

  Go over things? Like her leaving Andrew? “I’m not busy. I was finishing…a meeting.” Shame washed over me, and I vowed that the next city we went to I wouldn’t take a groupie back to my room. Fuck my reputation. Let people speculate that I had turned a new leaf, or I had erectile dysfunction or something.

  “I haven’t found out anything new.” Mac’s voice was professional and courteous like she was talking to a client. I liked it. This was a fun game. So her not finding out anything new meant she hadn’t made any progress on leaving him, or what?

  “Has he hurt you?”

  “No. Things have been rather unexciting on that front.”

  I sighed. “Mac, I spend my whole day and night worried about you. How much longer will it be before you make him mad again? How’s your arm?”

  She was silent for long enough that I had to check my phone to make sure we were still connected. “Everything is on track.”

  I pulled on my hair with one hand, frustration coursing through my veins as I paced my hotel room. I wanted her to lose the man so she could give me straight answers.

  “Anyway, I wanted to return your call. I’ll be in touch when I have made some progress on your case, okay? I have some solid leads, so it shouldn’t be too much longer.”

  “Mac, please. I need more from you. Please call me when he goes to work or something, or
when you’re at work. I won’t be back for weeks, and I need to know you’re okay.”

  “It was great talking to you, too, Tania. I’ll talk to you soon.”

  “Wait…” But I heard the distinct click and then my phone reset back to the home screen.

  I wanted to hit something. Time to find the hotel gym. I typed a text to AJ to meet me outside my room in five minutes.

  Chapter Five

  Tanner

  I flopped back on my bunk and pulled the small curtain closed. It was a miserable form of privacy, but it was better than nothing. We were on our way to another city, farther and farther away from home. I loved traveling. Usually. I lived for seeing new places, meeting new people, and doing what I loved.

  But my head was all messed up.

  True to my assumption, Aster had blown up social media over the last week talking about our “encounter.” When Beau had stumbled across a post, he nearly choked from laughter as she told our night in detail. What he didn’t know, though, was it was false. Other than her tale of sucking me off (which she didn’t get to complete, but she did suck me, of course), the rest of it was made up.

  But that was okay with me because it kept people talking and I’d successfully kept women out of my bed for a week now. After Aster, I didn’t have the energy to keep up the charade of pretending to sleep with women. I flirted and then left. Alone. It was better that way. I’d rather spend my time talking to Mackenzie, anyway. Thinking about her being okay consumed my every moment. Even playing hadn’t been up to par. Bex had noticed too and had called me out on my shit a few times already. She knew something was up but wouldn’t interfere. I loved that about my band. They were all fucked up in one way or another and while we were all family, we didn’t pry. If you didn’t want to talk about it, we didn’t.

  Mackenzie had called or texted me every day. Two days after I’d left Florida, she’d asked if we could talk like friends. She didn’t want me to ask her if she was hurt or what was happening with Andrew. She wanted a friend.