The Winter of Regrets

by Needa Warrant

  “What’s up, Jerz? You don’t look too happy. Got something ya wanna share?” Nailz wondered why Jersey had a long face on. “We can sit on a log and you can tell me if I can help.”

  They moved over to a log Nailz had laid there just for that purpose. Jersey lit up a joint and passed it to Nailz, who took a long hit off of it before exhaling.

  “I guess what Jo doesn’t know won’t get you in trouble, huh?” Jersey grinned wider.

  Nailz frowned, eyebrows almost touching. “I ain’t pussy-whipped, bro. She’s having some issues, but I’m still in my house. I do what I want, and if I wanna smoke a joint, I do—just not where she can see it. I don’t want to give her anything to bitch about. Now what’s up with you? Everything okay with the club?”

  “Club’s fine. Not quite the same without you, but nothing much is going on. Thrash is still pissed. Elena won’t talk to him. You knew Hunter and Elena pretty well, didn’t you?” He glanced at Nailz questioningly.

  “Yeah, I did. Elena was so young and, damn, she stayed true to Hunter until he tossed her. I get why he did—not wanting her to have to care for a dying man while she was pregnant. Elena and I were always friends until I hit her. I still can’t believe I did that. That’s gonna haunt me forever.” He passed the joint to Jersey, his face turning red.

  Jersey took a hit, held it and let it out. “I want to buy this horse, Moon Glow. Joy owns some of it, but Elena wants to sell it to improve the farm. I could easily give them money for that, but neither will take it. I want to buy Elena’s share and give it to my Joyful. Hell, maybe it would work better than an engagement ring. I don’t know how to ask Elena about it as she has a few interested buyers. She’s mad at the club, but she talks to me. How would I go about talking her into keeping the horse? Joy says she’s hell-bent on selling it.” Jersey pulled some bark off the log.

  “Whoa, a biker buying his ol’ lady a racehorse? I take it that’s what this Moon Glow is. You got the bucks for that?” Nailz was impressed.

  “Yeah, I do. Joy says the stud fees will be good and she believes in the horse. I hate to see her upset. Face it, we don’t need those two fighting. There’s too much of that going around now, isn’t there? I heard Kima refuses to speak to Jo and none of the other chicks will, either.”

  Nailz dug his boot into the dirt as he spoke. “Well, Jo did some mean things to her. When Kima came home to the Lodge after she had the accident with V and lost the baby, Jo never visited her. I should have gone myself. Then all the shit with Rabid happened. Kima just took it all in and never let on that she was hurt. They were friends for so long that I didn’t think it mattered, and she never said a word about the Regan’s adopting Jo. I thought everything was good, but maybe nobody asked Kima how she felt, I dunno.” He rolled his neck, getting the kinks out of it. “Jo’s treated Kima pretty shitty lately, jealous over the aunt not giving her anything.”

  “That’s fucked up, man. I tried to warn Kima that night but there was little I could do. I hate thinking about how Veiko looked the night I told him Rabid had Kima. I figured everyone was past all of that. Joy doesn’t much care for Jo, but my Joyful doesn’t have a use for anyone who’s scared of horses. Don’t know if they’ll ever work it out. Now, how do I deal with Elena?” Jersey was totally serious about buying this horse.

  Nailz thought about it. “I don’t know why you are even asking me. Go over and just tell her Joy wants to keep the horse and that you wanna buy it. Mention the stud fees. If Elena believes in the horse, why wouldn’t she sell the horse to you?”

  Jersey snorted. “I think she hates bikers right now. She already had lunch with one buyer and didn’t think he’d give the horse a good home. I don’t want the horse. I want Joy to own it, or even buy more shares. All I want is Joyful back to her happy self and not moping.”

  They both stared off into space for a few minutes before Jersey rose up off the log. “Guess it’s worth a try. All she can do is tell me no. Thrash been around yet? I figure he’s coming, Nailz, and he can since you’re out right now.”

  “Not yet,” said Nailz. “I hope he doesn’t. Shit like this has happened before. I feel awful for hitting Elena. I’d never hurt her and she knows that. Thrash should think about that too. It won’t get her to be with him. She needs time to heal from Hunter’s death and not have him up her ass all the time. Just so you know, Jerz, if he comes at me, I am hitting back.” Nailz was serious and his voice was hard.

  “Didn’t expect ya not to defend yourself. They’re taking bets on who wins. Watch your back, Nailz.” With those parting words of advice, Jersey got up and left.

  Nailz sat on the log and wondered when Thrash would make his move. He, too, was well aware it was coming. It would be here, not at his house, and it would be just the two of them. As he stood up, he adjusted the thick chain belt he was wearing with the quick release clip. He wasn’t going down without some swings of that chain. His ribs still hurt like hell.

  Jersey pulled up to Elena’s house and saw her talking to a buyer down by Moon Glow’s paddock. He watched her shake her head no and the man walking dejectedly back to his car. Elena leaned over the fence and stroked the horse’s velvety nose.

  She heard Jersey quietly come up beside her. He was as good-looking as ever—hair a bit longer in the braid Joy loved and his beard, scruffy. He was still a charming and handsome biker.

  “Another one bite the dust?” he inquired.

  “I didn’t like the man,” she answered with a smile. “The one before him, he brought a rider, and I refused to let him use a whip on Moon. What a fucking asshole. Argued with me, too! I wish there was some way to keep him. Joy is all mopey and bitchy. We need repairs and I don’t see any other way.” She fished a sugar cube out of her pocket and fed it to the horse.

  Jersey finally saw an opening. “I’ve told you I’d help, but since you both say no, why don’t you sell me some shares and I’ll give them to Joy?”

  Elena turned and looked at him. “You want to buy this horse for her?”

  Jersey reached over and petted the horse. “Better than giving her a ring, don’t you think? I don’t mean I want to get married right away, but someday—”

  “She would want the ring,” insisted Elena. She thought long and hard about it. “I will do this, though. I’ll enter into a three-way partnership. That way, it’ll show Joy you’re here for the long term. How does that sound? We can do it through a lawyer. Joy should be happy with that and we’ll benefit from this horse. She’s right; this horse is going places. At Christmas, if I were you, I’d give her a ring. I’ve seen her looking in Sea Jewels’ windows.”

  Jerz felt like Elena had handed him the moon. However, he needed to talk to her a bit more.

  “I saw Nailz today. He’s off the will and feels like shit for hitting you.” He wondered if she’d get angry with him for bringing up Nailz’ name.

  Elena turned to look at him. “I know he didn’t mean to hit me. I stopped talking to Thrash, because he said he was going to get Nailz back for hitting me. I asked him to let it go and he just won’t.” She sighed. “I’ve been hit before—and a lot worse. I’ve been kicked in the face by a horse and that hurt like hell. I’m not mad at Nailz.” She smirked. “Jo, however, is another story. Tell Nailz he can stop by, just leave Jo home. I’ve found a few things of Hunter’s I want to see if he wants. I’m not happy with the club, but Nailz … I’ve known him a long time. Shit happens.”

  “Shit happens,” he agreed.

  She rubbed her cheek, studying his face. She could feel the excitement oozing out of him. “You can tell Joy the news,” she finally said. “I noticed she goes up to your house whenever a buyer comes around.”

  She laughed quietly as Jersey headed for his truck and raced home.

  Looking at Moon Glow, she fetched another sugar cube out of her pocket and let him lick it right off the palm of her hand. “It took him long enough, didn’t it, Moon? I was getting worried you were going to really get sold.” With a quick pat on
his nose, she was off to her house. Now, all she had to do was try to think of how she could stop Thrash from hitting Nailz and making everything worse. She was still mad at Bound for Hell MC, but she knew better than to jump in a drunk biker’s face. It happened in the heat of the moment and now it was a fucking mess.

  Jersey flew into the house yelling Joy’s name. She slowly came out of the bedroom. It was clear that she’d been crying.

  “Did she sell Moon this time?” she asked with a sniffle.

  “Yup, she did,” he said proudly, “but I think you’ll be pleased with the owners. How about we all own shares of Moon Glow? She offered me that when I tried to buy him for you.”

  Joy’s face brightened up. “You … You tried to buy Moon Glow for me? Jersey! I can’t believe you’d do that for me!” She couldn’t wipe the smile off her face. “How’d we end up in a partnership?”

  “To prove to you both that I’m here for the long term,” he answered. “I mean it, blondie. I’m in love with you, and you’re never getting away from me.” He wiggled his eyebrows at her as she pulled him into the bedroom.

  Joy reached up and stroked his face. “I love you so much, Jersey. Are you sure you want to get involved with me? I’m not going to change much, but I won’t ask you to change either.”

  “Blondie, do me a favor and strip those clothes off. I want you to ride me like you do when you’re riding English. What do you call that thing where your cute ass goes up and down?”

  His fingers were at his belt buckle. The sound of it hitting the floor along with their heavy breathing brought the two of them out of the trance they were in. Both began flinging their clothes off. Joy beat Jersey and watched as he tugged his boots off. He was hopping around with the pants around his boots.

  Joy giggled. “Posting? I can ride you like that. Lay on the bed. I’m already wet just thinking about your cock.”

  Finally, a naked Jersey was flat on the bed, his thick large cock standing upright. He watched with hooded eyes as the woman he loved placed her knees on either side on him. She held his cock in her hand and adjusted her body so it would go directly inside of her. As his cock entered her wet cunt, she sat down and engulfed it until she had it all inside of her. She wiggled a bit and began to ride him as he had asked. Up and down she went, riding him hard. Their eyes stayed on each other until she began to whimper and he started to thrust back. Eyes closed, her back arched and she tightened against his cock. He held her hips down as he sprayed inside of her. She collapsed on top of him, their sweaty bodies slippery against each other. Content to stay in bed, she rolled off of him and snuggled under his arm.

  “Jerz, I was thinking maybe a baby would be nice. I don’t want to be too old when I have my first. If I could get pregnant, say, in June or July, I could ride a few months after the baby was born. I don’t want to suffer being pregnant all summer.”

  Jersey felt his heart race. A baby was what he had wanted since they had gotten together. Elena was right to tell him to get Joyful a ring.

  “Blondie, you don’t have to have a baby because you know I want a son. I love you for you, no pressures.” He wasn’t sure what to say to her.

  “I know you want sons, but we get what we get. I do want to have a family with you. We belong together after all the crimes we’ve committed. I took too long to realize I was in love with you. I should’ve told you sooner. Thank you for all you do for Elena and I. I’ve got the best ol’ man in Bound for Hell, too.” Her voice was strong and she propped herself to look into his eyes. “We’re going to have a wonderful life, aren’t we?”

  “As wonderful as I can make it, blondie, but I’m going to have to work more for my father. I don’t want go to jail, so I’m trying to find ways to get the club more into legal businesses. When I was talking to Elena, she said Nailz could drop over. You’re alright with that?” Jersey hoped he wasn’t going to blow this special time with his Joyful.

  “Elena knew better than to get in his face. Nailz was out-of-his-mind drunk. As soon as I knew Elena and Kima weren’t angry at him, I wasn’t either. I guess you’ll be taking me home to meet your family?”

  “Let’s get through Jack’s wedding first,” he decided with a smile. “My family will adore you. Don’t worry. Now get your ass up and get me some food. How do you expect a repeat performance if you don’t feed me?” he teased her.

  “You want to eat, get your ass up, Charmer, and help me!” she teased right back. “I guess you can start improving this place. If we plan to start a life together, you can change it to suit you—just no barn improvements without Elena and my approval.” She narrowed her eyes at him as he laughed. Tossing a satin robe over her naked body, she strode gracefully out of the bedroom.

  Jersey pulled on a pair of camouflage sweat pants and thought to himself how much better life was getting for him. Some of his brothers might regret the choices they made, but he sure as hell didn’t.

  Kima stood in her kitchen, a cup of herbal tea on the counter. She scowled as she held the phone to her ear. Her mother was trying to guilt her into talking to Jo and she was having none of it. Just as she was about to hang up on her, Veiko grabbed the phone from her hand.

  “Jean, John told you not to push Kima. You’re not being fair to her. We know you’re worried about Jo, but you have other daughters too. Shelly is upset as much as Kima is. Why don’t you give her a call instead of wrecking Kima’s day? I don’t know why you call each morning, but I’ll be mentioning it to John later today. No more calls, got me?”

  Kima shook her head tiredly as he hung up the phone. “I’m so tired of this,” she said, then sipped her tea.

  “Babe, she doesn’t understand what she’s doing to you. All she sees is Jo being upset, tired, and pregnant. I’ll talk to your dad later; he’ll handle her. Nailz says, with Katri helping her, Jo seems better. Maybe she really was that tired after Tears left. She was doing a lot of work, and—”

  As soon as he uttered those words, the cup of tea went flying by his head. He heard the thud as the cup hit the wall, then the shattering as it landed on the kitchen floor. Kima glared at him and stormed out the back door, slamming it as hard as she could. Watching her walk toward the barn, he cursed himself for saying a word. He grabbed the broom and dustpan and swept the mess up.

  His day was going to start late because he refused to fight with Kima. As he dumped the broken china into the outside garbage, he saw his wife on her horse Sugar jumping fences. His heart beat rapidly thinking of the day he witnessed her fall off of Cool Chrome. That was the day he felt remorse for spooking the horse she was training, causing her to fall and incur head injuries. He hated seeing her be reckless on a horse. He never revealed that to her because she didn’t tell him how to run his life.

  Sugar reared suddenly, stopping at the fence closest to Jo and Nailz’ side of the property. He dropped the dustpan and walked over to see what was going on.

  He found Jo by the fence screaming at Kima. His wife slid off her horse. This was not good, but he’d figured it was bound to happen sooner or later. He’d jump in if it got too nasty. Kima went storming over to the fence. He moved closer, but stayed out of sight.

  “Get the fuck off my property line,” barked Kima. “I don’t need you screaming like a banshee at my horse. What do you want?”

  Jo stood there, hands on her hips with her belly poking out. “How dare you upset our mother, Kima? You have to get Veiko involved? You’re so childish.”

  That wasn’t the smartest thing Jo could have said.

  “What the fuck did you just say?” Kima looked ready to slap her. “Our mother? She’s my mother. She gave birth to me! You’re just some pitiful nobody that got lucky my parents knew you all your life! What have you ever done to earn the right to be a Regan? Not a damn thing.”

  “That’s not true!” Jo snorted back.

  Kima pushed her blonde hair out of her eyes and grinned snidely at Jo. “You’re a leech, Jo. You clung to me because I had a car. When I needed a frie
nd, you were too busy fucking Nailz and using my car while I was in the hospital, since your parents wouldn’t allow you to use theirs when they found out what a liar you were. I never, ever lied about Veiko. I was never ashamed of my ol’ man like you were of Nailz! You never even came to see me, you fucking ungrateful selfish bitch.”

  Kima was letting Jo have it, no holds barred. She watched Jo’s expression change. Then, she continued letting her true feelings out.

  “The truth hurts, doesn’t it? You didn’t care that I lost a baby. In fact, you wouldn’t even have Nailz if I didn’t invite you to that party. Are you going to cry now and call my mother and tattle on me? You always were such a tattletale, even back in school.”

  “Your parents adopted me because I’m the daughter they always wanted,” Jo screeched back, “not you. You embarrass our family. What is it Dad called you? A wiggler? Yeah, you danced half-naked for money … Oh, that’s something to be real proud of,” she said sarcastically. “After this baby’s a few months old, I’ll be going to nursing school. I’ll be someone. What’ll you be doing, huh? Mucking horse shit?”

  Kima had it. Without a second of hesitation, she bent down and grabbed a handful of horse shit by her feet, then flung it at Jo, hitting her square in the face.

  “You always were a jealous bitch, Jo!” Kima cried as Jo screamed curses and frantically wiped her face. “You forget that dancers supported your lazy ass. You, who wouldn’t go on birth control. Maybe your family was wise to disown you. I seriously doubt you’d have made it into nursing school, either.”

  “Fuck you!” screamed Jo, unsuccessfully trying to clear off her face and only making a worse mess of it.

  “I got better grades than you ever did and I didn’t have to study,” Kima went on furiously. “You’re just a pain in the ass to everyone. Had my parents asked Shelly or me how we felt about you being our sister, maybe we would have said hell no. My parents felt sorry for you because you were always second to me in everything!”