How Gods Bleed

by Shane Porteous

  Chapter 19

  When Imbaka feel asleep Cada Varl was suppose to stand guard, but no matter what he tried his eyes were drawn back to Gokkus, the man who had been shattered by reality. The man in black was oblivious to the world around him staring into the flames of the fire as memories both old and new played in his mind. Long into the night he simply sat there staring and doing nothing else. Even when the flames stopped burning and he was left in near darkness Gokkus did not move from the spot. Eventually the man dressed in black did fall asleep, but at best it was only an hour before the sun rose upon the world once more. Chances were the little sleep he had would have been an awful slumber filled with terrible visions.

  He stood before the grave he had buried his wife in still saying nothing. Imbaka had woken up and eaten a silent breakfast before the man dressed in black walked away from the grave and approached Cada Varl and Imbaka. The Immortal bowed his head, wanting to show acknowledgement and respect for Gokkus’ loss but was unable to find any suitable words. Imbaka placed her arm around him and Gokkus embraced her for a moment but neither said anything.

  The three of them moved onwards with Gokkus following Imbaka’s every step, like a machine that was programmed to do so, devoid of any feeling. Cada Varl was the last in line making sure the man dressed in black was not left behind for his mind was still consumed with grief. As Imbaka made sure that they did not succumb to any traps Cada Varl continuously kept a look out for any sign of the enemy. The troops of Metamok they had encountered must have been searching for rebels, meaning they had to be out here somewhere and would have been much more inept at using traps to their advantage.

  When they made camp again and the Helluvans ate a simple dinner, they went to bed earlier than normal. Imbaka placed Gokkus’ arm around her allowing him to know her warmth. There was nothing sexual or erotic about it, Imbaka was simply helping Gokkus’ imagine he was holding Zova as he closed his eyes and entered the world of dreams. Gokkus needed it; he seemed to have lost any desire or will to continue onwards. It was like the largest part of who he was died with Zova and what remained was little more than a shell dressed in black.

  The wilderness remained for several more weeks, but with each day that passed the trees grew further apart and the grass did not grow as tall. It was finally coming to an end and the group, what was left of it, did their best to focus on the task at hand. Knowing what lay beyond the wilderness Imbaka, Gokkus and Cada Varl focused on preparation, using whatever they could in the wilderness to supply themselves as best as possible.

  When the group camp across a small batch of rebel soldiers they actually considered it a blessing. It was clear that Gokkus still possessed great rage and took a great pleasure in firing arrows into the hearts of the unsuspecting rebels. The enemy had been caught completely unaware and those that were not killed by Helluvan arrows were finished off by Cada Varl’s sword. Gokkus and Imbaka both helped themselves to the corpses of the fallen enemy, skinning a number of them and carving meat right off of the bone. The reason why they kept the meat was obvious, but Cada Varl had no idea what they were planning on using the bones and hide for.

  It was only mid-afternoon when the quick skirmish had taken place but Gokkus and Imbaka quickly forged a fire. Unlike a normal fire however this one was placed in a very long rectangle, literally 8 or 9 feet long. Cada Varl watched on, wanting to help but unsure of how he could. He simply put it on himself to gather firewood for the Helluvans, unsure even if they needed it. He watched on as Imbaka placed one of the hides upon the fire so that its fur would bear the brunt of the flames. The fact that it was still covered in the monster’s blood did not faze Imbaka as she spread the fur out as much as possible.

  While Imbaka was burning the fur off of the hides Gokkus was piling bones together, choosing certain ones, most of which were the large leg and arm bones. Using the vines of nearby trees Gokkus began making some kind of rope out of them, twisting and turning them together. When the man dressed in black began to make a fire of his own the Immortal was quick to bring over the firewood he had gathered. Cada Varl watched on as Gokkus dipped the ends of the ropes he was creating into the flames, to ensure that they were burnt together.

  When the fur of a hide had been burnt off completely Imbaka quickly removed it from her fire and placed it upon the ground, where she dipped water across it in order to cool it down. Cada Varl did what he could to help as Gokkus began placing werewolf bones onto the ground in a kind of structure, using the ropes he had made to tie them together. When Cada Varl couldn’t figure out what was going on, he simply asked the Helluvans for an explanation.

  “We’re making water drums,” Gokkus answered keeping his eyes upon what he was doing. It was obvious to the Immortal that Gokkus was not in a talking mood and doing so would only anger and annoy him. So Cada Varl stood silently and simply watched as the water drums were put together. Now knowing what they were the Immortal easily figured it out for himself what every piece of bone and every rope was needed for.

  The werewolf hides were to be used as layer around the bone structures and two hides were used for each drum. Gokkus tied tens of ropes around the drums to ensure they would be as sturdy as possible. A simple lid was made out of a third hide to cover the tops of both drums. In the eyes of the Immortal the drums now looked complete but there was one more thing for the Helluvans to do.

  Using great skill and patience Imbaka and Gokkus each took a long vine and then managed to hollow it out completely without breaking the outer skin. These vines were going to be used as a kind of straw that they could hold in their mouths and drink while keeping their hands free. When they were finally finished Imbaka tapped the top of one of the drums, causing a slight echo within its structure to be heard.

  “They should be ready by tomorrow morning as long as they are not moved,” Imbaka said seemingly for Cada Varl’s benefit only.

  It was not quite dusk by the time they had finished making the drums but the rectangle like fire was put to another use. Using two tools that looked like long pokers Gokkus pushed pieces of werewolf meat onto both of them while Imbaka appeared to be mixing spices together in a large clay bowl. When she was finished mixing the herbs and spices Gokkus held out the pokers so that she could cover every piece of meat with what she had created. The spices did give the meat a far more appealing look, for it stopped the purple blood dropping from the cursed flesh. Cada Varl was extremely curious about how werewolf meat was cooked, he knew that the curse could only be transferred by werewolf bite and not the other way around. But he also knew how superstitious men were and the Helluvans had proven they were not the exception.

  When each piece of meat was covered in the mixture Imbaka took one of the pokers and placed it within the fire, keeping both hands upon the handle and holding it at a very acute angle. Gokkus did the same and both sat in silence watching the meat cook. Cada Varl wondered if the spices and herbs were actually more suited to the items of a shaman rather than a cook, that there was some Helluvan belief that these herbs and spices would protect them from becoming tainted by eating cursed flesh. It turned out however that the herbs and spices were used in the most obvious way, to make the meat taste nicer. Apart from the sheer length of time needed to cook the meat, there was no difference between cooking it and any other kind of meat.

  When the Helluvans removed the meat from the fire, it was a dark rich brown and looked rather quite tasty. Gokkus and Imbaka took no time for the meat to cool down, they were hungry and something as trivial as burning heat was no much for a Helluvan stomach. They took mouthfuls from their water skins every now again as they ate the unbelievable chewy flesh of their enemies. They ate it like it was nothing more than pieces of deer meat. Gokkus even offered a piece to Cada Varl, seemingly forgetting that he didn’t need such nutriment. Gokkus’ remained clouded by his terrible sadness and seeing this Cada Varl took the piece of meat. Though the meat itself did not taste like anything in his mouth because it did not exis
t in his memory, he could taste a particular herb as if he was eating a whole bushel of it.

  He looked to Imbaka knowing Gokkus wasn’t in a talking mood and asked,“Did you use Boldo weed in this?”

  Imbaka offered him her gaze but did not say anything immediately; she was right in the middle of devouring a large piece of meat.

  She shook her head, “ I don’t even know what that is,” she said truthfully.

  “I think he means Netanum,” Gokkus said flatly before continuing his meal.

  Imbaka looked back to Cada Varl and thought for a moment before nodding her head.

  “That is what Netanum would have been known by back before…” Imbaka paused her words realizing the weight they would have carried with them.

  Cada Varl gently nodded his head indicating that he had not been offended and was grateful she had acknowledged his past. “Were they really considering a weed back then?” she asked with a genuine curiosity in her tone.

  Cada Varl nodded, “ They were known as the useful weed, because they could be used as an ingredient in just about any stew.” Cada Varl glanced towards the fire using its flames to enhance the visions of memory in his mind. “I ate them with almost every meal, couldn’t be choosy when you were away from home, dealing with your hunger before you went onto the battle field….” He fell silent but his red eyes hid no secrets, he was remembering his home, the now forgotten kingdom of Gatavoi. Imbaka did not push the matter further and returned to eating her meal. Cada Varl glanced down at the meat in his hand, wondering whether or not he should finish eating it. The meat would only serve as a reminder of what he once was or rather what he had become. Imbaka’s question had been a small shed of light in a world that had been consumed by the darkest of loss and death.

  Cada Varl now hated the silence and what it represented so his forced his mind to the road ahead and he asked, “ Why do we need the water drums?”

  Before Imbaka said anything Gokkus raised his arm and pointed to something in the distance but continued eating his meal. The man dressed in black wanted to find some sense of himself, to return to being a proper member of the journey, but his mind wouldn’t grant him such a thing. Imbaka pointed in the same direction quickly swallowing the meat in her mouth. As the Immortal followed the direction of her finger he looked beyond where they were towards the distant part of the night sky.

  “Do you see that star?” Imbaka asked, the place where she was pointing was literally covered in stars but Cada Varl easily guessed which one she meant. This particular star unlike all the others around it was much larger and had a very faint yet distinct purple to its light. Cada Varl nodded and Imbaka continued, “It is the star of Uleosis, it can only be seen when someone is close enough to the Barcsere Desert.”

  “That is where we are going?” Cada Varl asked looking towards Imbaka who nodded in response. Cada Varl had never heard of a star that could only been seen in certain places, and he couldn’t recall the catacombs of Uldaween possessing such knowledge either.

  “It’s a warning,” Imbaka said sensing the trouble Cada Varl was having with the notion of the star. The Immortal looked upon her before she said, “According to werewolf legend the star was created to warn people to stay away.”

  “Why?” Cada Varl asked with great seriousness.

  “Because,” Imbaka said sensing the Immortal was still troubled. “There is nothing in the Barcsere Desert but dead sand and the full wrath of the sun. But it is the quickest way from where we are to get to where we need to be.”

  Cada Varl studied the eyes of Imbaka, she showed no fear or concern. Slowly Cada Varl looked back to the star and sat silently as his companions finished their meal.

  The following morning Cada Varl asked further about the Barcsere Desert, Imbaka told him that legend stated that it was once a beautiful lush wilderness, but so much death had occurred upon its soil that it caused the grass and the trees to erode, leaving only useless sand behind. It didn’t exactly sound like an ideal place to travel to, but Cada Varl agreed with the Helluvans that they would deal with it when they arrived. In the two days it took them to finally escape the wilderness Gokkus and Imbaka filled the water drums, from whatever small streams they could find, such a task wasn’t difficult but timely to accomplish. When the drums were filled they tied them to their backs leaving Cada Varl to carry everything else they needed, with the exception of their weapons of course.

  When they came to the edge of the desert they could see for themselves why a star had been made to warn travelers. The word barren seemed a gross understatement to what lay before them, a terrain of dead sand and nothing else. Even the clouds had not bothered to appear in this part of the world leaving the sun as the sole ruler of the sky above. None of the three looked up to the sky; the sun seemed to be hell bent on exploiting its monarchy in this place. The edge of the desert really did look like an edge, a perfectly straight line separating the two alien worlds of the wilderness and the barrenness. It all seemed a little too flawless to be the work of nature alone. Yet the Helluvans showed no sign they were overwhelmed by the place but rather it was just another part in a journey that needed to be taken. They placed the straw vines they had created into the sides of their mouths and entered this hellish place. Only in a matter of hours, the hostility of this great nothingness made the Mukinia Mudflats a paradise in comparison. Even the air itself seemed long since dead making it much harder to breathe. But there was no complaining to be had by any of them; they had known all along how difficult this place would be to conquer. They kept themselves in a perfect routine, walking through the day and quickly resting at night, eating rations and forging fires from whatever they had brought with them.

  For the month that they were in the desert they saw nothing on the horizon, not so much as a single mountain. The only thing that they worried about was running out of water, there was simply nowhere to replace the life giving liquid in such a landscape. It was only when there was not a drop left to be drunk that the Helluvans began to worry, realizing that it had become a race against Mother Nature who had already proven she was not in their favor. For almost three days the three traveled without so much as a drop to be had but they would never give up, they wouldn’t grant Mother Nature such satisfaction.

  When they did finally reach the end of the desert Imbaka could not hide her pride that Helluvans had accomplished something no werewolf ever had. Even the earth itself seemed amazed by such an accomplishment, rewarding them with a nearby landscape filled with lush cool trees and many rivers and lakes. They had entered Kajudo a land well known for its natural beauty.

  As Imbaka immersed herself completely into the first river they came across, splashing the water all across her face and hair as she drank deeply Gokkus was much more mundane. He drank the water as well but showed not a hint of happiness or relief that they had conquered the desert. His actions were completely from instinct; he needed water to survive so he drank it, nothing more and nothing less. Cada Varl watched the man dressed in black, knowing what it felt like to lose all sense of one’s self. Seeing how Gokkus was acting it reminded Imbaka not just of his loss but of hers as well, she had lost yet another companion, all because of Cada Varl, at least that is what the Immortal thought.

  After filling their water bottles the group found a small clearing that was well protected by a tree line to make camp for the evening. As far as they knew Kajudo was not a place where battles were regularly fought, but the same thing could have been said about the wilderness that had claimed the life of Zova. By the light of a fire Imbaka took stock of the resources they had left. Little food remained, enough for perhaps 6 meals each, they would have to gather what they could from Kajudo. But their bodies were only just being refreshed by water; they now needed rest more than they had ever before since the start of the journey.

  As Imbaka packed up the supplies Gokkus sat staring into the flames of the fire, his mind haunted by the memories of his dead wife. Every now and agai
n he would take a drink from his water skin, an act that appeared so mechanical. When she was finished Imbaka sat next to the man dressed in black, saying nothing but letting him know she was there for him. He paid no attention to her or to the Immortal who shared her sentiment. He simply sat staring at the fire, mechanically taking swigs of water.

  Sometime later the man dressed in black tried to take another swig, only to find he had drunken all of it. For the first time since sitting down he seemed brought back from his trance but it was only for a moment.

  He stood up and said flatly, “There is a lake nearby, I am going to fill this up.”

  Without waiting for a response Gokkus turned and took two steps until he was stopped by Cada Varl’s words, “Gokkus.”

  Upon hearing his name Gokkus stretched out his hand behind him and without looking back he said, “ I will be careful Cada Varl.” With that he walked beyond the trees and out of sight. Cada Varl eyes stared at the last place he had seen the man in black as he remembered what had happened when Tanagy had decided to walk off by himself. The Immortal couldn’t get the memory out of his head and when he saw that Gokkus hadn’t even taken a weapon with him he quickly went to stand up.

  “Let him be Cada Varl,” Imbaka said sternly yet without aggression.

  Cada Varl looked upon Imbaka who sat staring into the flames, looking almost like Gokkus did as if his sadness was a disease that she had just been infected with. “He is the leader of the Emuge Mura…an enemy would have a better chance of sneaking up on you than him….”

  A large part of the Immortal was telling him to stand up and follow the man dressed in black but he did not, he sat back down as he had been told to do. Gokkus may have been a master of such things, but he had become a shadow of his former self and it was doubtful that even his instincts would be able to override his sadness. The sheer fact he had walked off by himself was proof of this. Cada Varl kept staring at where Gokkus had left his sight, not wanting to miss the moment when he returned.

  “I danced at their wedding….” Imbaka said softly yet Cada Varl heard her clearly. The Immortal looked back to her and saw only sadness in her eyes. He stayed silent knowing there was nothing he could say that would comfort her. She forced her gaze from the fire to look into his powerful red eyes. “Do you know that is the only time when Helluvans dance, at weddings?”

  Cada Varl knew Imbaka was not looking for an answer so he remained silent and listening.

  “I have never seen a more gracious dance, than what Zova and Gokkus performed at their wedding.” Slowly she looked away from him back into the fire. In her mourning she just needed to say those words out loud, for somebody to hear her. Cada Varl looked upon her waiting patiently for her to speak once more. When she kept silent Cada Varl returned staring at the last place he saw the man dressed in black.

  The lake Gokkus had spoken of was not far from where they had camped; only a few minutes’ walk down hill. It was a beautiful clear lake that reflected the light of the full moon above perfectly. But to him it only served as a reminder of the beauty of Zova and it mentally crippled him to look upon. Returning to a mechanical way of moving he opened his water skin and placed it into the lake. When the bubbles had disappeared he removed the water skin and had placed its lid back on.

  Before he had a chance to stand up however he could feel the unforgiving coldness of steel against the side of his neck. This awful feeling violently pulled him from his trance as he heard an unknown voice. “Where are they others? Take me to them!” The voice was dark, strong and vaguely feminine. With eyes widened by panic Gokkus slowly looked towards the lake where he could see a perfect reflection of himself and whoever held a sword to his throat in the moonlight. Her yellow eyes instantly ensured that Gokkus knew she wasn’t a human, dressed in garments of overlapping green she bore the same symbol as Aneeku and the others upon her left arm. Gokkus looked upon her face, seeing her skin was as pale as the moonlight with curling strands of brown hair all across her head. He looked into the reflection of her eyes and noticed how intense they were, he could almost feel them burning through the back of his head. She said something else but Gokkus was not listening to her, he was silently cursing himself for allowing this to happen to him. There was a good reason why he was the leader of the Emuge Mura, he could move like the night itself and detect werewolves before they could even smell his scent in the air. This wasn’t just another enemy either; this foe would have possessed powers similar to Aneeku’s and Nara’s.

  “Stand up,” the non-woman demanded. Gokkus dropped the water skin onto the ground as he did what he had been told to do. He could feel the edge of the sword just itching to cleave his skin but all he could think about was his companions, only minutes away. The enemy turned her blade ever so slightly ensuring that the man in black knew it was there, “I know you are not alone,” she demanded slowly, “Where are the others?” Gokkus quickly glanced towards the reflection in the lake seeing that the non-woman was just out of reach of any kick or punch he could perform. A calmness that did not suit the situation filled the eyes of Gokkus as his thought more deeply than he ever had before. Gokkus placed his right hand around his left wrist before the woman said, “ If you make any move at all I will kill you!” To this Gokkus smiled so broadly that it could be seen underneath the black that covered his face.

  “You know,” he said calmly, “I could say the exact opposite to you.” With that he turned the material on his left wrist with his right hand. Instantly a loud clicking sound was heard before a violent cloud of dust and fire consumed them both.

  The sound the explosion made boomed through the air, quickly reaching the ears of Imbaka and Cada Varl. Startled by the sound both quickly leapt to their feet. With a face harder than even mountain rock Cada Varl ran forward smashing through the tree line and drawing his sword with Imbaka following. The Immortal was moving as fast as he could fearing the worst. He reached the spot where the explosion had taken place, the air was still unsettled by dust but he could see the motionless body of the non-woman. Much of her skin was either burnt black or covered in purple blood, something had ravaged her flesh beyond anything Cada Varl had seen in his 4,000 plus years upon the earth. But where was Gokkus? He could see no sign of the man dressed in black. He looked into the distance and even into the lake but saw no indication of where Gokkus had went.

  Then he saw it, the bottom of a boot charred and scarred sitting several feet before the non-woman. Cada Varl shook his head bewildered by what he was seeing.

  “Reon,” Cada Varl looked over his shoulder to see Imbaka standing there with hollow eyes and an empty expression; she was looking upon the bottom of the boot, the only thing that remained of Gokkus. “Difficult to make, the Emuge Mura carry it to make sure they are never taken alive by the enemy….” Her voice was monotone as if her soul had left to hide somewhere unseen. Cada Varl looked towards the body of the non-woman seeing the black armband she wore that remained completely intact. Something cold and terrible filled him as he realized that Gokkus was dead. He looked away from the body of the non-woman turning his head ever so slightly as he looked towards something that only existed in his own mind.

  “I should have been here with him.” There was a flash of red in his eyes, something that the light of the moon wasn’t responsible for. It was the same light he had used to kill Aneeku and Nara and its presence brought Imbaka out of her shell. A thought then occurred to Cada Varl a sense of reasoning that struggled to be heard amongst the shock that filled him. “If this woman is dead, then why hasn’t the light left her body.” Before he could even look an arrow came passed him, burying itself right into the heart of the non-woman. Imbaka had gathered her senses before he could, ensuring that the enemy was dead.

  The non-woman suddenly opened her eyes for a shard of a moment taking one last breath before that all too familiar light left her body and consumed the night sky. Imbaka lowered her bow, as her eyes remained large and hollow. She was now the only He
lluvan left in the west, this combined with knowing Gokkus was now dead left her empty inside. It was up to Cada Varl to take her back to their camp but not before he softly thanked Gokkus for his sacrifice. Cada Varl tried to perform a funeral ritual but when he was not doing it correctly Imbaka regained enough of herself and took over. With his Vorig within it a purple fire was burned for Gokkus, Imbaka was so shaken by his sudden death that she had to lean slightly on the Immortal to remain sitting. They said their final goodbyes to the man dressed in black and waited for the fire to burn itself out. The silence of waiting for the fire to burn out was an awful thing to endure.

  When the fire did eventually die out a great wind followed it. Imbaka checked the fire to see if the Vorig had completely burnt away, it had.

  She looked up into the night and said softly, “At least he will be reunited with Zova.”

  Even such a powerful thought was not enough to bring strength back to her legs and Imbaka laid down right there trying to conjure up a dream of a better time. Cada Varl stood near her his sword drawn and ready for anything that dared to come anywhere near him. Even the gods would not take Imbaka from him.