We Own Tonight

by Corinne Michaels

“How about we go to my place tonight?” Eli offers.

  So far, he’s stayed at my house each night. I don’t know if it was him trying to fit into my world or show he’s fairly normal, but I’ve appreciated it. Tonight, though, I want to show him the same. His world and my world will need to mesh, and that won’t happen by forcing him to fit only in my space.

  “I’d like that.”

  Eli takes my hand and kisses the top of it. “I’m going to like seeing you in my home.”

  I like that he wants me there at all. I want to make him happy, too. Today was amazing. I knew he was uncomfortable at first, but he joked with my friends, did his best to put up with their husbands, and was all around perfect. I’d catch him watching me, smiling, or finding little ways to touch me. He was taking care of me without me even realizing it.

  “Thank you for today.”

  “I had fun, your friends are great.”

  “They’re something all right.”

  Eli laughs. “Nicole genuinely loves you.”

  “I’m lucky to have her.” As much as she drives me batshit crazy, I could never imagine life without her. “All of them really, but Nicole and I have always been the closest.”

  I tell Eli a little about our childhoods, which makes me laugh. We were not all that bright back then. I don’t know how we didn’t land ourselves in jail. My mother would’ve beaten my ass if she knew half the dumb stuff we tried. Kristin was always the goody two-shoes out of our clique, and our parents allowed us to do anything as long as she was there, too. I guess they hoped she’d somehow talk us out of it, the problem was, we usually talked her into things.

  “Wait, you actually tried to hop the fence to get into Busch Gardens?”

  “It was a dare.” If you told Nicole and me that we couldn’t do it, we found a way. “Nicole’s boyfriend worked there and said it was impossible.”

  “Did it work?”

  We pull into Eli’s driveway and he parks the car. He looks over, waiting for me to answer.

  “You saw firsthand how well we climb fences. We’re no better now than we were then.”

  Eli’s deep laughter fills the car, and he slaps the steering wheel as he lets it out. “That was the best thing I’ve ever seen.”

  I roll my eyes and cross my arms. “It was self-preservation.” It was dumb. I know it, and I can’t imagine how ridiculous we must have looked to someone else. At least I wore pants that day, otherwise, I’d have been even more mortified.

  “From what?”

  “From realizing I just slept with you.”

  Eli shakes his head at my rationality. “I’m not sure if I should be offended. It was definitely a first for me, though. Having someone sneak out after I gave them multiple orgasms.”

  I wish I could go back in time to change many things, but that isn’t one of them. Sure, I could’ve done things differently, but my last few months would be very different.

  “Let me ask you this, if I’d stuck around that night, would we be sitting here today?”

  He goes quiet and runs his hand through his hair. “I wish I could say yes, but you walking out that night is what made me determined to know you. I’ve never had that happen.”

  “No one would dream of running from the Sexiest Man Alive.”

  He chuckles. “You did.”

  I lean over the center console so we’re face to face. “I would do it the same all over again.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Yup, because I’m here with you now, and I know if I’d stayed in that bed, you wouldn’t have chased me.”

  Eli’s eyes soften, and he gives one of his cocky smirks. “I guess we’ll never know.” He moves closer until our breaths become one as we both take in this moment.

  I lift my hand, tangling my fingers in his brown locks without moving my gaze from his. I see the shift from contentment to fear and then to adoration. Is he afraid of us? It’s twice today that I’ve seen something troubling him. There’s a part of me that wants to ask him, but I pretend I don’t see it.

  My gut fills with dread because I know it’s the wrong choice. I’ve felt this before, and I acted on it. I used to beg Matt to talk to me, to tell me what he was feeling. Each time I tried, he pushed me away more. Doing the same thing and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity. For all I know, it’s nothing, yet somewhere inside me, I don’t think that’s the case.

  Eli leans in, touching his lips to mine. I work hard to let whatever I saw go and focus on right now. Our futures are undefined, and if I set us on the wrong path, we’ll crumble. I have to walk it with him and hope that we can endure the potholes and detours.

  He pulls back, resting his forehead on mine. “Let’s go inside. I want to get you in my arms.”

  “Sounds good to me.”

  We exit the car, and he seems to be back to normal. The sun has set, and strategically placed lights illuminate his house. It looks like a freaking palace. The grandness of it all hits me the same way it did the first time. I don’t think it’ll ever fade. With my hand in his, we tour the house again, only this time he shows me all the rooms.

  On the second floor, he shows me his six guestrooms, all are double the size of my master bedroom at home, with a bathroom, and decorated with extreme detail. There’s no way he chose this stuff, I can only imagine how much fun Nicole would’ve had in here.

  When we enter his room, I almost pass out. It isn’t a bedroom; it’s a small house. There’s a sitting room at the far end with a full living room set up, off to the left is a fireplace that’s see through on both sides. Eli leans against the wall watching me as I walk around the room, trying to take it all in.

  “This is incredible,” I say with awe.

  I continue looking around the other side of the fireplace. There’s a master bathroom, if you can call it that, that leaves me speechless. The Jacuzzi tub sits off to the right, and there’s a shower taking up the entire back wall. I swear at least ten people could fit in there.

  Eli clears his throat, causing me to turn quickly. “You look good here.”

  I shake my head in disbelief. “I doubt that.”

  He moves forward. “One day, you’re going to see how beautiful you are.”

  “One day, you’ll realize that you need glasses.” I try to joke, but it falls flat. I’ve never thought I was ugly, but I’m nothing special. It’s still crazy to me that Eli thinks differently.

  He wraps his strong arms around me, and I sink into his embrace. Just like that, Eli can make me feel whole. When I’m with him, my world doesn’t seem so bleak. Sure, the issues are all there, but with him, shouldering them doesn’t feel so hard.

  “Let’s go to bed.” Eli’s words are mixed with double meaning.

  I smile at him. “I’d like that.”

  We both get ready for bed in the massive bathroom. I internally laugh at how vastly different this is from my house. I have one sink in my bathroom, and the double vanity occupies three quarters of one wall.

  Once we’re done, we settle into the king-size bed. As much as I love the space, I kind of like that we snuggle in my smaller bed. Eli puts his arm out, and I nestle into his side. “I like when we’re close like this.”

  He makes a low rumbling sound in his chest as I drape my arm over him. “I never realized how much I like it until it felt like you were miles apart on your side.”

  “Aww, you like being close to me,” I say, teasingly.

  “I like being very close to you.”

  I grin and kiss his torso. “I like that you like that.”

  “Are you trying to seduce me, Officer?”

  I look at him through my lashes and bat them. “Me?”

  He twists, hoisting me so we’re even. “I don’t mind if you are.”

  “Are you seducible, Mr. Walsh?”

  Eli’s lips move to my ear so he can trace the shell with his tongue before gripping it in his teeth. “Maybe you should find out.”

  I move my hand under the covers, skimm
ing over his hard body, until I find his erection. I love that he’s always ready and I never have to wonder if he wants me. There are many benefits to sleeping naked, this is one.

  Eli groans as I wrap my fingers around him and my lips find his. He roughly grips my hips, digging into my flesh as I start to jerk him off.

  My phone rings in my bag across the room, but I’m too lost in his touch to care.

  His moan is low, and I swallow it as we kiss. I feel his hands on my breasts, kneading the skin and pulling at my nipple. The sexual chemistry we share is unlike anything I’ve had before. I’m not the most experienced lover, but Eli pushes me. I want to please him. I love knowing it’s my body he’s seeking, claiming, and worshiping.

  “You make me crazy,” Eli admits before his mouth is on mine again. His hands exploring my body until his fingers brush my clit.

  The phone goes off again. “Maybe you should get that,” he practically growls against my lips, and I groan.

  I drop my head on the pillow and curse the phone. “Don’t go anywhere,” I warn and hop out of bed. I glance back at him as he rests his head on his hand, watching me as I prance across the room.

  My phone has six missed calls from a number I don’t know. I didn’t realize it rang that much. Something is wrong, I can feel it in my bones. No one calls me that much unless it’s an emergency, and my dumbass ignored the call. “Hello?” I ask with a shake in my voice.

  “Heather, it’s Anthony.”

  “Anthony.” My eyes shoot to Eli’s, and he’s already tossing the covers off him. “What’s wrong?”

  He pauses and dread fills my body. “You need to come to Tampa General. Please don’t wait.”

  “Is she—” I choke the words as Eli’s hands grip my shoulders. I can’t say the words. I can’t ask if she’s gone, because if he says yes, I’ll lose it.

  “Just get here.”

  The phone drops to the floor, and Eli’s arms encircle me. Everything I thought I knew about how I’d handle this moment is false. I feel my body start to protect itself. My mind goes to a place where I can’t feel or do anything. I’m not sure how I got to the bed. I don’t know how my shirt is on my body. Nothing is real right now. It’s as if time has ceased to exist for me.

  I feel hollow and lifeless.

  Eli lifts me in his arms, carrying me like a child down the stairs. He barks orders to someone as we move to the car. He must be on the phone, but I truly can’t process anything around me.

  The car is moving, but I can’t see anything passing by. I didn’t need Anthony to tell me she died and I wasn’t there with her. I can feel it.

  My world is without my sister.

  I’m alone.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Heather

  “We did everything we could, Ms. Covey. I’m truly sorry for your loss.” The doctor explains as I stand with a steady stream of tears trekking down my cheeks and dripping off the tip of my chin.

  My sister has drawn her last breath.

  Three days ago, we were at an amusement park. We were laughing, enjoying our time together, and now she’s dead. No warning, no time to say goodbye, nothing but agony.

  Now I stand in a cold, stark room while they try to give me some kind of answers.

  “How did this happen so fast?” I ask. “I thought there would be a warning, something to tell me it was coming.”

  Anthony comes forward. “She begged us not to tell you.”

  “Tell me what?”

  Dr. Pruitt touches my arm. “Stephanie was being treated for pneumonia after her seizure. It’s why we kept her a few extra nights. The antibiotics weren’t working, but she demanded we stop all treatment and discharge her. We did the best we could with the parameters she set.”

  Anger floods my veins, searing the pain in every limb. She chose this? She knew? They were lying to me? Don’t they know what this cost me? My chest heaves as I struggle to understand how this could happen.

  I look to Eli and then back to the doctor, and I erupt, “I don’t understand! How could no one tell me? How didn’t you think I should know?” I scream at them. “I was her caretaker! She wasn’t thinking straight! I’m her sister! I should’ve known.”

  Eli pulls me into his embrace, and I wail. I smack his arm and then his chest, angry at everyone. Angry at him because I was with him when this happened. Angry at Stephanie because she didn’t tell me. I could’ve had another three days with her. If they’d kept me informed, I never would’ve allowed her to come to a fucking amusement park. I would’ve pushed her to have treatment, not let it kill her. There were so many things I could’ve done, and now, it’s too late.

  My rage turns to Anthony. “You knew!” I rage at him. “You knew she was sick, and you brought her out!”

  His head drops, and when he looks back at me, his eyes are brimming with tears. “I know you don’t believe this, but I cared about her. She asked me if I would help to keep her stable so she could have that day with you. She wanted one day of normal with you. Your sister knew she was dying and didn’t want to drag it out. I was there with her, holding her hand, and giving her what she asked for.”

  “You knew her for what, a week? I was there every single day throughout the last seven years! I should’ve been the one beside her. You took that from me.”

  A lone tear falls down his face, but there is no room in my broken heart to feel anything but hatred for him. “Believe me, your sister loved you so much that she wanted to spare you. It was all from love.”

  I hate myself. I hate him. I hate everyone, and I can’t breathe.

  I gasp for air as Eli rubs my back. “Easy, baby.”

  I look to him, his image blurry. “She’s gone and I didn’t say goodbye. I wasn’t there, Eli. I wasn’t with her.”

  “I know.”

  The doctor clears his throat. “We had specific instructions from Stephanie in her medical directive. They were followed to the letter. I’m truly sorry for your loss, Ms. Covey. Take as much time as you need.”

  He and Anthony both walk away, leaving me to do the last thing I ever wanted to do . . . say goodbye to my baby sister.

  Eli and I walk down the hallway with his arm around my shoulder. I want to push him away, be alone and wallow in my grief, but I can’t seem to do it. He’s the only person here who didn’t spend the last however long lying to me. I hold onto him as we move, following the line on the floor. We don’t speak because there’s nothing to say. I can’t go back in time. I can’t change the way everyone handled this. Once again, I’ve had the choice stripped from me.

  The door is open, and I glance at her lifeless body lying there. I’m not strong enough for this. I’ve been fooling myself by believing I was prepared. There’s no preparing for grief. Instead, I’m thinking of how I wasn’t with her in the end. No, I was lying in Eli’s bed, wishing my phone weren’t ringing. I should’ve been holding her hand, telling her how loved she was. My beautiful little sister is gone, and I hate that she didn’t hear my voice telling her all the things she needed to know.

  Eli’s hand is on my back, and I spin, crumple against his chest, and twist my fists in the fabric of his shirt. “No, no, no, no!” I thought maybe this was a lie. Somewhere deep inside I hoped she’d be alive, but she’s not. “I’m not ready for this!” I cry. “She can’t be gone. Please, God, give her back to me!”

  He murmurs words of comfort and support, but they don’t matter. There’s no way to soothe the torture I’m feeling. Grief, guilt, anger, and desolation consume me. “Do you want to go in? You don’t have to.”

  I know I need to. Even though she isn’t really there, it’s all that’s left of her. “Yes, I do.” I say to him and straighten my shoulders, finding a tiny bit of strength in his warm hand on the small of my back.

  “I’ll be right here.”

  My feet shuffle forward, and I pull the chair closer to the side of her bed as my heart splinters. Eli stays back, allowing me some privacy. I lift my hand, brushing the dark brow
n strands off her face. She used to love when I did this. In the beginning of her disease, it was the only thing that calmed her. I would spend countless nights running my fingers through her hair.

  I close my eyes, not wanting to see her face, and repeat the motion. “I’m sorry, Stephy. I wasn’t here, and I’ll never forgive myself for that. I’m your sister, and I was supposed to be beside you. I don’t know if you were scared or if it hurt. I don’t know if you were looking for me—” A strangled sob breaks free.

  Eli moves, but I put my hand up to stop him. I need to do this alone. Even if she isn’t alive, I pray she can hear me.

  “I would’ve been here, baby girl. I should’ve been by your side. You were my whole world, Stephanie Covey. I don’t know how to go on. I love you more than my own life. You were the best sister in the world. Each day that I had you was a gift, and I wish it never ended. I wish I could tell you a stupid joke right now.” The tears come so hard I can’t see. “I wish I could hold you and tell you how special you were. Because you were everything good in this world.” I wipe my face and suck down a breath. “The world was a better place with you in it. I was a better person because of you.”

  My head falls on the side of the bed, and I grip her lifeless hand in mine. I cry without restraint. It’s ugly, full of pain, and I don’t have the wherewithal to care. “It should’ve been me who was sick! You didn’t deserve this.”

  I have no idea how long I stay hunched over the bed clinging to her. I never understood loss until this moment. I thought when my parents died that was the most grief I could’ve felt, but that was a splash in a puddle. Now, I’m drowning in the ocean, the current pulling me farther out into the murky waters.

  I need air.

  I can’t breathe.

  My lungs struggle to function. I gasp, trying to find any oxygen in the room, but there is none.

  “Easy, baby. Easy. Look at me, Heather.” Eli’s kneeling by my side and cradling my face as he wipes the tears with his thumb. My eyes find his, and he stares until I calm down. “That’s it. Breathe. Just breathe. I’m right here.”