Unveiling the Past

by Kim Vogel Sawyer

  She moved in the direction he’d prompted, but she shook her head. “I’m not that good at pretending. And neither are you.” She paused outside the doors and put her hand against his chest. “You’re not going to be able to think about anything else, so why not unburden yourself? Mother and I are both good listeners, and Mother’s had enough life experience to intelligently advise the president.”

  Hazel offered a solemn nod. “That’s probably true.”

  Kevin swallowed a chortle.

  “Why be stubborn and hold it all in when you’ve got help at your disposal?”

  Her warm hand over his heart did funny things to his middle. He gently grasped her wrist and lowered her arm. “Thank you, but Kip’s a…” He sought a word that wouldn’t be considered vulgar by the older woman’s generation. “Nitwit. He’s always going to be a nitwit. No one can change that.”

  “You’re wrong, Kevin.” Hazel shook her finger at him. “Someone can change him. The same Someone who can change you.”

  Kevin drew back. “Not to be disrespectful, ma’am, but I’m not the one who needs changing.”

  “Wrong again.” Hazel folded her arms and fixed a stern look on him that made him squirm.

  The doors opened, and a man strode out carrying a large box. A woman and little boy followed him. The child swung the woman’s hand and giggled. The sight twisted Kevin’s stomach in a knot. He’d never seen Kip so carefree. Kevin couldn’t ever recall being so carefree.

  He turned his attention back to Hazel. Her bright eyes remained locked on him. The knowing curve of her lips made him believe she’d read his mind.

  She slipped her hand through the bend of her daughter’s arm. “I don’t think any of us are in the mood to shop for bathroom fixtures right now. So let’s postpone the duty and go to Brenda’s.”

  Kevin frowned. “Who’s Brenda?”

  Diane chuckled. “Not a who, a where. Brenda’s is a little sandwich shop on the Strip.”

  “But in the morning, they sell muffins the size of a head of cabbage.” Hazel smiled at Kevin. “I’m particularly fond of the zucchini-walnut muffins. If you buy me one, I’ll share it with you.”

  A laugh exploded from him before he realized it was coming. It startled him, but it felt good. He shook his head. How could Diane have called this woman neurotic? He wished he could adopt her as his grandma. Or maybe Kip’s grandma. “All right, I’m in. Since you’re the advisor, who should drive?”

  “Margaret Diane. She knows where we’re going. We’ll come back here after our break. If we’re in the mood, we’ll shop. If not, we’ll leave you at your vehicle. Deal?”

  Kevin nodded. “Deal.”

  Diane

  “I keep thinking he’s got to grow up, you know?” Kevin held a cup of coffee between his palms and seemed to stare at the black liquid. “But instead, he’s getting into more serious trouble. I mean, caught with an illegal substance? What’s he thinking? His life…it’s falling apart, and he’s going to destroy his mother and me in the process.”

  They’d chosen a corner booth. The old-fashioned high backs created a cozy nook, and the intimacy of the setting must have wooed Kevin to a place of security. He’d shared Kip’s behavioral and attitude issues dating all the way back to preschool. Diane didn’t want to feel sorry for Kevin, but she did. Although he expressed his worries through a veil of anger, his genuine confusion told her he wanted something better for Kip. He just didn’t know where to find it.

  Mother had listened in silence, breaking off tiny pieces of her muffin and eating while Kevin talked. Diane had chosen to stay quiet, too, mostly because she had no idea how to advise him. Only by the grace of God—and Mother’s prayers—had Meghan grown into the amazing young woman she was. Despite Mother’s overprotectiveness, the result of a deep-seated fear of loss, she had done well raising Diane. She’d taken her to church, modeled respectfulness and responsibility, and disciplined her appropriately. Even if Diane hadn’t appreciated it at the time, she appreciated it now. She waited for her mother to address the things Kevin divulged.

  Mother finally pushed the last of her muffin aside. “Kevin, when you buy a building, what’s the first thing you inspect?”

  Both Diane and Kevin gawked at her. Had Mother been listening or daydreaming? She’d gone completely off topic.

  Kevin blinked twice, picked up his cup, put it down without taking a sip, then coughed a short laugh. “The first thing? The foundation, of course.”

  “Why?”

  He gave Diane a quick “are you kidding me?” look. “Because if the foundation is bad, there’s no sense in buying it. No sense in renovating it. A bad foundation means the whole place is bad. Eventually it’ll collapse.”

  “Foundations are important, then?”

  “Yes, that’s what I just said.”

  For several seconds Mother sat gazing across the table at Kevin, her lips sucked in and her forehead puckered. Then she nodded. “Your Kip is falling apart because he doesn’t have a sound foundation. And you”—she pointed at Kevin, her eyebrows shooting high—“don’t either.”

  He sat straight up. He connected with the booth’s wooden backrest with a soft thump. He remained pressed there, as if trying to put as much distance as possible between Mother and himself. “Me? I’m not the nitwit.”

  “I didn’t say you were.” Mother spoke tartly. Then her expression softened. “Tell me what you did for fun with Kip when he was little.”

  Kevin crunched his forehead. “What do you mean?”

  Mother held out her hand. “I mean fun. Recreation. Entertainment.”

  Kevin stared like he’d gone into a trance.

  Mother sniffed. “Honestly, for an intelligent man, you can certainly be obtuse.”

  Diane hid a smile. Mother was winding up for a strike.

  “Did you take him to the zoo? Play catch with him? Go for bike rides? Work puzzles together?”

  Kevin gave a slow shake of his head. “No. No, I didn’t.”

  “Why not?”

  “I was working.” He sounded defensive. “A person has to make a living, you know.”

  “Yes, I know.” Mother’s expression warned him to watch his tone. “So when you talked to him, what did you talk about?”

  Kevin snorted. “The stupid things he’d done. Believe me, we had plenty of chances to talk.”

  “So you only told him what he did wrong? Never what he did right?”

  He scowled. “I don’t think I like where this is going.”

  “I’m sure you don’t. But I’m going there anyway. Kevin, if you never spent time engaging with Kip other than to correct him, you likely didn’t take the time to first develop a father-son relationship with him. No one likes to be told what to do by someone with whom they have no real relationship.”

  “So it’s my fault he messes up?”

  Mother sighed. “Not entirely. He’s an adult now. Each of us comes to a fork in life’s road when we realize there’s a choice to make—continue as we’ve been going or follow a new path. Past experiences and influences can certainly play a role, but ultimately we make our own decisions.”

  Diane cringed, realizing how her decision to do the opposite of what she’d deemed her mother’s paranoid protectiveness had resulted in near neglect of her daughter. Her long-held hostility had robbed her and Meghan of a meaningful relationship with Mother for years. She couldn’t go back, and she believed God had forgiven her, but sometimes she still regretted her foolishness.

  “Then it’s Kip’s problem, not mine.” He sounded smug.

  Mother shook her head. “You’re missing the point. Deliberately, I think.” She folded her arms. “Let’s go back to the foundation, shall we? Granted, once a building’s foundation has crumbled, there’s little point in investing in it. But lives are very different than buildings. Lives are always worth
investing in. As long as Kip still draws breath, there’s hope for change.”

  Kevin winced. An odd reaction Diane wanted to explore, but Mother went on.

  “You said no one could change Kip, but I think what you really meant was you can’t change Kip. You’re absolutely right about that. You can’t change him. His mother can’t change him. The only one who can change Kip is Kip, but even he can’t do it on his own. He needs a solid foundation on which to build his life. With the foundation in place, there’s hope.”

  Kevin’s gaze narrowed. He lifted his head slightly and peered down his nose at Mother. “Are you going to preach at me?”

  “Yes, I am. And you’re going to listen because you need the foundation as much as Kip does.” Mother opened her purse and withdrew a tiny New Testament. She’d carried it for as long as Diane could remember, and the poor little thing was battered and dog eared. She laid it on the table facing Kevin and opened it to 1 Corinthians, chapter 3. She tapped a section of text. “See here? Read it to me.”

  Kevin looked like he’d rather take a beating than read the verse, but he leaned forward and scowled at the tiny book. “ ‘For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ.’ ”

  “Yes, Jesus Christ.” Mother smiled. “At the time of this writing, people in church were trying to follow other things, other people. And Paul set them straight. If they were trying to build their lives on anything other than the truth of Jesus, their lives would crumble.”

  She pulled the Bible close again. “Are you familiar with the cornerstone of a building?”

  Kevin rolled his eyes. “Of course I am.”

  Her lips twitched. “Define it for me, please.”

  “A cornerstone is the first stone set when constructing a masonry foundation.” He spoke flatly, the way Diane’s students did when they were bored with a subject. “It’s the most important stone since all others will be set in reference to this stone. In other words, it determines the position of the entire structure.”

  “You said it’s the most important stone, yes?”

  He sighed, reminding Diane again of her freshman students. “Yes.”

  Mother flipped a few pages and turned the Bible to face him again. “Look here at Ephesians 2:20. See what it says? Christ Jesus Himself is the chief cornerstone.” Tears winked in Mother’s eyes. “Our structures, our lives, are doomed to collapse unless we build on the cornerstone, Jesus Christ. With Him as our foundation, our lives become stronger, more purposeful, more fulfilled. In fact, in John 10:10 we have Jesus’s words sharing a very important truth.”

  She riffled to a page so marked up the original text was nearly obliterated. Her voice quavered as she read, “ ‘I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.’ ” She looked at Kevin, and the joy shining in her eyes brought the sting of tears to Diane’s. “Life ‘to the full’ is what He wants for us, and He knows we cannot have it unless we have Him. You won’t find fulfillment in owning lots of properties or even in having lots of wives. Ask King Solomon for confirmation. Kip won’t find it in revelry and rebellion and spending money. Your relationship as father and son will never grow and develop until you put a strong foundation of mutual love and affection beneath it.”

  Kevin shook his head. “Hazel, this all sounds well and good, but Kip is twenty-three years old. There’s too much time gone. I can’t take him on bike rides or toss a ball around with him. We can’t change any of that now.”

  “I’m not telling you to go backward. I’m telling you to go forward. Jesus Christ wants to be your cornerstone. He wants to be your life completer. If you’ll let Him in, you’ll discover the change He can make. But it’s your choice. Continue living on the same crumbling and collapsing foundation, or build your life on the One who was, who is, and who will always be.” Mother closed the Bible, returned it to her purse, then turned a serene smile on Kevin. “You’re familiar with a building’s construction. Which makes more sense?”

  Twenty-Nine

  Kevin

  She’d gotten to him. As much as Kevin hated to admit it, Hazel’s talk about a cornerstone made sense. If a building—an inanimate object—needed a solid foundation, then it seemed to follow that people needed one, too. Had Dad’s life gone the direction it did because he’d lacked a cornerstone?

  His heart twisted in his chest. He’d done his best to emulate Dad in business dealings and business relationships. He’d emulated Dad when parenting Kip, too—set high standards, made the boy plenty uncomfortable when he didn’t meet them so he’d want to avoid disapproval. But it hadn’t worked so well with Kip. Was it because Kevin had known Dad loved him but Kip didn’t have that assurance with Kevin?

  Kevin hung his head. “I’ll admit things were rocky between Kip and me from the very first days of my marriage to Julie. I knew he’d be there—for Pete’s sake, he even went on some of our dates—but I didn’t realize how much a three-year-old is there, you know? Unless they’re asleep, they’re right in the middle of everything you’re doing. I think I kind of resented that.”

  Hazel nodded. “And more likely than not, he resented you being there, too. After all, up until then, he’d had no competition for his mother’s attention.”

  Kevin hadn’t considered Kip’s feelings. He’d seen Kip as a child, not a person whose thoughts and feelings really mattered. He cringed. “I think what I said most to him that first year was ‘Can’t you go play and leave us alone?’ ” Small wonder Kip hadn’t liked him.

  “So suddenly he had a man in the house. A dad.” Hazel’s tone turned musing, as if she were looking at his first marriage through a peephole into the past. “A dad who was taking time with Mom away from him and told him, in essence, to go away. So he went away, but he still wanted attention, so he…” She fixed her gaze on Kevin and whirled her hand in the air. “Fill in the blank for me, Kevin.”

  He snorted. “He broke things.”

  “And what did you do?”

  “Let him know without any doubt he’d messed up.”

  “You paid attention to him.”

  A light went on in the back of Kevin’s brain. He gaped at the older woman.

  She raised her eyebrows, and her expression said, Mm-hmm. She folded her wrinkled hands on the edge of the table. “I have a theory I call the potato chip theory. It’s very simple. Every child likes potato chips, yes?”

  He couldn’t argue with her statement, so he nodded.

  “They prefer crisp potato chips. Who wouldn’t? But if all they’re offered are soggy ones, they’ll take them.” She leaned in slightly, and he did the same without conscious thought. “Now, replace the crisp potato chips with positive attention and the soggy ones with negative attention. Children would rather have positive attention, but if the only attention they ever receive is negative, they will do what it takes to earn it.” She sat back and offered a soft smile.

  He rested his head against the high seat back and sighed. “And now Kip has formed the habit of doing negative things to gain his mother’s and my attention.”

  “So it seems,” Diane said. “But if habits can be learned, they can be unlearned.”

  He gave a start. Diane hadn’t said a word the entire time he and her mother talked, but suddenly she inserted a comment that sounded as if it came from personal experience. He settled his gaze on her serious face.

  “I developed the habit of pushing God aside, of ignoring the things I knew were right. I was rebellious and foolish. But Mother never stopped praying for me to return to the foundation of faith I’d accepted when I was a child. I was older than Kip is now when I realized my error and chose to reverse my steps. It’s never too late, Kevin. It’s never too late to begin a relationship with God the Father through His Son, and it’s never too late to fix a human relationship that’s gone wrong.”

  He didn’t reply. He didn’
t trust himself to reply. Because he was afraid if he opened his mouth, the unspoken question making his pulse pound and his hands tremble might find its way out. How would she respond if he asked if it was too late for them?

  Fort Smith, Arkansas

  Meghan

  Meghan put the last of her clothing in the suitcase and zipped it closed. She could hardly wait to see Sean. Even though she’d learned some valuable things from partnering with Greg, she’d also discovered she did not want to work apart from her husband anymore. They were a team in every way that mattered.

  She lifted her suitcase from the bed and turned to Sheila. “Are you ready?”

  Sheila’s duffle was closed, and she sat beside it, her fingers resting over the handle. Tears swam in her blue eyes.

  Sympathy struck hard. If the past days had been hard for Meghan, they had to have been doubly hard for Sheila. Meghan put her suitcase on the floor, crossed to the younger woman, and sat beside her. “Are you okay?”

  Sheila shrugged, her chin wobbling. “I don’t know. I can’t decide. There’s so much all mixed up inside me, you know?”

  Meghan thought she understood, so she nodded. She took Sheila’s hand, surprised by how easy she found it to comfort her new friend. “Lots of secrets have held your family in limbo for a long time. But those secrets will be revealed, Sheila. Secrets in the light of day lose their power. It’ll take time, but you’ll overcome.”

  “How do you know?”

  “Because you’ve already overcome so much. You’re amazingly strong and resilient.” Meghan meant every word. Sheila had carried an incredible weight of responsibility for a long time. She was wise beyond her years. “And I’ll be praying for you.”

  Sheila leaned close and rested her head on Meghan’s shoulder. “Thank you. You know, it’s kind of embarrassing to say this, and it’s not like I think you’re super old or something, but being with you…having you look out for me and advise me…has kind of been like having a mom again.”