by Baer, Susan
The butler appeared in the doorway. “Miss Adams, may I show you to your room?”
“Uh, yes. Thank you.”
She walked into the foyer and followed the butler up the grand staircase hoping with all her might she was doing the right thing.
Jake watched her head up the stairs from the end of the hall. A vibration drew his attention to his pocket. He pulled Marie’s cell phone out and checked the caller ID.
Janet Becker
With a slimy grin he pushed a button to end the call.
“Sorry, bitch. She’s busy.”
****
Jake walked into the study and tossed his leather jacket on the chair next to the mantle. He ran his hand around his neck to massage the muscles in the back and poured a glass of bourbon.
“Was your evening successful?”
Jake laughed and turned around. “Not quite. Maggie, or Missy, or whatever the hell her name was obviously can’t hold her liquor.”
Jensen stepped into the room and hung Jake’s jacket on a hanger before draping it over the back of the sofa. “I thought that was the point.”
“I guess I just wasn’t in the mood.”
“Or maybe she wasn’t the right one?”
“What’s that supposed to mean? Since when do I care who warms my bed?”
“You’ve cared for some time now, Jacob. You’re learning but you still have a long way to go.”
“I think you’re another one who can’t hold his liquor, old man. I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“You’ve been a bit more selective in recent months, as though you’re narrowing your standards.”
“Is that so?” Jake paced to the chair where he’d tossed his jacket and sat down.
“Yes. In fact, your houseguest seems remarkably like the last three who’ve caught your eye.”
“Marie has no interest in warming my bed.” Jake took a long swallow. “But that will change eventually.”
“When are you going to learn, Jacob, you cannot buy love?”
“When it becomes the truth. Every woman has a price, Jensen. Marie’s is just higher than most.”
“Her price is love and you don’t love her.”
Jake raised his glass to Jensen indicating he wanted it filled. “You think not?”
“I can see it in your eyes, Jacob. You want her to love you, but you don’t love her.” He took the glass and replenished the ice and bourbon.
Jake laughed. “You’re slipping old man. I just need to change tactics with Marie. She’s a bit smarter than the others.”
Jensen stood in front of him and handed the drink to him. “Look me in the eye and tell me you love her.”
Jake set the glass on the table at his right. “I can give her anything she could possibly want.”
“A woman like Miss Adams wants the love of a man. Can you give her that?”
Jake stirred the ice with his finger and stared at the amber liquid as he spoke. “She’ll love me in time.”
“But will you love her?”
“This conversation is over.” Jake stood and walked to the front of his desk. He stared at the portrait of his mother hanging on the wall behind it.
“Let her go, Jacob. She loves another. I can see it—”
“In her eyes?” Jake turned to him and laughed. “You need to start reading Tarot cards old man because eyes don’t seem to be your forte.”
“Damn it, Jacob! Look me in the eye and tell me you love her.”
Jake turned back to his mother’s portrait.
Jensen stepped to his side and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. “Tell me you love her and I will believe you.”
Jake smiled wryly at his mother. “I can’t.”
“Take her home, Jacob.”
Jake downed the last of his bourbon. “No. She will love me.” Jake placed his empty glass on his desk and walked out.
Jensen put the empty glass on a tray and turned for the door. Halfway across the room he turned back to the portrait of Jake’s mother.
“Congratulations, Miranda. You taught him everything you know about love.”
Jensen grabbed Jake’s leather jacket and stepped into the hall.
****
Jake closed the door to his suite of rooms and turned the deadbolt. He took a step toward his dressing room and laughed.
“I guess old habits do die hard.”
He remembered locking himself in his room frequently as a child to hide from Jensen. Jensen always doled out the punishments his parents came up with. He always knew where Jake had gone and it only delayed the inevitable, but it gave Jake time to prepare for whatever was to come.
He removed his trousers and Marie’s phone slid from his pocket. It landed on the soft carpet face up. The screen illuminated and several icons appeared showing new messages. He poured another glass of bourbon and sat back against the pillows at the head of his bed.
He sipped his drink and scrolled through them looking for any information that might tell him what was going on. She had several voicemails she hadn’t listened to, one from Janet and two from Warren. No information there. They just both seemed desperate to talk to her.
The text messages, however, did have something interesting. Marie had sent one to Janet on her way here tonight.
He doesn’t want the baby. I’m going away to think. I’ll call you when I get there. Please don’t tell him. I’ll take care of it.
Janet had replied about an hour ago asking her to call.
“Well, now that’s interesting. I never pegged Warren as the type to love ‘em and leave ‘em.” He scratched his chin. “So, Dr. Dynamo has a flaw. A big one.”
Chapter 21
“Dr. Jackson, Dr. Collins is on line one.”
Warren kept his eyes on the razor thin line of light shooting up from behind the blinds on his window. “I told you Tracy, I’m not available. Take a message.”
“I’m sorry, Dr. Jackson, but Dr. Collins said it was an emergency.”
Warren scrubbed his hands over his face. He could feel the stubble on his cheeks. Shaving took more energy than he’d had this morning. He hadn’t slept at all last night worrying about Marie and their baby. Even now with his office darkened sleep was impossible.
He reached for his phone and picked up the call. “This better be good, Dwight.”
“Your therapist didn’t show up for work. He’s thirty minutes late and I have no one to assess for crises.”
Warren pulled up the schedule on his screen and grunted. “That would be because the next doctor on the schedule isn’t supposed to be there for another four hours. Right now it shows a Miss Rachel Downing. One of your nurses. Next time make damn sure it’s important!”
Warren slammed the phone down and pushed the intercom for Tracy.
“Yes, Dr. Jackson.”
“You should have handled that. Grow a backbone and learn to stand up to those MDs.”
He disconnected the intercom and resumed his study of the beam of light insistent on invading his dark mood. Thoughts of Marie swam in his mind. He tried to focus on the pleasant ones, the ones where he was holding her tight and feeling her warmth. But they all circled back to the last time he’d seen her standing in the doorway and the deep pain he saw in her eyes. His vision blurred and he whispered, “I’m so sorry, Marie. I didn’t know.”
Warren saw the light reflecting off the ceiling as his office door opened. He was about to reprimand Tracy for disturbing him when he recognized the profile shadow on the wall. He spun around to face AJ.
“Did you find her? Do you know where she is?”
“No, Warren. I am sorry.”
Warren turned his back to AJ and wiped the wetness from his cheek. “Then whatever it is can wait.”
AJ reached over and turned on the lamp at the end of his sofa just inside the door. “How the hell can you see anything in here?”
“I was trying to sleep.”
“Is it working?”
“No.” He
leaned back and propped his feet on his desk.
“I am not surprised.”
Warren returned to studying the beam of light.
AJ walked to Warren’s desk. “You have to snap out of this. I am sure she is fine and we will find her soon. Marie is a smart woman and she took care of herself well enough before you came along.”
“That’s not the point. I need to take care of her now. And I need to know she’s safe.”
“Warren, I can understand how you feel—”
“Really? Did the other half of your soul, who happens to be pregnant with your child, just walk out of your life?”
AJ hesitated. “No, I guess not. Jackie was not pregnant when she left me.” He looked down at the floor. “At least not that I’m aware of.”
“Fuck,” Warren whispered. “I forgot about… I’m sorry, man.”
“Don’t be. That part of my life is over.” He sighed. “Warren, the point is hiding in your office is not doing either of you any good. And taking it out on Tracy is not fair.”
“Life isn’t fair. The sooner she learns that the better off she’ll be.”
“She does not deserve your wrath. You are the professional. Do not abuse your authority.”
“I suppose I’ll get detention for not playing nice with my secretary.”
“Knock it off, Warren. I have made plenty of excuses for your attitude today. No one knows what is going on. Not even Tracy. But you have got to pull yourself together…now.”
“Go away, AJ.”
“No.” AJ shoved Warren’s feet to the floor and threw his suit jacket at him. “Get up and for God’s sake make yourself presentable. I have a couple of ideas where she might be and you are coming with me.”
Warren jumped to his feet. “What the hell are we waiting for? Let’s go.”
AJ crossed his arms and stood in front of the office door. “Not until you at least shave. I said I made excuses for you, but none of them included an explanation for you looking like a wino.”
“Fine.” Warren stomped to his private bathroom like a five-year-old throwing a temper tantrum. He was glad he kept an electric razor at the office because he wasn’t about to take the time to shave with a blade.
He splashed water on his face and finger combed his hair. When he came out AJ was talking to Tracy.
“I will be accompanying Dr. Jackson to several meetings this afternoon. You will not find them on his calendar because they were just scheduled this morning. Neither of us will be back today.” He handed her one of his business cards. “If anyone needs to get a hold of Dr. Jackson you call me at this number and I will take care of it. I am simply an observer today, Dr. Jackson will be busy.”
Warren followed AJ into the corridor. “Thanks, AJ.”
“No problem.” He smiled. “I’m not always a heartless bastard.” He stepped into the elevator. “Only when I have to be.”
****
Jensen’s directions to the dining room were perfect. Still it took Marie more time than she thought it would to get there. Last night she had eaten in the kitchen when she convinced the cook that a sandwich and a glass of lemonade were all her stomach could handle. When she was done she’d gone straight to bed. She had no desire to be awake if Jake returned early.
In the morning one of the maids had given her a brief tour that was confined to the wing her room was in. It had everything except a kitchen and dining room. Marie supposed it was designed that way to make it seem as though the rest of the house was necessary.
This was the first time she left the wing without a chaperone. She didn’t dare wander on her own without directions or a map. If she took a wrong turn she’d need a GPS to find her way back.
She started down the final corridor toward the doors Jensen had described that opened into the dining room, and for the millionth time since she got into Jake’s car last night, she thought she must have been insane to have agreed to go with him.
Marie realized that despite knowing him for the past two years, she really didn’t know him at all. The Jake she knew from Parillo’s was arrogant and crude. This Jake was sophisticated and well-bred, and the fact that she didn’t know what to expect from him frightened her.
She wanted to have dinner in her room. But Jensen had politely refused her request, stating that Sir Winston and his wife would not approve. When she tried for another sandwich in the kitchen Jensen refused again with an apology. He explained the cook wouldn’t have time to make her a separate meal while he was making dinner for Jake in the dining room.
Her stomach did a little flip when she stepped through the double doors. The room was by far the biggest dining room she had ever seen. The long table in the center would seat about fifty people, she thought. Jake had told her she could wear whatever she wanted to dinner and she opted for linen slacks and the nicest sweater she had brought with her. But the crystal chandelier, mahogany dining table, and ornate fireplace left her feeling very much out of place.
Jake was sitting at the head of the table at the opposite end of the room. He was leaning to the side with his elbow on the arm of the chair and his chin resting on his thumb. He traced his bottom lip with his finger and watched her walk the length of the room. He reminded her of a conquering ruler who was assessing the value of his spoils of war.
Suddenly, going to bed hungry seemed like a very appealing idea.
He rose from his chair and pulled hers out when she approached.
“I’m not very hungry. I think I should go…” Her words froze in her chest when his expression suddenly changed.
His smile was tight and his eyes sparkled with well controlled anger. He straightened his spine and sighed.
“Please have a seat, Marie. You don’t have to be afraid of me, I won’t hurt you.”
She sat carefully and allowed him to push her chair in for her. When he returned to the seat adjacent to her a maid brought in the first course.
Marie had no idea what it was but it smelled fantastic. The sauce was thick and coated what looked like potatoes and maybe cubed chicken. She moved the pieces around subtly and tried to look as though she was coating the morsels with sauce instead of trying to work up the courage to take a bite.
“It’s called Kabish.” He smiled. “At least that’s what I’ve always been told. Honestly, I don’t think it has a name but it’s one of my favorites. The cook always made it for me when I was a child and he knew I didn’t care for whatever my mother had put on the menu. My parents never cared for it and at some point they forbade him to make it anymore. So, I only get it when they are away.”
“What’s in it?”
Jake pushed the pieces around his plate and studied it. “I don’t know. I never asked. But what I do know is it tastes heavenly compared to the God awful cuisine my mother preferred.”
Marie smiled in spite of herself and took a small bite. He was right, it was delicious.
Jake sipped his wine. “I’m sorry Jensen denied your request to dine in your room. He always has been a stickler for the rules.”
She froze. It never occurred to her that Jensen would tell him. She was uncomfortable enough in Jake’s home, the last thing she wanted to do was make him angry.
“I’m sorry, Jake. I’m just tired and I thought it would be best if I stayed in my room.”
“He’s also the biggest tattle tale I know.” He winked at her. “I should have insisted he bring your dinner to you, but Jensen always snitched on me as a child so I learned to obey him as I did my mother and father. I have found that in this house I am forever a little boy. That is why I don’t come here much when they are home.”
She tried to imagine what it must have been like for him growing up and decided he couldn’t have had much of a childhood. She had thrown hers away because she was too serious. But Jake had been denied a childhood because of privilege.
A few minutes of an uncomfortable silence fell between them. She stared at her food as she pushed it around her plate, her appetite had vanished. She felt
the heavy weight of his stare and opened her mouth to speak.
“Jake. I just—”
“Marie.” He stared into her eyes for a minute then dropped his gaze to the table. “Marie, I want to say something to you.” He paused. “I’m sorry for the way I’ve acted toward you the past two years. I had no right to treat you with such disrespect.”
She was stunned. She never imagined he would be sorry for the way he had treated her, let alone feel the need to apologize. Jake did whatever he wanted with no regard for anyone else.
“It’s alright, Jake. It doesn’t matter anymore.”
“No. It’s not alright. And, yes. It does matter. I need you to understand what happened that night.”
“I know what happened. I was there.”
She hated the thought of what she’d done with him, how she’d responded to his touch. It sickened her to think she’d given him such liberties. Since then she’d learned to hate him for what he’d done, for his lack of caring for her, his lack of emotion, his lack of a heart. And now he wanted to explain his actions? She didn’t want to hear it, to understand how he felt. The thought that he might have cared was something she didn’t want to consider. It was easier to hate him.
“I know.” His voice was gentle. “I want you to understand my actions that night.” He paused for a moment. “I made a mistake with you, Marie.”
He shifted in his seat and continued.
“After I took you home I was sure I had ruined any chance with you. So, I decided I needed to forget you and move on.” He dropped his gaze to the table and straightened his fork. “Then I saw you later at Parillo’s.”
He locked his gaze with hers.
“The pain in your eyes was brief before the hatred set in, but I saw it. I realized then that I could have made things right if I’d had the courage to apologize. But at that moment, when I walked in with…” He smiled weakly. “Good lord, I can’t even remember her name. Anyway, I knew then it was over, that my last chance was gone. I doubt you believe me, but it killed me to see that look in your eyes. I hope someday you can forgive me.”