by Baer, Susan
She squared her shoulders.
“What do you want me to say? That I understand?”
Jake dropped his gaze and she continued.
“Well I don’t. I’m not like you, Jake. I can’t sleep around with complete disregard for my feelings. When I give myself to someone it’s because I feel something for him and I think he feels something for me. I have respect for him. But you don’t respect anyone. Women are just toys to you, things to use for your amusement and toss away when you’re finished playing.”
She stood and paced to the fireplace. She needed the safety of distance. Only then would she have the strength to tell him what she had always wanted to say.
“I thought you wanted me, that you wanted to get to know me.” She turned to him. “You came to me, Jake. I didn’t go to you. You made me think I meant more to you than the women who were always throwing themselves at you. I thought you cared about me, but I was nothing more than another notch in your belt.”
Jake sat in silence and watched her walk slowly back to her chair. She stood behind it and held onto the high back like a shield.
She said, “When you walked away from those beautiful women and came to me I felt special. Like I had something they didn’t, something you wanted…But you had no interest in a relationship with me. You just wanted another toy. I wanted someone who cared.”
She took a careful deep breath. Her anger had given her courage but she was still in the enemy’s camp with no way out that she could see. She couldn’t afford to push him too far.
“I didn’t know you felt that way.”
“Every time you came to me since then you made me regret…everything.” She paused. “I don’t want a one night stand, Jake. I never did. I want a man who will care about me, a man who will respect me.”
She blew out a heavy sigh. It felt good to finally tell him how she felt, but she hated admitting that she had cared for him. At least it didn’t hurt anymore, and even if it did she wouldn’t feel it through the anger she felt each time she thought about that night. The way he had taken her home and dismissed her as nothing more than used goods, and his constant harassment since then, always made her wish she’d been strong enough to tell him off.
She looked at him and realized the only thing she felt for him now was disdain and pity. How sad that he only knew how to hurt people instead of love them.
“I’m sorry, Marie. I never realized how much I’d hurt you, how much I continued to hurt you. I—”
“It doesn’t hurt anymore, Jake. It makes me angry when you treat me the way you do. I deserve better than that.”
“You’re right. You do deserve better.” He reached forward and caressed the stem of his wine glass and watched his fingers as they glided over the etched crystal. “I can repair the damage I’ve done, Marie.” He looked up at her. “I can give you anything you could ever want. All you have to do is tell me what it is, and it’s yours.”
“You can’t give me what I want, Jake, because I don’t want it from you.”
“You want to stop hurting, don’t you? I can help you forget about Warren.” He put up his hand to halt her protest. “I’m not talking about sex. I’m talking about companionship, and maybe someday…friendship.”
“I can’t have what I want, too much has changed. I need time to figure out where to go from here…I can accept your apology. I can forgive you for what you did, but I can’t offer you more than that.”
“Thank you, Marie. That’s more than I deserve.” He stood and stepped to her then offered his hand. “Please, sit down, I don’t want to fight. Let’s have a nice dinner together.” A gentle smile lit up his eyes. “I don’t like to eat alone.”
She took his hand and sat back down, surprised to realize she was feeling better. When the next course was brought to them the aroma rekindled her appetite. He poured himself another glass of wine and ordered fresh lemonade for her. She expected him to pour her a glass of the wine and was relieved when she didn’t have to create an excuse to avoid the alcohol. The less Jake knew about her situation the better.
The rest of the conversation during dinner was lighthearted. He told her about his life growing up with parents who were always away and she realized she couldn’t deny her child the chance to know its father. Jake minimized and even joked about the strained relationship he had with his parents, but she couldn’t help the pity she felt for him. Whether or not Warren wanted to be a part of their lives she owed it to their child to try.
****
Marie returned to her guestroom when Jake left the house. He said he had business to take care of and that he’d see her when he got back. She was hoping to be asleep by then.
Dinner with Jake had gone better than she’d expected but he wanted more from her than she wanted to give. He wanted to be friends and if things had been different between them she might have been interested.
Marie had had a lot of time alone since she’d arrived at the mansion and it didn’t take her long to realize how much she loved Warren. And rehashing the past with Jake made her look at her situation from a different perspective.
She had been as unfair to Warren as Jake had been to her two years ago. She should have talked to Warren and given him the chance to decide what he wanted. He might have changed his mind about wanting the baby if he knew she was pregnant. After all, she didn’t want a child at this point in her life either. But given the time to think about her situation, their situation, she had changed her mind and decided it was meant to be.
Guilt washed over her. Warren deserved so much better. He deserved to know he was going to have a child and he deserved to know how much she loved him. Regardless of how he felt in the end, he deserved to know the truth.
She needed to talk to Warren but her cell phone was AWOL. She’d checked her purse and the bags she’d packed at least a dozen times. She knew she hadn’t left it at home because she’d sent Janet a text message from the car on the way to Jake’s. She’d told her she would call when she got to where she was going. But last night she was in a hurry to get to sleep before Jake came home and she forgot to make the call. Marie needed to talk to Janet. She needed a pep talk before she called Warren.
She sighed. She could imagine what Janet was going to say.
‘You’re at Jake’s? What the hell are you doing there?’
She had wondered that herself more than once since she’d arrived last night. When she agreed to go with him she assumed he was going to set her up at a hotel and help her leave town in the morning. Instead he brought her to his parent’s home.
She shouldn’t have opened her door but she never thought Jake would force his way in. She should have waited for Janet to get off work. Janet would have let her stay at her place, but she was so desperate to run away from everything, she had let Jake talk her into going with him.
Her frustration grew and she started looking under the furniture and in the dresser drawers. She hadn’t unpacked and everything she’d used to get ready for dinner was still on the bed.
Maybe it was for the best. She should wait and tell Warren about the baby in person. He deserved that much from her. But a part of her was afraid to face him. If Jake was right and he decided to screw with her mind she wouldn’t stand a chance. He’d have her on her back for one last screw before he left her crying in a pathetic heap.
“Stop it, Marie! Stop listening to Jake. He’s the one with the agenda, not Warren. Warren loves you.”
Her head was spinning, her heart was aching and she felt trapped. Jake was gone and she was stuck at his parent’s home on the outskirts of town. Without a car or her phone she had no way to get home, no way to get anywhere.
It suddenly occurred to her that her only contact with the outside world was Jake. She fought the terrible uneasiness that began to suffocate her. Jake brought her here for a reason. He said he was taking her to a place where no one would find her. But he failed to mention it was a place she couldn’t escape without his help. He was planning to use her
for something and somehow she doubted it was going to be pleasant for her in the end.
She needed to call Warren. He would come for her. Whether or not it was over between them she knew he wouldn’t leave her at the mercy of Jake. Then she could talk to him in person.
She decided to retrace her steps through the house. Her phone had to be somewhere in this castle. She headed toward the stairway and nearly flattened Jensen when he exited one of the rooms at the top of the stairs.
“Good evening, Miss Adams. Is there something wrong? You look a bit distressed.”
“Actually, Mr…uh…Jensen, there is. I can’t find my cell phone and I need to make a call. It’s very important. Has anyone found a cell phone in the house?” She fidgeted nervously.
“I don’t believe so, Miss Adams, but I can direct you to a house phone that you are most welcome to use.”
He didn’t wait for an answer but turned and headed down the stairs. He led her to the end of the hall and through the doors to the den.
It was chilly without the fire lit and she rubbed her arms to try to warm herself. She followed him to a large oak desk at the end of the room.
“You may use this phone here.” He turned to her and pointed to a phone on the end of the desk. “Since it is not cordless I will leave you momentarily to afford you a modicum of privacy.”
He walked to the fireplace. His gate was confident and full of purpose. She envied him. She would give anything to be that sure of herself.
When the fire was burning he rose silently and turned to leave. He opened the door and turned to her once more.
“Would you care for something to drink, Miss Adams?”
“Uh…no, thank you…that will be all.”
Geez, she sounded like such a snob but she wasn’t sure what to say. She’d never had servants. She watched him bow his head to her and disappear behind the door.
She picked up the phone and stared at it. She had no idea what she was going to say to him. The last time she had spoken to him, she had shut him out. But anything was better than nothing. She took a deep breath and started to dial his number.
****
Warren sat with AJ in silence despite the roaring crowd around them. Parillo’s was packed tonight and it only intensified his bad mood. They had been to Marie’s apartment several times and the few places AJ had thought she might be. They had run out of ideas and were waiting to hear from Janet. Hopefully she’d had better luck. His phone vibrated against his hand.
“Dr. Jackson.”
“Dear, God. Are they giving away free drinks in here?” Janet asked. “Where are you? I can’t see more than two people in front of me.”
“We’re in the back by the pool tables.” Warren hung up the phone and slammed it on the polished wood. He was quickly running out of patience.
A minute later Janet squeezed through the crowd and plopped into the chair across from Warren.
“Nice to see you too, jerk!”
“Sorry, Jan, I’m just tired.”
Warren ran his hands through his hair and slumped back against his chair. He felt powerless and he hated it. He needed to know what was going on in Marie’s head. If she thought he didn’t want their child she might never come back to him. And if she thought she couldn’t take care of it on her own, would she come to him and ask for help or would she try to find someone else? Just the thought made his blood boil. He’d be damned if he was going to let another man claim Marie or his child.
In the hours since she had walked away from him all he could think about was how much he couldn’t live without her. He still didn’t know how he felt about being a father, but he knew they would figure it out together.
Thinking about having a baby made his palms sweat with nervous anticipation. It was exciting and terrifying at the same time. He’d started to imagine the life he and Marie could build together, a life that would include their child. Despite his fears he would never abandon his child and he certainly would never abandon Marie. He needed to tell her that, he needed to convince her he would always be there for her.
But what if she didn’t believe him? What if he couldn’t convince her he wanted the baby? Would she shut him out of her life? Losing the child he’d already created with her would tear him apart, but losing her would be fatal.
He had no intention of letting that happen. At the very least, the baby would give him something to connect him to her, a part of her that would always belong to him. And that was the lifeline that kept him going.
“Warren, we’ll find her. Lincoln isn’t that big. You just have to be patient.” Janet scanned the crowd. “I called her mom and she hasn’t heard from her so I doubt she’s left town. She doesn’t have anywhere else to go as far as I know.”
“Great! That means she’s either kidnapped or dead because she’s not at home either.”
AJ groaned. “Warren, she’s too smart for those scenarios. I know she was upset but she is certainly capable of taking care of herself.”
“Lose a bet, Jackson, or did someone piss in your sandbox?” Jake appeared out of the crowd next to AJ and focused his glare on Warren.
“Fuck off, Winston.” Warren sat perfectly still.
Jake stepped closer to Warren. “Where’s your pretty little fuck toy? Are you tired of her already?”
Warren leapt for Jake with murder in his eyes and AJ stepped between them.
“Warren, think. You can’t do this right now.”
Jake locked eyes with Warren, pure arrogance twisting his features. “Or maybe she got tired of you. Rumor has it she left you.”
Warren’s thoughts came to a crashing halt. How the hell did Jake know she’d walked out on him?
“You bastard! Where is she?” Warren’s body vibrated with rage as he waited for his chance to get a clean shot at Jake.
“Where’s who? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
AJ turned toward Jake. “Tell us where she is, Jake, or I won’t pull him off you this time.”
Janet stood slowly. “Jake, please. We need to find her. It’s important.”
“Why Janet, I never knew you could be so polite. How refreshing.” Jake surveyed the three of them and smirked.
“I wish I could help you,” Jake said. “I truly do. But, I am afraid I don’t know her whereabouts at the moment. She’s never been very fond of me so I doubt she would ever come to me for help. Wouldn’t you agree, Janet?” He looked back at Warren. “If you find her, tell her I said hello.” He stepped back and disappeared into the crowd.
“He knows where she is and I’m going to beat it out of him.” Warren clenched his fists and looked at AJ.
“Warren, he’s not going to tell you anything. I agree he knows something but we’ll just have to figure this out without him.”
Warren took a deep breath and sat down. He covered his face in his hands and leaned his head back. He knew he had to keep a cool head but his desperation to find her was growing beyond his control. He needed to know Marie was okay, especially now that he suspected Jake was involved.
AJ sat back down and sighed. “We need to think about the least likely place she would have gone. From what you said about your last conversation with her, Warren, I assume she doesn’t want to be found right now.” AJ turned to Janet. “You probably know her better than we do, Jan. Where would she go that she thinks no one would look to find her?”
“I don’t know. I’ve been asking myself that all day. The only thing I do know for sure is she would never go to Jake for help. She would have to be beyond desperate to trust him.”
AJ raised his eyebrows and looked at Warren.
“Did she seem beyond desperate when she walked out of your office?”
“I’ll kill that bastard!”
“I’ll take that as a yes.”
Warren shot out of his chair and AJ grabbed his arm before he could move away from the table.
“Wait a minute, Warren. First of all we need to find Marie. You can kill him later.” He sto
od and pulled his jacket on. “Second, I am not letting you go alone.”
Warren pulled his keys from his pocket and looked at Janet. “Do you know where he lives? She isn’t with him so she’s got to be there.”
“I do. He’s been staying at his parent’s home since they went to Europe last summer. He moved out of his penthouse when he sold it last year and he’s been looking for a house for about the last three months.”
Janet reached for her phone when it started ringing. She looked at the caller ID and whispered, “Frank Winston?” She spoke to no one in particular. “What’s Jake’s father’s name? Is it Frank?”
She didn’t wait for an answer. “Becker Realty, this is Janet.”
‘Jan, you have to help me.’
“Marie, honey, where the hell are you? We’ve been worried sick. Are you okay?” Janet looked up when Warren reached across the table.
“Let me talk to her.” Warren’s heart was racing. “Where is she?”
Janet covered her phone with her hand and whispered, “The caller ID said Frank Winston. She’s at his parent’s mansion. Go!”
“Tell her to stay there, I’m on my way.” Warren swallowed hard and followed AJ through the crowd.
His heart raced with excitement and fear. He had to get there before she took off again. He had to hold her and kiss her. He had to tell her how much he loved her. But most of all, he had to find a way to stop her pain.
Jake turned when he heard a crowd of people cursing and saw AJ and Warren cut a path through the crowd toward the door. A moment later Janet followed them, talking on her cell phone.
“Damn it,” he whispered. “He showed her the landline. The old man never could mind his own business.”
He ignored the questions from his entourage and cut his own path through the crowd. He had to get home before they got to her. He wasn’t about to let her get away again.
Chapter 22
Marie looked at the keypad on the phone and realized she didn’t know Warren’s number. He had added it to her contacts for her and she’d never had to dial it. She smiled. He had also downloaded a special ringtone for his number. His choice guaranteed she’d always answer because the song was so risqué she never dared to let it ring for more than a second.