Pretty Dirty Trick

by Tabatha Kiss

  “Hell, no,” he says with a laugh.

  “This is different.”

  “Way different.”

  “I mean, I might be…” I pause, surprised with how naturally all of this feels to say out loud. “I think I’m falling for her, Thad.”

  He looks at me and nods. “So am I.”

  I exhale the air from my lungs. “Would you do that?” I ask. “Share Phoebe with me?”

  “Would you?”

  We make firm eye contact again.

  “Same time,” I say. “Count of three. One. Two. Three.”

  “Yes,” we say in unison.

  “Hmm…” He hums with squinting eyes. “Interesting.”

  “Obviously,” I gesture to myself, “I would be her main boyfriend and you’d be the side guy.”

  He sets his bottle down hard on the table. “Excuse me?”

  “You spend half of your time in the air,” I say. “I live and work in LA. So does she.”

  “For now,” he points out. “She’s up for that promotion and if she gets it, she’ll live and work in New York. I spend more time there than you do.”

  My chest clenches. “She told you about that?”

  “Of course, she did. Look, man, if this is happening, it’s gotta be equal. Fifty-fifty. No secrets. We never kept them from each other before, no reason to start now. No petty jealousies. And none of that side guy bullshit. It’s boyfriend and boyfriend, or co-boyfriends. Not boyfriend one and boyfriend two.”

  “Okay but what if we’re wrong and she doesn’t want to do this at all?” I ask.

  “Then…” Thad smiles. “We convince her.”

  I sit back in my seat and furrow my brow so hard I can barely see.

  Can I really do this? Share a woman with my best friend? Spend time with her, connect with her, make love to her… only to pass her back? And vice versa. Can I invite her into my bed knowing that she might smell like another man?

  That night we all spent together flashes in my head. Thad and I taking turns. Phoebe accepting us both, giving us equal attention as we took care of her.

  Can I really do this?

  Yes. I can. I absolutely can.

  I glance at Thad again and we both nod.

  This is wrong, isn’t it?

  Why does it feel so right?

  Twenty-Five

  Phoebe

  I raise my glass to take another sip of wine, quickly realizing that it’s already empty. My breath fogs up the bottom as I heave a frustrated sigh.

  If I set the books during the Renaissance instead and make the vampires into werewolves while cutting out the love triangle…

  It’ll still suck.

  Not even Robert McKee could fix this story.

  I slump off the couch, clenching my empty wineglass in my fingers as I make my way toward my fridge in the kitchenette.

  I should just give up. Bye bye, promotion. See ya, New York City. If my entire career is coming down to making the boss’ son-in-law’s ego project soar, then I guess I have no one to blame but myself. I should have been born into a rich family. That’s where I went wrong.

  I grab my wine bottle and kick the fridge closed.

  Three soft knocks echo through my loft, evenly spaced out to really get my attention.

  I glance at the clock on the stove. Just after nine. My lips twitch. I can only think of one person who would show up at my door this late… and he won’t care that I’m wearing nothing but shorts and an old tank top.

  I tiptoe to the door, wanting to look through the peephole first.

  “Phoebe, you there?”

  I halt so fast I nearly trip over my ankles. “Max?”

  “Hey,” he says. “Open up. We need to talk to you.”

  My guts churn. “We?”

  “Yeah. We.”

  That was Thad. Oh, god…

  They know.

  I rush forward to look through the peephole, accidentally slamming my forehead against the door with a loud smack.

  “Ouch!” I wince, rubbing the fresh bruise taking shape beneath my skin.

  “Pheebs…” Thad says. “You okay?”

  “I’m fine.”

  “Then, open the door.”

  I slink over to peek through.

  Yep. Both of them. Max and Thad. Standing out in my hallway with sour looks on their faces but maybe I’m getting ahead of myself here.

  “What, uh…” I bite my cheek. “What’s up, guys? Been a long time…”

  Max tilts his head, focusing on the peephole. “Phoebe, we all know that’s not true. We need to talk.”

  “Uh-huh. About what?”

  They look at each other.

  “You know what.”

  Fuck.

  I turn my lock slowly, leaving the chain in place as I twist the knob. My heart melts as I look at the two of them again; both handsome faces staring down at me. My Max and my Thad. Not anymore, I guess…

  “Okay…” My voice rises a pitch or two. “How about you tell me what you think you know and I’ll tell you what’s true…”

  “Pheebs, come on.” Thad laughs. “We know you’ve been dating both of us.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I say a little too loudly.

  He stares me down. “I know he fucked you on the table.”

  “Yeah,” Max says, nodding. “And I know he tied you up and—”

  “Okay, fine!” I say, my heart breaking. “I’m a filthy, lying, cheating harlot! It was wrong. I’m sorry. I won’t do it again. Just leave me alone to die.”

  I slam the door, quickly closing it before they can bolt forward and block it.

  “Phoebe!” Max says. “Come on. No one thinks you’re a liar, okay?”

  “We’re actually really cool with it,” Thad adds.

  I pause for several long seconds.

  Cool with it? They’re cool with it?

  I pull open the door again to look into their faces. Amused, yet not at all angry.

  “You’re cool with it?” I parrot back.

  Max nods. “Would you please open the door so we can talk?”

  I raise a brow, studying them both as I slowly close the door again. This time, I slide the chain free and open it wide as they both breathe light sighs of relief.

  “I’m listening,” I say.

  They walk in, towering over me like giant cathedral walls. Fight or flight kicks in and I almost bolt right out the door. Who am I kidding? They’d probably catch up to me in two seconds, pull me over their shoulders, and carry me back in here. Actually… that might be kind of hot…

  I chicken out of it and shut the door.

  They stand beside each other in the middle of the room with arms crossed. I haven’t seen them this close since the reunion. It doesn’t feel that way, though… It almost feels like they’ve always been standing side-by-side, taking turns…

  “So…” I clear my throat. “How did you guys find out?”

  Thad feigns a look of disgust. “Mustard.”

  I blink. “What?”

  He points over his shoulder into my kitchen. “On the plate. I saw it before I left the other morning. He’s the only asshole I know that dips his steak in it.”

  “Hey…” Max says. “Let’s keep this respectful.”

  Thad shakes his head at me. “Please tell me you thought that was gross. Be honest.”

  I hesitate as they stare. “Well…”

  “I found his tie,” Max says, changing the subject. “On your bedpost. He’s the only douche I know who thinks that thing looks fashionable.”

  “Hey…” Thad turns in his direction. “You’re the one who wanted to borrow it.”

  “Yeah, I lied.”

  I tilt my head. “Guys…” They focus back on me. “Mustard and a tie?”

  They nod.

  “Damn,” I mutter. “I really missed my calling as a criminal mastermind, didn’t I?”

  Thad smiles.

  Max takes a step closer. “It doesn’t matter ho
w we found out, Phoebe. The truth is we should have told each other from the beginning but we didn’t.”

  I pause. “Why didn’t you tell each other?”

  They share a quick glance.

  Thad shrugs. “You’re Phoebe Pink,” he says.

  My guts churn. “So?”

  “So…” He moves forward. “We never expected…”

  “Me?” I ask.

  “Yeah.”

  “What’s wrong with me?”

  “Nothing,” Max answers.

  “We’re you guys ashamed of me or something?”

  “No!” they say together.

  “Pheebs, that’s not what this is about,” Thad says.

  “Then, what is it about?”

  He sighs. “I have my foot in my mouth again, don’t I?”

  I nod, holding back a smile. “Little bit.”

  Max steps closer. “Phoebe, remember how I told you that I didn’t want to jinx us?”

  “Yeah,” I answer.

  “Well, neither did he.” He studies my face. “You’re more amazing than either of us were prepared for and it shook us both.”

  I feel the heat rushing my cheeks. “You were shook?”

  He smiles. “Yeah. Still am.”

  “Well… when you put it like that.”

  “But…” Thad tilts his head, “we also know that only one of us can have you and neither of us want to give you up, so…”

  They look at me, standing shoulder-to-shoulder with eager, expectant eyes.

  I lean back an inch. “So?”

  “It’s up to you, Pheebs,” Thad says. “We’ll do what you want.”

  Ah, jeez.

  This again. Choose, Phoebe. Two paths, both equally as wonderful. Choose, Phoebe. Go with Max. He’s the one you’ve wanted since you were a kid. Choose, Phoebe. Take Thad. There will never be a dull moment with him for the rest of your life.

  Choose, Phoebe.

  “I can’t,” I whisper.

  Max arches a brow. “What was that?” he asks.

  “I can’t!”

  “Can’t what?”

  “I can’t choose!” I say. “I can’t! You’re both so perfect but I don’t deserve you. Either of you. I can’t… I can’t choose. I—”

  Max pulls me in, stealing a hard kiss from me and my voice dies in my throat.

  “Phoebe,” he says, keeping his hands on my face.

  “What?” I ask.

  “That…” he smiles, “was the correct answer.”

  I furrow my brow with confusion as Thad reaches out to touch me. He draws my hair back and leans in to kiss the right side of my neck from behind. Max steps forward, leaning to my left and I feel his lips nibbling at me, too.

  Two pairs of hands roam my body, from my breasts to my hips and my ass. I can’t keep track as my pulse pounds in my ears.

  “Wait— wait…” I say, barely breathing. “What?”

  Max feels up my body to cup my face. “I want you, Phoebe.”

  “I want you, too,” Thad says in my ear.

  I stiffen as Thad reaches into my shorts to cup my ass. “Okay, so…”

  Max kisses me again, silencing my tongue as he feels my breasts through my top. “We want you,” he says, growling between my lips.

  “Together?” I ask.

  Thad bites into my neck, making me tremble. “As it should have been,” he says. “From the start.”

  “So…” My head spins, drunk on them and wine. “We’re all cool, then?”

  Max takes a quick step back, his eyes shifting toward Thad over my shoulder. “Well… maybe not yet.”

  Thad’s hands drop from my hips as he takes a wide step around to stand beside Max. “Yeah, come to think…” he says, smirking to one side. “You did admit to being a filthy, lying cheat.”

  “Filthy, lying, cheating harlot,” Max corrects.

  “Right,” Thad says with a nod. “Harlot. Good word.”

  I grow nervous as I look between them. “Okay, yeah. I did.”

  They both take a slow step closer to me, making me flinch but I have nothing to be scared of. Right? They won’t hurt me… right?

  “You’re not going to murder me, are you?” I ask.

  They laugh.

  I cringe. “Okay, that’s not at all comforting.”

  “Relax, Phoebe.” Max rests a hand on my shoulder. “Take a seat.”

  My ankle catches the edge of my bed and I topple down to sit. They tower over me, staring with lust still lingering in their dark eyes. I look straight ahead, focusing on their bodies, as Max’s hand moves to rest on the back of my head.

  Thad reaches for his belt. “Open your mouth, Phoebe.”

  I tremble as they both grip their zippers. “Oh…” I say, feeling the saliva build in my mouth. “You want me to…”

  They nod.

  “And then… we’re cool?” I ask.

  Thad leans over me. “Pheebs…”

  “What?”

  “You talk too much.”

  My smile spreads along my face as he kisses me. I grip his belt in silence, my eager tongue tapping on the roof of my mouth. As I slide his boxers downward to free him, I reach for Max with my left hand to do the same.

  My god. Am I really doing this again? Max and Thad and me? My heart skips as I look up into their eyes. Their cocks grow hard in my palms. They each lay a hand on the sides of my head, fingers twitching with need. They wait. Wait for me to choose which one goes first.

  I turn my cheek to the left and lick my lips for Max. His tip is already coated with pre-cum as I slide him into my mouth. He tastes so sweet. My tongue leaps to lick and massage him as I suck it softly.

  But I don’t neglect my Thad. I peek up at him and he caresses my concave cheek as I stroke him, coaxing his shaft to twitch in my hand. He smiles, not an ounce of impatience in his eyes. He’ll get his turn and he knows it.

  Max lets out a low, aching gasp above me. I flick my eyes upward as I take him in a little deeper. His tip grazes the back of my throat and I feel the blood rushing through his shaft as he groans for more.

  I pull him out and turn to Thad. He takes in a sharp inhale the second my tongue touches his skin. He laughs and grips the hair on my head with strong fingers. I bob back and forth, triggering his hips to move and he fucks my mouth with careful, shallow pumps.

  I switch to Max, passion driving me back to him. He does the same as Thad, thrusting in and out while my sex fills with heat. They take turns owning my mouth, making my lips numb, but I can’t stop pleasing them. I alter my technique for both of them. Max prefers a slow, firm massage with the tongue while Thad likes it deep, hard, and fast. I love pleasing them. Both of them. I’ll do whatever that takes.

  One of them gives me a gentle push onto my back. I fall to the bed and Max drops to his knees in front of me. While he pulls down my shorts, Thad draws my top over my head.

  They lie me down. Four hands roam my body. Twenty strong fingers caress my naked skin. It’s hard to tell what sensation comes from where. I can hardly catch my breath.

  Max throws my legs over his shoulders and buries his face between my thighs. I gasp as his tongue touches my clit. It throbs with blood, pulsing pleasure up my spine with every perfect lap and suck.

  I moan with a wide-open mouth, arching my back as I lose more control of my own body. Thad towers above my head, his hand stroking his cock. I motion him closer and he sticks it back into my mouth. I suck him hard, reacting to Max’s talented tongue as he effortlessly brings an orgasm out of me.

  I scream around Thad’s thrusting cock, bending and aching for more of them. I don’t care who might hear us. I can’t bring myself to hold back even a little bit.

  Max stands and pulls me off the bed. I let Thad slip out of my mouth as Max spins us around. He lies on his back and I straddle him, positioning myself above his begging erection. We guide it inside of me and I sigh, feeling Thad’s hands on me from behind. He tilts my head back as Max thrusts upward, giving a firm kiss. He
holds me up and I sway my hips as Max fucks me harder.

  Max cups my breasts with both hands, squeezing and kneading me.

  Thad lays a hand on my throat. “I love watching him fuck you,” he whispers in my ear. “Do you like me watching?”

  “Yes.”

  He kisses my neck and I shiver. “Phoebe…” he growls with need, “do you trust me?”

  I quiver in his arms, hurtling toward climax with every low note of his voice.

  “Yes.”

  He turns my head to kiss me again. “Lean forward.”

  I do as he says. I bend down, balancing on my arms above Max. I look into his green eyes, feeling his soft touch on my body as we grind together. He stares over my shoulder at Thad and nods before taking hold of me and pulling out.

  Thad leans in and takes me from behind, filling me with hard and fast thrusts. My jaw drops and Max pulls me down to kiss me. I feel an open palm rest on my ass and I smile, knowing what Thad is about to do next.

  He spanks me once. Hard. I jolt in Max’s embrace, squirming in his arms as passion takes an even greater hold of me.

  Thad pulls out, letting Max right back in.

  “Oh, fuck…” I tremble, feeling the tension mounting in my core. The two of them, fucking me like this. It’s pure ecstasy.

  Thad spanks me again as Max brings me down. I come between them, bending to their will like a slave. I moan for them. Beg for them. I say both of their names over and over again. I can’t stop…

  I feel a strong, loving hand on my back. A soft and calming touch as Thad rests his tip on my asshole. My breath catches with surprise but I don’t tense up. I want it so badly. To feel them both in me at the same time. Christ, I think of what my body might do and I twist with anticipation inside.

  Max holds my stare, keeping me still and calm. He slows his thrust and Thad takes control. I feel his cock pushing into my ass and my body reacts to sudden pressure, blending in with the pleasure inside. Max reaches between us and lays his hand on my throbbing clit. He rubs me slowly, triggering a deeper pleasure as Thad works my asshole open. It’s not long until I feel them both all the way in. They work together, getting in-sync, fucking me slowly at the same time. Thad’s rough touch behind me. Max’s tender kiss before me. My senses shut down, overloaded as new pleasures take me over. I stop breathing. I submit to my boys and my body obeys them.