by Lark Maren
“This is it,” I said pulling into the gravel parking lot. “I know it doesn’t look like much on the outside.”
“It’s bigger than a football field!” Savannah quipped. “Looks like a lot to me.”
“It needs a lot of work from what I could see earlier today. The power wasn’t turned on yet, though. Might be worse than I suspected.”
Lucy hopped out of her car, an armful of pizzas in tote, and I tapped on the window of the back door, trying to get Ella’s attention. She ran to the door, her face sweaty and her hands covered in paint. I couldn’t contain my urge to kiss her. She looked hot all frazzled like that, her hair tucked back in a messy bun. She squealed in delight, kissing me back, but pulled away quickly, her eyes wide as the rest of the team pushed their way through the door.
“Damn,” Laurie shouted. She whistled while she looked around the building. Damn was about the only word I could muster up myself. With the lights officially on, the place looked nothing like I’d imagined it. The smell of fresh paint in the air, everything was purple and gold, our team colors, and on the wall that faced the entryway was a logo that stretched from pillar to pillar. It wasn’t our old logo, but it was certainly a better one.
“I did that,” Areal said, slapping my hand away as I thoughtlessly reached out to touch it. “Do you like it? If you don’t like it, I can show you some other mock ups.”
“Oh my God, I love it,” I assured her. It was better than anything I could’ve come up with. Professional and sleek, it was perfect for our attempt to rebrand the team as something more than a ragtag team of women beating each other up on a football field.
“You’ve got a very talented sister,” a voice from behind me said. I turned to look at the woman and had to do a double take. She was very petite, probably not even five feet tall, her hair so gray it was white. The shape of her face and the sound of her voice was all too familiar, though. “You should be very proud. She’s really going places.”
Her smile stretched from ear to ear and she reached out to hug me, like she’d known me my whole life. I locked eyes with Ella from across the room and she came sprinting over, a nervous grin on her face. “Mom, she doesn’t like being snuck up on,” she said with a laugh.
“Well, this is an interesting turn of events,” I said with a chuckle, for lack of a better option. This whole situation was overwhelming, the new team office, the new logo, my new life all coming together, and now I had a new person here who I never thought I would see.
“You’re even prettier than I imagined,” she said, holding me by the shoulders, studying my face.
“Mom!” Ella shouted in embarrassment. “Can you not?”
I felt the blush taking over my entire body. I had never been formally introduced to a woman’s parents before, but the way this woman was fawning over me, it was as if I was some sort of prized catch. She must not know much about me. That, or she’d lost her damn mind, coming back to town after what she and her husband were going through. Maybe this was just a bout of temporary insanity.
“I probably smell like a bag of hot dog water,” I said, sniffing at my armpit. Real smooth, Tonya. I didn’t know why this woman was making me so nervous. As far as I knew, she was just as ridiculous as my mother. The only difference was, my mom was always clear about her affinity for abandoning us.
“You look like you had a hard practice. Ella tells me you’re a cornerback?” I smiled and shrugged and Ella was hunched over like she wanted to melt into the floor. “I don’t know how much you know about me, but I will tell you one thing. I’m glad I get to be here for this.” She looked reached for Ella’s hand. “When I got the news Ella wasn’t coming with us, it broke my heart. I was so proud of her for making a hard decision. It made me realize I raised her right. Now, being here, meeting you and your sister, I realized I couldn’t take all the credit. I don’t know what kind of fire you lit under my daughter, but I couldn’t be more thankful.”
“Come on. I want to show you everything we got done so far,” Ella said. She wrapped her arm around my shoulder and walked me away from her mother. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I should’ve given you a heads up.”
“Why?” I asked. “It’s fine.”
Under the bright lights, the gym equipment looked even newer and better than I had imagined. My teammates were already test driving the treadmills and beating on punching bags, running around like kids in a candy store. I didn’t have to ask them if they liked the new place.
“I thought maybe the reason you were willing to be with me was because I was finally independent. I know how you feel about my family and their crimes.”
“Listen babe,” I said, sitting on the edge of a weight bench. “I don’t know why this isn’t obvious to you, but wanting to be with you has nothing to do with your family. Never has.” I pulled her onto my lap and hugged her soft body to mine and she squealed with laughter, her eyes darting around the room. “Don’t worry about them.” I cupped her chin in my hand, holding her face inches from mine. “I don’t give a fuck what they have to say.”
I kissed her lips, smoothing my fingers through her hair. “Neither one of us will ever be truly independent,” I said. “I got so much baggage, you haven’t even began to unpack the half of it. Just because your mom is around doesn’t change one single thing about why I care for you, Ella. I want all of you. I don’t care how messy or complicated. I like messy and complicated.”
“Well good,” she said with a contented little smirk, “because getting this place looking nice was the easy part. Tomorrow starts the real work.” She pecked my lips again and jumped up from my lap, clapping her hands to get the attention of everyone. “Tomorrow, we’re going to turn this crazy dream into a reality.” She winked at me as everyone started gathering around us in a circle.
“What do you think, coach Savannah?” Ella asked, pulling our revered coach into the middle of the circle. “Do you think this will work?”
She was blotting tears from her eyes. “You’re going to make me talk? I’m speechless.” She cleared her throat a couple times, staring from the ceiling to the floor as we all waited for her input. “This is the greatest gift I’ve even been given, ladies. Not the building, not the logo, even though this stuff is all very nice. This opportunity to turn my life’s work into something more than just a hokey little footnote in the history of women’s sports, that’s mind-blowing to me. I don’t deserve yinz.”
“You’ve said that before, coach. Except it was that time we all showed up late for practice after Laurie’s bachelorette party and somebody puked on your car,” Lucy teased.
“That was the old Lady Cats,” she said. “No more of that, right?”
“We’ll do our best,” I said with a wink. “Can’t make any promises.” We all sat around as a team and ate pizza, discussing plans for the future. Tomorrow after my day job, Lindsay and I would drive around to local high schools and start doing some hands on research into how we can best serve the community. Areal and Ella’s mom would take her design to a screen printer so we could start getting merchandize onto an online shop and new uniforms that reflected our new professional business structure. Every single woman on the team had some sort of valuable skill that could be used towards making this all happen in time for the season to start. From planning fundraisers to talking to the press, by this time next week, everyone would know the Lady Cats were back with a vengeance, and from this point forward, we would be well known both on and off the field.
And Ella, well, she had it all. She had that magic something beyond all the privileges she was born with. She had a vision. She had hope. She had optimism. She had that touch that turned me from a feral beast into a fierce and confident cougar. She didn’t even have to put me in a cage or bribe me with treats. All she had to do was pet my chin and stand by my side, and I knew we could conquer anything in this world.
As the last person filtered out of the door, I breathed a loud sigh of relief and dead bolted it behind them. The fou
r of us stood there in silence for a moment, just absorbing the chaos of the day.
“What now?” I asked. I wanted a hot shower. I wanted to get out of these nasty gym clothes. I wanted to be alone with Ella, but I didn’t want to appear selfish. After all, Areal and Ella’s mother put more work into this place than I could’ve ever asked of them. Shoving them out the door didn’t seem like a polite thing to do.
“I have homework,” Areal said. “I need to turn it in by midnight. We don’t have wifi here.”
“If you girls don’t mind, she can come stay at my place tonight. I’m not really sure I can face a night by myself in that house. It’ll be nice to have some company,” Ella’s mom said.
I felt a twinge of reluctance in the idea. I just got her back in my life. I didn’t want to pawn her off once again on some random person. She wasn’t some random person, though. As strange as it felt saying it, Ella’s mom was my family now. Some day, hopefully not too far down the road, she might officially be my mother-in-law.
All my hesitation slipped away when Areal batted her eyes and started begging me. For once, I knew letting her do what she wanted to do was the right choice. “Be good,” I said. “No driving. No drinking. If she gets to be too much, call me and I’ll pick her up no questions asked.”
“Sounds like you run a tight ship, Tonya,” she said with a wink. “I promise, she’s in good hands.”
“I know,” I said. “If you managed to raise a woman as decent as Ella, I have complete faith in you.” She hugged me, and this time I didn’t lock out my knees. It felt good to have a motherly figure around, even if she was currently in the throes of a major life change. I was happy to have her along for the ride.
We walked them to the car, and Ella embraced her mother for a solid five minutes before they left. I couldn’t blame her. Just a few short days ago, she had her entire life turned upside down. Finding out she hadn’t in fact lost everything she knew to be true had to be such a relief.
We walked back inside hand in hand and walked around double and triple checking all the doors were locked and the lights were turned out.
“It still needs so much work,” Ella said. “I didn’t even have time to touch the apartment yet.”
“You think I care?” I pulled her in tight to my body and pressed my lips to hers. “I’d spend the night in a dumpster if it meant I’d get to be alone with you.”
She kissed me back, and in that moment I knew no matter what happened in the next few months, everything would be all right. Her and I could accomplish anything together, not just in terms of business and making better lives for ourselves and our families. For us. I’d found my match. My missing piece. The woman I was destined to spend my whole life with. My beloved cupcake.
“No offense, but you smell like you spent the night in a dumpster,” she said with a giggle, turning her nose up at me. “Fortunately, we officially have running water.”
“You’re the one who signed up for my smelly ass,” I said with a wink. “Now you’re stuck with me.”
“Well, you’re stuck with me, too, I’m afraid.” She pulled a box out of the back pocket of her jeans and my eyes grew wide. “If you hate it, I’m sure I can pawn it or something.”
“You’ve been spending way too much time with me lately,” I said, laughing at the thought of Ella Morgan ever having to pawn a piece of jewelry. I really was rubbing off on her. I popped open the box and inside was a necklace with a little charm hanging from it. A silver cupcake with a bright red stone as a cherry on top. “It’s adorable, just like you. You know you didn’t have to do this.”
“It was before…” she said, trailing off. “I’m glad you like it, though. It was almost a fifty thousand dollar handbag.”
“What?” I stammered. “That just sounds insane to me.”
“I knew you’d say that. It was the reason I didn’t buy it to begin with. Guess you really are rubbing off on me.”
“Let me take a shower, and I promise I will definitely rub off on you,” I teased, grabbing her by the hand and heading for the hallway that lead upstairs. I flipped on the light and took a deep breath. This was it. The trip up these stairs was officially the start of our new life together. Our new place. Ella and I.
“I knew I’d wear you down eventually,” she teased, jingling her keys from the ring as she fidgeted with each one in the lock.
“I wasn’t the one who needed worn down. I wanted you in my bed the minute I laid eyes on you.”
“Yeah, well, now it’s our bed,” she said. “And I hope we never have to spend another night apart.”
She flung open the door, and I chased her around our new place, kissing her in every room of the modestly furnished apartment. It wasn’t much, but it was ours. The view of Oakland from the window was exciting, but not as exciting as my vision for our future.
“Now go take a shower,” she said, swatting me on the ass.
“You’re not going to join me?” I asked, raising my eyebrows. “Gotta christen this place, right?”
“I love the way you think,” she said, flipping on the lights in the bathroom.
“Well, I love you,” I replied. It came out so naturally, so organically, I almost didn’t think twice about it. It was true, though, I loved this woman more than anyone, more than anything, and now, she was all mine.
She gasped and slapped her hand over her mouth.
She pointed at me, her eyes growing wide.
“I’m trying not to be weird about this,” she said with a gulp.
“You be as weird as you want,” I said, peeling off her t-shirt. “All the more reason for me to love you.”
26
Epilogue
One Year Later:
Ella:
My mom tapped on the window of my car and I nearly jumped out of my skin. I must’ve dozed off in the stadium parking lot. I had been listening to Tonya’s game streaming on my phone, but somehow I fell asleep. Probably for the better. It wasn’t until I started going to all the practices that I realized how hard these women played. Watching my woman get tossed around a football field like a rag doll just stressed me out. I was proud of her, but we decided early on in the season that there was no reason I should set foot in that stadium during any of her games. Apparently I made her just as nervous. While that was endearing and all, I spend most of her games chewing my fingernails down to nubs and shoving peanut M&Ms in my mouth. Tonya was in the best shape of her life, and I was basically turning into a pinata. It was well worth it, though. Playing made her happy, the team kept us fed and clothed, and running a business with the love of my life kept me satisfied 24/7.
“You should’ve seen her, Ella. She is a freaking tank! They crushed it today!” my mom shouted as I rolled down the window. Apparently my mom was now a huge football fan for the first time in her life. It seemed like our rebrand of the team had that effect on people. We packed stadiums everywhere we went with women of all ages who wanted to support the sport. Sure, we gave out a ton of tickets, especially to high school students, but sales were up tenfold. Everyone in the city wanted to see my woman and her teammates play, and I was bursting with pride. I’d never dated a local celebrity before.
“Is it safe for me to come in now?” I asked. I was bundled up from head to toe in a snowsuit and winter coat, a scarf wrapped around my neck and a beanie in team colors on my head, but I was still freezing my ass off.
“You’re ridiculous,” my mother said with a laugh. “Why don’t you just sit in the box with the rest of us?”
“Cuz it’s bad luck,” Tonya said, popping her head in the window. She kissed my lips, and I smiled. She smelled all fresh, like crisp mountain air, and her wet hair dripped down on my lap. “You gonna unlock the door and let me in?”
“Don’t you want to stay and hang out?” I asked. Usually after games she stuck around and signed autographs, helped clean up, and hung out with the rest of the team. Our Saturdays in the fall had turned into all day affairs, and from six am until well af
ter the sun went down, we spent all our time either on the road traveling or hanging out at our home stadium. I didn’t mind. I knew I’d have her undivided attention as soon as the season was over. I knew it made her so happy. I knew she was fulfilling her destiny. I’d never complain. It’s not like things weren’t coming together for me, too.
I mean, I finally felt like I found what I was supposed to be doing with my life. Maybe the only thing I had in common with my father was my love for making jobs for other people. Only I didn’t want to just make jobs, I wanted to make careers. I wanted to help empower as many people as possible and give them the tools they needed to thrive. I lost a lot of ‘stuff’ over the last year, but I realized rather quickly I had everything I needed inside me and beside me. When things got bad with the lawsuit, I just buried myself in work, buried myself in volunteering, buried myself in Tonya’s warm embrace and found comfort in the idea that I was making my own life. What decisions my father made did not define me as a person.
She got in the passenger seat of the car and I squeezed her hand. Her fingers were cold as ice, and she tapped her knee up and down almost nervously.
“Let me turn the heat up,” I suggested. “You’re freezing.”
“I’m sweating like a whore in church,” she said, fanning her face. She was super red.
“Are you all right? Did you eat? I have snacks in my purse.”
“I’m fine, I’m fine,” she muttered. “Just drive.”
“Okay…” I headed for the exit, slightly concerned. Maybe I should take her to the hospital. “Seriously, I have granola, water bottles, candy…” I put my purse on her lap, and started fishing around in it.
“I’m not hungry. Turn left here,” she urged.
“Whatever,” I said. “Where are we going?”
“You’ll see,” she said, tossing my purse into the back seat.