Welcome to the Galactic Shoppers Network

by Ian Rodgers

  “So tell us, Zane, has anyone caught your eye perchance? Maybe a nice girl from Plainsburg?”

  “Sally, leave the boy alone! So what if he hasn’t met anyone yet? That just means he hasn’t had any ‘accidents’ and come home after their Junior year at college with a baby and a husband…” Ralph descended into angry fatherly grumbles towards his daughter and son-in-law.

  Zane’s father had warmed up to Don after a while, but he never really forgave either of them for being so ‘reckless with their loins,’ as William Pendon had called it when he’d found out.

  “Behave, dear,” Sally warned, seeming the way her husband’s thoughts were drifting. “But anyways, Zane, are you sure you haven’t had anyone catch your eye down in Plainsburg?”

  “Hardly. Chacha’s the only woman I need right now,” Zane muttered. He froze as soon as the words left his lips though. And there were two reasons for that. First and foremost was due to the fact he had all but admitted to wanting to pursue a relationship with the beautiful alien idol.

  Second, and perhaps most pertinent to the moment at hand, was that he had just admitted to his mother that he was potentially seeing someone. And as much as Zane loved her, he knew Sally Smith Pendon was rather nosy when it came to relationships.

  “Chacha?” Mrs. Pendon mused, rolling the name around her tongue.

  “That’s just a nickname I call her!” Zane quickly explained, only to realize he had given more ammunition to his mother a moment later when her already massive grin grew even larger.

  “Not only did you meet someone, but you’re already calling her cute pet names? Do you hear that, Ralph? More grandbabies!” Sally cried, a wide smile on her face as she leaned towards her son.

  Zane in turn tried to see if the recliner would absorb him if he sunk deep enough into the padding.

  “Mom, we haven’t even met in person! We’ve just talked through the phone and with video calls and texts,” Zane continued, digging his hole deeper. “Also, we’re just friends! Even if you and Rob say otherwise…”

  Zane snapped his mouth shut and hastily placed his now empty tumbler onto the floor next to the chair. Damn it, this was what he got for taking it easy!

  “Who’s Rob? A friend? A co-worker? Your brother-in-law?”

  “A friend from the office! Works in delivery!” Zane lied. “We kept in contact!”

  “Son, stop adding fuel to the fire and just let your mother run out of steam on her own,” Ralph Pendon groaned in his thickening accent, reaching for the bottle. He needed another generous helping to get through this train wreck of a conversation his boy had started.

  Still, much like a train wreck, what was happening was too amusing not to watch. Or too tragic. Whichever.

  “So, when can we meet her?” Sally inquired, settling down somewhat.

  “She’s overseas with work right now, so I don’t know when it’ll be possible,” Zane replied smoothly. It wasn’t really a lie. She was across an ocean of stars, after all, so that counted!

  Zane blinked slowly and cast a glance at the glass next to him. The whiskey must have been stronger than he’d first thought. He didn’t usually get this eloquent until his fifth helping of wine or beer. Not to mention he was rationalizing his own lie with poorly thought out wordplay.

  “I think I need some water,” he murmured to himself. Mrs. Pendon smirked and all but pranced into the kitchen to fetch his order. The two men were free for the moment and Ralph shared a sympathetic look with his son.

  “She’s been on a grandchild high ever since Veronica got pregnant with Jack. Little Donna only seems to have reignited the flames.” The older man smiled pityingly at the younger and slightly tipsy young adult. The expression turned melancholy though as he remembered an event from the past.

  “Her antics remind me of how pops reacted to the news he was going to be a grandfather. I know it wasn’t the first time for him, but he was always happy to have another kid to dote on. Shame we all drifted apart over the years. Did you know I hadn’t seen Tim, Francis, or Luke in five years? All it took was dad’s funeral to get back together.” Mr. Pendon suddenly looked weary and several decades older as he stared into his drink.

  “But, life happens. That’s just how it is.”

  “Yeah. Now that you mention in, when was the last time I got to see the cousins? Jeff is out in New York somewhere and Cindy was in DC last I knew. Hmm. Maybe I should get back into closer contact with them,” Zane mused. Social media and the internet would help with that. Maybe a phone call as well.

  The pair sunk into companionable silence as they thought back to the good old days. It became stifling after a while though and the coder coughed to get his father’s attention. A certain question had popped into his mind while he thought about Grandpa William.

  “Hey, dad, did you ever hear anything about meteorite strikes near Plainsburg?” Zane inquired in an effort to alleviate the mood. He was also curious.

  Encountering the government agents after Halloween had given him a lot to think about. Had his grandfather been around the area at that time? Had it really been a meteor that struck, or was it…

  Zane dismissed that thought as soon as it arrived. Not everything had to do with aliens, damn it! Rob’s crash landing was a fluke, nothing else. So what if Gramps had believed in alien life? Lots of people did. So what if a meteorite had landed down in the fields in ages past? There had to be countless billions of space pebbles up there just waiting to fall into Earth’s gravity!

  “You mean besides your own?”

  Zane nodded at his father’s inquiry while also accepting a cup of freshly poured tap water from his mother.

  “Not that I can think of,” Ralph admitted. “Though I did hear that it had happened before. 1949? 1950? There abouts. Pops had just moved back after his tour of service in Europe. I think you know, but he served as part of a tank battalion in World War Two.”

  “I’ve seen his medals and memorabilia and remember his stories,” Zane said in confirmation.

  “Yup. Fifteen confirmed enemy vehicle kills. Or was it twelve? Anyways, point is he dug up a meteorite that landed in one of his family’s fields and sold it. Used the money to build the house. That it still stands today is impressive. I think he said a friend from the military showed him how to draft construction blueprints and helped design the place. Cannot remember the man’s name though. Started with an ‘X’ or a ‘Z.’”

  “Huh. Neat. So what are the odds for two meteorites striking the relatively same area in less than a century?” Zane asked, mostly rhetorical.

  “Dunno, Zane. High perhaps? I mean the Midwest has had a lot of meteorite craters from the past, so maybe the region is a giant magnet from space debris,” Ralph chuckled, joined by his wife and son. Zane’s laughter was more relieved than anything else though. Yeah, it was all just coincidence.

  “Zanny! Good to see you!”

  “It’s good to see you too, Vera,” Zane said happily as he wrapped his sister in a tight hug, pointedly ignoring the nickname.

  He had been taken aback by how pale his sister had become, and how there was a noticeable loss of weight that gave her a gaunt look.

  Veronica had just laughed and waved off her brother’s concern when he brought it up. “It’s just fatigue from caring for Donna. I’ll be better soon though, don’t worry!”

  Deciding to trust his baby sister Zane reached out for his nephew and gave Jack a squeeze.

  “Hello there little Jacko. How’s being a big brother going?”

  “Donna’s funny and cute, but she cries and smells sometimes,” Jack said. Zane nodded in understanding.

  “I know all about that. I was your mom’s older brother, so I had to deal with a stinky crybaby for a while. It gets better of course, and you’re going to be in charge of keeping Donna safe as she grows up, OK?”

  “OK!” Jack then scampered off to be pampered by ‘Granma’ and all but hurled his four year old frame into Sally Pendon when he saw her.

 
“Hello Don. Good to see you again,” Zane said, sticking out his hand in greeting. His brother-in-law took it and gave it a shake before readjusting the baby carrier strapped to his chest.

  “Good day to you as well, Zane. I am glad you are here, dear Vera has been quite eager to see you again and introduce you to your niece.”

  “Glad to hear it,” the coder said while carefully maintaining a neutral facial expression.

  Dressed in black with only a few silver buttons and chains and a dark purple beret to add a break to the colorless monotony, Don West took on the look of a goth with a decent amount of success. Combined with his effusive and wordy style of speech, Don was an odd sight to see with a bright pink baby harness attached to him.

  Yet the look worked for him, and no one ever assumed he was actually a co-owner of a fairly successful bar and nightclub deeper in the city.

  Don walked over to the couch in the living room and carefully unhooked himself from the contraption that held his daughter to his chest.

  “Say hello to Donna, Zane!” Vera said proudly, snatching her darling from the couch and holding her up to her brother.

  “Hmm,” Zane mused, looking over the pink clad baby before him. She was certainly cute, but he had yet to see a baby that wasn’t. Her hair was a wispy brown tuft on the top of her head. Curious green eyes looked up at another one of the strange giants that constantly invaded her personal space.

  “Let me see. All five fingers and toes,” Zane said in a dry voice, wiggling said digits to a chorus of giggles, “as well as a nose, eyes, and mouth. Looks human, but has a hint of harp seal with that adorable face. And just the tiniest hint of pudge.” He reached over and tickled Donna’s stomach causing a gurgling laugh.

  “Yes, I can say for certain that this baby is definitely human and extremely cute. The circus will pay handsomely for such a fine specimen.”

  “Really? I think the zoo would pay better since it’s clearly such a rare breed of Babicus Adorablus,” Vera said as she held up Donna and nuzzled the baby’s cheek with her own.

  “No! Don’t sell sista!” Jack cried, running over and tugging on his mother’s pants. The older siblings laughed and assured Jack they were just joking.

  “Who’s ready for turkey?” Ralph called out, entering with a large platter that carried a nicely smoked bird.

  The Pendons and Wests gathered around the table at that announcement, smiling and wiping away drool as they looked upon the feast.

  Beside the turkey were mounds of mashed potatoes, loaves of fresh bread, tureens of gravy, and piles of cranberry chutney. With the good silverware brought out and bottles of fine wine cracked open this was certainly a meal fit for Thanksgiving.

  “Looks great, dad!” Veronica said as she eyed the food. She tucked her kids into their highchairs. Jack was certainly getting into the spirit of the holiday with a bib shaped like a cornucopia.

  “Indeed, I can only imagine the great care and love that you delivered unto this meal,” Don mentioned. The Pendons just smiled and nodded. It sounded like a compliment, so they’d take it as one.

  “Here’s to family, past, present, and future!” Ralph said, raising a glass in toast.

  “Here, here!”

  “Now, let’s dig in! Who wants a leg?”

  Chapter 12

  “So, I heard you’ve got a long distance relationship going.”

  Zane held back a sigh and gave a weak smile towards his sister. “I’m sure whatever mom has been spreading is exaggeration.”

  “Really? So pet names and getting highly defensive about her meeting the family is all in mom’s head?” Vera inquired. She grinned widely when her brother flinched, confirming it all.

  It had been a day since Thanksgiving and Zane was happily spending time with his nephew and niece and the rest of the family. Or he had been having fun until the youngsters (and oldsters even though Ralph would protest at that comparison) had to take a nap after all the excitement and playing. Without distractions Veronica finally had a chance to interrogate her sibling.

  “I’m starting to wonder why I even came home,” Zane grumbled. He staggered up off of the floor where he’d been sitting and made his way into the recliner with a huff of relief. Seeing his sister was not going to let up he wearily waved towards the couch.

  Vera eagerly bounced into her seat on the couch. Despite her malnourished appearance she still carried a puppy-like air of excitement.

  “So, what’s she like?”

  “She’s overseas. And foreign.”

  “But she still speaks English, right?”

  “I understand her just fine.”

  Zane gave himself a mental pat on the back for that skillfully bit of lying. Then felt bad for being proud of tricking his sister.

  “Will you tell me anything about her, or will you just be tight lipped about this?” Vera asked as she folded her arms with a frown.

  “Let’s do a trade then. You tell me how you’re doing and I’ll give you some gossip that you crave,” Zane said.

  “My health is just fine, thank you very much! I’m just a little tired, is all. It’s just been hard with Donna. She doesn’t sleep very well at night. So, what about you?” inquired Veronica.

  “Her name is Charma and she’s a lot of fun to talk to. Plus, she has a voice like an angel,” Zane replied.

  He stared at Vera in challenge, and she returned it evenly. Neither were happy with the other’s answer, but they’d tolerate their respective privacy for the moment.

  “Good for you, Zane. I’m happy that you found someone you like, even if you yourself are still struggling with realizing that fact.” Veronica let up first.

  “Thanks, Vera. You’re right though. I’m not sure how I feel about her. Is she a friend, or do I want something more, regardless of how unlikely it is to happen?” Zane shrugged in defeat.

  “I’m no good when it comes to interacting with people. That’s why math, science, and technology appeal so much to me.”

  ‘That also might explain why I consider a robotic eyeball and an alien lizard-centaur as my closest friends,’ Zane thought to himself. And wasn’t that just depressing? Or amazing, depending on who asked and answered.

  “My darling, our angels are slumbering.”

  Zane jerked in surprise as Don materialized from the shadows next to Vera.

  “That’s wonderful, honey. Here, take a seat before you give Zane a heart attack,” Veronica said with a smirk towards her brother.

  Zane rolled his eyes and mouthed ‘like a ninja’ at her and she snickered. Sally Pendon then entered the living room with a warm smile and a smartphone held up in one hand.

  “Anyone care to see some adorable pictures? Donna and Jack fell asleep on Ralph, and they all look so cute together. It’s like two fluffy kittens on top of a bear.”

  Everyone nodded and leaned in to see the pictures Mrs. Pendon had taken. Smiles and cooing went around the group all through the afternoon.

  “Rob, I’m back!”

  Zane called out to his companion-bot as he entered the ranch house after a long week away. Thanksgiving had been a blast, but he was glad to be back and away from Veronica and his mother.

  Incessant questioning about his ‘mysterious lover’ would have driven the young man to drink, if not for the fear he might blab something while under the influence.

  Ah! Safe and secure in good old boring Plainsburg!

  “Hello? Rob?” Zane stepped into the house fully expecting the droid to appear before him. But it hadn’t, which made him curious. And just a little bit worried.

  “Oh, welcome back!”

  Zane heaved a relieved sigh when the spiky eyeball floated over to him from the depths of the basement.

  “I was just cataloging some of the antiques and items down there. Your grandfather amassed quite a considerable collection.”

  “Yeah, he did. Find anything interesting?”

  “I did, in fact, find something very interesting. I left it on the couch so you ca
n take a look once you are all done putting your clothes away,” Rob said before drifting into the kitchen area.

  Zane wasn’t sure why it did so, as it couldn’t cook, and not in a hurry to find out either. Worst case scenario? The droid had taken his ‘advice’ and gotten intimate with the toaster or mircowave.

  “By the way, I brought your sweetheart back,” Zane said with a malicious grin as he placed his laptop on the coffee table.

  “Lies! Lies and slander!” Rob howled. That gave the coder a chuckle before he fled to his bedroom to get out of his grimy driving clothes and into a newer set.

  “So what is it you wanted to show me?” Zane asked as he stepped back into the living room.

  He had opted to take a shower in addition to new clothes and felt much better after cleaning off the sweat he’d accumulated over the past day of driving.

  “You can see it for yourself,” Rob huffed. The droid was unamused by its friend’s earlier attempt at humor. It, a highly advanced TI, fancying a brutish, tiny machine? Hardly!

  Zane did so, looking down at the unassuming object. It was a footlocker, of the kind one might have had back in the military. Zane assumed it was his grandfather’s from the war, and a closer inspection confirmed it.

  ‘Sergeant William Pendon, Gunner, Rolling Liberty,’ was crudely etched into the surface of the lid. It looked rather heavy, and the human was impressed by the strength the advertisement droid possessed.

  “What exactly makes this so unusual that you’d want to point it out to me?” Zane asked.

  “While you were gone, I did some digging, both on Earth’s internet but also discreetly on the Alliance’s exo-net. You were curious about aliens having visited this planet in the past, correct?”

  “Yeah, since it seemed like that government agent suspected something about the area and all of its ‘meteorite strikes,’” Zane said with a pair of air quotes.