Her Outlaw

by Geralyn Dawson

  Mari gave her sister a hard hug, then asked, “So, are you done? Ready to talk?”

  “What is there to talk about?”

  “Quite a lot,” Kat replied. “Beginning with how phenomenally foolish you’re being.”

  Temper flared. “I’m foolish because the man I love is dying and I find that upsetting?”

  “Foolish because you believe he’s dying.”

  “He has a tumor in his brain!”

  “Alasdair MacRae is not going to die. He’s the final piece. He’s the last person we needed to break the Curse of Clan McBride. The two of you are already in love. All you have to do is prove that it is powerful, vigilant and true and accomplish your task, and the bad luck will be done. Forever.”

  “Oh, Kat, just let it go.” Emma grimaced with disgust. “I was there. I heard Dr. Daggett. This isn’t a fairy tale, it is real life. Dair has made up his mind and I can’t change it.”

  “Why not? You love him, don’t you?” Kat folded her arms. “I made Jake realize what was important to him, what really mattered. Me. And the children. Why can’t you do that? Make yourself matter.”

  “It’s not that easy.”

  “Well, it should be. You should fight for him. Convince him. You can do it. You have to do it. Otherwise, you’ll be letting down not just yourself, but all of us. Billy and Bobby and Tommy. Mari’s little Drew and Madeline and the twins. Now, I’m not sure if the curse carries to adoptive children, so I don’t know if the children I already have will pay, but the one I’m carrying now certainly will.”

  “You’re pregnant?” Emma and Maribeth asked simultaneously.

  “Yes.” Kat’s smile was smug, though the look in her eyes was bittersweet and perhaps a bit fearful as they all spent a moment remembering the child Kat lost, sweet little angel Susie.

  “That’s wonderful,” Mari said, giving her sister a hug.

  “I’m so happy for you,” Emma told Kat, echoing Mari’s sentiments. It was true. She was happy for Kat and if her heart twisted a bit in envy, well, she’d simply ignore it.

  “Then be a good aunt and don’t ruin my child’s future happiness.”

  “Stop it. Just stop it,” Emma demanded. Anger bristled in her tone. “I won’t listen to that for the next twenty-five years, Kat Kimball. Nothing in this family ever changes. Does no one in this family ever consider my happiness? Doesn’t anyone ever think that maybe I’d give anything if you were right, if happiness was there for my taking?”

  “Emma…”

  “No! But I have to be realistic. The man I love is going to die soon. I have to recognize that fate has dealt me another cruel blow and do my best to live with it. That is the only task I have before me.”

  “You’re wrong, Emma,” Mari said, reaching out and taking Emma’s hands in hers. “Living through grief is not your task. Your task is letting go of it.”

  “That’s what I’m trying to do! I’m letting go of my dreams and my desires. I’m letting go of Dair.”

  “Dair isn’t the problem, honey. Casey is.”

  Emma jerked away from Mari, turned away and rubbed her temples. “I’ve let go of Casey. I’ve fallen in love with another man, for goodness’ sake.”

  “Listen to me.” Never one to give up, Mari took her hand again. “Do you remember what Roslin of Strathardle said about our tasks?”

  “She said we had to accomplish a task of great personal import.”

  “Yes, and she also said our tasks would be revealed at the proper time. After the Spring Palace fire when I discovered Kat might still be alive, I thought my task was to find her.”

  “I remember that,” Emma said.

  “Do you remember my wedding?”

  Kat sniffed and interrupted. “How could anyone forget your wedding, Mari? I still have nightmares about quacking ducks.”

  Mari ignored Kat, focusing on Emma. “You stood next to me. You heard Luke and me take our vows. Do you remember what he said?”

  “I recall him saying he was the luckiest man alive.” Tears stung Emma’s eyes and she tried to blink them away.

  Mari smiled tenderly at the memory, then continued, “He told me he was proud to be marrying a McBride Menace, that Menaces are strong, loyal, courageous, and that when we love, we do it with every fiber of our being.”

  Kat nodded. “I always knew Luke was smart.”

  “It made me want to cry,” Mari continued. “To see myself through his eyes that way. I told him that when it came to being a Menace, I saw only the mischief, the trouble-making, and the bad reputation.”

  “You always were too worried about your reputation.”

  “With scandalous sisters like you two, somebody needed to worry.” Mari took a seat on the sofa and tugged Emma down beside her. “Nevertheless, as I stood at the altar and made my wedding vows, my task was revealed to me by the man I was marrying. Luke said, ‘You just had to find yourself, sugar. That’s a difficult task for all of us.’ That’s when I saw it, Emma. I had to accept who I was to be able to give myself wholly to the man I loved. That was my task—to find myself. Once I did that, I was able to give myself to a love that was powerful, vigilant and true.”

  “I was wrong about my task, too,” Kat confessed, finding a seat on the other side of Emma. “Though I only figured it out a couple of days ago. I wasn’t free to love Jake wholly and completely until I forgave myself. I had to forgive myself for Rory, for Susie, for the pain and anguish I put our family through when they thought I was dead. I had to forgive myself in order to trust in my own emotions, to trust in the strength of the love Jake and I share, and not be afraid. That was my task, Emma, though I was blind to it for so long. Once I forgave myself for my past, I was able to embrace the future—Jake, and our family, and a love that is strong enough to prove the claim of Ariel.”

  “I’m glad you figured it out,” Emma said. “I’m happy for both of you. Honestly, I am. But the fact you found your powerful and true loves and accomplished your tasks has nothing to do with me. The man I love is dying.”

  Mari squeezed her sister’s hand. “Does that mean you can’t love him? That he can’t love you? That you can’t share a love that is powerful, vigilant and true if only for a little while? Em, I can’t help but believe that you’re making a mistake. Instead of driving Dair away, you should be holding him close and making the most of the time you have.”

  “You make it sound so easy.”

  “I’s not easy. It’s terrible. It’s unfair and horrible and I hate it for you.” Tears pooled in Mari’s eyes and she blinked them back. “But as God is my witness, if Luke Garrett told me that he had a brain tumor, I damn sure wouldn’t send him away because of my own selfishness.”

  “I’m not being selfish! He is. But you wouldn’t understand that, would you, Mari? Because Luke would have the operation. He wouldn’t wait around to die.”

  “Oh, you think so?” Mari scoffed. “Honey, Luke Garrett would be shaking in his boots at the idea for the same reasons Dair is. Getting him to do it would be a battle from beginning to end.”

  “Jake would put up a fuss, too,” Kat added. “Think about it, Emma. Try to see his point of view. He doesn’t want to end up a burden—”

  “Shut up! If I hear that word one more time I swear I’m going to blow like a whiskey still.”

  Mari hardened her tone. “He’s alive now. Savor that, Emma. For however long it lasts. You know, it might just be enough to break the curse. I don’t recall Roslin saying anything about the longevity of our loves.”

  Emma reared back. “But we always…none of us…when Casey died we all thought that was the end of the whole curse business. If it doesn’t matter how long a love lasts, then my marriage to Casey fulfilled the requirements and the curse is already broken.”

  Maribeth shrugged. “Emma, I loved Casey. Kat did, too. You know that. He was a wonderful man and he left this earth way too early. But the fact is we don’t know that your love was powerful, vigilant and true. Your love was never tested
. You never had obstacles to overcome.”

  “Death is a rather difficult obstacle to overcome.”

  “Maybe you’ll manage it this time. Maybe God will grant Dair a miracle. Maybe the miracle is you being in his life to convince him that he has a reason to live. If you give up on him now, you’ll never know, will you?”

  “You don’t understand, Mari.”

  “I understand, Emma,” Kat said. “I understand grief. The loss of a child, the loss of a spouse—what could possibly be worse? You know how horribly it hurts and how you want to avoid the pain at all costs. But we’re not cowards, by God. We are strong women. Courageous women. We are the McBride Menaces. Grief is a heavy burden to bear, Emma, but you can do it if you have to. Take that lesson from your past and use it to free yourself of your fear.”

  “That’s your task, Emma.” Mari gave her sister a quick, hard hug, then stared her straight in the eyes. “You have to conquer your fears by risking the pain of your past. I found myself. Kat forgave herself, and now, Emma, it’s time for you to free yourself.”

  “How? If I can somehow summon up the strength to try, how do I go about it? He’s dying. He’s leaving me. How do I find the strength to just stand by and watch?”

  “You won’t be doing it alone, that’s for sure. We’ll be there for you, sister.” Now it was Kat’s turn for a hug. “We’ll be there with you.”

  She smiled mischievously and added, “What do you say, sisters? How about we all go treasure hunting?”

  LATER, DAIR COULDN’T REMEMBER leaving Willow Hill. Logan told him he walked right out the door and kept on walking—along sidewalks, up and down streets, right into traffic. Logan said he had to yank him out of the way of a freight wagon barreling down toward him on Throckmorton Street. After that, Logan took charge of the direction they headed and as a result, they ended up at a saloon in Fort Worth’s Hell’s Half Acre.

  “Trace McBride used to own this place,” Logan told him as they pushed through the saloon’s swinging doors. “Unlike a lot of joints in the Acre, this saloon never watered its whiskey.”

  Moments later, Dair lifted his glass in salute and spoke his first words since leaving Willow Hill. “Selling good whiskey was the least Trace McBride could do considering that his daughters surely drove half the town to drink.”

  “I can drink to that,” Jake Kimball said as he sauntered into the bar.

  “Me, too,” Luke Garrett agreed, waving to some old friends before snagging a bottle and glasses to join Dair and Logan at their table.

  “I hope you’re drinking a toast to your good luck in brides,” Trace McBride groused as he straddled a chair next to Logan. “Not a one of you are good enough for my girls, you know.”

  “Yessir, we do.” Luke winked at Jake. “In case we were inclined to forget, you remind us of it regular enough.”

  Dair banged his head on the table. “Just leave me alone.”

  “I can’t do that,” Trace said. “You made my Emma cry. Emma never cries.”

  Dair slowly lifted his head and met the older man’s gaze head on. “So shoot me.”

  Logan shifted in his chair. “Now wait a minute.”

  Jake topped off his drink and murmured, “Don’t worry. Leave it be, Grey.”

  Trace continued, “I oughta shoot you, that’s for sure. Gallivanting all over the world with my daughter in tow, making her party to your schemes and scams. Accused of murder! My Emma. And don’t think I don’t know that the two of you have had supper before you said Grace.”

  Logan choked on his whiskey at that.

  Trace didn’t even pause. “Then you don’t bother to tell her you’re about to kick the bucket until she’s gone and fallen in love with you. Nope, a bullet is too good for such a selfish bastard.” He glanced over at Luke. “Does Texas still castrate criminals?”

  “Can’t say we ever did.”

  “Hmm. We could start. At the very least you need to be locked away in Huntsville.” Trace looked at his lawman son-in-law. “Why haven’t you arrested him?”

  “Jake wants to buy him a pardon from the governor.”

  “No one is buying me anything.” Dair banged his fist on the table. “You know what, old man? You’re right, and nothing you can say will make me feel any worse than I already do. You said your piece, so leave me the hell alone. All of you.”

  “Fuck that,” Jake said. “I’m your friend.”

  “And I’m the law in this town,” Luke added. “You’re a wanted man, and for Emma’s sake I’m not going to arrest you, but I’m not letting you ride off into the sunset, either.”

  “You should have the surgery, Dair,” Jake stated.

  “Easy for you to say,” Dair exploded. He whirled on Logan. “Tell him, Grey. Tell him about Jimbo.”

  Logan winced. “Dair…”

  “Boy at the orphanage with us. His father dumped him on Nana Nellie one day. Horse had kicked him in the head. He couldn’t talk, couldn’t walk, couldn’t eat. Nana had to do everything for him. He was fourteen years old and she changed his goddamned diapers. She worked herself to the bone. Damn near killed herself. Even Nana Nellie was glad the day poor Jimbo caught the croup and died, and she suffered with guilt for it for years afterward. I will not, by God, put Emma in that position.”

  Trace pursed his lips and nodded. “Have to say I respect you for that. Can’t say I blame you for not wanting to get your head cut open, either. That’s awful personal. It’d take a lot of guts for a man to literally put his life in a stranger’s hands that way and you apparently don’t have the balls for it.”

  “Goddammit!” Dair snapped.

  “Of course, it’s not like you have much control the way things are,” Trace continued. “I mean, you have something growing in your head right now, and it could turn you into droolin’ fool without a surgeon’s knife ever gettin’ near you.”

  Dair betrayed the slightest of shudders at that. It was his biggest fear, one he never verbalized and rarely acknowledged to himself.

  Trace drummed his fingers on the table, his brow furrowed in thought. “I’m confused though. My Emma is one smart woman. She probably has more sense than anyone I know and better instincts than anyone, save my Jenny. Why the hell she would pick you to love is beyond me. But she did and there it is. And as much as I hate to admit it, you seem to care about her, too. You just need to wake up and realize it before it’s too late.”

  “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

  “It means you had better figure out a way to make it right with her. Have the surgery or not. That’s your choice and it’s one I don’t envy. But if you really love her, you’d best make the most of the time you have left.”

  “Enough, McBride. Hate me all you want, but you have no right to question my love for her.”

  “I have every right. I was there when she was born. I walked her down the aisle to marry Casey. I stood beside her the day she buried him. Do you think I relish the thought of going through that kind of hell again? But I’ll have to, won’t I? Because she’ll be left alone again with no more than a memory. As much as it pains me to admit it, I’m not sure Emma will recover this time.” He paused, sipped his drink, then said harshly, “She’ll never risk her heart a third time. She’ll just bury it with you.”

  Dair closed his eyes and shuddered. “I have to hope you’re wrong. If you’d seen Nana Nellie with Jimbo…better a broken heart than a broken back.”

  “Broken hearts can kill a person, too,” Luke observed. “Seems to me you’re missing something when you go to chewing on this. What if the surgery cured you, MacRae? It doesn’t have to end badly, you know.”

  “He has a point,” Jake agreed. “Dammit, Dair. Can’t you just think about it? Let Daggett contact the surgeon he knows. Find out more about it before you dismiss it entirely.”

  Dair shot a look at Logan. “What about you? Aren’t you going to chastise me, too?”

  “I can tell that you’ve already made up your mind. Stubborn as always. No
sense trying to change what’s carved in rock.”

  Disgust laced Jake’s voice. “Now, there’s a good friend.”

  “Would you do it?” Logan fired back.

  Jake was silent for a moment. “I don’t know. But I wouldn’t just throw a chance into the discard pile without a second thought. Think about it, Dair. Mull the idea over. That won’t hurt anything, will it?”

  Dair had had enough. “Can’t a man drink in peace in this town?”

  “Not in this family,” Luke observed dryly.

  “I’m not family.”

  “You’re my family,” Jake declared. “You’ve been my brother for a lot of years already, MacRae, and now we up and fall in love with sisters. If that doesn’t make us family, I don’t know what does. Since we’re being honest here, I have to tell you I’m pissed as hell that you didn’t confide in me. That’s no way to treat family.”

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t want…this.”

  Jake arched a brow. “This?”

  Pity. Pressure. Dair just shook his head and stared into his drink. Emma, I’m so damned sorry.

  Trace drained his drink, then poured another. “So, it’s decided. He’ll mull it over. In the meantime, how about you tell us where we’re headed?”

  “Pardon me?” Dair set down his glass.

  “Where do we start the treasure hunt?” At Dair’s blank look, he added, “You didn’t think we’d let you go without us, did you? The good news is we hadn’t finished unpacking from the aborted Scotland trip yet, so it’s a simple thing to load up and go.”

  “This isn’t your concern.”

  “Sure it is. Like I told your knuckleheaded friend who is now my knuckleheaded son-in-law a few weeks back, I’ve battled this bad luck business off and on for a good part of my life, and though it took a bit of convincing, I believe in the Curse of Clan McBride. Bottom line is that a decade ago some spooky gal gave my girls their necklaces and my family has been riding the bad luck merry-go-round ever since. If I’m seeing an opportunity to climb off the ride, I’m darn sure going to make certain the McBrides take it.”

  It took all Dair’s control not to take a swing at Emma’s father. “Haven’t you listened to a word I said? I’m not Emma’s vigilant and true love. I can’t be.”