Deja Vu

by Guerin Zand

  “But they both know better, Maria. They should have talked you out of it. But all of that aside, I can’t believe the three of you were stupid enough to bring Gamma with you.” I just shook my head at the three of them. “Now, instead of me taking the Deviant to run a simple errand, I had to take the Ryvius and the entire crew because I can’t trust any of you to simply do what you’re told.” I wasn’t sure I was getting through to any of them. “So here I am, babysitting you three, while Steve and his crew have to hold the fort on their own. All because I can’t leave any of you in command of anything more complicated than fucking pizza night.”

  I was done talking to the three. If they couldn’t get it through their heads how badly they fucked up, it was pointless. “Kelly, I’m going to let Steve and Roger deal with you. You’ll be lucky if you’re not reassigned to a cargo hauler.” I looked towards Senri. “You, Senri, will start doing your job on this ship. If I didn’t need a Collective member to help at times, I’d toss you off this boat. All I want to hear from you is ‘Yes, Sir’ or “Yes, Captain”. Anything else, and you’re out of here.

  Senri simply nodded and said, “Yes, Captain.”

  “You two can go. Maria, you stay right where you are.”

  Senri and Kelly got up and left my office. Maria just sat there with her arms crossed and a pissed off look on her face. I couldn’t figure her out lately. When we came back from Taes, I thought we had gotten closer. It was one thing for her to act like Julie or side with Julie. That was simply annoying. But now she was just being stupid, and I couldn’t understand what she was thinking at all.

  “Ok, now that we’re alone, would you mind telling me what your fucking problem is lately? First your little mutiny, and now this?” Maria just remained silent in that same position. “What, you didn’t do a good enough job disappointing me when you were a teenager, so now you're making up for that? Finally, this is my parent’s revenge?”

  Maria simply said, “No!”

  “Then what is it, Maria.” Oh, dear God, I was sounding just like my father. “You could have gotten you’re sister killed, not to mention the rest of us. How would you feel if one of our crew, or Steve’s crew, had gotten injured or killed because of your little stunt?”

  Yes, my father had finally surfaced. I knew yelling at her wasn’t helping, and she wouldn’t even try to answer. Still, just like my father, I continued to yell at her. She just sat there silent. “You have to help me out here, Maria. I just don’t understand. I wrote off your little mutiny as a dumb little prank and I gave you this mission. I thought that’s what you wanted, more responsibility. So tell me, why couldn’t you just carry out the mission as planned? I really want to know.”

  Maria finally looked up at me and I could see she was hurt. “It’s not that simple being your daughter, Dad. And I don’t just want to be your daughter. No one asks me what I think about what we should do, not even you. The Collective turns to you, but they never come to me unless they want me to pass on a message, or they want me to try and talk you into something. I just want everyone to see that I have something to offer as well.”

  “Do you think pulling these stunts is helping you with that?”

  “No, but it’s not like you never fuck up, and no one treats you like you just treated me, do they?”

  “Come on, Maria. I’ve had to deal with a lot worse from Julie and friends. You just don’t get to see it. Sometimes, I don’t need anyone to tell me that I fucked up to make me feel bad. When your mother got killed, I knew I was responsible, and nothing could make me feel worse than that. The look of disappointment in your eyes when I had to tell you that your mother had been killed was the worse feeling I ever had.”

  “So, what am I supposed to do then, Dad? When I try to prove to you that I can handle myself and I fuck up, you go crazy. Am I supposed to stop trying?”

  “Yes, that’s exactly what you need to do. If all you are doing is trying to prove yourself, or impress me or anyone else, you need to stop it. You don’t need to try and prove anything to anyone. You don’t have to try to define yourself for others to see who you really are. That’s the only real secret there is to all of this. You're doing stupid things because you’re trying to prove something, and trust me, because if anyone knows stupid, I do. Stupid is not the result of trying. It either comes to you naturally, or it doesn’t.”

  Maria sniffled a bit and then laughed. “That’s got to be one of the stupidest things you’ve ever said, Dad.”

  “I don’t know about that, Maria, but it does prove my point. It was obvious I wasn’t even trying, right? Just leave your little sister out of your plans for now, ok?”

  “But, Dad. I’m telling you, she really does have some weird power over people.” I started to chuckle. “Don’t laugh. Just watch her for a while, and you’ll see I’m right.”

  “Right. So, my sweet little Gamma, is in reality, a mind-fucking teenage mutant ninja smurf killer or something?”

  “I’m serious, Dad. You saw what she was like down there. Did she look like a frightened little princess?” Maria had a point there. Gamma sure didn’t look or act like the sweet little girl I read bedtime stories to. “It wouldn’t be the strangest thing to happen to a member of this family, now would it?”

  I could only roll my eyes in response to that. She was right though. This family was strange enough. She got up and I gave her a hug and a light kiss on her forehead. It was probably a good thing we had this little talk, but I doubted much would change. We both walked out of my office together and onto the bridge. The crew had the ship ready, so we left for the Earth ship, which in fact turned out to be just another one of those stupid things that came naturally to me. I should have just had Maria take Seca and her husband back, but I didn’t, and I didn’t think beforehand that a simple trip to the Earth ship might not be that simple.

  Chapter 10

  Another Breakfast with Julie

  It was supposed to be a quick trip to drop Seca and her husband Louis back off at the Earth ship. As I mentioned earlier, I had the Ryvius and her full crew on this trip because it was obvious they needed a babysitter after their last two adventures. I really hated being in charge. Let’s face it, I’m barely capable of being in charge of myself. I had accepted the role as father, and I could sort of deal with that, but I always had a wife around to fix things when I fucked that up. Now, it was like I had a crew of children I had to watch and take care of, and no one was helping.

  Roger and Steve had talked to Kelly about her latest actions and that helped a bit. They decided that it was best not to remove her from her current position since she was indeed one of the more qualified members of the Rangers. I agreed with them. Getting rid of Kelly wouldn’t have solved anything, and I would have just been left shorthanded. The real problem was my daughter, Maria. From the beginning, I had given her almost full authority in running the ship, so it wasn’t hard to understand why the crew would end up in the middle of things when the two of us disagreed. Roger and Steve didn’t say it directly, but it was obvious from our conversation that they thought Maria and I needed to work on our issues. I think the way they put it was something about leading by example.

  While we were docked with the Earth ship, we took the opportunity to fill the cargo bay with supplies for our new base on Hell. The Rangers were using the Earth ship for storage and distribution of supplies that we brought in from the Terran system. Since the Rangers were not officially connected with the Terran government, and even a bit disliked by said government, we needed a place to sort of call home. On the Earth ship we could stage our missions, resupply our ships, let the crews spend some downtime, and conduct commerce between the Terran system and some of the unaligned worlds we had relations with. We planned on moving a lot of these activities out to our new base on Hell as we built things up out there.

  It was the morning after we had arrived, and we were getting ready to depart when things went from ok to shit. That’s when Julie appeared on the bridge of the Ryv
ius. I explained to Julie that whatever it was, I didn’t have time for her. We were about to leave, and she really needed to get off my ship. I don’t know why I bothered. Even though it only took the sight of her to ruin my day, I was sure that it was just the beginning of something much worse. Julie informed me that she was quite aware that we were leaving, and she intended on coming along with us. There were some things we needed to discuss, and being the witch that she was, I guess a trip to Hell sounded like fun to her. I invited her to join me for a private breakfast in the Captain’s mess. She said she’d meet me there at 8 AM. Then she left the bridge to go visit with my daughters.

  We weren’t going straight back to Hell. There were a few Ranger cargo ships also docked with the Earth ship. We had agreed to escort them to their destinations out in the unaligned worlds. I also still had Heesa stashed onboard, and at some point, I was going to have to do something with him. Maybe I could talk Julie into helping out with that problem.

  Ok, this breakfast was going to be a little different than our previous ones. First off, I invited Julie to the Captain’s mess for breakfast, and of course, she just had to make a big deal about it. After my talk with Heesa Mk II, I just thought it might be better to have our little conversation in private. Normally, I would have enjoyed embarrassing her in public, but this wasn’t just about her. Also, I didn’t know if I should believe a lot of what Heesa told me. I wanted to hear it from Julie’s own mouth. Julie arrived at the Captain’s mess promptly at 8:00AM, ship time. She just walked in as though she owned the place. The arrogance of the woman never ceased to amaze me.

  “Come on in, I guess.” Pointing out to her that the simple courtesy of knocking would have been appreciated was just a waste of time with Julie.

  “Thank you, Guerin. And to what do I owe the honor of your gracious invitation this morning?”

  “Oh please, Julie. When have I ever done anything to honor you?”

  “That’s true. So, I assume you have a reason for inviting me to breakfast, maybe another complaint about how I’ve mistreated you in some way?”

  “That’s a really long list, Julie, and I don’t really want to spend that much time with you.”

  Prima entered the room with her little helper Gamma. They placed our meals on the table in front of us. Gamma poured a cup of tea for Julie, and a cup of coffee for me. I gave my daughter a little kiss on her cheek as I thanked her. Prima smiled at me, and simply put her hand on my shoulder for a second to calm me. I guess that was her way of reminding me to behave, at least a little bit. Then she left the room with Gamma.

  “I have a friend of yours aboard the Ryvius, Julie. He’s been telling me quite a few interesting stories. I was wondering if you’d like to comment on what I’ve been hearing?”

  “And just who is this friend you’re speaking of, Guerin?”

  “That would be Heesa, Julie.” That didn’t seem to rattle her in the slightest as she took a bite from her fruit plate. “I was going to drop him off at one of the ASTN worlds and let their justice system take care of him.”

  “Why didn’t you simply kill him, again?”

  “You know how much I hate repeating myself, Julie. Besides, I’m sure he has more clones squirreled away. It would be like playing whack-a-mole. Kind of pointless if you ask me.”

  “So, you’ve been talking to Heesa. What did he say that’s got your panties all twisted up in a bunch?”

  “Seriously, Julie. What do you think he’d tell me? What secrets could you two possibly have that might make me raise an eyebrow?” Just for fun I raised an eyebrow to add to the dramatic effect.

  “I have no idea, Guerin?”

  “Julie, Julie, Julie. You’ve been a bad, bad girl, haven’t you?”

  “Would you mind getting to the point, Guerin?”

  “Sure, Julie. Let’s start with him telling me the two of you were fuck-buddies.”

  “Oh, that.”

  “That’s your response, seriously? Could you be a bit more specific, like, I don’t know, maybe tell me if it’s true?”

  “Technically.”

  I swear, she just couldn’t stop being so damn Bree! Never offer any more information than necessary. It was always like pulling teeth with her.

  “For once, Julie, could you stop being such a pain when I’m trying to ask you a simple question? What do you mean, technically?”

  “What is it you want to know, Guerin?”

  “According to Heesa, you seduced him to recruit him, and you most probably pimped out Milly to do exactly the same to me.”

  Julie gave me a stern look and raised her voice a bit. “Look, Guerin, I don’t really care what you think of me, but how could you possibly believe that about Milly?”

  “I don’t really, at least I don’t want to believe that, but I can’t totally ignore how accurately Heesa described my situation.”

  “And you believe Heesa’s story more than you believe your own feelings about Milly?”

  “I guess not.” I felt kind of dumb for bringing it up. “It’s just it never made sense how Milly dumped me.”

  Julie just started to laugh. “You are such a silly little boy sometimes. Milly loves you more than anything, and you know that. She didn’t dump you. She just realized that as long as the two of you were together, you’d never accomplish the things that you are capable of. I’m sure that Heesa told you that we were trying to control you, but it’s just the opposite. At first, you needed Milly to help you cope with this new life and teach you how things worked. You don’t need her help with that anymore. You need to find your own way now, without Milly’s influence.”

  “But aren’t you always trying to control and influence me, Julie? Isn’t that why you’re here now?”

  “The two of us don’t have the same type of relationship that you and Milly have, Guerin. We argue, and you don’t always do what I want. With me, you're always fighting to maintain your independence, and you insist on making your own decisions. You wouldn’t do that with Milly. No, you’d sacrifice your independence to make her happy, and that’s not what we want from you. I think you humans refer to that condition as pussy-whipped.” Julie smiled that wicked little smile of hers. She really did enjoy insulting me.

  “Did insulting me make you feel better?”

  “It always does, Guerin.”

  “You say all that about not wanting to control or influence me, but still you messed with my genetics, didn’t you?” Julie just nodded, but still she didn’t really answer the question. “While I’ve got you here, would you mind telling me exactly what you did to me genetically, specifically regarding my daughter Maria? Are you still going to deny you snuck a little Bree junk in my DNA?”

  “Yes. What happened when you underwent your procedure, as you like to call it, was exactly the opposite.”

  “Now you’ve lost me, Julie.” I finished my last bite of breakfast and pushed my plate away.

  “You humans have what you call junk DNA, we don’t. It’s DNA that in fact has a purpose, it’s just humans have not advanced enough to make use of that genetic information. When we “improved” you, well, we replaced your junk with something useful. It’s that simple.”

  “And let me guess, you just happened to use your own useful information to replace my junk?”

  “Well, you wouldn’t have wanted anything but the best, would you?” She tossed in one of her sick little smiles just to twist the knife a little more.

  “I guess that explains her being so annoying, and that attitude of hers. So, you just wiped out my genetic information and replaced it with yours? No wonder she looks so much like her mother and not even little like me.”

  “Oh, come on, Guerin. She has your eyes.”

  “Gee, I guess I should thank you then.”

  “You think she gets her attitude from me? Dear God, Guerin. If she gets that attitude from anyone, it’s from you. Can you seriously sit there and tell me that the little stunt she pulled on you in the Vaj system wasn’t 100% Guerin?” />
  I twisted my head a bit. “Ok, I’ll admit it. That little stunt did give me some hope, that maybe she wasn’t a total lost cause.”

  “And who do you think it was that stole my shuttle and sent it to you?”

  “Really? She never said anything about that.” I sniffled and wiped my nose on the sleeve of my bathrobe. “My little girl. Give me a second Julie. It’s all making me a bit weepy.”

  “Cut the crap, Guerin. Of course she never told you. Like I was saying, she’s more your daughter than you know. That’s probably why you two seem to clash so often. She’s just like you, Guerin, just a little better. That’s probably because she’s her mother’s daughter.”

  “Whatever, Julie. But still, that annoying part is your little contribution, isn’t it?” Julie smiled as she took a sip of her tea. “Anyways, can we get back to the original topic?”

  “And what was that, Guerin? I’m sorry, but you can be quite confusing at times.”

  “Heesa, Julie, Heesa. What do you want me to do with him?”

  “Why should I care?”

  “Because. The whole reason I’m talking to you about this in private is to try and avoid causing you and Milly any embarrassment.”

  “How sweet.” She batted her eyes at me as that sick smile of hers returned to her face.

  “Can you be serious for a moment, Julie? I would think that you wouldn’t want Heesa spreading his stories around, especially in the unaligned worlds. Only me and a few crew members even know he’s onboard the Ryvius, and I’m the only one that has been talking to him. How do you think the other worlds are going to take knowing your ex-lover is the tyrant he is thanks to your help. I’m trying to be nice here, but you’re making it really hard.”

  “I appreciate that, Guerin, I really do, but it simply doesn’t matter to me. Do with him as you please.”

  “Fine. Then let’s talk about that planet in the Vaj system and you’re getting my daughter to run errands for you.”