by Harper, Ali
“I don’t think I’m even going to got to college. Money’s tight at the moment ever since dad died. He didn’t have any life insurance and even if he did I’m pretty sure suicide rules out any form of payment. My mom said she doesn’t want me to go college. She says she needs me at home.” she sighed at the bleak opportunities life gave her without education. Life without college seemed incomplete to her. Sienna was a reader, an explorer, a keen avid learner; college would be the best place for her.
“Don’t worry, everything will be okay. I promise.” He replied sincerely.
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.” She whispered to herself. She could hear faint shouting in the distance and turned to see Molly waving her arms in the air calling them in.
“Therapy session is over.” Logan chuckled and walked with his arm wrapped around her shoulder back to the mansion.
“Logan, there’s something else I discovered about… about my family yesterday…about myself.” She stuttered almost unable to utter the following words.
“I found out that Phil wasn’t my biological father.”
5.
If Logan was thrown he didn’t show it. He was calm and composed and didn’t interrupt her as she told him the events that led to her discovery.
“So all you know about your real father is that his name is Raj? Isn’t that an Indian name?” he asked surprised. This was becoming more and more bizarre. When he looked at her beautiful light olive complexion she looked Colombian just like her mother.
“I don’t know.” She replied confusedly. Their conversation abruptly ended as they entered the dining room. The room was dimly lit and had a long expensive dark wood dining table complete with candles and flowers and wineglasses and an array of different tiny forks and spoons. Everyone else was already seated.
“Sorry, we’re late. We got distracted.” Logan apologized and sat down. She took the seat next to him and almost jumped as she felt someone tucking her chair in for her as if she were an infant. She sat opposite a bored looking Jake whom looked as if he had just received a lecture. She looked over to the head of the table and figured that he probably had. Mr. Jackson was a tall handsome older version of Logan. He had the same dark eyes, his now crinkled with age at the corners. He had the same chiseled features and the legendary Jackson family smile and charm. He had dark hair flecked with silver. He must have been in his mid to late forties, but like most men he looked better with age. Sienna wondered if Logan would be the same. He donned an expensive tailored charcoal suit and a gold Rolex and exuded money and power.
Mr. Jackson’s eyes instantly widened as he saw Sienna and he looked momentarily taken aback.
“I didn’t know we were having a guest today. Who is this beautiful young lady?” he asked with a strained smile.
“Bobby I told you we were having someone over today.” His wife scolded flippantly. “This is Sienna, dad, she’s a friend from my school.” He replied and squeezed her hand gently under the table. Friend.
“Its very nice to meet you, sir. I’ve heard so much about you.” She smiled mustering up all her politeness and courtesy for a man she knew she instantly disliked. Logan seemed to be so easily intimidated by his father. What was worse was that he seemed to even fear his father and secretly resent him.
“Sienna? As in Sienna Rivers?” he asked his smile faltering momentarily. If she had blinked she probably would have missed the recognition in his eyes.
“Yes, sir.” She replied.
“Oh its just I recognize you because I met your father a few times. He was a good man. I’m so sorry for your loss.” He consoled. She blinked the tears out her eyes. Perhaps she was wrong about him. He may have been more like Logan that she had thought. The food was served. The dining table topics varied from the status of Jake’s education in law school to Grace’s auction function tomorrow to Mr. Jackson’s declaration that he was running for senate this year and finally the conversation turned towards her.
“So, Sienna what are your plans for college next year?” Grace asked curiously.
“Well, I’ve been looking in to Stanford and I’m pretty interested.” Sienna replied after swallowing a mouthful of delicious crème brulee.
“Stanford? You never told me you were thinking about Stanford, that’s all the way in California.” Logan remarked disconcertedly and took a sip of his bourbon. Logan’s family unbelievably let him drink even though he was clearly underage. His father believed that it’s better to teach children to drink responsibly and to drink under adult supervision rather than abolishing alcohol and turning it in to the forbidden fruit that teenagers will seek out and drink in excess. A part of her agreed with him, the other part of her screamed ‘this is the guy running for senate?’ Jake took a large gulp of his drink as he noticed the tension between the couple.
“I was just looking in to it. Its not for sure.” She replied meekly.
“Well, what are you going to major in?” Mr. Jackson asked.
“I’m not sure yet.” She replied meekly wanting nothing more than to snatch the drink out of Logan’s hands and drown it in one go. Awkward silence followed as Sienna saw his parents exchange a look, the look that read that ‘this girl is not the one for our son but we will pretend to accept her until he finds someone better’.
“You know, Logan’s going to go to Harvard next year.” Mr. Jackson informed her proudly. “He’s going to be a lawyer. ” he said proudly.
“Right.” Logan replied feebly and drank the rest of his bourbon in one gulp.
“Or maybe, you’ll follow in your old man’s footsteps and become a senator one day, and eventually president.” He guffawed and placed his hand upon his shoulder and squeezed it. Logan felt as if he was suffocating with all of these expectations placed upon him. He felt Sienna’s fingers gently caress his palm reviving his courage.
“What if I didn’t want to go to Harvard?” he asked.
“What? What kind of a question is that? Of course you want to go to Harvard, you always have ever since you were a boy. What has suddenly changed?” he asked sternly moving his hand away from him as if Logan’s bizarre questions physically repelled him. Mr. Jackson’s eyes flicked towards Sienna for a second putting two and two together.
“Look Harvard is great, but is there really any harm in looking around? Maybe there’s something else out there to study that’s perfect for me. Somewhere else.” Logan persuaded.
“Like Stanford maybe?” his mother asked dryly and smiled at Sienna knowingly as she slipped her 1995 Chateaux Marguax. Sienna gulped and looked around the room wearily. They were pinning this on her.
“I don’t know about Stanford but there’s no harm in broadening my horizons and looking in to other options.” He replied smoothly.
“The food was so great today mom, did Celia use that fancy wine again?” Jack chirped in sensing the growing tension in the room.
“I wouldn’t know, I haven’t set foot in that kitchen for years.” She replied airily still not taking her eyes off Sienna for a second. Who was this girl who appeared as if from nowhere and had such a hold over her son? Growing up Logan had only one female friend and she was shy and quirky and wore braces and had no curves at all. Sienna was the last girl on Earth Grace had thought to worry about capturing her son’s affections. She had always worried that Logan was too vivacious and promiscuous and fun loving to ever fall in love so young, yet he had. The girl sitting in front of her was clearly now a beautiful young woman, smart, polite, well mannered, but there was something rather off about her. Grace couldn’t put her finger on exactly what but she knew in her gut this girl was dark in some way.
“Logan, stop being foolish, you’re going to Harvard next year and that’s that.” His father told him sternly and handed his glass to Lawson for a refill. Lawson looked at her with pitying yet unsurprised brown eyes.
“So Sienna what does your mother do?” Grace asked curiously.
“She’s a stay at home mom.” She replied.
&nb
sp; “Oh, so how do you afford all your bills and such?” she asked inquisitively causing Sienna to squirm in her seat slightly.
“My sisters work and so do I technically… well… I’ve been doing a lot of babysitting this summer and waitressing.” She stammered nervously.
“Waitressing? Delightful.” She said sarcastically and flashed her blinding condescending white smile.
“I’ll have another please, Lawson.” Jake said and passed his whiskey glass to the butler whilst staring at Sienna wide eyed mentally apologizing for his mother’s audacious behavior. Logan didn’t witness the interaction between his mother and his girl, as he was too deep in to his argument with his father.
“I’m eighteen years old in a few months! I’ll be an adult. I can do whatever the hell I want.” He retorted.
“Not with my money you won’t.” Mr. Jackson scoffed back.
“What’s your mother’s maiden name? If you don’t mind me asking of course.” Grace asked charmingly. “Santos.” She replied perplexed by her line of questioning.
“Didn’t you have a maid here called Luciana Santos, all those years ago, Bobby?” she smirked at her husband.
“Didn’t she practically raise you?” she joked.
“Yes, she did. May she rest in peace. She was a very kind hearted woman.” Mr. Jackson said fondly.
“What are you serious?” Logan asked confused by her mother’s sudden question.
“Didn’t your mother throw her out for some reason?” she asked knowing full well the answer.
“Mom, how many of those did you drink?” Logan asked sharply feeling completely embarrassed by his mom’s behavior. What the hell was wrong with her? She was perfectly fine earlier on.
“Excuse me, may I go to the restroom please?” Sienna asked courteously.
“Of course dear, it’s across the hall and three doors to your left.” Mr. Jackson replied nicely. ‘Great, now they all feel sorry for me. I think I liked it better when they thought I was crushing their son’s dreams’ she thought sourly as she made her way towards the bathroom.
“What did he say again?” she mumbled to herself.
“Four doors to the left, right?” she wondered to herself. She looked around and for once there was not a single maid in sight. She turned the fancy golden knob of the door and walked in to find a dimly lit library. It was absolutely beautiful. The room was filled with tall glass wardrobes with rows and rows of perfectly stacked books. As a passionate lover of books Sienna couldn’t help but walk over to the glass and peer at the books. Dickens, Bronte, Austen, Wilde, Hemmingway, Shakespeare, the list went on. Mr. Jackson had clearly spent a lot of time and by the looks of it money investing in a lot of first edition classic novels. She couldn’t help but smile and be so carried away in her curiosity that she had momentarily forgotten the events that had just occurred. She went over to the grand desk where presumably Mr. Jackson did a lot of his work and her eyes fell to a letter. Sienna was not usually a nosy person but she was so taken aback by the grandeur of the mansion she couldn’t help but look. Her heart almost stopped as she read the initials at the end of the letter,RAJ written in exactly the same handwriting as the letters she had found. That was impossible. She didn’t believe it. She wouldn’t believe it.
“Ah, I see you found my dad’s lair.” Logan stood by the doorway.
“What’s wrong?” he asked as he noticed the tears rolling down her face.
“Hey, come here.” He cooed and held her tight against him.
“My dad’s a dick. My mom’s a drunk. My brother’s a mute and my girl can’t stop crying.” He chuckled and caressed her hair gently.
“I’m so sorry about my mom. I had no idea about your grandma too. Did you know?” he asked confusedly. Sienna remained frozen in his arms unable to cry, unable to feel, she was numb. Nothing made sense. If what she was thinking was true then why didn’t Mr. Jackson flip out on her?
“I’m sorry my mom interrogated you. She can be overprotective and insensitive at times. I’m sorry about dinner, it was supposed to be amazing. Tonight was supposed to be amazing.” He sighed and pulled her face up to kiss her showing her how much he loved her. He let his fingers brush through her silken dark hair and she let him hold her against him intimately, caressing her just the way he knew she liked it.
“Stop.” She tried to whisper but it came out as a moan. Logan was so lost in his building desire for her that he took that as a sign of encouragement and pushed her against his father’s glorified desk.
“You’re so beautiful.” He said breathily marveling at the way she made him feel. She had no idea of the hold she had on him.
“We shouldn’t.” she breathed out as he kissed her neck longingly.
“My father’s gone out. We had an argument. I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t come back tonight. He does that sometimes. My mom is allergic to reading and I don’t think Jake even knows about the library. No one will come in here.” He said lowly in her ear sending shivers down her spine and began kissing her again. She looked over to the door to find it firmly shut. She wondered when that had even happened. She kissed him back no longer holding back but stopped immediately as she realized what she had crumpled up beneath her clenching hand, the letter with the initials RAJ written on it. She felt his hand slowly rising up her bare leg all the way up to her hip and shoved him away from her ending their kiss abruptly. She wiped her mouth and stood unsteadily finding it rather hard to stand without still leaning against the desk.
“What’s wrong?” he asked this time a little more exasperatedly and ran his fingers through his hair. He had never felt so frustrated in his life.
“I thought you wanted this!” he sighed.
“I did. I still do.” She replied instantly realizing she might have hurt his feelings.
“Then what’s the problem?” he asked and began kissing her again.
“Your dad.” She whispered as she broke away from his lips once more. Logan froze and blinked twice very slowly.
“Okay…I totally wasn’t expecting that. No girl has ever said that to me right before we were about to-”
“R-A-J.” Sienna cut in and showed him the crumpled letter.
“Initials not a name. Robert Aaron Jackson. It’s the exact same handwriting.’
“Its three letters Sienna, you can hardly distinguish between your biological father’s handwriting from just three letters.” He retorted with a disgusted look on his face.
“Its impossible. Come on, you’ve got it completely wrong.”
“Maybe, but your mom was talking about the maid who raised him. Her name was Luciana Santos exactly the same name as my grandmother’s. It’s no coincidence. My mom said that my biological father and her used to play together and that her mother was worked for his family!” she hissed and felt the bile rising up her throat. If her suspicions were true then her dreams and happiness was shattered for sure. Logan remained quiet and impassive staring ahead deep in thought.
“Logan?” she called.
“Say something.” She said as the silence stretched on. He then finally looked to her and smiled at her gently.
“Whatever you’re thinking. It’s not true. It’s impossible. My father would never just sit there at dinner watching his offspring date for god’s sake! I mean my father is mean, sordid, adulterous, unfaithful, controlling, he’s every bad name in the book but he’s not exactly a big fan of incest. You said to me earlier that in the letter your biological father knew you existed. The letter read ‘our little girl’ right? Maybe… just maybe, and lets not get ahead of ourselves, but if my father did have a daughter with your mom, I don’t think its you.”
“Annie?” Sienna gasped hoping to God that Logan’s theory was true.
“Think about it. You know I’m right. Besides, look at us. We look nothing alike. You have olive skin, I’m in much need of a sunbed, you have brown hair, I have black, you have green eyes, and I have dark eyes. We couldn’t be more different if we tried.” He made
a great case. His father was right, Logan would in fact make a great lawyer one day if he wanted to. Sienna thought back to Annie’s raven colored hair and dimpled smile. It made more sense. Or was this her brain’s way of trying to reason with the fact that she was completely in love with and sexually attracted to a possible brother? She squelched that thought immediately.
“Besides,” he whispered and held her hands in his.
“Does this feel wrong?” he asked.
“No.” she answered honestly. She looked in to eyes and knew. The bond she shared with him was like no bond she shared with no one before. He was her best friend and her lover.
“Does this feel wrong?” he purred and kissed her causing her again to feel weak in the knees. She shook her head no in fear of mumbling out nonsensical garbage and making a fool out of herself. He smirked and put his arm around her shoulder.
“Let me take you home.” he said.
6.
Logan walked her up to her house and kissed her goodnight filling her completely with love and affection and erasing of all her worries from her flustered mind. As she entered her home, all the lights were turned out in the passageway. Her heels clicked and clacked against the hardwood floors. The sound echoed around the seemingly empty silent house. Sienna leaned against the banister and looked up the stairs listening for any sound of human life. She twirled her keys around her fingers deep in thought. Everyone must already be in bed. She turned to go upstairs but stopped abruptly and turned to walk towards the kitchen to find her mother sitting in the dark with a half empty bottle of white wine. She switched the lights on and took a seat next to her mother on the floor.