by Harper, Ali
“Sienna, look. You have visitors!” she said. Sienna continued to stare blankly ahead as if she couldn’t hear her. Ebony kneeled close to her and whispered her name. She slowly responded by blinking her eyes rapidly as if from waking from a deep slumber. Her mother and eldest sisters stood by the doorway looking clearly uncomfortable in their surroundings. Sienna turned back to the TV.
“Don’t you think you should at least go and say hello?” Ebony urged politely. Sienna sighed and walked towards them and pulled out a chair at a table. They followed suit and sat down on the chairs opposing her. Her sisters were dressed casually in jeans and shirts. Her mother on the other hand was wearing a long knee-length and looked fresh faced and better than she had in months.
“How are you?” she asked as she sat perched on the edge of her chair as if she could catch something from it. She glanced around nervously. They were acting like they were visiting her in prison and not in hospital. Sienna shrugged in response.
“You’re still not talking?” Cora asked anxiously staring at the ghost of a sister.
“Sienna, you have to talk to us eventually. All this bottling up is not doing anyone any good.” Meredith hissed and leaned forward on the table. Sienna looked behind the trio confused.
“We thought it best if Annie didn’t see you like this so Candice is watching her.” Her mother explained uneasily. Then silence followed as they watched her eerily. Sienna didn’t understand why they even bothered to visit. They would initially come for ten minutes everyday in the first week, now they would come once a week, Sienna was sure they if she stayed here any longer she’d probably only get a Christmas card at the holidays.
“Your doctor said you haven’t been taking your medication properly.” Maria whispered and tried to take her daughter’s hand. Sienna immediately snatched her hand away and clenched it in her lap. She didn’t like it when people touched her.
“I met a guy, his name is Greg. He’s an orthodontist.” Meredith said trying to spike up conversation. Sienna couldn’t help but smirk. Her sister was twenty-three years old. This guy had to be at least a few years older.
‘How did you two meet? Oh he gave me braces and our hands touched as he passed me my retainer. That was when I knew he was the one.’ Sienna chuckled at the thought. More awkward silence ensued.
“Sienna, you know Logan’s just some dirt bag loser who’ll get what’s coming to him.” Meredith said venomously. Sienna turned her head in annoyance. She may have been hurt and stung by that bastard in the cruelest way yet she still flinched when someone said a bad word against him. She hated herself for wanting to defend him. Even the mention of his name ruptured the dam of emotions she had been holding at bay for weeks.
“I heard he had surgery on his leg. He can walk again and his shoulder’s getting better. Just in case you wanted to know.” Her mother told her quickly. The knowledge comforted her. At least he was well and she wouldn’t have to feel guilty for crippling him.
“Why would she care? He’s an asshole.” Meredith shouted eagerly as tears flew past Sienna’s fragile face.
“Meredith, lower your voice!” their mother hissed as several of the patients looked their way curiously.
“How can you even cry over him?” she asked frustrated.
“He used you. He pretended to like you and drove you around town in his fancy car and took you to prom, all so he could sleep with you then dump you! Don’t you see how despicable and low he is?” she snapped petulantly with her voice going higher and higher by the second.
“Meredith!” her mother scolded as she watched Sienna’s face crumple and her body shake with silent sobs. Her daughter was hurting. Hurting so much that there was nothing she could do to stop the pain. She remembered the distress and the anguish that came along with her first heartbreak. It was like watching history repeat itself all over again. Robert had claimed to love her. Then he left for college only returning years later with a glamorous rich girl on his arm that he then married and acted as though she didn’t even exist. It must have been worse for Sienna. She was younger, more fragile, more broken. She was already ill. She didn’t deserve any of this. It was that boy’s fault. Maria hated him with every ounce of her being.
“He’s scum. The sooner you get over him, the sooner you can get better and come home!” she yelled.
“Is everything alright here?” Ebony asked sensing the growing tension and stood next to Sienna.
“No. Ebony, I want to go to my bed.” Sienna said softly in a girlish voice and stood up.
“Okay.” She replied surprised and took the girl to her room.
Sienna jumped in to her single bed before Ebony could even shut the door. Sienna buried herself under the covers, wanting and needing to hide herself from the world. She didn’t sleep of course. Instead she lay there for what felt like hours but could have been only minutes as she stared through the tiny corner barred window. It was raining outside. It was cold inside also. She could hear familiar voices. She jumped up and extremely quietly opened her door as she listened to her mother talking to Dr. Nichols, her therapist. They were so deep in conversation they didn’t notice the little head that bobbed out of her room door at the end of the corridor.
“She’s making very little progress. She’s not been sleeping, eating or even speaking or engaging in group therapy or in her private sessions. I’m sorry Mrs. Rivers but she is nowhere close to going home yet until she shows significant signs of improvement.” The good doctor said apologetically.
“But she spoke today and she’s been doing her reading and she was talking to her care worker Ebony.” Her mother explained nervously desperate to get her out of this bedlam of a hospital.
“I’m sorry.” He replied as he walked off. Sienna had already missed an entire month of junior year, if she missed any more than she wouldn’t have time to take her SAT’s this year. She silently closed the door and leaned against it breathing heavily. She did not want to spend another night in the hospital. The girls here quite literally added new meaning to the adjective ‘insane’. One girl Sarah believed herself to be the Virgin Mary and kept stuffing pillows under her dress asking people to rub her bump for blessings from Jesus. She’d later found out from some of the other girls that Sarah was a teen mom who had lost both of her infant children from cot death.
Then there were the criers who wailed at night and were dragged off to god knows where, and of course then there were the real wackjobs who made it their life’s mission to laugh randomly and sing and dance and sometimes talk like children. She did not belong here. There was nothing wrong with her. So what if she was a little sad? Who wouldn’t be after finding their father’s dead body after he shot himself and having been used and dumped by the only boy they had ever loved? She needed to get out. Now.
She was determined the next few days to show her progress. She took all her medication, participated in group therapy, lied expertly about she was feeling much better and more awake. So when she heard her doctor tell her mother she still wasn’t ready three weeks later Sienna decided that drastic measures needed to be taken. She had spotted a large piano on the side of the games room for weeks.
“Do you play?” Ebony asked as she saw Sienna eyeing the instrument.
“Do I play?’ Sienna chuckled.
“Yes, I play.” She replied politely realizing she was sounding slightly manic. Tone it down! You want to go home don’t you? She took a seat on the bench and let her fingers lightly graze over the keyboard.
“Would you like me to get you some music sheets?’ Ebony asked perplexedly.
“No, that won’t be necessary. Thank you.” Sienna replied and closed her eyes briefly.
She began playing Rachmaninov’s Rhapsody on a theme of Paganini in A minor op.43 variation 18 on the piano giving it her all, her long elegant fingers moved rapidly over the keyboard as the song built up more and more in tension Sienna began nodding her head along only stopping to she pause momentarily to hear the beautiful sounds of the violins in her head.
She looked around to see the patients intently looking and listening to her play. They applauded eager for more. Oh boy. Sienna did not like the idea of an audience but Dr. Nichols was standing by the door watching intently seemingly pleased by the ‘progress’. She continued to play a little more. It had always been her favorite. Her father had taught her how to play. They even owned a Yamaha once but ended up selling it due to her mother disliking it taking up so much space.
“That was beautiful. How do you feel?’ Ebony asked happily.
“Good. I feel good.” Sienna admitted honestly. She had forgotten the euphoric feeling playing music gave her. It always soothed her down. Later that night Sienna slept soundly for the first time in what felt like forever. Dr. Nichols finally let her go home. After staying in the hospital for six weeks, Sienna almost forgot how it felt to walk outside freely without anyone minding and supervising her, watching her every move. She sat on her porch enjoying the cold autumn breeze against her face.
“Sienna, you can’t keep missing school. You can’t just sit on that porch forever.” Her mother told her as she shut the front door behind her and wrapped a blanket around her.
“I know. Tomorrow, I promise.” She whispered.
“What are you thinking about?” Maria asked wishing she knew what on earth went on in that mind.
“You wouldn’t understand.” Sienna replied quietly and stood up to leave.
“If you keep pushing everyone away you’ll end up alone.” Maria said.
“That’s the idea.” Sienna mumbled and went inside.
“You ready?” Candice asked as she drew up in to the high school parking lot. Her mother didn’t trust Sienna to drive yet just in case she decided to drive off a cliff somewhere someday. Great.
“No. But I just have to get through the next few moths than high school will officially be over.” She replied and took a deep breath before getting out of the car. ‘I can do this. I thought I’d be really nervous to be back in school.” She chuckled and looked around.
“High school’s not that bad. It’s so overrated.” Sienna smiled at Candice. A red blur at the corner of Sienna’s eye caught her attention and she jumped back in to the car as Logan’s cherry red Mustang drove past.
“Give me the keys!” she hissed getting in to the driver’s seat.
“What? No! Sienna! Get out of the car!” Candice hissed as Sienna locked the doors.
“What are you going to do sit in the car all day? You’re supposed to be the smart one!” Candice chided and unlocked the door with the key.
“No. I’m the crazy one. Which is why I think it’s a better idea to stay in the car.” Sienna instantly replied trying to shut the door but Candice’s body was firmly lodged in between the gap.
“Fine!” Sienna hissed and got out of the car. She could see Logan behind his car laughing with Trent about something. ‘Probably about me’ she thought miserably. She hated him. She loved him. She hated him again. It was an endless cycle. He was on the passenger side of the car and as he moved out she could see him on his crutches.
“It’s his first day back as well, from rehab.” Candice whispered following her gaze.
“I thought mom said he was perfectly recovered.” Sienna said.
“I think it’s just his leg but he told me the cast is coming off next week.” Candice replied nonchalantly.
“Come on, we’re going to be late!” she nagged and went ahead without her.
“You spoke to him? When?” Sienna asked confused but Candice had already sprinted off to Logan and Trent.
Sienna couldn’t believe the betrayal. She was her cousin, not his. Yet she was laughing and talking and comforting him after the way he had treated her. Sienna could scarcely believe her eyes. Almost as if sensing her presence, Logan looked up and found himself lost in those luminous green eyes he loved so much it scared him. The icy look she gave him hit him like a dart to the chest. This look was absolutely foreign and new to him. She quickly walked past without so much as a glance back. Sienna walked through the halls, her heart hammering in her chest. She could feel everyone’s eyes on her as she made her way to her locker. Someone had spray-painted the word “Skitso” on her locker. She turned around to find Bethany and some of her other cheerleading friends like Becca and even Rose giggling and smirking at her.
“Poor little Beth still can’t spell, can she? It’s S-C-H-I-T-ZO. If you’re going to spray it at least spell it right, moron.” Sienna hissed loudly enough for everyone in the hallway to turn and stare.
“Uh, yeah whatever crazy pants like I care. Everybody knows you’re insane.” She said in that annoying high-pitched haughty tone. She scoffed at her friends saying, “Am I right?” and laughed.
“Shouldn’t you be in a special retard school? Or at least somewhere they keep electric chairs?” she asked. “Says the special needs dyslexic who can’t even spell schitzo.” Sienna replied smugly and turned to open her locker. Bethany so was not worth it. Sienna took her notepad out as the girls continued to taunt her. “So how was the nuthouse anyway?” Bethany asked out of morbid curiosity. The hallway was filled with half the youth of Haven Falls who were all staring at her intently.
“It was fine.” Sienna replied and moved to pass them but it seemed as though the entire cheerleading squad seemed determined to block her way.
“I heard you got electroconvulsive therapy. Is that true?” she asked eagerly with her hands on her hips. She even flicked her ponytail over her shoulder.
“Beth! Electroconvulsive! You know a big word! Good for you!” Sienna said mockingly and smiled spectacularly at her. Bethany’s screwed her eyes at Sienna angrily. The school bell rang but no one was going anywhere. The hottest girl on girl catfight was about to go down. No one was wanted to miss this.
“You think you’re so smart don’t you?” Bethany sneered and came only inches away from Sienna’s face. “Well not smart so much as intuitive, ingenious, intelligent, attentive not to mention freakishly strong.” Sienna hissed.
“People like you shouldn’t be allowed to set foot in schools. My mother has already started a petition to get you out of this school. You and your people, you’re a danger to society. You should all be put down.” She sneered. Sienna looked around, at the curious and some worried faces that stared at her as if she were a ticking time bomb. She suppressed the urge to start singing ‘Pumped up kicks’ just to watch them run.
“Look, I don’t want to hurt you little girl. So run along and play with your dolls.”
“There are seven of us and only one of you.” Bethany retorted adamantly.
“Yeah but like you said I’m crazy. Crazy equals to at least five people. Must be all the superpowers I picked up from the electroconvulsive therapy.” Sienna smirked at Bethany’s immaturity and stupidity. She looked behind Bethany’s shoulder.
“Six.” Sienna remarked as Rose took a couple tentative steps back.
“We’re going to kick your scrawny little ass.” She hissed.
“You will? Well all I can hear is all talk and no action. Sorry nerds no hot girl on girl action today, nothing is happening today, you might as well run to your physics class now.” She shooed the masses away just as Bethany pushed Sienna back against the lockers. Sienna didn’t like it when anyone touched her. She didn’t like it one bit.
“We’re going to kick your ass til you’re crying out on the floor.” Becca one of Bethany’s sidekicks hissed.
“Mm, you said. And you’re probably right. But I wonder how many noses I’ll break and how many faces I’ll rearrange before then?” Sienna retorted before she sucker punched Bethany square in the face causing her to fall to the ground with blood spurting out of her broken nose.
“I guess only one.” Sienna said unsurprisingly and picked up her books as the others instantly backed away.
“My nose!” Bethany cried.
“I’d get some ice on that if I were you.” Sienna said nonchalantly and shook her hand.
“You frickin’ crazy b
itch!”
“Yes, I thought we had already established that.” Sienna chuckled and left the shocked hallway behind her as she made her way straight to the Principal’s office. She knew she would be sent there anyway. Principal Sharpe was dressed in her usual grey pantsuit and called Sienna in after a few minutes and asked her to sit down.
“Sienna, it’s your first day back and already you have grievously attacked a student.” Sharpe sighed. She was sick and tired of seeing the same face in her office all the time. In all fairness Sienna was getting pretty fed up of seeing Principal Sharpe’s wrinkled face too.
“Perhaps your doctors were wrong. Perhaps you’re still a danger to yourself and to others around you. Perhaps you’re not ready to come back to school.” The Principal supposed. “Or perhaps doctors are more qualified than high school principals in the art of psychiatry and diagnosing and treating their patients!” Sienna screamed in her head. Instead aloud she said, “You may be completely right.”
“What?” Sharpe said confused. She had expected Sienna’s usual outrageous retorts and remarks. “You know best. I mean you are the high school principal. You’ve heard Bethany’s side of the story so obviously you know the truth of what happened. So if you want to expel me than by all means go ahead.” Sienna replied politely and looked at Sharpe with her big Bambi eyes and angelic expression. “Your father’s death hit us all pretty hard, Sienna.” She said somberly.
“Perhaps suspension will be a more fitting punishment?” Sienna suggested ignoring Sharpe’s attempts to bind over the late not so great Phillip Rivers.