Caught by Her

by GL Chapple

  “What’s happened?” I asked worriedly, and he grimaced.

  “He’s ok. He’s drunk and has turned up at…”

  “Drunk?” I interrupted him, glancing at the clock. It was barely 7.30 in the morning.

  Nate dragged his hand over his face and sighed again. “I’ve gotta go, Sweetheart and you need to get to work. I’ll catch up with you later.” He came and kissed me lightly before going upstairs to get a tee shirt.

  I considered asking if he wanted me to go with him but knew that he needed time with Marcus alone. I just hoped he’d be able to help him.

  I drove into work feeling distracted. I hadn’t been able to pluck up the courage to ask Nate about the night he’d been hurt. I doubted whether he would talk to me about it anyway, and I wasn’t sure that I could handle listening to him telling me exactly what had happened.

  My imagination was bad enough.

  I hated to think about what he had been through, and thinking of Lindsay was devastating. He’d lost friends when he was away on deployment and he’d spoken to me about his time in combat, but as I knew Lindsay, somehow this felt more real. I knew that it played on his mind: he’d woken up a few times with his heart pounding and startled as if from a nightmare. I’d lain awake next to him, listening to him calm himself down, waiting for his breathing to get back to normal and his pulse to stop jumping through his skin to mine. He’d held onto me sometimes as if checking I was still there in his arms, sometimes kissing my head, sometimes murmuring into my hair that he’d never let anyone hurt me. I hated to hear him like this and longed to reach out to him but I knew that he’d be upset to know that I’d witnessed his moment of weakness.

  When, after the first time, I’d asked him how he’d slept and if he’d had a bad dream, he’d looked at me questioningly but denied it, so I’d let it go. Maybe it wasn’t the best way to handle it, but I knew that he’d talk to me when he was ready.

  Walking through the double doors into work, I’d occasionally still find myself looking for Byron. The thought of what had happened to him made my skin crawl. There had been so much ugliness lately – though I was really happy at the moment. My father hadn’t pressed for additional security and, now that the letters had stopped, I didn’t see the need to hire anyone else.

  The receptionist didn’t arrive until 8 and most staff came in between 8 and 8.30, so it was relatively quiet. I headed up to my office and smiled at Anna as I walked past. She held out my coffee to me and waved as she continued to speak on the phone. Sitting in my chair, I switched on the computer and took a sip of coffee, ready to start the day.

  I decided to leave at four. The day had been productive; I’d spoken to Claire and Paul, who were both going to be promoted to work jointly beneath me as Vice CEO and Manager of Operations.

  I’d received a text from Nate not long after arriving in work, confirming that everything was fine and he’d see me later, but I hadn’t heard anything since. I’d resisted calling or texting him back in case I’d be disturbing him and Marcus.

  Walking into the house, I could see both of them sprawled on either sofa. They were both sleeping and there were empty bottles of Grey Goose and a Jack Daniels on the table. I made my way in slowly and quietly. I’d considered turning around and going back to my house, but I knew Marcus would feel awkward and Nate would be less than impressed.

  I quickly went upstairs to change before coming back down quietly and cleaning up around them. Once the bottles had been tidied away and the place looked presentable again, I began to cook.

  I was humming to myself in the kitchen when I heard movement behind me. I turned to see Marcus sitting up and running his hands through his hair. He flashed me a guilty look, stood and walked towards me, “Sorry, Lena. I’ll get out of your hair now. I must have fallen asleep.”

  I grinned at him and pointed at the bar stool under the breakfast bar. “You’ll do no such thing, Marcus. Sit your backside down and get ready to eat. I bet neither of you has eaten anything all day. You’re going to have a killer hangover! Let me give you some greasy food. D’ya need tablets?” I raised my eyebrow at him and he gave me a small smile whilst shaking his head slightly. I poured him a glass of water and put it in front of him.

  He looked at it for a moment before turning back to me. “Thank you.” He glanced back at his sleeping friend and spoke softly whilst looking at Nate. “I’m glad he found you, Lena. You’re good for each other. You make each other happy…” He turned back to look directly at me. His eyes shone with intensity, “Don’t let things that happened in the past define you or the choices you make. Make choices based on the here and now, on the way you feel and the happiness you deserve, not on shitty things that have no bearing on the person you are now or the life you live. Don’t waste time, Lena - You never have as much as you think.”

  His words were powerful, laced with his own pain and hitting me square in the gut. I felt my eyes fill with tears. I went to move towards him, but he shook his head and closed his eyes for a second to compose himself. Opening them again, he gave me small, sad smile, the pain still so evident it was heartbreaking. “I’m not making this about me. I just want to see you guys happy. You both deserve it, and clearly that’s what you make each other.”

  A groan caught our attention, and I turned to see Nate raising himself to his feet. He gave me the same apologetic look that Marcus had, making me laugh.

  “You two realise you’re grown men, right? I don’t know why you’re both looking at me like naughty boys I’m about to spank!”

  Marcus spluttered as he drank the water, and I realised what I’d said.

  Nate laughed as he walked over, slapping Marcus on the back and giving me a cheeky grin. “If that’s what you’re into, Sweetheart, you only had to say.” He winked at me and I felt myself flush as they both went on laughing.

  I huffed at the pair of them, “I take it back. You’re both juveniles!” I scolded them, turning away so they wouldn’t see the smile on my face.

  I’d been lucky in my life that I’d only ever attended one funeral. It was for my grandmother on my mother’s side, and I’d only just turned 16. I’d begged my parents to allow me to go, not because I’d been particularly close to her, but because I’d wanted to act like a grown-up.

  Today I’d have given anything to have been able to hide away and not face reality. The sun was shining in a clear blue sky: it was a beautiful day, in total contrast to the dark cloud that was hanging over us.

  Nate had been quiet all morning and I’d not pressed him. He’d asked Marcus to stay over the night before, but Marcus had refused, apologising again for crashing out on the sofa before leaving to go home. I’d offered to drive him back, but he’d insisted on getting a taxi.

  Nate had been quiet and distracted for the rest of the evening. We’d cuddled up on the sofa, and I’d fallen asleep on him while watching a film.

  I’d woken up in his bed at almost six this morning. When I’d questioned him about getting me to bed, he’d given me a cocky smirk, rolling his eyes when I’d complained to him that he should have woken me and that he wasn’t strong enough to be carrying me about. He’d not said much else, though - just jumped in the shower and pottered about. He seemed to be trying to keep himself occupied.

  I sat waiting for Nate on the sofa. He walked down the stairs, and the sight of him made my stomach flip. He looked so striking, so handsome and official. He carried his hat and gloves in his hand. It didn’t feel right to tell him how gorgeous he looked, and asking him how he felt was ridiculous, considering the turmoil that my own heart, stomach and mind were in.

  “You ready?” I asked, and he nodded. “I’ll drive, - if you like?”

  He looked at me, startled, before his customary smirk appeared. “No thanks, Sweetheart. I’d like us to get there in one piece.” He winked at me and ushered me out the door.

  We didn’t speak on the ride over. I knew that he was preoccupied with unhappy thoughts but that no words from me could help.
We got there early. Marcus and Nate had been asked to be pallbearers at Lindsay’s family’s request. Obviously, her family knew of her relationship with Marcus, and were aware that it wasn’t common knowledge.

  I met Kelly and waited with her whilst Nate and Marcus disappeared inside. “How’s Marcus?” I asked.

  She shook her head sadly, “He won’t talk to me about it. We’re so close, but it’s as if he’s shut me out completely. He needs to talk to someone. For him to get close to someone, like that…” she shook her head and exhaled heavily, “…that was huge for Marcus.” She was on the brink of tears and I reached out to hold her hand.

  She squeezed it gratefully and turned away to watch the cars arriving. I took that to mean she didn’t want to talk anymore and fell silent, watching the cars with her.

  I’d never seen so many police officers all in one place. They were all in full uniform, wearing their hats and standing around in small groups.

  I kept watching the cars searching for Maddie. I’d offered to pick her up, but she was coming off a night shift. She wanted to get in an hour’s sleep before coming and didn’t want to delay us, knowing that Nate needed to be here early. Kelly noticed her before me and pointed her out to me as she walked over to us. She threw her arms around me, and held me tightly before doing the same to Kelly.

  The church doors opened as the officers started to form a guard of honour. It was a beautiful sight. I felt my eyes swimming with tears as they all stood shoulder to shoulder. I hoped this camaraderie would help Nate and Marcus to get through today.

  The service was emotional. I felt my heart break as I watched Nate and Marcus, their faces etched with pain, heartache and hurt, carrying her coffin. It was covered in a black cloth bearing her hat and a huge bouquet of white lilies. The church was full, with many people standing at the back and even outside the main doors. It seemed that every police officer in the area had turned out, as well as all the senior-ranking officials.

  Her father stood and spoke of his love for his daughter, describing her in youth and making us laugh and cry with stories that he said he’d kept filed away for her wedding. He spoke of how she’d recently found love, and that he’d never seen her so happy. He credited this man with giving his daughter the best last few weeks that she’d had in a long time.

  Tears streamed down my face, and I knew without looking that it would be the same with Kelly and Maddie. I could see that Nate was clasping Marcus’ hand, but they both sat stiffly, faces sombre and blank. Lindsay’s father didn’t name this man but thanked him for loving their daughter.

  I felt as if my heart was shattering into a thousand pieces as Marcus dropped his head to look down at his hands. I reached across to comfort Kelly, knowing how upset she was that Marcus was hurting so badly. I was glad that Nate could be there for him.

  After the ceremony, we were led out and I shook hands with Lindsay’s parents and brother, who smiled weakly at me. They looked utterly distraught, and I hoped that I would never have to know pain like that.

  The girls and I sat outside on a small bench, whilst we waited for Nate and Marcus, who had declined the request to attend the wake and had stopped to speak to Lindsay’s family.

  I couldn’t imagine that Marcus would have the strength to go through much more today.

  As they walked towards us, I saw Nate catch Marcus by the arm to make him stop, to speak to him for a little while before joining us.

  They walked forward again, reaching us, and Nate asked if anyone wanted to head back to ours. I bit my lip gently to stop myself from smiling at his slip, but I saw that Maddie had caught it too as she grinned at me.

  She looked demented with mascara stains down her face. “Sounds good to me. I’ve just checked my phone, and they have managed to get cover for tonight so I’m off work now.”

  We turned to look at Kelly and Marcus. Marcus frowned, but agreed and Kelly flashed a relieved smile.

  The afternoon was spent drinking too much and chatting about random things, something that Maddie excelled at, and, despite the sadness, she managed to make us all laugh. I had the idea to look up drinking games on the internet, and the hours flew by. The atmosphere was slightly strained and there was still a lingering dark cloud, but it was good that Marcus wasn’t alone.

  I knew that, as worried as Nate was for his friend, he too had to be hurting at losing Lindsay. I went into the kitchen to fetch some more drinks and jumped as I turned and found Nate standing right behind me.

  He grinned and wrapped his arms around me, pushing me back against the fridge. “Thank you,” he whispered before leaning down and kissing me gently.

  I smiled against his lips. “For what?” I asked, as we broke apart.

  “For being you,” he said, taking the drinks and walking back into the room with them.

  Before I could join the others, Maddie came into the kitchen. I cringed, laughing, as she drew out a long, “Weeeell…..” Sat herself down at the breakfast bar and grinned at me. “C’mon, girlie. Spill! Since when is this ‘ours?’ Has he asked you to move in? Good God, girl, tell me you said yes and didn’t freak out!”

  I leaned back against the worktop, “I think that was a slip of the tongue. No, he hasn’t asked me to move in.”

  “I don’t believe for a second that Nate does anything with his tongue that’s not 100% committed and fully intended.” She smirked at me, making us both laugh. “But if he did? Ask you I mean…” she pressed.

  I sighed, losing the battle to keep the smile from showing on my face, “But he hasn’t.” I said firmly.

  Her eyes twinkled, “Oh my God!” she shrieked and I felt my cheeks warm.

  I turned away from her and busied myself clearing away the few glasses and drinks that had been left scattered around the kitchen.

  “Don’t avoid me, Ms. Nicholls…You’d move in, wouldn’t you? I’m teasing you - but you actually want to don’t you? Oh, my God, Lena…This is huge!” she squealed and I turned quickly to quieten her, my face scrunched up as I shushed her.

  “Tell me, then,” she insisted, only slightly quieter and I groaned. Standing just in front of her on the other side of the breakfast bar, I tried to look annoyed but couldn’t help the smile that was playing on my lips.

  She began to laugh, and I frowned at her as she struggled to speak through her spluttering. “He’s ruining you, Lena. You used to be able to perfect the don’t-fuck-with-me-bitch look without trying. Now you’re fighting a shit-eating grin! You can’t even manage the evil eye anymore. How are you gonna be able to maintain your ball-breaker status when you’re all loved up and satisfied?”

  I leaned back against the counter, crossing my arms and waiting for her to finish her mocking. She held up her hand laughing. “Ok, ok! Tell me!”

  “He hasn’t asked me to move in. He’s called it our place or home a few times, but I’m not sure if he means anything by it,” Maddie rolled her eyes at me but let me carry on speaking. “I didn’t think I’d want to move in. I love my house. It’s perfect and I have Anita…”

  She began to chuckle to herself again, shaking her head at me in exasperation. “You’re really clutching at straws, baby girl if you’re worrying about your cleaning lady! Stop making excuses and putting up obstacles, and say what you’d want to do. If he asked you now, what would you say? I can tell you now, Nate isn’t the type of guy to make numerous mistakes. He says what he thinks and what he means.” She looked at me pointedly and I swallowed.

  I knew this.

  I already knew that he wouldn’t have been saying those words by accident.

  I felt nervous - there were a million butterflies going crazy in my stomach - but I also felt sure.

  I wanted nothing more than to wake up with Nate and fall asleep in his arms.

  Marcus’ words from the day before had gone around in my head all night long. I didn’t want to waste time or resist doing things because I was worrying about what was essentially insignificant.

  Nate was my future; he
was my everything.

  I couldn’t imagine my life without him in it, and today had driven home again, just how quickly life can change or be snatched away.

  “Yes,” I whispered and she shrieked out loud, making me laugh and jump, and shout at her to be quiet as Nate stuck his head around the door.

  He looked amused, and asked if everything was alright, at which Maddie nodded enthusiastically at him, her head bobbing up and down wildly.

  I made her promise to keep quiet, and we went back to join the party. We’d all had a fair bit to drink; the mood was slowly becoming melancholy.

  Marcus stood up and announced that he was going to go home. Nate tried his best to persuade him to stay in the spare room, but he was adamant he wanted his own bed. I squeezed Nate’s hand, catching his eye and silently telling him to leave it. Marcus probably wanted some time alone to process the day and grieve in peace.

  We offered to put Kelly or Maddie up, but they both said that they too would go home. I think Kelly wanted to make sure Marcus got home ok and Maddie just looked at me, wickedly, pursing her lips and shaking her head.

  I asked her if she was going back to Christian and her smile faltered for a second before she regained her composure, smiling brightly. “Nope, he’s working tonight. It’s just going to be me, sleeping like a starfish!” She grinned at me and kissed me quickly on the cheek before walking out with the others.

  That was the second time that she’d brushed off my questions about Christian. I’d not seen him in weeks. I’d need to speak to her about it and check she was ok.

  I woke the next morning to Nate tracing lines absent-mindedly on my arms and shoulders. I stirred, and he looked down at me with a smile.

  “Sorry, Princess. I didn’t mean to wake you.” He whispered, kissing the top of my head, and I smiled back.

  “You didn’t,” I yawned, squinting against the brightness of the morning. “What time is it?” I asked and his smile grew, confirming to me that I’d slept late.