Forever: A Friends Novel

by Monica Murphy

  “You okay, Coach?” Ryan asks, squinting at him as he shakes his hair out of his eyes. He nudges me in the side, sending me a what’s-up-with-him look, and I try to keep a straight face.

  “Don’t stress,” I tell Halsey, clapping him on the shoulder as I start to walk past him. “We’ve got this.”

  “Christ, I don’t think I can take much more of this,” Halsey mumbles just as Ryan starts singing “We Are the Champions” as loud as possible, making the other guys on the sidelines laugh. “Don’t get too confident, Bennett!” Halsey yells after us. “I mean it!”

  Ryan shakes his head and mutters a string of curse words under his breath. “That old man has no faith in us, I swear to God,” he says, chock full of arrogance, as usual. The kid is a good football player and he freaking knows it. “We’re gonna blow his mind in approximately forty-five seconds, don’t you think? Wish I could see his face when I catch the winning touchdown. I’ve been practicing that back flip for the last two weeks. Tonight I’m going to bust it out right after I score. Spiking the ball in the end zone won’t be near satisfying enough.”

  “Keep your voice down,” I tell Ryan irritably. He’s too much sometimes. Too showy, full of too many words, too many hand gestures. I appreciate his confidence, and I can admit I have my own fair share of it. It’s what makes us better players. But I never clown it up.

  Ryan, though? He’ll get in people’s faces and brag about how great he is. He’ll sing loud songs and brag and shit talk until you want to tell him to shut the hell up. It’s annoying. No wonder his little brother Eli is such a cocky shit. He gets it all from his lame-ass older brother.

  “What’s the problem? Bro, you are way too uptight. We have got this. I’m just ready to mow them down and make them eat their shitty words when it’s over. Did you hear that one guy right before the first half ended? Said I had chicken legs. Started making clucking noises.” Ryan shakes his head, disgust written all over his face. “Motherfucker.”

  I did hear that guy and he knew just what to say to irritate the crap out of Ryan. And it worked. He’s most sensitive about his skinny legs. Yeah, you need physical abilities when you’re playing this game, but it’s one hundred percent a mental game too. If you’re thrown off by a few taunting words or a couple of rough hits, forget it. You could lose the entire game just because some asshole decides to call you chicken legs.

  “Forget that guy,” I tell Ryan as we approach the hydration station. “He’s just jealous because you can actually run while he can barely move.” That defensive guy slinging insults Ryan’s way was huge, built like a tank and slow as hell.

  Ryan keeps chattering and I nod like I’m listening, but I’m not. I’m looking for Amanda, searching until I find her standing just behind the hydration station, talking to Em. My chest goes tight when she lifts her gaze to mine like she can feel me watching her, a little smile curling her lips when she spots me. I smile back, unable to stop myself.

  I love having her on the sidelines during the games, especially tonight. It’s like I need her here to get through the game. Just seeing her wearing my old jersey and my number painted on her cheek makes my chest want to puff up with pride. Or yell out to anyone who’ll listen to me, “Hey, see that beautiful girl over there? She’s mine.”

  But I don’t need to say any of that. Everyone already knows she’s mine.

  “Man, you have got it so freaking bad for Amanda. You look like a total sap right now,” Ryan says irritably.

  I’m immediately annoyed. “What’s wrong with that? You have it bad for Livvy,” I say as we stop in front of the hydration station. Kyla hands us each a water bottle and we take them from her.

  “Nah, not really. It’s been rocky with her lately. She’s become distant. And I can’t remember the last time we had sex.” He swishes the water in his mouth before he spits it on the ground.

  Whatever. I take a drink, though not too much, because the nerves are starting to kick in. I know for a fact he and Livvy freaking did it not even a week ago, since he bragged to everyone about it. But I guess he forgot.

  “I’m moving on,” Ryan continues. Another fault of Ryan’s? He talks too much right before we have to go out on the field. “Got some other fine ass girls lined up for when we split, because it’s coming soon. I can feel it.” Ryan grins. “Gotta keep my options open, you know.”

  The crowd suddenly roars and we both turn to watch the other team run the ball in. Wonder if they’ll try for a two-point conversion. Then we’ll only be winning by two points and chaos could break loose if we don’t watch it. As in, they could sneak up and win this game.

  Hell.

  Halsey’s yelling for us. The other team is setting up, and since their kicker didn’t come out onto the field, I know they’re going to try and run it in. Ryan hands off his water bottle to Kyla and he’s already jogging back toward the bench where his helmet is.

  I need to go do the same.

  In a second.

  “Hey.”

  Turning, I see Amanda standing right in front of me. She places her hand on the center of my chest and lifts up on her tiptoes, brushing her lips against the side of my jaw. “Good luck,” she whispers close to my ear.

  Damn. That kiss wasn’t good enough.

  I grab her hand and tug her close, pressing my mouth to hers in a quick, searing kiss. She backs away, blinking up at me, and even though that moment lasted maybe ten seconds, tops, I know I just rocked her world like she’s always rocking mine.

  “See ya,” I tell her with a grin before I toss the water bottle to her. She catches it with ease and I turn to head back to the bench, grab my helmet and run out onto the field. The opposing team made their two-point conversion. We’re only leading by two and there’s a minute twenty left in the game.

  It’s go time.

  If I had nails, I would’ve bitten them all off already. But since I don’t have them, it’s like I’m just nibbling on my fingers, I’m so nervous. It’s totally disgusting, I know it is, but I can’t stop.

  This game is killing me. It’s killing all of us. Kyla has resumed pacing and she’s wearing a path into the ground from her constant back and forth. Em has completely thrown herself into her new hydration station duties, staying focused on cleaning up and keeping fresh water bottles for the team versus actually watching the game.

  She told me during halftime she couldn’t stand watching. It made her too nervous. And right now, Cannon isn’t even on the field. But it doesn’t matter. She’s purposely avoiding looking at the field.

  But I’m watching. I can’t not watch. I’m sending up silent prayers that Jordan can do this. That if he can’t score a touchdown, at least they can wind down the clock and end the game with the win. They’re leading by only two points and they currently have the ball, but it’s still so incredibly nerve-racking.

  Jordan remains unruffled and I don’t know how he does it. They huddle, they get into position, I hear him call out the plays, and slowly but surely, he moves them down the field. The crowd is going wild, both sides of the stadium yelling and cheering. The cheerleaders are chanting, “Move it on down the line,” and for once, Lauren Mancini’s extra loud voice doesn’t grate on my nerves.

  I’m too focused on watching Jordan.

  “I can’t take it.” Em appears beside me and I glance over at her, our gazes locking. Her eyes are wide and the eyeliner is smudged, giving her dark circles that make her look like a raccoon. She appears totally frazzled, I’m guessing by both the tense game and how busy we were tonight working the hydration station. I don’t know how we could’ve done it without her. “I have to watch,” she tells me. “It’s almost over, right?”

  “Yeah, it is. But one minute could last five, so be prepared,” I warn her.

  “Ah, come on. What’s the big deal? Cannon’s not even out there.” Kyla is standing on the other side of me. She leans over to look at Em, and I can tell by the light in her eyes that Kyla’s teasing. “That’s why you’re here, righ
t? To watch your boy? Because you and Cannon are a—thing?”

  “No,” Em immediately says. I jab her in the ribs and she grunts, glaring at me. She huffs out a breath and rolls her eyes. “Fine. Yes, we’re a thing. I’m not his girlfriend or anything like that, but we are…seeing each other.”

  “Aw, that is so cute.” I smile at her and she rolls her eyes again, but she’s smiling too.

  We go quiet and turn our attention to the field, but both teams are on the sidelines.

  “Why isn’t anything happening?” Em asks, looking confused. When it comes to football, she really is clueless. Working tonight hasn’t helped; she’s barely able to concentrate on the game.

  “The other team called a time out. Trying to mess with their heads,” Kyla mutters. “They can do this, though. Mentally, our boys are tough.”

  I say nothing. Our boys are mentally and physically tough, but tonight they’ve been extra cocky too. Sometimes that’s a good thing and sometimes…

  It’s a really bad thing.

  Our offensive line jogs back out on the field and I breathlessly watch as they get back into formation. Jordan talks to his team, his voice ringing above even the roaring crowd, and my heart is in my throat when he gets the ball and passes it to the running back.

  But that was a fake pass. Jordan still has the ball and I glance toward the end zone—Ryan is hauling ass toward it. I start hopping up and down, grabbing the girls’ arms. “Watch Ryan, watch Ryan, he’s going to catch it. He’s going to catch it!”

  The ball sails through the air and Ryan…

  Catches.

  It.

  He lunges toward the end zone, sliding between two massive defensive linemen to land on the ground, the ball still clutched in his arms, the touchdown made.

  The crowd jumps to their feet screaming their joy. The band launches into the most raucous fight song I’ve ever heard and the cheerleaders practically leap out of their shoes as they yell themselves hoarse and shake their pompoms.

  It’s over. They won.

  Jordan did it.

  We three all make a break for it and run toward the field along with the cheerleaders and the rest of the team, the coaches, the fans and the local media. The offensive line swarm Jordan and Ryan as they hug each other and rap their knuckles on each other’s helmets. I can see their smiles—they’re big and proud and I’m swept by the overwhelming sense that I will never forget this moment. That I will carry it with me until my last days, never able to forget the night Jordan Tuttle threw the final touchdown and won the regional championship game.

  “Amanda!”

  He’s calling me and I go to him without thought, moving through the crowd of towering football players who surround Jordan. He’s standing in the middle of the crowd, his helmet gone, his dark head sweaty, the black lines beneath his eyes smeared down his face. He’s grinning from ear to ear. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him smile so big, and when I get closer, when he actually spots me, it’s like nothing else matters.

  His gaze never leaving mine, he makes his way toward me, swoops me up into his arms and spins me around, his mouth meeting mine in the briefest, sweetest kiss.

  “You did it,” I whisper against his lips.

  “We did,” he agrees, slowly lowering me to my feet. Cameras are going off, the many flashes of light making me wince, and Jordan laughs, shaking his head. “Looks like everyone caught that kiss. Think Mrs. Maddox will bust my ass for PDA?”

  I burst out laughing. “She might let you slide tonight.”

  “Tuttle!” Coach Halsey appears, grinning yet looking furious, all at the same time. “Come with me.”

  “I gotta go.” Jordan leans in and kisses my cheek. It feels like we’re getting carried down the field by the crowd surrounding us. I haven’t taken a step, yet I’ve somehow moved. “Give me some time. Wait for me, okay?”

  I nod. “Just text me.”

  He squeezes my hand and then the coach leads him and Ryan away. The rest of the team exits the field and I follow after them, heading straight for the hydration station so I can help Kyla and Em clean up and put everything away. But when I get there, I find Kyla is the only one cleaning up.

  “Where’s Em?” I ask her.

  “With Cannon, I think.” When I open my mouth to protest Kyla shakes her head, cutting me off. “Don’t get upset. It’s no big deal. She didn’t have to help us tonight. I’m just thankful she did.”

  I snap my lips shut. Kyla’s right. Why am I complaining—about anything? “What a game, right?”

  “Totally amazing,” Kyla agrees with an enthusiastic nod and a big smile. “I’m sure you’re really proud of Tuttle.”

  “I think we’re all really proud of the entire team,” I say, but Kyla’s right. I’m so incredibly proud and impressed by the game Jordan played tonight. I knew he had it in him. I’ve watched him play for years while in band and now this season, working so closely with the entire team. He’s a talented football player. I bet he’ll have a list of colleges who wish he’d come play for them.

  The realization sobers me up and I go about my clean up duties on autopilot, my mind awhirl as the stadium slowly empties. Jordan is going to have so many opportunities. And it’s not like he needs them either. He’s already set with the trust fund so he never has to worry about money. A tinge of envy washes over me and I try to push it away but it’s so hard.

  He has it all, and everything for me, my entire future, feels like a huge struggle.

  I’m almost finished cleaning up when I hear a familiar voice calling my name. I turn to see Livvy running toward me, her hair flying behind her, her expression animated. “We won! We won!”

  I laugh and nearly fall over when she tackle-hugs me. “Yeah, we won,” I tell her, my voice muffled against her shoulder as she squeezes me close and hops up and down. “It was such a good game.”

  “The best. Did you see the way our men worked so well together?” Livvy asks when she pulls away from me.

  Huh. Now Ryan’s her man again because he’s the star of the game? “They work really well together,” I say, though I know most of the time Ryan drives Jordan nuts.

  “It was such a great game.” Livvy laughs and shakes her head. “I’ve missed you, friend! You’ve been so busy this week.”

  “So have you.” My voice is cool, my judgment on high alert, and I can’t help it. Livvy and her Dustin antics have been bugging the crap out of me all week. I knew I’d get angry when I’d next talk to her and look at me.

  I’m getting angry.

  Livvy frowns. “Are you mad at me?”

  I glance around, making sure no one else is nearby, before I step closer to her, my voice lowering so no one can overhear us. “What’s going on with you and Ryan?”

  “There’s nothing going on.”

  “Right. So tell me what’s going on with you and Dustin?”

  Her brows go high. “We’re friends. That’s it.”

  “That’s why you’ve been sneaking off meeting him all week? Comforting him after his breakup with Brianne Brown?” Oh, I sound snide as hell, but Livvy’s behavior is totally triggering me. Making me think of Thad and Tara and what they did to me, how devastated I’d been. How their betrayal totally changed me.

  I hate to see it done to someone else.

  “Not that it’s any of your business, but nothing has happened between Dustin and me. I’ve been a good friend to him while he mourns his breakup with Brianne. That’s it. He needed someone to talk to and I’ve been there for him,” Livvy explains, her voice flat, the sparkle in her gaze gone.

  Great. Now I’ve made her mad. I feel awful, but I can’t help my reaction, especially to suspected cheating.

  “I’m sorry, Liv,” I tell her with a sigh. “I don’t mean to attack you or whatever. It’s just that, when everything happened between my ex-boyfriend and best friend, it was so devastating. I have a hard time with the cheating thing.”

  “I’m not cheating on anyone. Trust me.” Her ton
e is clipped and her expression is closed off. Almost like she has…

  Something to hide?

  Stop being so suspicious!

  “I wanted to find you and see if needed a ride to Tuttle’s house.” When I frown at Livvy, she continues. “He’s having a party. A huge bash to celebrate the win. It’s being catered and everything so it’s already set up, I guess. People are over at his house right now.”

  I’m blinking at her in confusion, unable to find the words to speak. He never mentioned a party at his house after the game. Why wouldn’t he?

  God, he’s such a guy sometimes.

  “He and Ryan are meeting with some recruiters, so they’re going to be tied up for a while.” The strained smile Livvy sends my way makes me feel bad for ever opening my fat mouth. Why’d I have to stir up trouble tonight? “He asked Ryan to ask me to bring you over to his house.”

  “Oh.” I press my lips together and glance over my shoulder to find Kyla nearby, gathering her things. “Hey, Kyla. Are you going to the party over at Tuttle’s right now?”

  She sends me an odd look, one that says, you know I don’t go to those parties. “I’m not going to be there, but tell everyone congrats for me.” Kyla’s out of there before I can say anything else.

  “What were you going to do, invite her to the party?” Livvy asks incredulously.

  “Of course I would ask Kyla to the party. She’s become a good friend. And she’s an integral part of the team.”

  “She’s also kind of boring and no fun.” Livvy grabs my hand and gives it a squeeze. “I’m sorry about the whole Dustin thing too, okay? I’m being totally honest with you right now. Dustin and I have talked a lot, but nothing has actually happened between us. I wouldn’t cheat on Ryan, I swear.”

  She’s mind cheating on him, and that’s almost as bad. Maybe even worse? Though with guys, the emotional stuff doesn’t bother them as much as the physical. So maybe Ryan wouldn’t care?

  Yeah, he probably would. But whatever.

  “It’s okay. You don’t have to apologize,” I tell her, though I’m glad she did. “Who am I to judge you?”