by M. B. Feeney
"My cousin Wade's based there. He's been in the UK for about three years now working as a singer and songwriter, and now he’s making the move into acting."
There was pride in his voice. We hadn't shared much private information beyond my mini breakdown on the roadside in downtown Houston, but I knew his family was important to him.
"Will you be able to see much of him?" I made up the sandwiches, handed one to Gage, and went to sit on the sofa.
"We're in London for about a week, so I'll meet up with him as much as I can. It'll be great."
We sat in comfortable silence while we ate. Gage was washing the dishes and I was tidying up the rest of the kitchen when the front door swung open and both my kids came rushing in.
"Hey, babies. Did you have a good weekend with Daddy?" I gathered them in my arms for hugs, but then looked up to see Dermot flicking his eyes between me and a topless Gage.
Oh, fuck.
"Speak to you soon, darlin'." Gage gave me a sweet kiss before he walked up the path and out of sight.
I took a deep breath and closed the door to go back inside to face Dermot.
The kids were sitting watching a DVD in the front room, so I walked past them and into the kitchen. Dermot followed me through, and I could feel his eyes on me as I made a drink.
"Just say it already." I waited for the barrage.
"What can I say? I had a feeling there was someone, but I just didn't expect it to be him."
Huh? Dermot was surprising me a lot lately. All I could do was stare at him in silence.
"Did you think I didn't recognise him? I've seen his picture all over this place for the last four years." He smiled at me with a hint of sadness.
"I didn't plan any of this. You do know that, don’t you?"
He nodded. "I know you didn't. Just promise me you'll be careful."
"What do you mean?"
The expression on his face held nothing but concern. "Don't let yourself get hurt, please. I hate to think of you being used for kicks."
Tears pricked my eyes, and I wasn't sure whether I would have felt better if he'd had a go at me rather than being so understanding. I’d never seen this side of him.
"I don't think that'll happen. I can't say for sure, but he's not like that." I hoped I was right. Dermot’s concern made me stop and think.
"He's travelling all the time. How do you know he hasn't got a girl in every city?"
"He's told me he hasn't, and I believe him. I may be a fool, but hey."
Dermot wrapped his arms around me and placed a kiss on my forehead.
"As long as you feel you can." He turned to leave but paused in the doorway, looking over his shoulder at me. "Are you sure you're not rushing into it because of who he is? I mean, you've drooled over him for years."
"I haven't put him on a pedestal if that's what you mean." I sighed. "I know it seems like I've rushed into it, but it feels right. Like you and I never did." I felt like the biggest bitch for saying that, but it was the truth.
"Yeah, you’re right. We never really did fit, did we? Most of the time was good, though, and we got those two monsters." He looked over at the kids. Regardless of how I felt about him, I could never deny how much they meant to him. He would do anything for them.
"Yeah, we did."
He smiled sadly at me and headed home, leaving me rooted to the spot while I thought about what he'd said.. After shaking my head to rid myself of the doubts plaguing me, I went into the front room to sit and snuggle with my babies.
Karina showed up about an hour later with the biggest grin on her sleepy face. She plopped down onto the sofa next to me.
"Look what the cat dragged in." I grinned at her. She looked fucked, in more ways than one. "So have they left for Manchester, then?"
"Yeah, they dropped me off on their way to the motorway. Gage said to tell you he'd call you later if he got the chance. What have you done to that boy? He's walking around like he's the cat that got the cream, but someone stole it from him before he managed to take a sip."
I told her what had happened that morning. Then I told her about Dermot dropping the kids back.
"Oh, shit. Poor Gage. No wonder he locked himself in his room when he got back."
"He did?" Fabulous. Maybe I should call him first and tell him what happened after he left rather than waiting for him to call.
"Yeah, but I think that was more because of me and Matty. The other guys went out for food. Speaking of which, I'm starving. I'll phone for takeaway if you want. My treat."
The kids came flying in at the sound of that, begging me to agree. It wasn’t something we did very often, so any chance they got, they wanted to take it.
"Let me see what menus I have." I went to rummage through the drawer. "Pizza or Chinese?" I called out. Three voices yelled for pizza, so I grabbed a couple of menus and went back to join them. When I turned round, I caught sight of Gage's hat lying discarded on the kitchen floor, just under the table. With a smile, I bent to pick it up before I gave the menus to Karina and the kids to let them decide what they wanted. Needing a bit of privacy, I grabbed my phone from the fireplace and went to sit in the garden and tap out a message. Hey, sorry about this afternoon. Have a good show Cx. I hit send before I could change my mind.
The pizza was ordered, cartoons were on the TV, which had the kids commandeered, and the evening was quiet. Karina was texting away on her phone with Matt. Both jealous and pleased for her, I couldn’t help but smile. They were like chalk and cheese, but it seemed to work for them.
"Mummy, the pizza man's here," my son yelled at me from his lookout at the window.
Karina jumped up and ran to pay for our food while I grabbed some plates for the kids. Once I’d placed a couple of slices on each plate, I sat on the sofa. My phone bleeped, and unsure of how to feel, I held it in my hand for a while, not opening the text.
"What's up?" Karina asked between bites of food.
"I don't know. I haven't opened it yet." I’d texted him first, so why was I so nervous about reading his response?
"Give it here." She grabbed my phone from me, looked at the text, and then handed my phone back to me. "Read it," she ordered.
I looked down to read, I miss you. Gx. Letting out the breath I hadn't realised I was holding made me less stressed out in an instant.
"See? Nothing to worry about."
"Smug cow." I laughed, relieved.
"Are you gonna reply or not?" she asked, grinning at me.
"In a bit, yeah." I started to eat my pizza. The kids had ignored the whole exchange, too intent on cartoons and pizza.
"Mummy, why was Gage in our kitchen with no shirt on?" Grace, my daughter asked out of nowhere. "Did he spill his drink?" Bless her.
"Yes, baby, he did. I had to wash and dry his shirt for him." Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Karina trying not to laugh out loud. Her whole body was shaking as she tried, to cover up her giggles. "Shut up," I hissed at her, trying not to laugh myself. "Have you two finished?"
An hour later, both kids had been bathed and were upstairs in my bed, fast asleep, while Karina and I were relaxing with beers in hand.
"Did you reply to Gage's text yet?" she asked.
"Um . . . No, I don't know what to send."
"Just tell him you miss him, too."
Yeah, cause it was that simple. In some ways it was, but something was holding me back. "I don't want to seem . . . Urgh! I don't know what I want, to be honest." I felt completely out of my depth. It wasn’t like I had just met a guy in a bar and got it on. Well, I had, but the guy in question wasn't exactly local. Nothing about this situation was anything I had ever dealt with before.
"Just text him. Take each moment as it comes." Karina looked at me, her blue eyes showing understanding.
"What, like you and Matty? Whom you have been texting all evening, I might add. You, my dear, have got it bad." I opened up Gage's text again and was just about to type out a reply when my phone began to ring. "Hello?” Ple
ase don't be Gage. I'm not ready for that right now.
"Hey, babe, it's me." Jenny's voice was full of excitement. "Just wanted to let you know that I'm on the train back now. I'll be about another hour or so." The background noise was drowning out her words.
"Do you want me to meet you at the station?" I asked, raising my volume so she could hear me.
"No, stay there. I'll grab a cab at the station. See you in a bit." She ended the call.
"Jenny's on her way back." I grabbed a few slices of pizza, put them on a plate, and popped them in the oven to stay warm for her.
"Cool. Girl's night in then?"
I pointed up. "Don't forget the horrors."
"Don't forget the text. Mind if I grab a shower?"
"Go ahead." I went out into the garden for a cigarette, shocked at the amount I’d smoked over the last couple of days. My nerves were frazzled, so I made a mental note to try and calm myself down and cut down on the smokes. Sitting on the swing, I tried to work out what to put in my text.
Hey. Hoping the north isn't treating you too badly. Miss you too Cx
Jenny arrived in a flurry of hugs and excitement about her audition. Although she said she’d grabbed some food on the train back, I made her sit down with some pizza, which didn’t last long.
"So how did it go?" Karina asked her, tapping away on her phone again.
"Really well. I got the part."
The three of us had a congratulatory group hug.
" I also had a bit of a shock."
"Oh?" I looked at Jenny.
"Yeah. I met Gage's cousin today."
"Wade?"
She looked at me in utter confusion. "How did you know?"
"Gage mentioned him in passing this morning."
An eyebrow raised. "Gage came over this morning? When the house was empty?" The eyebrow was now in orbit.
"Yes, he did, but we're not talking about that right now. So Wade?"
"Yes, Wade. He's playing the male lead, my love interest."
I grinned at her.
"Stop that. I honestly thought I'd stepped into the Twilight Zone. Did Gage not tell you he had a double?"
"No, all he said was that his cousin was living in London working as a singer and songwriter."
Jenny's eyes widened. "He never said he was a muso, too."
"Do I sense a little crush?" Teasing her was far more satisfying than being teased myself.
"No comment. All I will say is, I was freaked the fuck out. Oh!" Jenny suddenly delved into her bag and pulled out her phone. "I did get this, though." She tapped away on the screen before turning it sound for us to see. A beaten-up pair of biker boots filled the screen with a hint of long, slender legs, nothing else.
"Nice boots," Karina mumbled. "Is there a face to go with them?"
Jenny shook her head. "Yes, but I didn't get a picture of that." She grinned. "We all know it's about the boots."
I blushed, thinking about Gage's boots.
"What's with the blush?"
With some laughter, I told them about what had happened between me and Gage, although I kept most of the details myself.
"You made him keep the boots on?" Jenny burst into hysterical laughter. "That is brilliant. So the boots really do stay on, huh?"
"Apparently so. I got a souvenir, too." I went into the kitchen to get the hat he'd left behind.
"Nice. Did he get a souvenir?"
At her wink, I felt the blood drain from my face. "Excuse me." I dashed up to my room. "Bastard," I said as I walked back down the stairs. Without saying anything to the girls, I grabbed my phone.
Oh, and can I have my thong back? It was a present. Cx
Monday morning came far too quickly. We'd sat up quite late chatting about Jenny's new role. I tried to get more out of her about Wade, but she had little to add. Karina was getting ready to head back home to London since she had to be back at work the next day.
"Aww, I'm gonna miss you. Make sure you text me when you get home." I gave her a hug once she was packed and her taxi had arrived to take her to the station. “I know you know how to text.”
"Me too. Make sure you come down for a visit soon, before you get back to work."
Once everyone was up and dressed, Jenny and I decided to take the kids out for the day and do nothing other than enjoy some quiet time after the madness of the weekend. The two of us sat on a bench in the park while the kids ran around the playground like complete lunatics.
"I need to go back down to London at the end of the week. Sean, the producer, told me I need to find somewhere to stay during filming, and I want to find somewhere nice enough to bring the little one over, too."
I knew she was missing her daughter, and it was breaking her heart. "That would be great."
We chatted while we walked through the park, heading towards the main road to go and get some lunch. The kids were fighting over which of them got to hold Jenny's hand. I thought Sam had a bit of a crush on her, since every chance he got, he sat next to her. It made his day every time she pretended to munch on his cheeks, and he was going to be distraught when she left.
Jenny seemed pretty distracted throughout the day. She was getting quite a few texts that made her snort and smile in equal measure.
"I take it you're not going to tell me about those." I indicated her phone, once again buzzing in her hand and taking her attention away from me.
"What? These texts?" She didn’t look up at me when she spoke. "It's just Wade."
"Oh, really? Just Wade. And why am I only hearing about this now?"
"Well, there was nothing to tell. We're just chatting about the film."
"Bullshit!" I looked her dead in the eyes. "I know you well enough by now to know that there is no 'just' about anything." Rolling my eyes at the sly smirk I got in response, I said, "Ok, you win, for now."
Once I’d made it clear I would get the truth out of her about Wade, I went to check the kids weren't killing each other upstairs. To my surprise, the pair of them had crawled into my bed and fallen asleep watching a DVD. Turning everything off, I made sure they were comfortable and left them to it. We had kind of knackered them out with all that fresh air and running around.
Jenny was wrapped up in her PJ's when I got back downstairs, and was tapping away on her phone again. I smiled while I made us a hot drink. My own phone had been quiet other than the odd text from Karina and Jo. I hadn't heard from Gage since the day they’d left for Manchester, but I knew he was busy, so I tried not to let it get to me. More than anything, I didn't want Dermot to be right.
I walked back into the front room, handed Jenny her drink, and sat down to watch the film on TV. When I glanced over at her, I felt jealous of the way her eyes were glued to her phone, a small smile playing on her lips. More than anything, I wanted that additional contact with Gage, despite having seen him twenty-four hours earlier. I left Jenny in her own little bubble while I flicked through the channels. As if to taunt me, the movie channel was having a Wings special, including interviews with the stars. With a groan, I switched off the TV and put some music on. Of course, the last CD I’d played would be Pocket Full of Lyrics. Thinking I must have pissed someone off somewhere, I huffed and turned the music off, plunging the room into silence. All I wanted was to have a bit of time to think, but now Gage Weston was bloody everywhere.
"You okay, babe?" Jenny's voice brought me out of my thoughts.
"Huh? Yeah, I'm fine." I smiled at her. "How's Wade?"
"He's an ass, but he's cute."
"Do I get to meet him?"
"Depends whether you can get down to London while we're filming. I'm sure he'll be hanging around like a bad smell."
I laughed.
"Maybe you could come down with me over the weekend to start me off on my flat hunt."
"I'll see what I can do. It all depends on Dermot and the kids." I hoped he would have them again. At this rate, I was going to owe him a lot of favours.
"Well, I want to be down there by Thursday morn
ing. I have a meeting with Sean that afternoon."
"I'll have a word with Dermot and let you know."
Jenny stood up and stretched, yawning widely. "I'm bushed, babe. Mind if I crash?"
"Of course not. I probably won't be far behind you. It'll be nice to have an early night for a change." She gave me a hug and disappeared upstairs.
It felt weird to sit in my own front room alone after having had such a busy weekend and a full house. Unsure what to do with myself, I lounged in the dim lamplight, flicking through channels on the TV. As much as I didn't want to, I avoided watching the rest of the movie special about Wings. It was petty and stupid, but I couldn't help it. For some reason, I needed to not see Gage just then, but it didn’t stop me thinking about him.I picked up his forgotten hat and twirled it in my hands. Had it really only been this morning that I was wearing it, getting hot and heavy with him in my kitchen? After popping it on my head again, I sighed and took it off. I stood and put it up on a shelf where the kids couldn't get their hands on it. For all I knew, he’d want it back, but I hadn’t heard from him, so it would stay here until I did.
Deciding to go up to bed, I grabbed my phone to set my alarm. The fucking thing was dead as a dodo. Trust my luck to be moaning to myself about having not hearing from Gage, when it was my own fault. I plugged the phone in to charge and went to make a drink, trying to think back to when I had last used it. I couldn't remember. I picked up my cup and went to check for messages. I hated how slow the charge was to light up, so rather than hover over my phone, I went to make sure the house was locked up.
From the kitchen, I heard some beeps. I finished making my rounds of doors and windows and went to check the phone. Seven text messages, and three missed calls. Shit.
All three calls were from Gage. Other than two texts from Karina, the rest were from Gage as well. I scrolled through them one by one.
You can have the thong back when I get the chance to take it off again ;) Gx
Did I leave a hat at your place? I'm missing one. Gx