It Started in Texas

by M. B. Feeney

  Wade cut her off. "Bit of stuff? What have I missed?" He looked back and forth between the two of us. "I thought you and Gage were getting somewhere."

  "So did we, until some floozy answered his phone the night they were in Manchester," Karina told him and Jenny when she came out of the bathroom, dressed to impress in an ultra mini denim skirt and her favourite dark blue jumper. Navy and white knee high socks with her well-worn converse were guaranteed to drive Matt insane.

  "Floozy? What floozy?" Jenny prodded me, so I described the girl who had clung to Gage's arm during our meeting in the middle of Portobello Road market.

  To my confusion, Wade burst out laughing while we made our way out of the flat.

  "What's so funny?" I asked, starting to get pissed off.

  "That's no floozy. That's my cousin."

  I stopped at the edge of the road and turned round to stare at him. "C-c-cousin?"

  "Yeah. Terri, Gage's older sister. She mentioned she might pop over to see the guys play a few gigs."

  I groaned silently.

  "She's only over for a few days, so they have been catching up."

  Both my friends looked at me, wide eyed. Oh fuck.

  We arrived at the Student Union bar with about five minutes to spare before the show started. Wade and Jenny went straight in while I hovered outside, my nerves eating away at me. Karina stayed with me.

  "What are you going to do?" she asked me.

  "No fucking idea, chick." I felt like such a fool. Why hadn’t I just let him explain himself? "Apart from grovel for forgiveness?" When I thought back to how I spoke to him earlier in the day, I couldn’t help but cringe.

  "I'm sure he'll understand." She looked towards the door, eager to get inside, but I took hold of her arm.

  "I'll deal with it. He may not even want to speak to me."

  "Yeah, I doubt that, and if he does say anything shitty, we'll make sure he listens."

  I could just imagine her and Jenny pinning him to a chair so I could explain how much of a prat I'd been.

  Throughout the set, I hovered by the bar while the others stayed nearer the stage, dancing and singing along. I watched Gage and was transfixed by his energy. As usual, there were the prerequisite Wings fans present, stationed right at the front and trying to get his attention. He smiled at them, playing the crowd like a finely tuned guitar, but he kept clear of grabbing hands. I didn't know how I was going to approach the whole situation. He would be well within his rights to tell me to fuck off. After all, that was pretty much what I had done to him today.

  Wade came over to the bar to order a fresh round of drinks, standing next to me and smiling widely. I still couldn't get my head round the uncanny resemblance between him and Gage. A few of the fans had spotted him, and I could see them looking back and forth between the two men, confused and excited.

  "Hey." Wade handed me a beer.

  "Hey, thanks." I smiled at him. My nerves were starting to build as the end of the set got closer.

  "Look, don't stress yourself. I've known that guy my whole life, and he's never held a grudge. Gage just doesn't have it in him. He'll give you a chance to explain, and then he'll probably laugh at you a little."

  "I just need to get a chance to explain."

  Wade put his hand on my shoulder. His eyes were green like Gage’s, but not as vibrant. They made me think of a serene lake.

  "I'll get you some time with him if I need to."

  I thanked him again and watched him go back to the girls. The look in his eyes when he looked at Jenny gave me a warm, fuzzy feeling. Then I turned my eyes back to the stage, where Gage was singing 'Family and Friends'. While I sang along, I noticed him looking into the crowd.

  My chance came when Drew announced that they would be taking suggestions for the evening's improv song. I wormed my way through the crowd to join the others, moving slowly so I wouldn't attract attention to myself before I wanted to. I stood behind Karina, who was dancing and singing along to Matt’s raucous lead vocals until the song came to an end.

  Soon enough, the final bars of the track filtered through the large speakers. I could see whispered conversations going on in the audience around me while people debated what to suggest.

  "So here's your chance to write the next song. What should we make up a song about?" Gage's voice came through the mic, and before anyone had a chance to say anything, I opened my mouth to speak.

  "Jumping to the wrong conclusions," I called out in a voice clear as a bell.

  Gage's head turned in my direction, and a little smile appeared when he began strumming his guitar. "That’s easy enough to deal with."

  The Wings fans screamed at his use of his character’s catchphrase from the books while the guys began to work out a tune. Gage paced up and down the stage, and every now and then, his eyes caught mine, but I was unable to read his expression. When he started to sing, I listened to the words and felt tears prick my eyes, but I refused to start crying. Jenny took hold of my hand and squeezed it in an attempt to reassure me.

  The rest of the show passed in a blur. I didn’t notice which other songs they performed because I was too caught up in my thoughts. To distract myself, I pushed back through the crowd to the bar to get myself a drink. When I took the first sip, I heard the guys sing the last of “The End,” which they performed at the end of each show. Catching Karina's eye, I indicated I was going outside. She nodded at me and turned back to the others, and I headed out, taking a few deep breaths before lighting up.

  "You okay?" Matt's voice came out of nowhere, I was that distracted.

  When I turned, I saw an easy smile on his face, his brown eyes bright from the adrenaline of performing. "Yeah. I'm fine."

  He lit himself a cigarette.

  "Well, you don't look it."

  I glared at him.

  "Well, I . . . Erm . . . I mean, you look good." Matt indicated my clothes. "But ever since the improv, which was an awesome idea by the way, you've had a look on your face that makes you look like Gage did in the Wings promo photos. All serious and dark, but his was funnier." Matt’s words made me laugh, because he wasn’t wrong.

  "Thanks for that visual. I’ve just got a lot on my mind."

  He wrapped his arm around my shoulder, much like an older brother looking out for his baby sister would do. "Look, I know that guy almost as well as my own family. He'll hear you out. Give him the chance to make up his mind."

  "I just want to say my piece and help him see where I was coming from. Then the ball's in his court." Just as I said that, Gage appeared next to Matt.

  "Hey, darlin'" There was no easy smile on his face. Shit.

  Not sure what to say, I turned on my heel and walked over to a convenient bench and sat down. After he spent a couple of minutes chatting with fans, I sensed rather than saw Gage sit next to me. My eyes wouldn’t look at him, so I kept my head down and tried to ignore the urge to run away. A fleeting memory hit me of the last time I'd sat on a bench outside this bar. I’d still been a teenager. Was it really twenty years ago? When did I get so old?

  My memories weren’t enough to distract me from Gage sitting next to me, and I knew I was going to have to talk to him sooner rather than later.

  "Please look at me."

  I couldn't ignore his deep voice, full of an emotion I couldn’t fully detect, so I raised my head to look at him. Gage looked so tired that I wanted to wrap my arms around him and pull him into a tight hug. "That was an interesting improv choice."

  My smile felt forced. "It was the one way I could think of at short notice to get your attention and start my apology at the same time.”

  "You'll always have my attention, darlin’.” His smile was wide, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I have to admit, I didn't think you'd come tonight."

  He lit himself a cigarette, and my eyes were transfixed by his lips and hands.

  "To be honest, I nearly didn't." Maybe if I had been open and honest from the get go, I wouldn't be feeling like a prize
prat now. "I was going to stay at Kar's flat and read, but I was ordered to come out."

  “I’m glad you did.”

  “I’m not sure just yet if I am.”

  His body tensed slightly at my words. "That’s understandable, I guess." Something passed across his face that I couldn't read. "I think we need a drink for this. Whiskey?"

  After I gave him a nod, he re-entered the SU. The scores of girls hanging around the entrance watched him like I did. A few looked my way, but I ignored them.

  I heard my phone beep with a text.

  Is everything ok? Saw Gage come back inside. Jx. I typed a quick text back. Not really talked yet. Looks like we’re getting a drink first. Must be serious. x

  "Can I join you?" a soft voice asked me, and I looked up to see Terri, Gage’s sister. Fabulous.

  "Sure." With a sigh, I ducked my head and looked away from her, rolling my eyes at myself. "I should apologise to you."

  "It happens." How could she be so calm? If someone had spoken to me the way I had her, I would be looking to give them a piece of my mind.

  "I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that. It was rude of me."

  She let out a quiet 'Humph', but I still refused to look at her.

  "I could make the usual excuses, but I won't. I was out of order, and for that I apologise."

  "Yes, you were, but I think I understand. You’re not the only one at fault in all of this. I didn't realise who I'd spoken to until Gage woke up and bit my head off for answering his phone."

  Needing that drink more than ever, I took a quick look round to see if he was coming back, but there wasn’t any sign of him.

  "I'm sorry. I guess I assumed the worst. Hearing a woman’s voice, I assumed that Gage was acting like a stereotypical rock star."

  Anger flashed across her face, but I held up a hand to stop her from interrupting. "Before you jump to his defence, as you should, let me explain."

  After a deep breath to calm my nerves, I carried on. "I'm in my thirties, with two kids. I went to the gig in Texas looking to have a good time with some friends. I didn’t expect anything beyond that. I was still married, and while I wasn’t completely happy, it was my life until Gage knocked me on my arse.” A nervous laugh escaped me. “I still can't get my head round what happened. Your brother could have his pick of any girl in the audience if that’s what he wants, but for some reason that is beyond me, this . . . Well, this man is now getting me a whiskey so we can talk about whatever is happening between us."

  "Well . . ." She looked me up and down and half-scowled at me, as if offended by my assessment of Gage. "I think that says it all."

  Unsure of what she meant, I didn’t say anything.

  "I know my brother very well. As much as he doesn't like to admit it, he loves the attention he gets from the fans. Who wouldn't enjoy that kind of ego boost? But he's always been a bit particular in who he gets close to. There must be something about you, because I've seen him with girlfriends in the past." Girlfriends? “He gives his all to every relationship and is fiercely loyal, and the last few years have been hard for him. Since getting the part in Wings, he never knows if someone is interested in him or the public version of him. Believe me when I say that boy is made to be in a long-term relationship."

  Despite the passion in her voice when she talked about Gage moving me to tears, I made no move to wipe them away. "My brother is a big believer in monogamy, so he would never get involved with someone who was already in a relationship unless he was so drawn to that person that he couldn’t stop himself."

  "And I am, darlin'."

  We both jumped at the sound of Gage’s voice. Neither of us had noticed him standing behind the bench with three glasses in his hands.

  "How long have you been standing there?" Terri asked him, a smile much like his, on her face when she took a drink from him and passed it to me.

  "Pretty much for the whole conversation. Sis, you surprise me. I never thought I'd hear you say stuff like that about me," he teased.

  "Dork." Terri stood up and turned to me. "I honestly don't know what you see in him." She winked at us and walked back inside.

  I took a sip of whiskey while Gage moved into Terri's seat, and I relished the burn down my throat.

  "You could have asked me about it, you know," he said to me. "I wouldn't have been offended."

  "I know, and that would have been the logical thing to do, but I'm obviously not logical. After speaking to Dermot that afternoon and his playing devil's advocate with the whole 'girl in every city' line, I guess I just assumed the worst. Then I felt like an idiot and started telling myself that you couldn't possibly be interested in me anyway."

  "That's the bit I don't understand. The whole jumping to conclusions bit, I get. A lot of people would have done the same. It’s possible I would have, too. But the whole looking down on yourself thing. You do it far too often, and it confounds me."

  "I'm not looking down on myself at all. I'm being a realist. I look in a mirror every day, so I know what's there."

  "You're an idiot."

  "Charming."

  "Shit, that came out wrong." Gage ran his hand through his hair. "What I mean is that it's not all about how you look and what you wear. It never was, even though you are beautiful, but you are the whole package."

  I snorted.

  "Stop that. I mean it. You're stunning, like I said, and you're intelligent and confident. Sometimes." He grinned.

  What was it about this man that could make me laugh and turn me on at the same time?

  "It's not all about outward appearances,” Gage continued. “It's about the inner beauty and strength you possess. I know I'm repeating myself with that, but it's true. You should have talked to me after Terri answered my cell."

  "I know I should have, but I didn't. Hindsight's a wonderful thing."

  He took hold of my hand. "That it is, darlin'."

  My eyes travelled from our intertwined fingers up to his face. He still looked tired, but there was a sense of relief there that mirrored what I felt inside.

  "You look tired," I murmured.

  "I haven't slept very well for the last few days."

  The guilt I felt must have shown on my face.

  "Don't you dare. We've agreed you should have spoken to me, but I should have made more of an effort to find out why you wouldn't speak to me. A few half-assed phone calls to your friends just didn't cut it."

  I squeezed his hand.

  "Can we just agree to talk in the future?"

  "Of course." I lit a cigarette with shaky hands, and a question slipped out. "The future?"

  "Yeah. Well, whatever and wherever we end up." He took my cigarette out of my hands and took a drag. "I don't know where we're heading, but we can take one day at a time."

  "That sounds good." My breath hitched when he leaned across the bench. Gage pressed his lips against mine almost as if he expected me to pull away. He was just running his tongue along the inside of my top lip when I sensed that someone was beside us. We both turned our heads to the girl no older than eighteen who was hovering next to the bench.

  "Can we help you?" It was a struggle keeping the frustration out of my voice. The look on her face gave me a good idea of what she was going to say.

  "Hi, Gage. Can I buy you a drink?" Oh, she was a forward one!

  Gage smiled at me before responding. "That's a wonderful offer, but I'm a bit busy." He gave my hand a gentle squeeze, directing the girl’s attention to me. It was clear from the look on her face that she didn’t appreciate being turned down.

  "I’m sure you'd have a better time with me and my friends. After all, we're younger and more . . . energetic." She even had the audacity to wink at him.

  He caught my eye, a small smirk playing on those gorgeous, plump lips of his. I rolled my eyes, taking my cigarette back off him—I needed to break him of the habit he had of taking them from me in the first place.

  "Well, that's wonderful to hear, but stamina isn't something we
need to worry about." He winked at me. "And as for being younger, didn't you know women reach their sexual peak when they hit their thirties? Thank you for the offer, but I'm perfectly happy with my present company."

  The girl threw one last glare at me and went off to join her friends.

  "Shall we head back inside?"

  I nodded, and he pulled me to my feet and led me back into the Student Union.

  The others were huddled around a table chatting, and they all looked up at us when we approached, looks of relief on their faces.

  "Anyone feel like Chinese food?" Gage asked them all when we had joined them.

  "Yeah, I could go for some sweet and sour chicken balls," Karina said.

  Matt grinned at her. "You like balls, huh?"

  "Depends on the balls. Gotta be big, juicy, and covered in a tasty sauce."

  He pinched Karina's side in retaliation to her teasing. Those two were ridiculously suited for each other, even though they were so different.

  Everyone agreed to go and find the nearest Chinese restaurant for something to eat.

  "There's a good place just down the road on High Street Ken." I told them once we gathered our stuff and began to leave.

  The streets were quiet while we walked, the conversation flowing. Karina and Matt in particular were on good form, playful arguments passing back and forth between them. I couldn't help but admire them. They were true to themselves, not changing for anyone, and not hiding their relationship when they were in public. I hadn't had to work so hard at a relationship like this since I was a teenager, and since I was going back home soon, I wanted to get things straight before I left. Otherwise, I would be a wreck until I saw Gage again. If we weren’t on the same page, I needed to know beforehand.

  "Hey, you okay?" Jenny took hold of my arm and spoke in a quiet voice so I was the only one who could hear her.

  "Yeah, we've sorted stuff out, I think, but I'm still not sure what's going on with 'us'."

  She gave my arm a gentle squeeze. "I'm sure things will clear themselves up soon."

  Wade joined us and took hold of Jenny's hand. She smiled up at him.

  "Hey, darlin's. What're y'all talking about?"