It Started in Texas

by M. B. Feeney

  "Yeah, ‘cause touring and making films and albums are so easy to manage. But I think I’ve discovered your secret. You use Wade as a double, don't you?"

  He burst out laughing. "I'd never even thought of that. Thanks for the idea, darlin'"

  When he tried to hide a yawn, I pushed to get him to stand. "Go to bed. You've got an early morning. I'll tidy up and be up in a while."

  "Need any help?" he asked me, his voice thick.

  I kissed him and shoved him towards the stairs. "I'm a big girl. Go up and get some sleep."

  Just as I finished up in the kitchen, the phone rang. I dried my hands and grabbed it.

  "Hello?" I lit my last cigarette of the day and sat on the back step.

  "It's me." Dermot sounded nervous, something I wasn’t used to hearing in his voice.

  "Hey, are the kids are okay?"

  "Yeah, they're both asleep. Listen, can we have a chat when I drop the kids back tomorrow?"

  "Sure. Is everything okay?" Was he going to tell me he'd met someone? While I couldn’t complain if he had, the thought gave me a weird feeling.

  "Yeah, it’s fine. See you tomorrow." He ended the call, leaving me a bit confused.

  I finished my cigarette, locked up, and made my way upstairs, expecting to find a gorgeous Texan fast asleep in my bed. However, I was surprised to hear Gage's voice as I reached the top of the stairs.

  "Yes, Mom, I know. She really liked y'all, too. The kids are wonderful. I don't know if we'll have any of our own. No, it's not because she's too old, you were her age when you had Sophie."

  I felt bad for listening, but I couldn't pull myself away.

  "Yes, I love her, Mom. No, I'm not gonna pull a Matt, as you so eloquently put it. I don't know how we'll cope with the distance, but we will."

  I walked back downstairs and came back up, making a little more noise, and opened the bedroom door. "Okay, Mom. Love you, too. See you at the airport tomorrow."

  "You were talking to your mum?" I beamed a little too much, "I thought only girls did that."

  "I know you heard me." He glanced back at me and grinned, "Your top step creaks."

  "Fuck." I pressed my head into my forearm with a groan.

  "I don't mind. I didn't say anything that wasn't true and that I wouldn't say to your face." Gage kissed me, then pulled me down and wrapped his arms around me.

  I caught him stifling a yawn again. "Time for the Texan to sleep."

  Gage undressed and climbed into the bed, and I set the alarm and joined him.

  "Sleep well, darlin'. I love you."

  "Love you, too."

  It felt like we’d been asleep mere minutes when my phone’s alarm started to play another of my favourite Lyrics songs, telling us it was time to wake up.

  "Darlin', that alarm tone is kinda freaky." How could he sound so alert at stupid o’clock in the morning?

  "I like it, so hush." My eyes were heavy and my voice thick with sleep, but I sat up and rubbed my face in an attempt to wake myself up a bit more.

  "Yes, ma'am." Gage sat up and ran his hands through his hair. "I need to shower."

  After he walked out of the room, I flopped back onto the bed. The past week had been nothing short of perfect, and I had started to feel like we had some semblance of a proper relationship. Even so, with all of the relationships I'd had, the moment things seemed to be going right, whoosh went the rug from under my feet. Banishing the shitty thoughts to the back of my mind, I clambered out of bed and made my way downstairs.

  Although his words were mumbled, I could hear Gage singing in the shower. Over the sound of running water, I listened the tune coming from the bathroom. It amazed me how mundane little things like that made me so happy. However, my happiness was tinged with sadness at the thought of being left behind.

  Once I’d gotten up and headed downstairs, I made him a coffee and a cup of tea for myself, then went back up to the bedroom and waited for him to finish.

  Gage came out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped round his waist and another in his hands he was using to dry his hair.

  "I never pegged you for a singing in the shower type. You could at least sing someone else's song rather than your own.” I teased.

  "It's all your fault, darlin'." He shook out his hair, covering me in droplets of cold water. “Should have a different alarm tone.”

  "Get dressed, and then I'll call you a cab to the airport."

  "No need. Mom and Dad are picking me up in their rental car. I have at least an hour." Gage pulled me in close in his damp arms. "I'm sure we could have plenty of fun in an hour." He winked at me.

  "I'm sure we could, but I also need a shower. I am not seeing your parents in my PJs." I pushed him away.

  "Oh, look." He pointed to his arm, but I couldn’t see anything. "I think I missed a bit of dirt, right here."

  His eyebrow raised, mischief written all over his face.

  "How will you cope?"

  "I guess I need another shower.”

  A squeal escaped me when he grabbed me round the waist and carried me into the bathroom, slung over his shoulder.

  Fifty minutes later, we were both dressed and sitting in the quiet front room when we heard the car horn. I opened the door to find Margaret walking towards the house.

  "Mornin', honey." She gave me a quick, tight hug. "I just wanted to say goodbye before we left for the airport."

  "Thank you. It's been wonderful meeting you and Wayne."

  She hugged me again while Gage's dad came in to get the suitcase sitting by my front door.

  "We also wanted to give you a little present," Margaret continued.

  "You really didn't have to," I told her.

  "I know we didn't, but you welcomed us into your home. You've brought my boy into your family and your heart. It was the least we could do." The gift she gave me was beautifully wrapped. Margaret encouraged me to open it.

  "Did you know about this?" I asked Gage, but he shook his head, looking just as surprised as I was.

  "Nothin', darlin'." He watched while I carefully unwrapped the wrapping paper. Inside was a small, brown leather photo album and a matte black frame that held a picture of Gage and me from the big ‘family’ picnic in the park. We were talking, heads together and looking into each other's eyes.

  I handed it to him to hold so I could look through the album. There were only a few pictures inside, taken without our knowledge in different places, and there were plenty of spaces yet to be filled. There were photos of us alone, with my kids, and one with Jenny, Ali, and Wade.

  "Gage said you didn't have many pictures of you together, so we thought you'd like a few that we'd taken throughout the week."

  I didn't know what to say, and I could feel a lump forming in my throat. "Thank you. It's wonderful." I threw my arms around them both.

  "We're glad you like it, darlin'. Now, I'm sorry to say we have to go." Gage's dad led his wife out of the door. "Son, we'll wait for you in the car."

  I said my final goodbye to them and then turned back to Gage, who was putting the framed photograph on the fireplace. Tears pricked my eyes when he turned to face me. He moved forward and wrapped his arms around me.

  "Don't cry, please don't cry." Gage pulled my face up to look at him. "I won't be able to leave if you're crying." He kissed me deep and soft, taking his time.

  "If I were a selfish person, I would cry until you agreed to stay.” My words were muffled because I’d hidden my face against his chest. “Call me when you land?"

  Gage nodded and released me, walking to the front door. Before he stepped through, he turned around and took me back into his arms. "I promise." He kissed me again. "Remember that I love you. Never, ever forget that, regardless of where I am."

  "I know you do. I love you, too." I walked up the path with him to the car, trying to hold in my tears.

  Once they had driven away, I turned to go inside but stopped when I heard my name being called. The kids were back, which was a good thing. I needed to
make sure they were all ready for their return to school, and it wouldn’t give me the opportunity to sit on my arse all day and cry.

  "Hey," Dermot said when he joined me.

  "Hey." We walked inside, where the kids had already dispersed to their rooms. "Drink?" I’d already put the kettle on.

  "Thanks." He picked up the picture of Gage and me. "This is a good picture of you."

  "Only because I didn't know it was being taken." My joke fell a little flat, and I went back into the kitchen, lit a cigarette with slightly shaking hands, and handed him a drink.

  "You okay?"

  "Not really. We had to say goodbye again."

  Dermot pulled me in for a hug. "Sorry. Doesn't get any easier, does it?"

  I shook my head against his chest, but then I pulled back. "Oh, didn’t you have something you wanted to tell me?" I remembered, feeling guilty about laying my shit on him.

  He stepped away from me, picked up one of my cigarettes, and lit it, something he hadn’t done in almost five years. "Yeah . . ." Dermot paced the kitchen a bit, running his hands through his hair. It had been a long time since I’d seen him so nervous. Eventually, he spoke, but his voice was tight. "I've been offered a new job."

  "That's great." He hated his current job with a passion since his direct supervisor disliked him and made his working days a nightmare. “What is it? Similar sort of stuff, or a complete branch out?”

  "Similar to what I’m already doing. It's a fantastic opportunity. More money, free accommodation, the whole nine yards."

  I was beaming, so pleased for him.

  "But . . . it's in South Africa."

  Speechless, I stared at Dermot, understanding why he had been so nervous. He must have expected me to go off at him.

  I found my voice at last, but all I could say was, "Wow. South Africa, huh? When do you have to decide?"

  It would kill the kids to not have their dad close by, but none of us would ever want to stand in his way. I’d make sure they understood, and I knew Dermot would keep in constant contact. He loved them too much not to do.

  "Before the end of the day tomorrow." There was sadness in his voice, and I couldn’t imagine having to make such a momentous decision in such a short amount of time.

  "How long would you be over there?"

  "For about eighteen months to two years."

  That wouldn't be too bad, in the grand scheme of things.

  "To start with."

  Oh. "To start?"

  He didn't quite look me in the eye. "I'll be over there on secondment at first, helping set up the new office. There’s a possibility that they may want me to stay over there permanently."

  "Wow. This is big." I paced around the kitchen. "Don't get me wrong, I'm pleased for you, I really am, but . . ."

  "I know. That’s why I wanted to talk to you and the kids about it before I made any decisions."

  Despite his words, I could tell he already had decided, and who could blame him? It was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. "You want to go, don't you?"

  His silence was my confirmation.

  "Come on. Let's tell the kids." I took hold of his hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

  The kids had taken the news better than either of us had expected. They'd understood that Daddy had to go away for work, and we'd even looked on the Internet at where he would be living. Grace saw the silver lining when she saw how close the beach was to his apartment. She was already planning visits, talking about spending the six-week summer holidays there. Dermot had said that would be fine since he would be able to take off as much time as he needed. Perks of being the boss, I guessed. Sam wanted to go see the wild animals, which petrified me, but at the same time I was happy about his eagerness.

  They were both in bed, and I was sitting at the computer working. No one was online, which suited me. I wasn't much in the mood to talk, and I needed to work on finishing up some lesson planning. Once that was finished, I was still feeling productive, so I dug out a notebook and began to make notes for end of year reports. There was no harm in being ahead of the game. Soon, I was immersed in a task I’d considered tedious before.

  The house phone rang, sounding louder than ever in the silence and making me jump. Without considering the late hour, I walked across the room to answer it.

  "Hello?" Distracted, I returned to my desk to carry on making notes.

  "Hey, darlin'."

  I immediately felt better at hearing Gage's voice after going twenty hours with radio silence, but I couldn’t stop my deep sigh.

  "What's wrong?"

  My work was set aside while I told him about Dermot’s relocation.

  "Oh, darlin'. Are you okay?"

  "I'm fine. Just a bit shell shocked. It was bad enough saying goodbye to you this morning, but the prospect of having to say goodbye to him, maybe permanently, was just a bit much." I wiped my eyes, refusing to cry anymore.

  "I wish I could be there with you."

  "So do I. Did your parents get back home okay?"

  "They did. I just spoke to Dad. Mom's all tucked up in bed."

  I chuckled.

  "I have to go. I just wanted to let you know I was home and that I love you."

  "I love you, too."

  He ended the call, leaving me feeling lonelier than I already had been.

  It took Dermot eight months to get everything sorted for his move to South Africa, and they were really hard. Not only was Gage stuck in some godforsaken place in South America without Wi-Fi or phone networks, but also I was losing my best friend and the father of my children.

  I think Karina put it most eloquently. "Well, that sucks." On screen, she was toying with her bracelet again, clearly a little bit distracted. It had been a gift from Matt, and she’d not taken it off since he’d given it to her. She played with the charms on it whenever she was stressed or nervous.

  "Thanks for your concern, seriously."

  "No, you know I mean it—I can't imagine losing touch with Jimmy and being away from Matt all in the space of half a breath. It seriously would suck." She and her ex, Jimmy, had been pretty serious for almost four years, until he’d decided he needed a change of scenery. Things had been awkward, but over time, they’d developed a good friendship.

  "Honestly, Karina, you suck at advice."

  "Thanks."

  There was a short pause while we looked at each other, both trying to keep a straight face. As usual, it lasted all of about seven seconds, and then we were almost in tears from our laughter.

  "Anyway, missus, we were talking about getting you and the kids away from all your bullshit. It's about time you visited, anyway!"

  "Yeah, I've been meaning to go see this person I know in Baton Rouge." I grinned. "Funny, and pretty cool . . ."

  She sat up a little straighter, the grin on her face widening until I pulled the rug out from under her.

  "So, when's Matt free next?"

  "Fine." She stuck out her tongue at me. "Whatever, you can just miss out on Vegas."

  "Vegas?" I slammed my hands down on the keyboard. "You're shitting me! You're planning Vegas for his birthday?"

  "I know. I'm dreading it turning into something like a bad stag night movie. Can’t you just imagine Matt Callaghan getting roofied and going missing for three days in France or somewhere that’s not Vegas In all honesty, I have no choice. They have two gigs there, so I can’t exactly plan a party across the country can I?" That was a fair point.

  At that point, I realised that Karina looked different. She looked happy. Her eyes were brighter, and she was smiling even when her face was relaxed. She looked as though she belonged there, in the US with Matt, and I wondered if Gage and I would have that kind of glow when . . . well, when we worked something out.

  "Arranging this birthday party is going to be the fucking death of me, I swear."

  "No, it won't. It's going to be great. I've booked our flight for the Friday before the party. Don't want me passing out with jet lag during the big event."
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  "Oh, that’ll be good. Anyway, I gotta go. Phone calls must be made and emails sent out. See you soon."

  Once we’d ended the call, I typed out a text to Gage in hopes that he would miraculously wander into an area with phone coverage.

  Then I shut down the computer and sat down on the sofa to watch TV. Whenever things were quiet in the house, I began to think about Gage again. This time, though, my thoughts weren't tinged with sadness. I remembered him surprising us by showing up at my front door on Christmas Eve, in full-on Santa regalia, bearing gifts for the kids.

  "What the hell are you doing here?" I asked him.

  "I wanted to surprise my woman and her kids. Is that so wrong?" Gage pulled me into his arms and kissed me. "I missed you so much, darlin'."

  He followed me into the front room where the kids and Dermot were playing card games on the floor. The kids looked shocked to see 'Santa' in their front room, but Grace saw Gage’s boots and realised who it was. With an excited squeal, she launched herself at him.

  Once the kids had opened his presents and packed up a few things, Dermot took them to his place for the night to give us some privacy, for which I was extremely grateful. Gage and I curled up on the sofa and chatted about everything that had happened while we'd been apart. He told me he was going to South America to film just after the New Year and would be there for almost a year, and I informed him that my life was still as mundane as ever. I made him laugh when I told him about Grace telling her friends that Uriel from Wings had sleepovers at her house. Not that any of her friends believed her. Once the film was out on general release, Gage had gotten more media and female attention than ever.

  "We'll have to rectify that soon. I don't want her being called names, especially when she's telling the truth."

  "I've told her not to tell anyone, but will she listen? No."

  Gage told me not to worry, took my hand, and led me upstairs.

  Once we were in my bedroom, he pulled my face to his and kissed me, his hand cradling my head.