The Impostor, A Love Story

by Tiffany Carmouche

  My secret crush was getting really bad. The fact I hadn’t seen him go home with any girls lately made it even worse.

  At the end of the evening, I pulled the money out of my pockets and walked to the bar, counting it. I loved cashing in my tips on nights like these. Smiling at the fives and tens in my pile, I leaned against the bar, waiting to trade the ones in for bigger bills.

  The lights went on and everyone started cleaning up. As the band began putting away all their equipment, Dylan made his way up to the bar. Oh my god, why was he so beautiful? I caught myself staring and quickly looked at the bar, ironing the crumpled dollars on the counter with the palm of my hand to try and distract me.

  “Hey, thanks for all the drinks tonight.” He grinned.

  Those annoying butterflies tickled the walls of my abdomen. I breathed in, trying not to say anything dumb. “Oh, it wasn’t me. It was my customers. They were great. They were buying me drinks all night, so I thought I’d share the wealth.” I leaned over and lightly touched his arm to imply don’t worry about it. Holy crap, it was a rock.

  “Well, we all appreciated it.” He smiled that incredible smile again. “So what do you like to do after work?” I was still thinking about how hard his bicep was. It took me a moment to realize I was supposed to respond.

  “Truth is I really am kinda boring. I usually just go home to bed.”

  “Well, that sounds fun.” He winked.

  “It’s not an invitation. I’m sorry. I go alone. Well, not really alone, but with Emily.”

  “That really does sound fun.” He cocked his eyebrow. I turned away embarrassed. How do I respond?

  It was so hard to pretend I wasn’t interested, especially since I was tipsy.

  “Why don’t you all come to my place for a while?” Brad asked.

  “How does that sound?” The chiseled god focused back on me. He tucked the hair that hung in my face behind my ear and stared into my eyes. “What would you like to do tonight?”

  Was it obvious that I found him incredibly delicious? I had to break eye contact and glance down. Because of the alcohol, I fixated on his attributes: an incredible musician with an Olympian body, a great sense of humor, and did I mention his chocolate-brown eyes? As he leaned on the bar, his biceps bulged out even more, and his chest almost broke through the tiny tank top he had painted on.

  I imagined his muscular arms wrapped around me as I lay on his chest. Mmm, the warmth of his hot muscular body as he serenaded me to sleep, I sighed. I shook my head to get myself out of my dreamlike state, but when I came to he was still perfect, and he was still looking deep into my eyes. I playfully glanced down and then back into his eyes as if that would break the spell. It’s got to be all those drinks I had.

  “Come on, Nicole. It’ll be fun. Bring your friend if you like.”

  My name seemed to sing from his lips. I exhaled.

  “Why don’t you come with us? I promise I will behave.”

  I just blushed again. “I really can’t.” I grabbed my purse from behind the bar to leave.

  “Goodnight, Brad. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Then I turned to the Greek god, “Goodnight, Dylan.” I smiled bashfully.

  “I hope you change your mind. Here’s my number in case you do. I can pick you up if you need a ride.” He cornered me on the bar. His fingertips gently ran over my forehead, brushing the hair that had fallen, out of my eyes. Leaning over, he cradled my face in his hands and kissed me on the cheek.

  I froze in his grasp, unable to move away. His lips were so soft, warm, moist; his hands, so gentle. I felt fragile, desperate to collapse in his arms and have him whisk me away. Kiss me, I silently pleaded but blinked and slowly pulled my face away from his, trying to break the captivity of his almost-ebony eyes.

  “Goodnight, Dylan. Sweet dreams.” My heartbeat almost rang in my ears. What just happened? Am I dreaming? It was just a kiss on the cheek, but it might as well have been a wedding proposal.

  I almost stumbled as I walked toward the door, even more intoxicated by his beauty than all the shots. Emily was in the corner of the bar waiting to see what I would decide to do.

  Somehow, I was able to muster the strength to walk away. Of course, I’d dream about him for the next . . . forever. But at least I didn’t do anything stupid.

  Emily and I jumped into one of the cabs waiting out back. Once the door closed, I began almost shaking. Thinking about him made chills go up my spine and made me weak in the knees.

  “I think I’m in love.” Okay it wasn’t love. It was complete infatuation, but who cares? I felt hot, then I shivered with cold. I just wanted to sprint back inside and jump into his arms, but I stopped myself.

  “We can go to Brad’s place. Whatever you want to do. It’s kinda cute to see you get all flustered.”

  “Oh my god, is it that obvious I’m totally into him?”

  “Yeah, it sure is.”

  “I’m so embarrassed.”

  “I think he likes you too. There is nothing to be embarrassed about. He kissed you, remember?”

  “It was just on the cheek. It’s not like he meant anything from it.”

  “I don’t know, Nicole. I think he did. Why don’t we go back? He leaves next month. If you want to spend any time with him, maybe we should go to Brad’s. Besides, I haven’t heard you even mention Ronald since you started crushing on Dylan. That’s a good thing.”

  “I know, but I don’t want to complicate things. My stomach’s in knots. He really messed me up. I don’t want to feel like this.” I sighed.

  “You can handle a pretty boy who is amazingly hot and wants you as much as you want him. You can control yourself, I’m sure. You have for all those other pretty boys who have come on to you.”

  “I know. It’s probably because I drank a lot tonight. I have to think about breathing, and it’s almost like someone is tickling me. I feel nauseous. Why am I so foolish? He’s a total player. It’s got to be the alcohol. Tomorrow I’ll be fine.”

  The cab finally pulled into the motel. As we paid him, the smirk on his face told me he had been listening to our whole conversation.

  The cold air stung me as we opened the door and ran to the motel room. I didn’t even wash my face or take off my clothes. I jumped in bed and rolled the covers around me, falling asleep. I began to enter the world of dreams.

  “Goodnight, Dylan.” I gave him one last delicate kiss. “Sweet dreams,” I whispered pulling myself away and began to walk out the door. He followed me.

  “Don’t go.” He pulled me close to him and leaned in to kiss me. As his lips kissed mine again, I just gave in to my desire and melted into his touch. I couldn’t breathe. Mmm.

  BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP. The blasting noise trumpeted and broke my delicious dream. Five more minutes! I wanted to escape back into his rippled arms. Just five more minutes. BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP. It trumped again. I covered my head with the pillow, but the noise kept screaming at me.

  There was no way it was already time to get up. It seemed like I just closed my eyes. I yawned, nestled deeper into the covers and began dreaming about how safe it felt having his arms wrapped around me. BEEP, BEEP, BEEP. Shit. I wanted to throw something at the stupid clock.

  “Nicole, it’s already nine-thirty. We better hurry. Chris is going to pick us up after the lunch shift.”

  I didn’t want to get out of the covers into the frigid air, and jumping in the shower seemed even more troublesome. Part of me really wanted to go to work so I could see Dylan this evening. But, being the chicken I am, I was really happy we planned to go horseback riding with Chris instead.

  “Nicole, are you thinking about Dylan again? You deserve to be treated like a goddess. He is cute, but don’t get too attached, you know of his reputation. Hurry up. We don’t want to be late.”

  She was right. I finally made my way to the blow dryer and started getting ready, quickly sneaking in a call to my Jessica to tell her I was going horseback riding! I loved to begin the day with her sweet voice. />
  I remembered the locket Steve had given me. I grabbed my pants off the ground, pulling out the necklace. I went through my pictures of Jess to find one that would fit in the locket, placing each picture over the face of it until I found the perfect one. I ran to the office and borrowed some scissors and cut the picture to fit. I placed it in the locket just as the taxi pulled up.

  Chapter Ten

  “Have you ever ridden a horse before?” Chris asked, walking in the fenced-in area.

  “Yeah, back in Maryland,” I said confidently.

  “Great, I’ll give you Misty.” His soft dimples appeared. Chris’s tall and slender build seemed more relaxed in the jeans and t-shirt he wore today than in the suits he usually wore. He pulled a horse out of the stable with a chestnut coat and a gorgeous black mane—so beautiful, and so, so, so tall.

  Okay, I’m five feet. I scrutinized the horse. How the hell am I going to get up there? Chris could see my anxiety and shook his head with a gleam in his eyes as I practically did the splits to reach the stirrups.

  He brought Emily a striking white horse, noble and magical like a unicorn. Emily appeared so tiny next to this mammoth creature. Of course, her delicate frame made the animal seem much bigger than it was. She held the reins for a moment. It was a stunning picture. Emily stood there elegantly, her light brown hair streaming past her shoulders. Her smile was contagious.

  Her dimples, more pronounced than Chris’s, made her face light up when she spoke. She stood, holding onto the beautiful alabaster mare with the Alaskan mountains as her backdrop. I couldn’t believe we didn’t have a camera.

  I waited for a moment to see her make a fool of herself, too, but Chris saved her the humiliation. He chuckled as he brought her horse over to the fence to help her get on.

  “This is how it’s done,” he instructed.

  “Okay, make me feel like a fool, why don’t you?” I commented on my failed attempts at mounting the horse.

  “It was rather entertaining.” Chris laughed.

  “Hey, you better be nice, or I’ll tell Emily you are a serial killer and not to date you.”

  “How do you know that I’m not?” He laughed an exaggerated evil laugh. Even though I knew he was joking, I couldn’t help thinking for a moment about that guy that was out there bringing girls to remote areas in the wilderness and hunting them down. I looked at him again. This was kind of remote. My thoughts were broken by Emily.

  “Nicole is a black belt. Why do you think I bring her with me on all my dates? She’s my bodyguard,” Emily joked.

  Truth is we were each other’s bodyguard. I went with her everywhere, and she went with me everywhere. We were in this strange new place where we were totally at the mercy of others. Not that we were really much protection for each other. We were both a little over one-hundred pounds, but it made us feel a little safer that we were together.

  The black-belt thing was a lie. I couldn’t hurt a fly.

  Climbing up the fence, I held on to the top as I straddled the horse. Piece of cake. Chris opened the doors to the barnyard. I focused on the mountain in front of us.

  Chris kicked his horse and started toward the mountain range. “Um, we are going out there?” I mumbled.

  The mountain was kind of big. No, we were in Alaska. That sucker was huge. I have to admit, I was a little intimidated by the vast wilderness we were about to disappear into, especially since he made the “How do you know I’m not a serial killer?”comment.

  Chris was one of the sweetest guys around. I was sure he wouldn’t do anything that would put us in danger. At least I hoped not. Maybe I shouldn’t have said I’d ridden before—that had been an easy trail ride, not an Alaskan adventure.

  “Come on,” Chris beckoned us. Emily and I sat there. I felt mean kicking a horse.

  “Kick it. Let’s head on out,” he advised.

  I made a lame attempt at kicking her. It was more like a love tap.

  “You’ve got to kick her harder.” He shook his head. Finally, after multiple attempts, I got Misty going.

  I had never been in the mountains on horseback. It felt almost freeing as I rode through the fall foliage of the Alaskan wilderness. The world seemed so different on her back. Peaceful. It was as if I was on a drug. My senses were being stimulated, awakening in me things I hadn’t felt for a long time.

  The gentle breeze through the trees seemed to whisper and gently caressed my hair. I just sat, as we made our way up the mountain, listening to the sounds of nature. The steady strike of hooves as they hit the dirt began the symphony with a drumbeat. A choir of songbirds filled the air with music. And the breeze became the cello, adding an underlying warmth, transporting me into a world of my own—like my dad’s classical music did while growing up.

  I let go of my nagging thoughts and relaxed into the moment. I wanted to close my eyes, but I didn’t dare. I didn’t want to fall off the horse (that would have been a bad thing), but mostly, I realized, I didn’t want to miss a minute of it. There is nothing quite like the Alaskan mountains. The breaks in the trees unveiled the snow-covered mountain tops. Could anything be so beautiful?

  As sunlight danced in a rainbow of amber, a warmth came over me. I remembered how it felt to bring color to an empty canvas. A smile emerged from within. As the air filled my lungs, I realized there were no signs of impurities. I breathed the pure air.

  Emily and I trotted behind Chris, taking in the view. After a while, the trail started going steeply downhill. My instincts told me to lean forward and hold on with all my might.

  “You want to lean back,” Chris corrected. “If you lean forward, you will fall right off the horse, and then he will trample you.”

  Oh, how wonderful. That didn’t sound like something that would fit into my perfect day.

  I made a conscious decision not to look down anymore. I could feel myself sliding toward the front end of the horse. I knew I had to release my death grasp, and apprehensively, I slowly leaned back until I was almost lying on the horse. My feet in the stirrups felt as if they were standing.

  I could feel every muscle in my abs scream as I lay backward, simulating a stomach crunch as we made the ninety-degree drop. Okay, so it wasn’t ninety degrees, but that sucker was steep. Whispering a silent prayer like HELP! on the inside, I tried to remain calm, cool, and collected on the outside. I held on tight, convinced my smooth composure camouflaged my fear until I realized my yelps and horrified shit comments may have given me away.

  As we got to the end of the drop, I breathed that same refreshing Alaskan air, yet this time with even more appreciation. I almost died, but I am alive. I am breathing. I am breathing! Yes! Okay, maybe it was more like panting, but oh, how wonderful to be sitting upright on a horse again.

  “Oh, my god.” I could hear Emily behind me.

  I stared ahead. “Oh my god, it’s beautiful!” I joined in her awe. We brought our horses to the river. Emily, Chris, and I stood in paradise, captivated. The sanctuary was our own.

  The river stretched as far as the eye could see. Hovering above, a mountain range caressed the river’s edge and sprouted all the way to infinity. The trees—a sprinkling of vibrant colors—not only graced the mountainside, but their mirror-like reflection was utterly perfect in the river below.

  Every amber branch, every sunset tree, every ruby leaf was painted as clear in the water’s reflection as illustrated in the mountain leaning over it. Colors for as far as the eyes could see, I just sat there on this thousand-pound beauty, taking it all in.

  “You all hungry?” Chris asked. He jumped off his horse with such ease, it seemed choreographed. He started rummaging in a little pack he had on the back of the horse. “I brought us something to eat.” He began pulling things out of the pack like a Mary Poppin’s sack.

  A bottle of wine, cheese and crackers, and all sorts of goodies were in his magical bag. The bundle, actually a blanket rolled up in a strategic way, became a picnic blanket for the three of us. We dined, the masterpiece our
backdrop as we drank wine, laughing and soaking up the magic. Chris made a little fire—not that we were cold, but it was just nippy enough.

  I glanced at Emily. Her face radiated like it did when we were kids hearing the music of the neighborhood ice cream truck. I felt weird being the third wheel. This could have been so romantic for Emily, but she wouldn’t have gone alone into the woods with him, and they seemed not to mind.

  “We best be heading out. We don’t want to have to ride back in the dark.” Getting ready to go back, we burned all of our trash and packed away everything else, leaving this paradise as God made it—perfect.

  When I dismounted, I hadn’t thought about the challenge of getting back on. I glanced around for a large rock or a downed tree to stand on. With his hands clasped together, Chris bent over, making a stepping harness so I could hoist myself back into the saddle. Then he turned to Emily to help her. It actually proved to be less terrible than I had anticipated.

  I didn’t want to leave this hidden sanctuary. As we followed Chris back up the path, I peeked back one last time. So beautiful.

  Our downward descent became an upward climb. I didn’t say anything, but I was a little nervous to be so high off the ground as we climbed.

  “Lean forward and let the horses find their footing as we power walk the incline,” Chris yelled back.

  When we got to the top, the shadows had already begun to overtake the forest. Night was falling fast, and we were miles from the barn.

  Through the trees, the moon revealed herself, pure white. Only the dim light of the setting sun graced the horizon. The twilight-purple sky, although mesmerizing, became intimidating as well.

  The sounds of twilight were much different than those of daylight. The choir of crickets and frogs almost drowned out the birds’ gentle serenades. Owls and god-knows-what-else soon joined in the symphony. The unknown voices were a little haunting.